Question ...You Might be a Student at Whateley

If you look at Taylor Swift and go 'Meh, Not Bad....'

If a bunch of masked terrorists break in with guns ready, and your reaction is: 'Am I going to be graded on this?'

If the 'Belly Buster Breakfast' at Denny's is a 'light snack' to you.

If the gory, convoluted, twisted, horrific revenge that you planned on the bullies who tormented you in Middle School suddenly seems all too possible.

If you think that 'X-Men: First Class' is absolutely hilarious.

If you run into a snarling, fanged, furred bestial vision of horror, and your reaction is: "Hey Sam- do you still have your Organic Chemistry notes? I lost mine."

If when you see 'Avengers: Age of Ultron', your reaction is 'What? It's a simple programming error! Where's the movie?'

If someone says 'I know what you're thinking', but really, YOU know what HE''s thinking.

If you keep getting the Olympics and the Special Olympics mixed up

If you keep recognizing props from Spy and Sci-Fi movies as Workshop projects

If, after graduation, you see a superhero and a supervillain in an epic battle, your reaction is: 'Well this is gonna be awkward at the Reunion'

If Doctor Destructicon owes you a favor for helping his kid pass Trig.

If, when the power goes out, your roommate hooks the computer up to you

If you hear "Please pass the deuterium" from your classmate behind you.

If you hit the floor and keep rolling when you hear someone say 'Ooops!'

If two students are throwing each other through doors, denting walls, and causing the ceiling to fall down, and your response is, "Please keep it down! I'm trying to study for a test!"

If your response to a sexy half-naked catgirl is to complain about the hairballs...

Astrodragon wrote: If your response to a sexy half-naked catgirl is to complain about the hairballs...

Eh, don't you mean "married"?

When a costumed person strikes a villainous pose and declares, "I'm going to destroy you and take over the world," you tell them to practice their 'Monologueing 101 speech' somewhere else.

You see a hero stop a bank robbery, and your first thought is the poor choices of cut and color combination of their spandex costume.

When you receive a mediocre grade for wanting to blow up the world, when the teacher marks your paper pointing out the little discrepancies of why it won't work.

You get into a lengthy discussion of 'why' you don't want to rule the world for tax purposes.

You pick up a brand new Smartphone and realise you only have three contact types in it:
• Those you want to block from contacting you
• Those you've made yourself to hide when you are contacting others.
• and finally those you can't call from this phone anyway, but the contacts list is a convenient place to store the 64 character alphanumeric passcodes needed to allow the deviser phone to contact them.

You get the only A on a term paper in Superheroing 101 when you rightly point out the tax advantages and liability insurance savings of being a villain as opposed to being a hero.

You go home for the holidays and a friend gives you one of his favourite Playboy magazines from his dad's collection, and honestly, if it wasn't for the stories you'd have had a hard time getting through it.

You get up in the morning, finish putting your uniform on and then spend fifteen minutes going through your wardrobe trying to work out what you want to wear.

after the THIRD delay at the airport, you grab your suitcase and just fly yourself.

you decide to take an airline instead of flying yourself because the airline has drink service and you can't afford another Flying While Intoxicated fine.

Watching Star Trek is no fun because you know the so-called futuristic gadgets simply do not work the way they're described.

Your workshop starts building an X-wing fighter to settle a bet with another class that it's better than a Colonial Viper.

The girls skin care regime includes rock polish, glass cleaner, industrial grade sheep shears, hydrochloride acid, and molten metal waxing strips.

elrodw wrote:
Your workshop starts building an X-wing fighter to settle a bet with another class that it's better than a Colonial Viper.

And you end up making a Robotech transforming jet fighter after a long night and too much coffee. It's hazy, but you remember laughing a lot.

Domoviye wrote:

elrodw wrote:
Your workshop starts building an X-wing fighter to settle a bet with another class that it's better than a Colonial Viper.

And you end up making a Robotech transforming jet fighter after a long night and too much coffee. It's hazy, but you remember laughing a lot.

And the class down the hall is now building a proper one, based on a F-16 and things are all tense and uncomfortable after some of the words exchanged.

You're glued to the ceiling, your nads are on fire, half the wall is missing but they're sure that this time they've got the doses right for your best friends meds.

You've got three types of friends:

1. Those that know what you are
2. Those that know who you are
3. and those you've known since primary school who think puberty hit early with all the lucky genes

For taking out your previous school while in shop class giggling malevolently as the students fed you more coffee.

Your parents can no longer pay your friends to come by when you wanted to play the villain only the traps really did work.

You use Hydrochloric Acid as a mouth wash.

You parents still refuse to open Official Letters from your school after the heart attack your father had on opening the first letter with the fees schedule, that's now the job of the butler, with the on call accountant required to give the news to father along with which assets would be best to liquify in order to pay them.

Your no longer permitted in gym as many no longer consider you the scrawny runt, even if you are still scrawny, having dunked the star basketball player in the net for 3 points.

Your parents expect you to pay back your school fees before they die, so you've invented a youth serum to give both them and yourself enough time to earn back all that money.

When someone screams "Bloody murder!" repeatedly, you have to remind yourself that you're in the sims.

When the phrase "this doesn't seem physically possible" has dropped completely from your vernacular

When a sniper scythe, shotgun gauntlets, a machine gun purse, and a grenade launcher hammer, seem like perfectly reasonable weapons, and a fun class project.

Your parents discover your secret lair along with a few hostages, bank money and a few lost dogs you were holding onto for more money..

You wake up happy and refreshed in your new College apartment to find the door blown in, the windows blown out, and half the ceiling missing all due to a gas explosion, and you realise this was the best nights sleep you've had since you graduated high school.

After an uneventful life that you frequently complained was boring, on the 'easy' trip to school for your freshman year, you were hunted by the MCO, met a villain,who either became your friend or your mortal enemy, almost died twice, met a hero who may have tried arresting you, had three super fights, possibly almost killed a person, and ended up on at least one most wanted list. Then you got to school and realized that WAS the easy part.

When your first instinct when someone muggs you is to tell them that their knife handling is sloppy.

When you go to a professional sporting match and wonder when the kids are going to finish the warm up match so that the adults will start playing.

You spend over an hour practicing your 'heroic' stance in your brightly colored neon outfit that even the blind couldn't stand to find that your alter ego had swapped classes for the 'villain' curriculum.

It's only your third day at High School, but already not only do you understand the true meaning of "Nemeses", but you have one and shit just got real.

When your first instinct on seeing a Hello Kitty ANYTHING is to practice your GTFO maneuver, and no one questions it.

New reports come in of an impending invasion from space as saucers can be seen flying your way and you run outside telling your parents that Grandma and Grandpa will soon be there as with your other relatives.

Getting "ejected" from class not only involves sliding ceiling panels and rocket powered chairs, but after you brush yourself off and knock the ringing from your ears you just shake your head in resignation, as you gather your best friends books up so nobody plays any nasty tricks on him, you warned him that popping chewing gum in class was a bad idea, after all the teacher is renown for his rants on the subject of chewing gum.

You emailed your parents a video of a "normal day at school" and they congratulated you on your movie project and how real and expensive the special effects looked.

You bought out your parents mortgage to surprise them and thank them for sending you to such a wonderful school, but you've barely entered the family home to start the summer holidays and already you are wondering if it would be something better to hold over them, at least until you got back to school.

the last thing you remember in science class was you mixing hydrogen, helium and tritium as a lark while all the other students an teacher run.

If the yearbook includes voting on things like 'Biggest Explosion', 'Most likely to destroy the world' and 'Most likely to save the world' ...

If you've memorized the entire hazmat lexicon ...

... Including the magical, metaphysical and mythos appendices ...

... Including the emergency response procedures ...

... And have put the knowledge into practice ....

If you've written a material handling data sheet as part of a class project ...

If you made a smart ass comment to the annoying little geek and the next morning you wake with several new appendages that slap you every time you say, do or even think something nasty.

A truely annoying little geek would just make it very difficult to slap an certain appendage at all.

if, the morning after an accident in magic class, you wake up in a body of a different sex, and your reaction is "Damn! I didn't wash my skirts from the LAST time!"

if Roadrunner and Loony Toons cartoons are your reference for "tame" pranks

elrodw wrote: if, the morning after an accident in magic class, you wake up in a body of a different sex, and your reaction is "Damn! I didn't wash my skirts from the LAST time!"

The day after the accident all the boys had to swap names with the girls until the effect wore off. Again!

If you never forget to duck.

If you're at a college frat party where the drunken defensive line, pissed that all the girls are fawning over you, wail on you from multiple sides, and you giggle, saying "is there a breeze in here?"

If in history class the response to 'who are you to argue,' is 'someone who was there when it happened.'

If you take the phrase 'that won't work' as a sign you are on the right track.

If you are terrified of little Asian girls but have no response to eldritch monstrosities.

If upon seeing storm clouds you run out side to make sure your lightning collector is in working order.

If The Strange Case of Doctor Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde and Frankenstein's Monster are recommended reading in your history of science class.

If you respond to screaming with a sigh and the thought of 'not again.'

If your first though upon seeing a doomsday device is 'what are those freshman up to now.'

If your response to someone robbing a bank is to foil it and capture the robbers before the cops arrive. The run away when you remember your a super villain.

If meeting up with your buddies from high school involves neutral ground, peace treaties, pardons, and at least one time paradox.

If you develop a serious nervous twitch every time you walk past a tree with a squirrel in it

If you not only know what Chlorine trifluoride is, but your chemistry teacher included proper handling procedures for it in the first year midterms.

If you go to your history class with the expectation of telling others how it really was instead of from a book, only to argue with the teacher on how they saw it.

Getting a chewing out from your parents about the unnecessary expense of having to repair the class room again, for the 3rd time that month and it was coming out of your allowance.

Needing to be a villain over the weekend so you can pay for those needed expenses.

elrodw wrote: Your workshop starts building an X-wing fighter to settle a bet with another class that it's better than a Colonial Viper.

And then you ally with them against the smartasses who shot down both of your prototypes with a Starfury, I mean, proper design for zero-G combat is cheating!

If your idea of fun involves the complete and total destruction of a condemned building you're using for parkour.

If in college you befriend all the weirdest students, because everyone else just seems boring.

if you have a drinking game for science fiction, fantasy and superhero movies. Everytime you've seen something in real life that appears on screen take a shot. If you've done it, take two.

Domoviye wrote: if you have a drinking game for science fiction, fantasy and superhero movies. Everytime you've seen something in real life that appears on screen take a shot. If you've done it, take two.

Boy, a lot of the class of 2010 who play that drinking game would get alcohol poisoning from all the shots. Especially Team Kimba or any of their friends and allies. Wonder how many shots Circe or Mrs. Carson would have to drink in such a game.

Arcanist Lupus wrote: If in college you befriend all the weirdest students, because everyone else just seems boring.

… This isn't standard procedure?

Dreamer wrote:

Domoviye wrote: if you have a drinking game for science fiction, fantasy and superhero movies. Everytime you've seen something in real life that appears on screen take a shot. If you've done it, take two.

Boy, a lot of the class of 2010 who play that drinking game would get alcohol poisoning from all the shots. Especially Team Kimba or any of their friends and allies. Wonder how many shots Circe or Mrs. Carson would have to drink in such a game.

Carson would manage to get drunk by the end of the movie,

Dreamer wrote:

Domoviye wrote: if you have a drinking game for science fiction, fantasy and superhero movies. Everytime you've seen something in real life that appears on screen take a shot. If you've done it, take two.

Boy, a lot of the class of 2010 who play that drinking game would get alcohol poisoning from all the shots. Especially Team Kimba or any of their friends and allies. Wonder how many shots Circe or Mrs. Carson would have to drink in such a game.

Well at least 4 of Team Kimba wouldn't get drunk, Billie, Jade, Nikki and Sara, Ayla would get drunk rather quickly, as the alcohol must be of the finest quality, Kayda might last a while, so long as it isn't fantasy that involves bows, or a western, though if it's Star Wars, cause Debra basically does force pushes and such, she'll be under the table, if its prequel trilogy minus PM, then those stunts will send Chou under the table, probably drinking 3 for each to survive the "romance"

your roomie suggests 'we'---"eat out" today and you get all mad, because you know she wants a In-and-out burger from cali again!
god you have to hate being a teleporter!

When your final exam consists of nothing, but a bare room containing nothing, except for an old small wrinkly balding man, and your immediate reaction is to shit yourself, because Ito and Bardue are forcing you to violate RULE 1.

your friends back home turn green and gag or scoff in disbelief when you describe last semester's sex ed class.

You walk into a convenience store at midnight and its full of bikers, druggies and zonked out people, but you turn around and leave because you just can't get past the twitchiness from spotting a cute middle school girl buying candy.

One of your friends sighs wistfully about a "normal" life and you completely blank out trying to imagine what that would be.

elrodw wrote: your friends back home turn green and gag or scoff in disbelief when you describe last semester's sex ed class.

and your sex ed class is taught by a lust demon! and her little purple book!

When you go to a comic or anime convention, and use a Geiger counter to keep track of a classmate... Whom is pretending to be effected by gravity, to blend in with the cosplayers...

On you're first day you're not sure if the thing in your room is you're roommate, a cottage pet, or a bio-devise.

When your response to your roomate saying that "they are so hungry, they could eat a horse" is "Just one horse? Good to know your not starving"

When you react to the picture your friends back home send you of their schoolmate's fashion disaster, your reaction is, "What? That doesn't look so bad."

When you get pulled over for speeding using the lame excuse you were just out for a morning jog from Nebraska to Florida and forgetting your tachometer.

When you make a mental note on every law that may protect you if self defense doesn't work when you go to help someone, and can quote them

mhalpern wrote: When you make a mental note on every law that may protect you if self defense doesn't work when you go to help someone, and can quote them

And you need to use them, frequently.
Particularly when you go to Boston.

If you refuse to guess the age of any prepubescent female, and opt to run instead.


(Worded to account for Ribbon as well as J-Team)

If your parents paid for your admission as a way to hide you from world leaders who want to use you as hostage material in trying to bring them down as they are world class supervillains, but still love you enough to have an education.

Your in a custody battle between your parents: One wanting you to follow in her footsteps and the other 'not' wanting you to follow in her footsteps.

You keep your friends in a small dome with actual working fixtures until you can figure out 'what the hell' went wrong with the shrink ray.

When the Hello Kitty animé theme song provokes a FLIGHT ptsd reaction and screams of "NO JADE, NOOOOOOOOOO!"

When your appointment to have your nails done needs a rasp file, an angle grinder and a blowtorch.

When you show your most recent science lab project to one of your Junior High teachers, and they call BATFE, hazmat, and/or the bomb squad.

When you see armed men in full NBC gear and bomb disposal robots going into the toilets and you assume they are just going to clean them.

When a government agency talks to your headmistress complaining that you had broken into their systems again only to have her admonish them for not following your instructions on how to better protect themselves.

When you play spy vs spy with your friends both sides use actual counties to break into.

When you get a frequent-user discount from ACME

if you're taken hostage by a supervillain in a robbery, and he offers to give you a note so you get an excused absence.

if you're held captive in a supervillain's lair, and you can't help giving him advice on trap design from last semester's Lair Design class.

If your mom makes you wade into a superhero/supervillain fight because she HAS TO KNOW RIGHT NOW if their kids are going to come to your birthday party on Saturday

If you're captured by a villain in a bank robbery, and you offer a serious critique of the villain's errors and mistakes

If you get captured in a hostage situation, and when she finds out where you're going to school, the villain starts asking your opinion of the design of her next supervillain costume

When both superhero's and supervillains stop fighting to ask you about certain teachers they both remember being there.

There's a momentary lull as both villains and superhero's check their schedules to verify the next family reunion.

When, after the villain goes through all the trouble of taking you hostage, and then you get them talking, and you casually drop the fact that:

1) You are a member of the 2010 graduating class at Whateley
2) You spent an inordinate amount of time in the library
3) Billie Wilson in on your speed dial
4) You made THAT phone call 35 minutes ago

a villain who has taken you hostage turns white and stammers a hasty apology as he lets you go after you casually mention being in a biodevisor class with Jobe. Yes, THAT Jobe.

if you are watching a superhero fight, and after spotting you, the hero pauses to fight to look at you and say, "And THAT is why we teach that in Basic Martial Arts!"

Your parents don't talk about the families past as each have family had been placed under a family protection plan that dates back to the early 1900's.

You find you get confused by words.

??

When "The Majors" are scouting you and it means multiple government agencies and superteams.

You just can't wake-up without drinking something that's outlawed in several countries... including this one.

You can't recall the last time taking a test didn't involve risking your life in some way.

Turning on the radio causes most females in your immediate vicinity to "get their backs up" and look at you for ruining the general mood in the room.

Parent's day might break-out into a battle that spans two-pages.

Costume Class and Home Ec both involve use of power tools.

Walking outside your dorm-room requires you to look both ways and then you still run into someone you couldn't see.

There's a collection box for unauthorized Death Rays promising no punishment and extra credit for extremely good ones.

Some doors may be sized too small for 90% of the student body to enter.

Spitting on another student could get you nabbed for using deadly force.

You go to an off-campus buffet and people look at you weird for loading down a tray like a plate.

The tunnels sometimes end-up in different places depending on the day and time you took them.

You get barred from an all-you-can-eat restaurant - hey, it's not your fault they forget to add a "terms and conditions apply disclaimer" and your appetite bankrupted them...

A "monster" arrives in town that causes everyone else to scream and run away in panic, while you casually walk up to them and cheerily announce "Hi Dave, I didn't know you were in town!"

A friend emails to say they've got to do some homework on a Norse / Egyptian / Greek / Roman deity, and your response is "They live just down the hall from me - I'll ask them!"

You've built a working RDIS (and are rather miffed that you can't do the T bit)

You have to remind yourself that The Fly isn't a documentary.

You start watching a sci-fi show on TV, start thinking about some cool gadget, then look up to find six hours have passed, the room's stripped of electronics, you've got a replica of the gadget in front of you, and a couple of rather peeved parents staring at you.

You've grown bored with monster-type horror films, because you'd have managed to make friends with / defeat the monster within the first 30 seconds of its appearance. The cast are such wimps, you see far scarier creatures each day on campus (and have made friends with several).

You're given an English assignment to write a short fantasy story, and struggle for ideas because pretty much every entity you thought was mythical last year turns out to have been factual, and you don't want to annoy any of them / their avatars.

Your parents act terrified every time you say "Oops!"

when you lose interest in all science fiction, fantasy and horror movies because your friends either say they did that, been there or are your closest friends.

When said friends can't decide on what movie to watch as each have either developed the technology or find it boring for lack of effects or offensive on how they portray both hero's and villains.

you find yourself kidnapped by villains as its the only way you can have a parents/teachers conference without raising suspicion among the superhero's.

When you react to explosions the same way Californians react to earthquakes.

When you spoil the next Super Villain "Grand Plan" by having nookie in the wash room with your bad boy ex.

When the question "do you want fries with that" causes an existential crises and mild meltdown because she's smiling, and the last time a smiling person offered you food like that there was that unfortunate incident and all those medical procedures.

Old men smiling at you cause a panicked flight or fight response.

Young girls smiling at you by-pass your higher functions and reach right back into the primal terror deep inside your psyche and you turn and run without thinking.

Your unthinking response on being hugged is a hip throw.

You can't sleep on holidays because your single parent father's cheep downtown apartment right above a fire station and across from the city's busiest police station is too quite at night.

You have more enemies then friends and acquaintances combined, and you arrived at school that way because of your mother's way with men.

When your response to movie interpretations of the Kraken and other tentical horrors is to mention that you've seen a bathroom that's scarier.

Dating is awkward because of all those 'are you sure your dad is your dad?' questions ever since your mother told you your dad was 'Captain Condom' and warned you about all your half brothers and sisters out there.

Walking down the street and not seeing lycra and spandex everywhere makes you feel unsafe.

if the EPA comes looking for you to help clean up a recent bio-hazard and its lunch time.

An afternoon snack is cleaning out the hazard waste material from failed science projects after school thus saving them money.

If your book report on mythology is about the mistakes concerning mythological creatures featured in the myth, using photos of your classmates as part of the evidence.

If you have the EPA on speed dial, and know several on a first name basis.

If after being taken hostage, the hostage taker calls the police screaming for help.

if your roommate looks like they just stepped off the set of a B monster movie, either as the monster or the incredibly attractive girl the monster eats or both.

If you've been there, done that, wrote the book, published it, and it was a scifi/fantasy/horror best seller ....

If portions of the fiction section in most libraries are filed in the non-fiction section in your library, and vice-versa ...

If your hostage taker demands the police accept money to get you off their hands, threatening suicide if they don't.

Cause you called your classmates....

mhalpern wrote: If your hostage taker demands the police accept money to get you off their hands

If the police negotiate a 1 hour head start from the kidnapper in exchange for releasing the hostage so they can leave the area and not have to report such incident to both parents and school.

You might be a Bad Seed IF:
• Your roommate complains about you practicing your ‘Evil Laughs’ while he’s trying to study.
• You know the location of every Municipal, County, State and Federal lockup- because you’ve laid in plans to escape from all of them.
• If you see a pinup of a lethally seductive, dangerously beautiful femme fatale wearing a skimpy outfit in your friend’s locker- and your reaction is: “MOM?”
• You hate to really rip up the overbuilt, overbearing Fascist buffoon in spandex because… well… he might be your father. You’re not really sure. Neither is Mom…
• Growing up, your friends got plastic ray gun toys- and you got the real thing.
• Your Junior High prom date was an android that your father built, so you’d look good.
• You swerve to hit a frog in the road, because he might be your buddy Aaron.
• You’re on a first-name basis with all the ghosts that are haunting your father.
• You intentionally pick a fight, and pursue a nemesis relationship with the biggest, strongest, and most annoyingly righteous and noble superhero-wannabe in school. Because you know that you that he’s a meathead, and you can think rings around him.
• Your mother bought you your first catsuit before your figure came in.
• 6 of the FBI’s 10 Most Wanted List came to your last birthday party
• You have the ACLU on Speed-dial
• You go down to the cellar when you hear that your parents are going out to ‘Raise some Hell’
• You call the FBI surveillance team watching your house, when you want to be reminded where you said you’d meet your girlfriend.
• You have to continually remind your parents that those are your Friends, NOT your Minions!
• You wonder whether you’d look better with the high sinister collar or without
• Your father plans an intricately planned, tightly scheduled scheme to break into- the local supermarket for eggs and butter.
• You date the nicest, most wholesome, most law-abiding boy in school, just to piss off your parents.

You might be a Bad Seed if you think you look GOOD in green and purple...

You might be a Bad Seed if the neighborhood cops come to your house first questioning you on why there's a mutated cat up in the tree. As well as asking where Lassie and Timmy are.

You might be on the Cape Squad, if the local heroes have your number blocked and a restraining order against you, ever since you tried to impress them at Christmas.

If you spent 45 minutes standing in front of the classroom spouting off your introduction in your superhero pose only to receive a C+ for failing to recite the standard monologue of introductions for your fellow teammates before leading them into battle against the enemy.

If you spent 45 minutes standing in front of the classroom spouting off your introduction in your supervillain pose to receive a B- for reciting the standard monologue of introductions for your fellow teammates before leading them into battle against the enemy because you forgot to sneer because you were to busy looking at the spandex on Suzzie Sidmores over revealing leotards.

If your most prized possession is the case full of stuffed animals (every one with their own name and fictional backstory)...
If you can't stop telling everyone how wonderful [insert anthropomorphic animal cartoon / anime here] is...
If you think everyone who doesn't like [insert anthropomorphic animal cartoon / anime here] is a big poopy head...

...you might be part of Wondercute...

(Or in 2G, Wondercute A Team / Wondercute B Team - sure, none of the original members will be there, but there's bound to be some students with a similar mindset in subsequent years, and with the expanding student roster...)

Astrodragon wrote: You might be a Bad Seed if you think you look GOOD in green and purple...

What's wrong with green and purple? Admittedly works some blues in there and you need the right shades so they won't clash but the ensemble could be quite nice.

The cutesy little flower girls at you wedding are older than you are.

You have a doomsday clock on the wall that changes based on the bad seeds reactions to their mail.

You have to stop robbing a bank because your head mistress just showed up and you don't want detention at Hawthorne again.

If you realise that plumbers and cleaners are the true superheroes.

That your teacher asks you to sign off on his parole officers sheet stating that he hasn't tried to corrupt or hire you; yet.

As an FYI, I'm collecting all of these into a single Word document for those who might want a copy when the thread gets less active. If people like this thread (and it seems so, given the creativity being exhibited) we could do other threads on "You might be a Bad Seed" or "You might be in Wondercute" or "You might be a candidate for Team Kimba" or "You might be a Supervillain / Superhero" or ....

You get the idea, I'm sure.

If on your resume you list federal government agencies as references in getting into college with pics of your devices.

If you're skilled at withholding information from the police without arousing suspicion because you've been doing it all your life to protect the secret identities of your family and friends.

If your shop teachers argue over what the best method of building a doomsday weapon is...

If you take a Winter Semester class called The Art of the Heist...

If you and your friends argue over who would win in a fight...Superman or your headmistress...

If all the bullies in your old school combined, wouldn't be able to beat up your 'nerdy' roommate...

If you have nightmares involving Hello Kitty...

If you can't stay the weekend at your best friend's house, because his dad has a new world domination scheme he's working on...

If you watch Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, and are reminded of your PE class...

If your summer job is as an intern for the Syndicate...

If the automotive industry is trying to buy out your auto shop project so that it can't be used to put them out of business...

If you've ever been asked not to return to Boston...

If one of your teachers keeps repeating the same boring story, about how back in the day, he'd defeated Madame Malicious and her monstrous mauve minions...

If your tough as nails dad, runs away in terror upon meeting your new roommate...

If your mom is jealous that you've got bigger breasts than she does...and you were born a boy...

If your science fair volcano project results in Las Angeles being evacuated...

If the movie "The Fly" was an autobiography of your Grandfather's beginning roots as a mad scientist.

If the Blob is your sisters boyfriend.

If "I was a Teenage Werewolf" was about a distant cousin.

If "Godzilla" was an experiment that failed.

If Frankenstein is really your sister after your transferred her brain.

You last chemistry project class project left a hole in the wall, your electronics project was confiscated and sent to a government research lab, everyone in your cottage is terrified of you since your room mate disappeared, buts it's because you slipped up when you went home for the weekend and told the girl next door you've know all your life where you are actually going to school that has you called to the headmaster's office.

You've gotten so used to wearing pink, decorating everything you own in Hello Kitty and singing J-Pop as you walk around you've forgotten which bully it was caused you to start doing it as a desperate attempt to get them to leave you alone.

If you've ever been asked not to return to Boston...

If Boston has a restraining order against you.

If the White House has a restraining order that you never set foot outside of Whateley; Even after graduation.

If nobody takes you seriously because nobody can remember why your so dangerous.

If Greece pays your tuition, and a bonus so you can stay all summer.

(Now we know why Greece is bankrupt.)

If your roommate speaks four languages, and one is not native to earth, the second is not native to this plane, the third is English, and the fourth is Bad English.

Your time temporal distortion device pulls someone from the 70's past named Carson and all she speaks is Jive.

When your bed is surrounded by a containment pentacle to stop you sleepwalking, and your roomie has a squirt gun of Holy Water on his bedside table.

If both the Syndicate and the Goodkind team up to keep you in class.

You carry an umbrella with you in your cottage in case a thunderstorm occurs in the hallway.

You have to complain to your roomie about leaving footprints on the ceiling. Again.

You keep a tarp over your bed as your roommate keeps dripping off the ceiling.

You set your room as a laboratory so you don't become homesick.

Your forbidden from keeping animals as pets due to P.E.T.A. laws.

Even with a thousand eyes you still need corrective glasses.

You create a replica of the Jupiter II, the Enterprise just to see which one performed better in outerspace. For the fun of it.

You look to buy the actual Death Star plans so you can build it for extra credit.

If you've built an Orgasmatron, or an Excessive Machine.

Cause I'm in the mood for a Star Wars reference:

If you want to go home and rethink your life, maybe selling deathsticks would be less crazy...

elrodw wrote: As an FYI, I'm collecting all of these into a single Word document for those who might want a copy when the thread gets less active. If people like this thread (and it seems so, given the creativity being exhibited) we could do other threads on "You might be a Bad Seed" or "You might be in Wondercute" or "You might be a candidate for Team Kimba" or "You might be a Supervillain / Superhero" or ....

You get the idea, I'm sure.

I will like that word document.. and to know the percentage that are related to Jade

You buy each years school yearbook not for all the memories, but for a quick handy reference for you future career.

You extort your fellow classmates with the promise not to publish yearbooks with both costumed and secret identities side by side.

You use the signatures of your classmates as a way to forge checks in their name once you've graduated.

Teachers take bets on which of their favorite students will be the first to go for world domination after graduation. A common bet taken each year among the staff.

There's a gap of 4 years on resumes listing your school education as you've had to sign an affidavit forbidding you from mentioning the dates, location, names of teachers and School Name to maintain its secrecy.

When you crackle with glee upon graduation knowing how many friendships you destroyed by casting a spell on all the yearbooks forcing others to honestly tell what they thought of their classmates in writing.

You're so used to friends that fly, have only casual relationships with gravity, or flat out heal instantly, a broken arm from 'a fall' seems suspicious to you.

It seems perfectly normal when getting off a train that when someone yells out your name and starts waving to duck behind the nearest cover, ready weapons and check all possible escape routes while scanning the crowd for other suspicious people.

When asked the question "What is the meaning of life the universe and everything?" you don't answer "42" but "my complete and utter satisfaction".

You wonder what's wrong with your Mum when on being accosted on a dark night in an alley by a knife wielding man, she tells you she gave them her purse and phone rather then Jujitsuing them into the next century.

Phoenix Spiritus wrote: When asked the question "What is the meaning of life the universe and everything?" you don't answer "42" but "my complete and utter satisfaction".

You know you are a bad seed when you can say it dark and menacingly with just enough bass reverb to turn the asker white.

Phoenix Spiritus wrote:

Phoenix Spiritus wrote: When asked the question "What is the meaning of life the universe and everything?" you don't answer "42" but "my complete and utter satisfaction".

You know you are a bad seed when you can say it dark and menacingly with just enough bass reverb to turn the asker white.

You know you are a Master Mind when you think "my complete and utter satisfaction", but say "42" with just the right amount of perkiness and a genuine smile with that perfect amount of giggle.

It seems natural when your best friend asks "can I borrow your chemistry notes' to wonder if he is trying to sabotage your exam studying.

It seems perfectly natural to keep two sets of notes for all your class projects, one a very hard to spot fake with deliberate inaccuracies and mistakes in it in case it is copied by other members of your class, the other in code within the first set so that nobody even suspects there is two sets of notes.

Waking up, breathing the fresh air, stretching mightily and taking a long sweeping look around to marvel at what you can see isn't a comment on the joys of life and appreciation of your current circumstances, it's a survival trait.

The correct actions on hearing a loud noise is to duck, close your eyes, hold your breath and run for the nearest unblocked exit. Identifying the source of the noise should only be considered if it keeps happening!

If after the girl of your dreams walks up, smiles at you and says "Hi", and after answering back "Pie? I'm not thinking about sex with you, my name is breasts" instead of wanting the earth to open up and swallow you, you just want to be teleported to a war zone as you know how to handle them, hell is still just theory in class, the prac isn't until next week.

While walking down a blind ally you're accosted only say, "My God Jim, how far have you fallen," before taking pity and asking if he'd be interested in being your minion like back in high school.

You never look at gorgeous woman the same way as having dated the most beautiful exemplar back in the day.

As head president of the class of 1996 you book your next reunion on the moon to keep the world save as its been designated a safe zone for both villains and hero's.

You rush out to the nearest store to buy get well cards to all the bullies that picked on you before you became a brick wanting to give it to them personally after seeking them out.

Astrodragon and I came up with a few during our weekly top-secret Gen 2 chat this afternoon:

You know your at Whateley when someone got killed last night but now hes better...

when the dialog from Monty Python about getting turned into a newt but getting better isn't just a movie line

When 'Get me a shrubbery!' means you go looking for your roommie

when your roommate tells you what the word "Ni" really means in his unearthly demonic tongue, and it's worse than you thought!

When 'your mother smells of elderberries' is accurate.

when the taunt "your father was a hamster" is closer to the truth than you want to admit publicly.

You yell at your demonic father, "He was my boyfriend not a snack!"

Your father was never used as a consultant when they made the Exorcist or Damon as the agent never made it back during negotiations.

Hollywood executives have you one speed dial as a consultant so when they make a horror movie they don't offend your family: for getting the facts wrong.

You know you're at Whateley when the Parrot's nailed to his perch and it's really a safety precaution.

When you see an office for the liaison to the Ministry of Silly Walks- for reals.

When people say 'It's just a scratch' when they're practically crippled- and they mean it

When Monty Python sketches make more sense than some of your classes

If you always have fabulous clothes of the latest fashion and style, but your closet and drawers are strangely empty.

When your never overdrawn at the bank even with zero dollars in it.

After watching Jurassic Park it dawns on you, you never did ask to get back those raptors, T-Rex's and Velociraptors you let them borrow.

Repost after crash:

If anime and comic conventions have banned you from cosplaying with anything resembling a gun, all because of that ONE time you forgot to add a safety, not like anyone got hurt, okay there was panic and momentary loss of hearing, but if they knew the reaming you got at school for your honest mistake, you would think they'd be more forgiving. right.. Now to fit that plasma thrower in that staff...

Repost after crash.

When you have three classes in one term called Body Building, taught by the Science Dept, Magick Dept, and PE

When your body building class involves visiting a graveyard.
At night.
With a shovel.

When your body building class culminates in shouts of: "IT'S ALIVE!!!! IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

When you take Home Ec for an easy credit, only to find out that the course requires a HAZMAT certification.

Repost after crash:

You let out a hideous scream at the thing in your room, "Like OMG Heather, that dress does not go with those snakes."

you arrange new lawn ornaments "We only need 5 more Heather in order to play Lawn Chess Heather."

lduke1990 wrote: When your body building class culminates in shouts of: "IT'S ALIVE!!!! IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

At which point the teacher pulls out the flamethrower, turning your creation to ash and dumping salt blessed by every major denomination onto what remains,
You get an A-.

if you get really, shaking, crying, begging, pleading, tantrum-level nervous because your advisor saw fit to put you in "Extreme Home Ec"

That secret room isn't as secret as you thought it was when your friends ask how rodent kitty was *snicker

When your roomie finds you browsing through brochures about exploring the amazon and camel-trekking in Australia for a year, and knows your down for Extreme Home Ec.

When you apply to NASA for a trip to the moon only to hear the headmistress say "That won't get you out of going to Extreme Home Ec. classes."

Arts of Magic has closed all dimensions to you.

There's a reason why your roommate call's you Leech.

When you pack a flamethrower, led apron, welding mask, leather work gloves, and lace doilies for extreme home ec.

When Extreme Home Ec gives you nightmares about Hello Kitty

mhalpern wrote: When Extreme Home Ec gives you nightmares about Hello Kitty

When your Extreme Home Ec teacher says this months theme is "Hello Kitty"

edit: Followed by a week of Barney.

When your course in Chaos Mathematics has a module called 'Real World Applications of Chaos Theory' with the prerequisites of 'Genetic Engineering', 'Paleontology', and required equipment 'A good pair of running shoes'.

When the mantra in Survival course is a hideous call of "Run away little girl. Run away."

~Archangel~ wrote: When your course in Chaos Mathematics has a module called 'Real World Applications of Chaos Theory' with the prerequisites of 'Genetic Engineering', 'Paleontology', and required equipment 'A good pair of running shoes'.

LOL!!!

I see what you did there, and I wholeheartedly approve!

NeoMagus wrote:

~Archangel~ wrote: When your course in Chaos Mathematics has a module called 'Real World Applications of Chaos Theory' with the prerequisites of 'Genetic Engineering', 'Paleontology', and required equipment 'A good pair of running shoes'.

LOL!!!

I see what you did there, and I wholeheartedly approve!

with 2 hearts and a beat of 4s

When you tell your parents your roommate is a blood sucking vampire, and it's not a bad or kinky thing.

When you tell your parents your rooming with a fairy, and its not an insult.

When you tell your parents your roomie is smoking hot, and you're not physically attracted in anyway to him or her.

When saying you're all thumbs is not just a figure of speech.

When in self defence against your Survival teacher you gather your friends together and watch the show he's always quoting, Monty Python's "The Holy Grail".

At the end of it you all look at each other in horror remembering the teacher's pet white rabbit and all the jokes he has about why it has a muzzle … suddenly they are no longer funny.

When your roommate talks about his uncle, The one eyed, one horned flying purple people eater and how he gets no royalties from the song.

When writing a letter home, you have to seriously consider telling your parents about the evil cult that tried to sacrifice your roommate. Almost getting brainwashed by the evil psychic student. Narrowly avoiding getting eaten by a demon as it was going after another student. Luckily not getting caught up in a gunfight between security and an insane cyborg. Having to buy a new bike because your old one got run over by a rogue tank. Having your homework eaten by a zombie while you were doing a field trip in Boston. Losing your familiar to a freakish werewolf in the woods. And nearly getting accused of murder, when you happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Domoviye wrote: When writing a letter home, you have to seriously consider telling your parents about the evil cult that tried to sacrifice your roommate. Almost getting brainwashed by the evil psychic student. Narrowly avoiding getting eaten by a demon as it was going after another student. Luckily not getting caught up in a gunfight between security and an insane cyborg. Having to buy a new bike because your old one got run over by a rogue tank. Having your homework eaten by a zombie while you were doing a field trip in Boston. Losing your familiar to a freakish werewolf in the woods. And nearly getting accused of murder, when you happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And that was just over the weekend.

When you hear that your siblings school doesn't have a hospital on campus capable of handling emergency surgery, or even a proper doctor you seriously question the safety of the school.

When they tell you the so-called school DOESN'T even have a security force armed with military grade weapons, you start lecturing them on how the school doesn't properly care for students and your sibling would be much safer practically anywhere else, providing detailed real life examples of what could go wrong.

When you regret telling your siblings about how great the school is only to backtrack when you find out they may be coming next semester.

When you pass by the Physics Lab and see a sign that says;

Warning Temporal Recursion experiment in progress, do not enter. Again. Again! AGAIN! AGAIN!! I MEAN IT! REALLY MEAN IT THIS TIME!

When the battle cry on the goon on the varsity hockey team is: "Let's get metaphysical!"

lduke1990 wrote: When the battle cry on the goon on the varsity hockey team is: "Let's get metaphysical!"

Looking at the US College Hockey rankings, that may actually be a battle cry for at least one of the teams.

www.uscho.com/rankings/