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Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback

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2 years 6 months ago #50391 by Greatdingo
Greatdingo replied the topic: Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback
Very true, but it was more when the actual building was put up. I figured, since it was new, maybe it was really new. But it's not a problem. Thanks anyway.

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2 years 6 months ago - 2 years 6 months ago #50392 by Malady
Malady replied the topic: Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback
crystalhall.wikia.com/wiki/Whateley_Academy_History :

Whateley Academy started in 1896 as a regular, albeit unsuccessful New England Preparatory school.

...

When the school left receivership and fell into foreclosure, the property was acquired by the Whateley Trust, ...

Present among the weeds were the Historic Buildings:

Shuster Hall
Kane Hall
Kirby Hall
The Beck Library
Dickinson Cottage
Whitman Cottage
Poe Cottage
Emerson Cottage
Twain Cottage

EDIT: I can't read either. You wanted Melville info. That's further down, as you saw before I did:

Expansion_1971-1980 : "Short of dorm space, in 1981 ground was broken on Melville Cottage"
Last Edit: 2 years 6 months ago by Malady.
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2 years 6 months ago - 2 years 6 months ago #50477 by Greatdingo
Greatdingo replied the topic: Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback
Thanks Malady, but I've already scoured the WIKI as best I could, and that entry doesn't really tell me what I needed to know.

Oh wait, reading it again, I can see it does tell me. Duh!
Last Edit: 2 years 6 months ago by Greatdingo. Reason: I can't read.
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2 years 6 months ago #50675 by Greatdingo
Greatdingo replied the topic: Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback
Ho Ho Ho, it's an Xmas miracle. I've posted something.

Hooray.

Now, to be perfectly frank, I hate what I've posted today. I hate everything about it. Except for one thing. It's progress!

Yay progress!

In any case, if anyone has any nice words of wisdom to share, please do not hesitate making them available for me (That's words of wisdom about the story, mind you.)

Also, merry xmas.

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2 years 6 months ago #50676 by Darkmuse
Darkmuse replied the topic: Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback
That was really interesting, in fact one of the most interesting things I've read here for a time. Not that other things haven't been good but they haven't caused me to grab my keyboard! I would be disappointed if it ended here, you've laid down a decent basis with some fun threads waving in the wind.

I really must get to my own Garbage Heap in Progress.

Looking forward to the next sign of progress!
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2 years 6 months ago #50684 by Greatdingo
Greatdingo replied the topic: Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback
Thanks, Darkmuse, that's high praise. I have no intention of letting the story end here, but I'm not a fast writer.

The plan is, for the first Starlight story, to establish the portfolio of characters, both friends and foes and to maybe provide a hint at the over arching plot.

As will be evident in the next part (spoilers!) Twinkle Twinkle will also include Max, the chainsaw carrying maniac and his friends.

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2 years 6 months ago #50700 by Mister D
Mister D replied the topic: Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback
Chewier and chewier. :D

Is it the original come back somehow, or is it something that's wearing her face? :D

And what happened to the person that killed her? :D

Lots of potential plot-hooks, and all kinds of ways that it could develop. Chewy. :D

Looking forward to the next part...


Measure Twice
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2 years 6 months ago #50803 by Greatdingo
Greatdingo replied the topic: Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback
Oh god, I did it again!

I DID IT AGAIN!

Well, this is what you get for having no distractions. Now, in this part you'll notice that I've skipped a bit in time. What's that you say, Dingo? The story began July 12th and suddenly it's mid September? Madness! Madness is what that is.

Well, there's a reason for that, of course. I wanted to try that "ye old trope" about skipping a part and then interspersing that part here and there in flashbacks and such and put in little hints here and there.

Also, it was because I wanted to get to the school proper. I'm not very good at this, y'know.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and as always, if you have any cool criticisms, feedbacks and whatnots, don't hesitate to sling 'em at me.

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2 years 6 months ago #50842 by Darkmuse
Darkmuse replied the topic: Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback
Moving on is cool. Hanging around ARC could have seriously slowed everything down. Trying to introduce everyone at once is hard but I like the touch with the TG remembrance ceremony.
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2 years 6 months ago #50850 by Greatdingo
Greatdingo replied the topic: Twinkle twinkle little Starlight! Feedback
I'm going to rewrite the whole conversation between Delarose and Rutherford. It doesn't make much sense, and it doesn't come out at all as I intended.

Thanks Darkmuse, I did figure that that would be suitable for this part.

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