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Question Glyph 4: Putting Pen to Paper

3 years 10 months ago #1 by DanZilla
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  • A new Gen 2 story by Morpheus... please leave your comments below.
    3 years 10 months ago #2 by Dreamer
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  • SPOILER ALERT
    Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.

    Glyph 4: Putting Pen to Paper part 1 comments
    Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]

    Thank You for story comments appreciated and help me know me they are being read and liked. :-) Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
    3 years 10 months ago #3 by Valentine
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  • Good to see that Janine is learning that she can be useful. Better to see that Bianca isn't taking Janine or her powers as mostly useless. I wonder if Janine has thought about picking locks.

    I wonder if Scorn is going to be that stupid.

    I don't think the secret admirer is who Morgana thinks it is. BTW, I would have dumped the chocolates too. And a nice mention of real Chicago Pizza.

    Unfortunately Bianca is kind of stuck with a color scheme, although on second thought at Whateley she could and should do something different, while making a white outfit for when she graduates.

    Don't Drick and Drive.
    3 years 10 months ago #4 by mhalpern
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  • The spy kids are well intentioned, but like many kids and teens, they are overly susceptible to confirmation bias. They aren't even studying the relevant history, mob bosses, and figureheads thereof, at least the successful ones rarely if ever get their hands dirty, that's why they are able to stay in power, because they don't do anything illegal that can be traced to them. Even if Glyph was more than just a figurehead at this point, they wouldn't find anything by watching her, because she isn't even interacting with any of the Family's muscle. More often than not when a mob boss is taken down its because of something they are indirectly related to or because they were caught with lesser crimes, like tax evasion (Al Capone for example).

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    3 years 10 months ago #5 by cprime
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  • A couple passing thoughts on part 1.

    Based on Glyph 3, Part 3, I think Glyph's admirer is none other than Shades, and the method of delivery fits with his powers. And as Beatdown suspects in their last scene in that chapter, I could see it backfiring badly. Though I am starting to wonder if Bianca's self-proclaimed personal assistant might not have a crush on her. Which could make things a bit awkward when it comes time to produce the next white lady.

    As far as Crysis's plans for the shopping trip are concerned, I could see Scorn networking with the mobsters in Berlin that Jimmy tangled with on his last trip into town. Seems like the outing just got more exciting.

    Is your muse looking for inspiration? Send them to Parkerville! Welcome to Parkerville is the latest edition in my series of writing prompts.
    3 years 10 months ago #6 by null0trooper
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  • cprime wrote: Though I am starting to wonder if Bianca's self-proclaimed personal assistant might not have a crush on her. Which could make things a bit awkward when it comes time to produce the next white lady.


    Assuming that they are still together after Bianca graduates and has consolidated her position sufficiently to risk a pregnancy, the White Lady surely will be able to afford a sperm donor.


    cprime wrote: I could see Scorn networking with the mobsters in Berlin that Jimmy tangled with on his last trip into town. Seems like the outing just got more exciting.


    That was Vic, not Jimmy.

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    3 years 10 months ago #7 by Astrodragon
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  • Why are people assuming a quiet shopping trip to Berlin is going to end in trouble??

    I love watching their innocent little faces smiling happily as they trip gaily down the garden path, before finding the pit with the rusty spikes.
    3 years 10 months ago #8 by reno
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  • Astrodragon wrote: Why are people assuming a quiet shopping trip to Berlin is going to end in trouble??


    prior occurences ?:evil:
    3 years 10 months ago #9 by Cryptic
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  • The Squirrels are damn lucky their little break in attempt didn't trigger something. That we know of.

    And really dropping a rose in her food, NOT romantic. Right up there with 'Ring where someone could choke on it.'

    I am a caffeine heathen; I prefer the waters of the mountain over the juice of the bean. Keep the Dews coming and no one will be hurt.
    3 years 10 months ago #10 by Valentine
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  • Bianca missed a step. She should have left the original latch in place and had it trigger a dye spray or otherwise let her know that her place isn't as secret as she hopes. At least she replaced the old door with a thick wall.

    Don't Drick and Drive.
    3 years 10 months ago #11 by Acrii
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  • null0trooper wrote:
    Assuming that they are still together after Bianca graduates and has consolidated her position sufficiently to risk a pregnancy, the White Lady surely will be able to afford a sperm donor.


    I'd assume, if she is still interested in women (I don't think it's been made clear yet either way), it is possible to make a genetically viable fetus from two female donors, and then one or the other could carry it to term.
    3 years 10 months ago #12 by Sir Lee
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  • You assume correctly. Even in our world, there's serious research on that topic that is starting to show promising results...

    www.inverse.com/article/49792-can-two-ma...-females-make-babies

    In the Whateley universe, genetic manipulations is much more advanced, so it is quite reasonable to assume that it would be an available option by the time Bianca decides to have an heir. It might even be already available "now" (meaning 2016 time frame).

    Don't call me "Shirley." You will surely make me surly.
    3 years 10 months ago #13 by Commander_Knight35
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  • And it would guarantee a female heir for the white lady power, since using that method would always result in a female child. No chance of an 'oh my we don't have a female to inherit the power' or another male heir ending being turned female by the White Lady power.
    3 years 9 months ago #14 by DanZilla
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  • Part 2 is now available... please read and comment.
    3 years 9 months ago #15 by Dreamer
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  • SPOILER ALERT
    Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.

    Glyph 4: Putting Pen to Paper part 2 comments
    Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]

    Thank You for story comments appreciated and help me know me they are being read and liked. :-) Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
    3 years 9 months ago #16 by Valentine
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  • Just another peaceful trip to Berlin.

    Why do I get the feeling that Eldritch likes Cherry Bomb?

    And it's probably good that Cherry Bomb and Jade weren't classmates.

    So is what Janine has for Bianca, puppy luv or something more serious.

    Do the various criminal organizations just not tell everyone to leave the students alone and stay out of Berlin and the surrounding area? I can understand the ones Jade took down, they probably needed instructions for breathing. The group that attacked Shenanigans wouldn't have had any connections to find out, but Hardcore seems to have some sort of villain connection and should know not to attack students, the same with Scorn and Crysis' father.

    Ooooh, Shades and Beatdown can go after Crysis when they find out he placed a hit on Bianca.

    Now we just need someone in a black costume with a cape running around trying to dispose of one Cherry Bomb's bombs. Because some days you just cant get rid of a bomb!

    Don't Drick and Drive.
    3 years 9 months ago #17 by null0trooper
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  • Dreamer wrote: *hits head on desk* Shades just won't give up. And now hitting on her, no, not Shades! Why did her secret admirer have to be this doof?


    Would you believe: the Dunning–Kruger effect?


    Dreamer wrote: Crysis, once the staff learns of your information someone who wishes a classmate dead of her leaving the campus you are toast.


    The key is to succeed and not get caught.


    Dreamer wrote:

    “Okay, girls,” Cherry told us. “Whateley students have a long and proud tradition of getting into trouble in Berlin…”

    “I think you’re supposed to discourage the trouble part,” Laura pointed out.

    “Fine,” Cherry responded with an exaggerated roll of her eyes. “Behave. Don’t get in trouble. Yada yada yada…”


    Hm. I need to send one or two of my characters to Berlin.


    Dreamer wrote: Hired assassins, Scorn is too cowardly to send even his own men to take out Bianca. No one better die or these creeps are all toast, as is Scorn, Crysis, Crysis's dad, and everyone else involved in this attack.


    Something, something, mice and men... Complexity is not your friend when it comes to mission-critical plans.


    Dreamer wrote: Bianca has the right idea, jackets have so many uses for superheroes.


    Like pockets to hold your house keys? Maybe a few pet rocks...

    Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.

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    3 years 9 months ago #18 by null0trooper
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  • Valentine wrote: Do the various criminal organizations just not tell everyone to leave the students alone and stay out of Berlin and the surrounding area? I can understand the ones Jade took down, they probably needed instructions for breathing. The group that attacked Shenanigans wouldn't have had any connections to find out, but Hardcore seems to have some sort of villain connection and should know not to attack students, the same with Scorn and Crysis' father.


    I'm guessing that Hardcore's "do not compete" notice filed with the Syndicate only mentioned knocking over the jewelry store. If it had mentioned kidnapping or killing a Whateley student or staff member (or maybe anyone that close to the school), someone might have suggested - strictly as a concerned citizen - reconsiderating his current life choices.

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    3 years 9 months ago #19 by Astrodragon
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  • [/quote] Please say Cherry is in counseling to help her learn to control her love of blowing things up.[/spoiler][/quote]

    "Why didn't she get councelling about blowing things up?"
    "She did."
    "She did? Who was her councellor?"
    "The Imp."

    I love watching their innocent little faces smiling happily as they trip gaily down the garden path, before finding the pit with the rusty spikes.
    3 years 8 months ago #20 by DanZilla
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  • Part 3 is available.
    3 years 8 months ago #21 by Naldru
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  • Well, I think we all know who Imp refers to as Chickenhawk
    3 years 8 months ago #22 by Valentine
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  • It's a bit of karma that they go to Berlin and run into a mischief maker. :whistle:

    What a creep, going to kill someone and not even knowing or caring who it is.

    I hope Bianca takes these lessons to heart. Never blow your wad without a backup plan. Never get dependent upon a single idea. Always hold on to your purchases. Crayola for the win. Oh, cardio, cardio, cardio.

    Don't Drick and Drive.
    3 years 8 months ago - 3 years 8 months ago #23 by Dreamer
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  • SPOILER ALERT
    Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.

    Glyph 4: Putting Pen to Paper part 3 comments
    Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]

    Thank You for story comments appreciated and help me know me they are being read and liked. :-) Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
    Last Edit: 3 years 8 months ago by Dreamer.
    3 years 8 months ago #24 by Court
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  • My one problem with this story is that the bad guys seem to have attended the Imperial Stormtrooper Shooting Academy. There were so many shots fired that some of them should have hit.
    3 years 8 months ago #25 by Astrodragon
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  • There were only a couple facing Bianca.
    The rest were chasing around after Morgana and Laura.
    You'll find out what hapenned there later, including the number of successful hits... :P

    I love watching their innocent little faces smiling happily as they trip gaily down the garden path, before finding the pit with the rusty spikes.
    3 years 8 months ago #26 by Valentine
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  • Court wrote: My one problem with this story is that the bad guys seem to have attended the Imperial Stormtrooper Shooting Academy. There were so many shots fired that some of them should have hit.


    Some of them did. Not against Bianca and Jannine, but others not dodging were hit and killed. You might want to check out how many shots actually miss when fired in a stressful situation, even when fired by trained shooters.

    Dreamer, did half your comments get eaten?

    Don't Drick and Drive.
    3 years 8 months ago #27 by Sir Lee
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  • Hmmm... Morgana is a Dragon, aligned with Fire. I don't think energy weapons would do much against her. And in dragon-form, she should be pretty well armored too. I can see the scene...

    <goon shoots and hits>
    "HEY, YOU BURNED MY SLEEVE! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COST? AND... MY BAGS! YOU TOTALED MY NEW STUFF!"
    <Oh crap! Angry teen girl. Angry teen girl who lost her purchases. Angry teen girl who lost her purchases and is TURNING INTO A F*CKIN DRAGON!>

    Don't call me "Shirley." You will surely make me surly.
    3 years 8 months ago #28 by null0trooper
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  • Valentine wrote: Dreamer, did half your comments get eaten?


    It does look like it.

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    3 years 8 months ago #29 by Astrodragon
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  • Sir Lee wrote: Hmmm... Morgana is a Dragon, aligned with Fire. I don't think energy weapons would do much against her. And in dragon-form, she should be pretty well armored too. I can see the scene...

    <goon shoots and hits>
    "HEY, YOU BURNED MY SLEEVE! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COST? AND... MY BAGS! YOU TOTALED MY NEW STUFF!"
    <Oh crap! Angry teen girl. Angry teen girl who lost her purchases. Angry teen girl who lost her purchases and is TURNING INTO A F*CKIN DRAGON!>


    Its rather more complicated than that.
    Morgana is effectively immune to fire. So she'd just laugh at a flamethrower.
    But energy weapons tend to be more than just energetic molecules. A plasma weapon (as the good were using) caused heat, but there are also electrical and e/m effects from the blast, which do affect her.
    So, broadly, a plasma does hurt her, but a lot less than it would hurt someone who isnt fireproof

    I love watching their innocent little faces smiling happily as they trip gaily down the garden path, before finding the pit with the rusty spikes.
    3 years 8 months ago #30 by Astrodragon
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  • null0trooper wrote:

    Valentine wrote: Dreamer, did half your comments get eaten?


    It does look like it.


    Gives Dan a stern look.

    I love watching their innocent little faces smiling happily as they trip gaily down the garden path, before finding the pit with the rusty spikes.
    3 years 8 months ago #31 by mhalpern
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  • Astrodragon wrote: There were only a couple facing Bianca.
    The rest were chasing around after Morgana and Laura.
    You'll find out what hapenned there later, including the number of successful hits... :P



    was the man they met there a Mangler? or otherwise manipulating their aim?

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    3 years 8 months ago #32 by Dreamer
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  • Valentine wrote:

    Court wrote: Dreamer, did half your comments get eaten?

    Ack, I didn't even notice until you mentioned it. I copy/paste from an RTF file to Grammarly to edit before posting here, somehow when I was copying the edited text it only got part of it. Fixed now, thanks for you alerting me to this.


    Thank You for story comments appreciated and help me know me they are being read and liked. :-) Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
    3 years 8 months ago #33 by Valentine
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  • Bianca and Janine shouldn't get any detention. Consider what they did. Supervillains attacked, and they ran. No Kimbaesque go fight the villains.
    Bad guys caught up to them, they defended themselves, and then ran some more.
    They wanted to go find their missing friends, but obeyed Cherry and continued to return to the bus.
    Again caught by the villain, they defended themselves and then left the scene when told to.

    I don't see anything they did that should get them in trouble.

    Now Laura and Morgana probably broke all sorts of rules during their escape.

    Don't Drick and Drive.
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