Question The Editorial Whee! (Instructive humor)

This is transported and slightly modified from a post at BC/TS from ages ago.

Some of you have heard/read my exhortations on homophones and the fact that Word's spell checker won't pick up on homophone errors. I just happened across this little gem, which illustrates the problem perfectly.

An Ode to the Spelling Chequer

Prays the Lord for the spelling chequer

That came with our pea see!

Mecca mistake and it puts you rite

Its so easy to ewes, you sea.

I never used to no, was it e before eye?

(Four sometimes its eye before e.)

But now I've discovered the quay to success

It's as simple as won, too, free!

Sew watt if you lose a letter or two,

The whirled won't come two an end!

Can't you sea? It's as plane as the knows on yore face

S. Chequer's my very best friend

I've always had trubble with letters that double

"Is it one or to S's?" I'd wine

But now, as I've tolled you this chequer is grate

And its hi thyme you got won, like mine.

–Janet E. Byford

There may be some of you who feel that I should pay dearly for inflicting this upon you. In which case, let me assure you that the Czech is in the male!

Amelia

I don't know when Janet's version was penned, but a very similar poem (usually unattributed) has done the rounds on the 'net for years. The first two lines lull you into a false sense of security, before the homophone count starts piling up rapidly. This version (excerpted, available in full at this link ) was penned by a chap called Dr. Jerrold Zar way back in 1992...

Candidate for a Pullet Surprise

I have a spelling checker.
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished inn it's weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.

Similarly, on the topic of spelling, you may have encountered a meme claiming that researchers at Cambridge University had discovered that as long as the first and last letters of a word were in the correct place, all the rest could be muddled up and still be perfectly comprehensible. Interestingly, there has been research into letter randomisation in the middle of words - but not by Cambridge University (UK). A chap who actually works in the Cognition and Brain Sciences Unit there has written an informal analysis of the science behind the meme, if anyone's interested...

Short summary, the human mind is an amazing pattern recognition machine, we don't "read", we pattern match words and sentences to previous experience.

Uh, sure, whatusaid, I tink.

Translate my sentence

I slipeld jlely on my berad.

So what does it say, and are you sure?

I spilled jelly on my beard.

Spilled caused me problems, I was thinking Slipped at first.

Are you positive of that?

I spilled jelly on my bread.

tub you elft tbuere in royu iarh.