A List of Things Whateley Students are No Longer allowed to do

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1 year 7 months ago #60349 by CrazyMinh
CrazyMinh replied the topic: A List of Things Whateley Students are No Longer allowed to do
50. Devisors/Gadgeteers: No rocket-propelled chainsaws
50a. Or rocket-propelled Banana Peels (looking at you Monkeywrench!)
50b. Or rocket-propelled soda cans
50c. Or rocket-propelled swords
50d. Or rocket-propelled anything-but-rockets
50e. No, that isn't literal.

51. Jade is no longer allowed to come within ten meters of Bloodwolf. He's having to attend counselling now.
51a. Or any other ultraviolent.
51b. No, that does not mean she has to spread herself out over a ten meter space. How would you even do that and live?
51c. ....I don't even...why????

52. Food is for eating, not throwing. No food fights in the Crystal Hall.
52a. Or in the quad.
52b. Or in the cottages
52c. Or in the library
52d. Or Doyle
52e. Home economics MAY occasionally deal with cooking, but you are not to throw your fresh, hot, custard pie around the rooms.
52f. This goes for all food.
52g. I don't want to know why you thought throwing faeces was acceptable. Having 'a monkey spirit' or a 'baboon spirit' does not count.

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1 year 7 months ago #60351 by E!
E! replied the topic: A List of Things Whateley Students are No Longer allowed to do
53) Students are no longer allowed to attempt 'Magically-Sycronized K-pop Dances' in the Quad to summon a giant Hello Kitty.
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1 year 7 months ago #60353 by null0trooper
null0trooper replied the topic: A List of Things Whateley Students are No Longer allowed to do
54. Students are forbidden to charge hourly rates for access to their personal Dream Space, or anyone else's.
a) Not even if the brothels accept iPayoff.
b) We are under NO obligation to explain WHY we aren't surprised to hear about the brothels.
c) Plausible deniability only gets you so far in any world. Much like iPayoff.
d) Students found enabling the establishment of businesses offering 'metahuman comfort' or 'risk opportunities' within ANY pocket dimension or limited-access plane WILL be disciplined accordingly. Rev. Englund has many suggestions for such infractions.

55. Digital Intelligences are required to uphold all rules and regulations that could apply to students or staff while using Whateley Academy resources. Exceptions for supervised training exercises shall be considered on a case-by-case basis.
a) Ms. Amelia Hartford, as Assistant Headmistress, is considered a special case.
b) There will be no exceptions granted for using Tiny Tim to Gibbs-slap a bitch

56. Zombie familiars are expressly forbidden.

57. Radionuclides are neither suitable starting nor ending materials for magical tools.
a) Inexplicable gaps in the text of the Principia Discordia shall not be considered as justifying an fnord exemption.

58. Orange Crush is a beverage. Agent Orange is not. Neither are to be transported to or through The Grove.
a) In fact, access to The Grove is restricted to a list maintained by Security, not Kodiak.
b) If you have to ask, you are not on that list.

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1 year 7 months ago #60354 by CrazyMinh
CrazyMinh replied the topic: A List of Things Whateley Students are No Longer allowed to do
59. Students who create their own power armour are forbidden from playing loud rock music while performing arial ground-slams. While the Australian rock-band AC/DC is a extremely good band, it is not the sort of music that should be playing at 3 AM while a student performs dive bombs to 'Test their new power suit'.

60. BFG's: While cool, the ranges are each designed for a specific purpose. Bringing a large-bore, man-portable, nitrogen-cooled plasma cannon to the rifle range is not acceptable, even if it is rifle-sized. Bringing a light plasma rifle however, is. So long as you clear it with range personnel first.
60a. Yes, you are allowed to bring a light plasma rifle to the heavy weapons range. Though why you would is beyond me.

61. While there are parallels between the fictional Xavier Academy and this one, we are not said school for mutants. Students who insinuate that the school is faking it's neutrality and is actually a front for a secret team of crime-fighting mutants will be introduced to the school's sponsors for detention. Let us say that some of our sponsors do not approve of the school being dominated by "whiny super-hero-wannabe cry-babies" and will devise (literally in some cases) the most cruel and unusual punishments available. Let me remind you that the school is situated on tribal territory, and thus does not have to follow rules regarding such punishments.

62. Do NOT call Mrs Carson the following names:
- Dumbledorette
- Professor C (we do not have a resident super team, and they would not be called the C-Men even if we did!)
- Supergirl
- Superwoman
- Lady Ass-tarty
- Mrs. Ass-tarty
- Anything with Ass-tarty in it.
- Kindergarten Superhero (if you so wish, diapers can be provided by Miss Morgan at request)
- The Teachernator T34CH-1800
- The amazing teacherwoman.
- The amazing teachergirl
- Bat-teacher
- Anything but Mrs. Carson or other respectful names.

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1 year 7 months ago #60359 by lighttech
lighttech replied the topic: A List of Things Whateley Students are No Longer allowed to do

Ebola wrote: 53) Students are no longer allowed to attempt 'Magically-Sycronized K-pop Dances' in the Quad to summon a giant Hello Kitty.



TOO LATE!!!


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1 year 7 months ago #60361 by Valentine
Valentine replied the topic: A List of Things Whateley Students are No Longer allowed to do

CrazyMinh wrote: 59. Students who create their own power armour are forbidden from playing loud rock music while performing arial ground-slams. While the Australian rock-band AC/DC is a extremely good band, it is not the sort of music that should be playing at 3 AM while a student performs dive bombs to 'Test their new power suit'.

60. BFG's: While cool, the ranges are each designed for a specific purpose. Bringing a large-bore, man-portable, nitrogen-cooled plasma cannon to the rifle range is not acceptable, even if it is rifle-sized. Bringing a light plasma rifle however, is. So long as you clear it with range personnel first.
60a. Yes, you are allowed to bring a light plasma rifle to the heavy weapons range. Though why you would is beyond me.

61. While there are parallels between the fictional Xavier Academy and this one, we are not said school for mutants. Students who insinuate that the school is faking it's neutrality and is actually a front for a secret team of crime-fighting mutants will be introduced to the school's sponsors for detention. Let us say that some of our sponsors do not approve of the school being dominated by "whiny super-hero-wannabe cry-babies" and will devise (literally in some cases) the most cruel and unusual punishments available. Let me remind you that the school is situated on tribal territory, and thus does not have to follow rules regarding such punishments.

62. Do NOT call Mrs Carson the following names:
- Dumbledorette
- Professor C (we do not have a resident super team, and they would not be called the C-Men even if we did!)
- Supergirl
- Superwoman
- Lady Ass-tarty
- Mrs. Ass-tarty
- Anything with Ass-tarty in it.
- Kindergarten Superhero (if you so wish, diapers can be provided by Miss Morgan at request)
- The Teachernator T34CH-1800
- The amazing teacherwoman.
- The amazing teachergirl
- Bat-teacher
- Anything but Mrs. Carson or other respectful names.


- Wonder Woman
- Lynda Carson
- Principal Powers

Don't Drick and Drive.

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1 year 7 months ago #60473 by CrazyMinh
CrazyMinh replied the topic: A List of Things Whateley Students are No Longer allowed to do
63. Magicians are no longer allowed to summon hobgoblins deliberately to 'Save on Thanksgiving Turkey'. For one, the hobgoblins disappear very quickly. Two, they don't appreciate being skinned and stuffed. Three, they have sharp teeth.

63a. Nor is Jobe allowed to create a 'Turkey Tower' alá Oryx and Crake

63b. Look, just stay away from bio-devisor created meat, magically created meat, or anything that didn't come from the local supermarket/butchers/other foodstuff-vendor.

63c. No, that does not mean to go to a foodstuff vendor operated by a biodevisor/magician. You have no idea what you're actually eating.

63d. Whichever student successfully created Soylent Green, please report to the Principals office for a meeting with the Boston PD.

64. Thanksgiving is for celebration with the family. You should not warp into Mrs. Carson's bedroom at three in the morning from another time zone, and present her with a slice of fresh Turkey Breast. While she appreciates the gesture, she needs sleep, and you shouldn't have been in her private space anyway, regardless of 'being on vacation'.

65. Students are advised not to build their own spaceship. Unless you can prove that you can fly it to the flight instructors, you will be disassembling the craft before we get a repeat of 9/11, except with a UFO instead of a pair of planes and the Boston Metropolitan District instead of the World Trade Centre.

65a. No, KSP is not a valid flight trainer.

65b. Nor is Elite.

65c. Or Microsoft Flight Sim 2006

65d. Or Goodkind Aerospace F-112 Military-use Aerospace Combat Trainer. Where you got one of those from is beyond me.

65e. Ayla Goodkind, please report to Mrs. Carson's office.

66. Students are forbidden from having midair sex. This should be obvious. We've heard too many news reports about airline elderly passengers having heart attacks while in flight because they saw a pair of young teenagers buck naked outside the port wing of a Boston-bound flight. We've also had to get rid of too much illegal child pornography off the net, conspicuously taken from the same flights. While the arrest and detainment of such vile photographers is a good thing for all humanity, it is not the way that it should be done.

67. Jade is no longer allowed to own hamsters. The plague of massive rats that she called' hamsters' is getting severely overblown.

67a. Or Puppies. We have enough of those eyes already.

67b. Or Parakeets

67c. Or cats

67d. Or Ice Sharks. The biodevisor who thought that up should report to the counselling department immediately.

67e. Or rabbits.

67f. Oh dear god, who gave her the living My Little Ponies?

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1 year 7 months ago #60477 by Valentine
Valentine replied the topic: A List of Things Whateley Students are No Longer allowed to do
68. Biodevisors are forbidden from making unicorns.

68a. Please capture all the unicorns, Buster is embarrassed that they are following him all day.

68b. So are the rest of the Ultra Violents.

68c. OK, Generator isn't.

69. There is no rule 69.

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1 year 7 months ago #60516 by CrazyMinh
CrazyMinh replied the topic: A List of Things Whateley Students are No Longer allowed to do
70. Phase is not secretly Batman. Yes, he's rich. Yes, he's fought supervillians. Yes, he has a utility belt stuffed with gadgets. But he is NOT Bruce Wayne.

70a. Nor are the Vindicators the Avengers in disguise. The Avengers wouldn't be so incompetent competent

70b. Nor is Ms. Carson secretly Diana of Themyscira.

71. Devisors attempting to use neuralisers on staff and other students will have their sunglasses confiscated and the memory of how to build such a device appropriately removed.

71a. No, not even if you convince Belephagor not to steal from your workshop again.

71b. Jade is not allowed to use one for self hypnosis. It doesn't work like that.

71c. You are ESPECIALLY forbidden if you're using it to pick up girls.

72. Students should not tell others that their school is actually:

- Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters

- Starfleet Academy

- Battle School

- Fleet Academy

- Beacon Training Academy

- Sky High

- U.A. High School

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1 year 7 months ago #60568 by Mister D
Mister D replied the topic: A List of Things Whateley Students are No Longer allowed to do

CrazyMinh wrote:
60. BFG's: While cool, the ranges are each designed for a specific purpose. Bringing a large-bore, man-portable, nitrogen-cooled plasma cannon to the rifle range is not acceptable, even if it is rifle-sized. Bringing a light plasma rifle however, is. So long as you clear it with range personnel first.
60a. Yes, you are allowed to bring a light plasma rifle to the heavy weapons range. Though why you would is beyond me.


I recall one of the stories about Eric Mahren, when he was still a range instructor, discussed this exact set of circumstances.

There are range rules about how and when "Experimental Prototypes" are to be tested, and, the decisions of the Range Staff are final... ;)

Considering the tech-heads that make light-sabers, making a BFG would be a rite of passage.


Measure Twice

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