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Question Silence Is Deafening

5 years 1 month ago - 5 years 1 month ago #1 by Efindumb
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    • Story is cancelled and won't be posted here.
    Last Edit: 5 years 1 month ago by Efindumb.
    5 years 1 month ago - 5 years 1 month ago #2 by Efindumb
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    • Story is cancelled and won't be posted here.
    Last Edit: 5 years 1 month ago by Efindumb.
    5 years 1 month ago #3 by lighttech
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    • greats stuff!

    keep going on this one
    Part of the WA Drow clan/ collective
    Author of Vantier and Shadowsblade on Bigcloset
    5 years 1 month ago - 5 years 1 month ago #4 by null0trooper
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    • Efindumb wrote: This is what I wanted for the start but I don't know if it's working so far. I don't want it to be an info-dump but I wanted to build-up things a bit...


    Arranging the events this way, the kid's mother ends up explaining to him what happened to him, even though he was there visiting the museum by himself. You're right to see it coming out as an info dump, when you know you have a story to tell.

    I think you'd be better off starting earlier in the day, or even earlier that week, so that the circumstances are described as they happen. In other words, bring in the characters and lay out the scenes in text before you use their features. Give them enough lead time to arrive where you want them!
    Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.

    WhatIF Stories: Buy the Book

    Discussion Thread
    Last Edit: 5 years 1 month ago by null0trooper. Reason: Not a good question to ask.
    5 years 1 month ago #5 by Efindumb
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    • null0trooper wrote:

    Efindumb wrote: This is what I wanted for the start but I don't know if it's working so far. I don't want it to be an info-dump but I wanted to build-up things a bit...


    Arranging the events this way, the kid's mother ends up explaining to him what happened to him, even though he was there visiting the museum by himself. You're right to see it coming out as an info dump, when you know you have a story to tell.

    I think you'd be better off starting earlier in the day, or even earlier that week, so that the circumstances are described as they happen. In other words, bring in the characters and lay out the scenes in text before you use their features. Give them enough lead time to arrive where you want them!


    I hadn't considered how they could have gotten the information, how she could have known so much so soon without developing her a little before the incident. Her job explains how she could get things done in a way that protects him, but it's not mentioned. Nor is her family's connections. Nor is how well documented the incident is to the point of being used as base material for a sim exercise at school.
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