Question A Noodle Incident

Hi,

I'm mostly using this story as a "test the system" story for me to learn the new site, but since I've already gotten PMs for it it thought I'd open a thread for discussion instead, as a new author I need all the feedback and help I can get, so be cruel, rip it to pieces, let's see if we can together make it better

~wiping tears of laughter from my eyes~

oooooouuuuccccchhhhhhh my tummy is sore from laughing so hard.


just one small ability flaw, Jade needs to make physical contact to cast into something, how did she cast into the noodle?

Yeah, I noticed it myself.

I need to find a crafty, secretive and awesome way for that to happen, this is Jade after all.

And once I work that out, then it gets difficult. I need to write it into the story in a way that doesn't totally foreshadow the ending.

Ohh, inspiration!

Instead of Hank picking up from his plate, he can pick it up from the table after it falls from when Jade was using it to dance above their heads!

Yes!

Mwahahaha!

I have awesomeness in my hands!! Tremble before me because I am …

<cough> sorry. um, I'll um, be over there. Yeah.

Quickly throws a custard pie in Phoenix's face.

Have at me, yarg.

Everyone knows pies have a soothing effect on people.

Ib12us wrote: Quickly throws a custard pie in Phoenix's face.

Have at me, yarg.

Everyone knows pies have a soothing effect on people.

Well, only if they're Calming Pies .

Never, ever, ever suggest something can't be dangerous with Jade around. She will find a way to prove you wrong, every freaking time. Piece of lint, look how it goes into your eye and stays there no matter what you do. Dust bunny, cause it to explode while up your nose causing a sneezing fit. With her power anything you can see can become a weapon, not always deadly but definitely effective. And great part with everyone in the Crystal Hall yelling at Jade after that stunt.

Just remember with every great power comes a way to disprove how great it is.

Updated version now posted (with a couple of my other Jade Micro-Scenes) to the Micro-Scenes thread
whateleyacademy.net/index.php/forum/the-...-micro-scenes-thread

Need to lock this thread so others won't make unnecessary comments here.

Phoenix S., I wanted to say your Lancer canon story was great but "A Noodle Incident" is totally awesome, and not just because it was fun to read, especially for the many people who have been starved for Jadecentric material. The big reason your story was so awesome is it demonstrated a clever use of her power that really makes Jade a fearsome powerhouse.

Importantly it showed the funny and zanily near-crazy side of Jade which should make everyone (and not just that UV Werewolf character) respect her and hesitate to mess with her. . It also showed that you really get how Jade's power works and are very intelligent and inventive in coming up with uses for it.

And more importantly, it shows how you really love Jade and Team Kimba.

What a great vignette! In the wake of the Lancer tale it really makes me want to look for your name in the fan fiction authorship list as well as, I hope I hope, more canon material someday.

Thank you and congratulations and sorry about this one-sided praise. I just couldn't find anything wrong with "A Noodle Incident".

Hi Horrid,

Thank you for the effusive praise, in case you haven't found them there is a couple more Jade centric stories from me in the Micro-scense section, an updated Noodle incident is on the first page, and two others start the second page .

Oh, there are also two more Jade micro-scenes at the end of thread, one by Valentine and another by me

As for FanFiction, believe it or not, bar the Micro-Scenes I drop around the place (probably too frequently) I haven't actually published anything, To Sleep, Perchance to Dream was my first (which probably gives you an idea of the horror Elrod got delivered to him that he polished so extraordinary well and got published). I have a few ideas for further Whateley stories, and am currently attempting to get them to a stage I can post them to the FanFiction section.

There should be a followup to this where Ayla chastises Jade. Not for nearly suffocating Hank, but for doing so in front of the whole school. Does she think no one noticed Jade can just spaghetti into a choking device capable of taking out Hank? Very, very foolish.

That is a great idea.

Guys, Jade is constantly being chastised about the Noddle Incident all through the canon stories