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Some Days It Isn't Worth ... Discussion

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1 month 5 days ago #45724 by null0trooper
null0trooper replied the topic: Some Days It Isn't Worth ... Discussion

Anne wrote: First, I read all four parts that you have up. So with that in mind, I have only to say that you're a bit twisted.


Thank you! :cheer:


Anne wrote: But then, if I was able to parse everything out this story is sort of a crossover/mix of Shadowrun and Whately. So with that in mind too, I think you did a pretty good job of blending in what would fit without running everyone nuts or completely breaking the universe and writing fan fiction that wouldn't fit.


Mads does come from one of the most challenging campaigns (and only SR campaign) I've played in. What's been interesting to me hasn't come so much from the differences in tech and magic, but from the cultural assumptions that he and Thomas are bringing with them regarding race, gender, handguns, etc. Metro still has some cool toys that the Spy Kidz may not know about. :)


Anne wrote: Over all good job, and if you have more available, I'd like to read it. I didn't read for errors or anything like that, and if I had I'd want to read the whole thing in a separate doc where I could annotate them. Still not more than I would expect from amateur work and well within the readability quotient that made any errors noted less than enough to cause me to sit down earlier and write them up. Keep it up, I liked the stories, yeah they're a bit chaotic and don't always seem to be chronologically organized but they are still not so bad as to make me have headaches and decide that I'd never take another gander at your work. Indeed as I said above, I look forward to the next installment if you are working on it.


Thanks again! Life doesn't always run smoothly when the main character is ISTP and the author avatar is INTP (by way of Myers-Briggs Type Indicator personality types), so chaos comes naturally for/to me.

The next big piece is "Metro: Pictures of You" . We've established that the boys kind of, sort of, belong at Whateley Academy with "Chewing Through the Straps". With this one I wanted to put out a Jay Declan (Lancer's brother) story without going for broke on the slapstick, and ended up focusing on the families around the characters instead. It may not read like it, but one of the biggest challenges was putting Lars Gunnison and Jay Declan together without punches being thrown - in my "head canon" the two have radically different relationships with their older brothers.

In progress, I'm setting up another character to put in a "four man band" team. Some of that will get dark when Smithy's back-story is established, but even if it's short of adventure it won't be short of events. There may be some implied sex!

Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.

WhatIF : "Chewing Through The Straps": Pt. 1 , Pt. 2 , Pt. 3 , Pt. 4

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1 month 5 days ago - 1 month 5 days ago #45725 by Anne
Anne replied the topic: Some Days It Isn't Worth ... Discussion
Is Pictures of You the parents day piece that you have in your sig? If so I just finished it. One thing stood out. somewhere in the story you have hsi for his. I didn't copy and past the section because I wasn't sure where to discuss it. Still interesting to have Jay go to the other side of the gender fence, is this in any way going to be canon?

Edit: Yes Pictures of You is the one in the sig line. I like it a lot!

Please adopt my story: whateleyacademy.net/index.php/forum/fabr...ants-to-be-different
Or at least correspond with me on how to improve it.
Discuss here: whateleyacademy.net/index.php/forum/proj...-adoption?limitstart ...
Last Edit: 1 month 5 days ago by Anne. Reason: Added stuff/

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1 month 4 days ago #45757 by null0trooper
null0trooper replied the topic: Some Days It Isn't Worth ... Discussion

Anne wrote: Is Pictures of You the parents day piece that you have in your sig? If so I just finished it. One thing stood out. somewhere in the story you have hsi for his. I didn't copy and past the section because I wasn't sure where to discuss it. Still interesting to have Jay go to the other side of the gender fence, is this in any way going to be canon?

Edit: Yes Pictures of You is the one in the sig line. I like it a lot!


Thank you!

The story probably wouldn't go into canon as-is unless folks are good with what I've done with the Declans and other canon characters here and there. But if not, Fort Bragg is BIG, and has plenty of room for Jay to be someone else's brother/sister.

I really enjoyed painting Mrs. Declan as a fiercely proud woman who loves her family and is trying hard not to make some of the mistakes her mother may have made. Nonetheless, I hope that all three mothers come across as each being successful on their own terms, including but not limited by their families.

Since I was also going to try a "Blossom" story, the younger siblings and how they related to their Whateley siblings became important. Feet of clay and all that.

Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.

WhatIF : "Chewing Through The Straps": Pt. 1 , Pt. 2 , Pt. 3 , Pt. 4

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3 weeks 2 days ago - 3 weeks 2 days ago #46497 by Ebola
Ebola replied the topic: Some Days It Isn't Worth ... Discussion
Didn't see a separate discussion board for Pictures of You so I'll just leave this here.

I enjoyed both Chewing and Pics. Are you going to release the next part on the forum or through the WhatIF section? I liked what you did with the Declans. Looks like your version of Hank is going to be buried in problems. Lilly, his Leanna Shide, and now a new sister. :roflmao:

also
Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]
Last Edit: 3 weeks 2 days ago by Ebola.

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3 weeks 2 days ago #46507 by null0trooper
null0trooper replied the topic: Some Days It Isn't Worth ... Discussion

Ebola wrote: Didn't see a separate discussion board for Pictures of You so I'll just leave this here.

I enjoyed both Chewing and Pics. Are you going to release the next part on the forum or through the WhatIF section?


I think I'd announced Part 1 up for review, and planned to for the other parts' announcement, but I keep finding bone-headed spelling/coding errors each time I look. Anyway, "Chewing" collects the forum story along with some micro-scenes and is being formatted for WhatIF. It's chronologically Metro 1, but "Pictures" is where I get to show more of who the characters have always been.

I've got a small piece getting Rorsmand to Whateley in progress, and notes being compiled on Smithy (Abelyn Elliott) and a bit of her family's background.

Ebola wrote: I liked what you did with the Declans. Looks like your version of Hank is going to be buried in problems. Lilly, his Leanna Shide, and now a new sister. :roflmao:


I tend to see Hank as a decent guy who hasn't quite learned to stop tempting the infinite perversity of the universe.

Ebola wrote: also

Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]


Ah! That's where it was!

Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.

WhatIF : "Chewing Through The Straps": Pt. 1 , Pt. 2 , Pt. 3 , Pt. 4

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