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Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback

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4 years 6 months ago #6780 by Greatdingo
Greatdingo replied the topic: Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback
Not at all. It will be about Starlight as I have presented her so far (slight alteration may occur).

I'm just not at all satisfied with what I've written so far, so I'm going to take a different direction. The overall story remains the same, but the path is slightly different.

I'll still include Prism in the story, because I figure I'll have a small "side-story" about how the Light-benders are considered to be jokes compared to other energy types. I know that's not really true in the Whateley 'verse, but it's something that'll figure in quite nicely in my story.
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2 years 7 months ago #50071 by Greatdingo
Greatdingo replied the topic: Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback
Ohmigod... I did something...I dunno...stupid? I'm not sure if I was ready to show off the very first part of my new Starlight story. But I decided against my own caution/hesitation.

So, uh, any thoughts?

Also, I posted it in the original thread and spoilered the first post because I didn't want to delete it, for sentimental reasons.
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2 years 7 months ago #50082 by Mister D
Mister D replied the topic: Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback
Nice start to the tale. :D


Measure Twice
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2 years 7 months ago #50084 by null0trooper
null0trooper replied the topic: Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback
I always thought that some students Do Not Pass Graduate and go directly to Other Places.

Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.

WhatIF Stories: Dream A Little Dream For Me

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2 years 7 months ago #50094 by Greatdingo
Greatdingo replied the topic: Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback
I've been thinking about rewriting the first part with the demon, after a suggestion from a friend, to make him sound more like a type of Bond villain, the perfect English gentleman. Any thoughts?

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2 years 7 months ago #50100 by Greatdingo
Greatdingo replied the topic: Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback
Hmm, does anyone know what year Melville cottage was supposedly built?

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2 years 6 months ago - 2 years 6 months ago #50292 by Greatdingo
Greatdingo replied the topic: Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback
Whilst looking for something else I found something from City of Heroes waaaay back in the day. It doesn't actually have anything to do with the story save it's what the Starlight character is based on.

Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]


I'd completely forgotten I had those. Silly, but just a teeny tiny bit cool.
Last Edit: 2 years 6 months ago by Greatdingo. Reason: Hit "submit" too soon.

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2 years 6 months ago #50293 by null0trooper
null0trooper replied the topic: Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback

Greatdingo wrote: Hmm, does anyone know what year Melville cottage was supposedly built?


No, but some of the descriptions of it have a late-1970s/early-1980s feel. Hot tub, built around a center atrium, etc.

Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.

WhatIF Stories: Dream A Little Dream For Me

Discussion Thread
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2 years 6 months ago #50294 by Greatdingo
Greatdingo replied the topic: Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback
Well, durnit. That puts a definitive end to that idea. Thanks anyway :D

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2 years 6 months ago #50365 by Mister D
Mister D replied the topic: Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback

Greatdingo wrote: Well, durnit. That puts a definitive end to that idea. Thanks anyway :D


Depends if it was the initial build, or one of the many repairs/re-furbs/re-fits...

Remember how Jadis and her friends on the freshman floor, are gradually re-building the women's showers.

You may be able to fit something around a specific feature that hasn't been mentioned yet, eg. The underground hot-tubs near Poe.


Measure Twice
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