Question Killing Time discussion
- E. E. Nalley
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Topic Author
I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791
- elrodw
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Never give up, Never surrender! Captain Peter Quincy Taggert
- Phoenix Spiritus
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elrodw wrote: ... it's nice to see how Nyemoi is developing as a character, almost turning her back on her past life. Almost.
It might be because I've watched The Matrix too many times, but on reading that comment my immediate thought was "boy is she gonna be mindfucked if the VR really is just that good"
- DanZilla
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Good start and I'd certainly like to see where it goes...
- Kristin Darken
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Fate guard you and grant you a Light to brighten your Way.
- E. E. Nalley
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Topic Author

I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791
- E. E. Nalley
-
Topic Author
I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791
- Dreamer
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Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.
Killing TIme: A Tale of the Star Wars comments
The head of the VIPs is intimidating to say the least. Brigadier Algon Fens, the father of Nyeomi, dang, big dad. Silas Bast, Colonel Darius Persia, Lanaka Fargo, and Torm Belos, nice to be reacquainted with the group. Oh boy, knowing that Torm is her boyfriend and daddy is judging what to do with him already. At least the grilling is called off, as Algon Fens is called away on business.
Nyeomi having to go meet Darth Marr, hope her body's memories can help once again. Bwahahaha, got the broadcast of the Boonta Eve Pazaak tournament, saw who she was hanging on and what she was wearing, poor woman hearing that from her daddy.
And queue awkward silence."How did you know mother was the one for you?"

Sworn not to tell her mother, yikes. Met her mother at a tavern frequented by Academy cadets and ambitious women, oh boy. That is a lot of information for a kid to take in from their parent, shows a lot of trust for him to open up like this to Nyeomi. Interesting marriage and how it got started.
Oh, if she were still a pink-skinned human, the blush she would have would be neon red right now."Never turn down a free sample, pumpkin."
And interesting how the concept of Nyeomi started out, plus that is a very nice outfit. All those questions that need answering, wonder how many of them will get answered without further trouble arising. Interrogation of Milton Tess, intimidating him just by suggesting she will use her lightsabers on him if he lies or tries to mislead her, yikes. A disintegration beam, that is sickening weapon, no wonder it was banned.
Having to get Silas to not call Nyeomi sis while on the station as she is an only child, that could cause huge trouble if he slips up later. And verbal jabs between Nyeomi and Lanaka, oh brother. All those weapons called disintegrators, yet this weapon makes things cease to exist, how do the Hutts know it works as stated. Lanaka is going to get herself killed if she doesn't drop the attitude towards Nyeomi and quick. Yikes, Silas and Darius guns to Nyeomi's back and Darius doesn't have a stun setting, tense.
Silas aka Seith is really letting the both of them have it, end the petty shit or else, since they are on his ship. Don't push Silas or he will unleash his rage on you, dang, this was a close one. And Seith pointing out how being here has changed them, Laura going to her room clearly upset. And having to point out Laura is being catty because she is jealous of Nyeomi, Nyeomi may be a woman now but can still be a little dense in that area it seems. 8 months to a year, plus train an apprentice, lots of work ahead. And nice teasing of Silas.
News sources not clear if the Sith Emperor is alive or not, war really messes up information sources. Dang, no wonder Darth Malgus seems so much better, Darth Vitiate is a madman, or is that was. Nice information on the difference between the Jedi and SIth in this era. Tall order for her potential apprentice from the start. Getting that kid to think for himself, good, maybe he will show some potential in the future. Interesting mix of remaining potentials, especially the Cathar female.
Whelp, the human girl driven by hatred is out, the Mirialan shows intelligence with his answer. And the Cathar girl's answer to the question is perfect, love, plus how she explains. Tari Mur of Clan Aso, she is the perfect apprentice for her. Too bad Bekamp Akee couldn't be her apprentice as well, at least he is getting help from Nyeomi in finding an appropriate master.
And the awkward has reached critical mass with this dinner with her parents and significant other, duck and cover!
Rooming across the hall from Darius, good idea, Tari will need someone watching over her. Interesting donut-shaped roll, wonder what it is made of to get that color and what it taste like. Heading to Barkhesh from the sounds of it, quaint planet from the description. Tonfa type light saber hilts, interesting. Talking about Tari like that, calling her a child and thinking she isn't in hearing range, never underestimate the hearing of cat or dog-like aliens.
Please says that isn't in the style of the wolves in the dream sequences involving Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd dressed as a woman.sotto voce, "How old is she?"

Talking about the principal composer John Williams of Star Wars music, everything in the movies is just so epic feeling. All those lessons in the Force, plus the huge question, about her controlling the Force or does the Force control her. Programming a drone to tag her out if she can't reach the goal before it does, interesting lesson. And Torm showing up right then to make out, they are like a couple of teens sometimes. And even more of a lesson than I thought, how she gets around the drone is what interest Nyeomi.
And talk of how the meeting with the parents went, yeah, that is something most parents have a hard time accepting as their kids grow up. Bwahahaha! She hired Lanaka as a bounty hunter for 1 credit to take out the obstacle of her test, Tari knows how to play the system. Pleased with the deviousness of her apprentice, handful might be an understatement for Tari.
Yikes, just the thought of doing the same dance routine backwards and in hells, she is right about having the hard role in dancing now. Interesting flavor for a cake, citrus undertones. And a secondhand store, yeah, perfect cover for black-market and banned stuff. Hehe, blue milk to try, now there is something unique. Talking about people obsessed with making a show about how jaded with life they are, when Nyeomi feels a tremor in the Force. Brown robe and hood, great, a Jedi who sees all Sith as pure evil, at least how Nyeomi is reacting he is trouble.
Threatening her to leave just because she is a Sith, this Jedi is a thug from the way he acts. Working for those with the warehouse of banned stuff, this Jedi doesn't seem to care about how he simply mind controls people to get his way. Master Marek Targon, for some reason I think I've heard that name before. Nice start to the fight by Nyeomi, some back and forth and she is showing off and he knows it.
Great, a fanatic. Force push him away after breaking his nose and escaping on a passing cargo speeder, priceless."Your petty mind games won't shake my belief in what I'm doing for the Republic!" he shouted at me. "We will cleanse the galaxy of your evil!"
Shaking in fear of her life for a good 20 minutes, surprised she recovered that quickly after that fight. Facing someone that enraged and not thinking clearly is terrifying to most people. Contacting Silas and telling him about the fight against the Jedi Master, not having to tell them and the Jedi being the key to all this, what is she up to.
Ashla and Bogan, ancient names for the Light and Dark sides of the Force, interesting. Foretold she would come to this temple, leaving her weapons behind because the old, blind monk will protect her, if he didn't have the power of the Force I would be concerned. Explaining the Force using water, very interesting. And him baking cookies, wonder what they taste like. [Starting to think I should eat more before reading stories] Wise master, plus tea and cookies, score!
If only the Sith of old survived, focusing on positive emotions, maybe things would be different in the Star Wars universe. Interesting, the Force is neither good nor evil, it is the wielder and their actions which determine that.
Master Targon attacked you because he has given in to pride of his nation and patriotism is a cloak that can cover many evils if misused.
Hehe, teasing between them about him cementing himself as a wise, old mystic in her mind, anything more would be showing off.
Dang, he knows. Terrifying weapon for world after world to fall to it."Oh course you would," he countered as he withdrew the straw and took a sip. "It is how you came to be here, in this galaxy and in this time and place wearing the body you wear now."
And instructions on how to make the tea, talk about a gift. What the! The way he is talking, the Sith and designer of the weapon were displaced into the Earth where our group came from, that is just...whoa. A gate between Earth and the Star Wars universe of this era, extremely bad. Master Vidda has more guests, Marek Targon amongst them and dares to steal a blaster and aim it at her while a guest in the temple, no honor!
Disarmed and actually apologizes to Master Arridan and Nyeomi for his actions. Governor Aisin and Colonel Antilles, Nyeomi having to give them bad news about them being betrayed by their own manager, Milton Tess. Having to defend the disintegration beam, at least they have Darius and her friends and apprentice to help.
Oh boy, Torm upset she didn't contact him to tell she was safe as soon as possible. Torm having to fly the Aces and Eights with command of one wing of fighters, upset because he fears losing her probably. And yup, arguing because he is afraid of losing her, even turning into make up sex. Dang, doesn't wish to live without her, they both have it bad. Wanting all that with him, a life together, and making him swear he won't take any risk. And how he ends all this, Torm knows how to talk to his lady.
Pills to be constipated in long flights, yikes. Tari going with her, saw that coming, too stubborn a girl not to. Impressive fighter, hate to imagine what it could do on Earth. And her squadron, with the exception of Tari, is a bunch of convicts, any who survive get a full pardon after the battle. Well, if any of them step out of line, they will learn quickly it is a bad idea. Dang, only enough time for intro and warnings to the convicts before they have to take off.
Good, all of the squadron are behaving, that might save their hides. A Mandalorian dreadnought, yikes! Take out the shield generator orbs and go after the center main engine bell, this is going to be brutal. Ouch, missiles taken out too soon, setback but they can recover. And they recovered epically! And took out the Interdictor-Class as well, very nice. Okay, I want to know what the chill Nyeomi and Tari both felt is about, just when it look like the fight was as good as won.
A concealed elevator in the shop, curiouser and curiouser. Targon double-crossed them! Trying to steal the disintegrator beam with another man, talk about a fallen Jedi. Figures, he is a Sith who works for Darth Vitiate, wanting to give him another universe to destroy so he can be immortal and they can rule this one, ugh. And he knows about Nyeomi's true past, uh oh.
Having Tari get guardians from the Temple of Whills for help, great idea, just hope she can hold out long enough. Changing to another stance, interesting to watch the differences. Nyeomi kills the scientist Targon needs the help of, yet he brags he has all the knowledge of a Sith Inquisitor and a Jedi Master, oh brother. 40 years of whispering the truth of their world to film makers, book writers, and game developers all for this insane plan. And he is losing it just from Nyeomi's simple taunts.
And of course right then Tari, Darius, and a dozen Republic troopers would show up, distracting her. Targon takes advantage of it, and attacked Tari, nooo! She better not die, not so soon, that isn't right."You fool!" I shouted back. "I play at nothing and I am a Sith, the Sith Lord you and your psychotic wife made! The Earthling is only a treasured memory! You face Darth Nyeomi Fens, Lord of the Sith and faithful servant of the Revanite Emperor, Darth Malgus! And I will kill you!"
Ooo, Nyeomi in mama bear mode, now that is scary. Yikes, lops of a hand, then slams into a wall and pierces him with a sword, brutal. Never make a Sith or Jedi go into mama bear mode. Ah good, Tari burned but breathing, with the bacta tank she will recover quickly. Destroyed their only chance at going home, but also protected Earth from a mad Sith and his minions.
Good, Tari without any disfigurement, she is too cute for that. And Nyeomi wondering how the others would react to finding out she trapped them in this universe. Darth Vannacen [D'oh, just finally got that one] showing up as a Force ghost to communicate with her, saying she is exactly where the Force needed her to be. Talking to Edward and saying she is now who she was always meant to be. Live for what is, good advice, I like her. A mission to lead the Sith back to embracing of positive emotions and to give up the quick and easy dependence on hate and fear, dang, greats works still ahead indeed.
And that parade with them leading to the Temple of the Whills is the perfect end to the story. This story was epic from start to finish, how everyone changed with time and adapted to their new lives and identities, especially Nyeomi. Showing the other side of the Sith, that they weren't always evil, driven by hatred and anger, was interesting to read and I hope she succeeds in her mission. It sure would change how the universe is in the original trilogy movies. And finding out how they came to be there, all part of an evil plot by servants of a mad Sith, was a great reveal. I hope this isn't the last we will see of the crew of the Aces and Eights, it has been fun following along on their first major adventure.
Thank You for story comments appreciated and help me know me they are being read and liked.

- E. E. Nalley
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Topic Author

I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791
- Dreamer
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Ooo goodie, with a title like that it sounds like it is going to be a fun read.E. E. Nalley wrote: It will no doubt please you to hear, then that The Sith Civil War, Nyeomi's next adventure already 12K words...
Thank You for story comments appreciated and help me know me they are being read and liked.

- elrodw
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Never give up, Never surrender! Captain Peter Quincy Taggert
- joreymay
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Is there some precursor story (or game, or series) that the reader assumed to be familiar with? If so, a note in the story description or at the beginning would be helpful. I am sure that the story is much more enjoyable for those with the appropriate background.
- E. E. Nalley
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Topic Author
I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791
- Kristin Darken
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That is the 'state' of imbalance that Anakin eventually balances (supposedly), by killing the masses of Jedi...
There is, of course, lore in the game (and in books) that goes back even further... to days when the Jedi were not exclusive to Light and Sith to Dark... and, as E.E. shows, when the Sith code was interpreted differently. It's a very long and very complex history.

Fate guard you and grant you a Light to brighten your Way.