Question Not so new, and not arriving.

Okay so I would guess that you are confused, if not by the fact that you know me then by the fact that someone who is ranked 'expert' is posting in the new arrivals section. The answer to that question is I felt that this was the best place to put this. No other part of the forum felt right.

Although I have not newly arrived I am delivering new information about my person.

I am gender fluid. As some of you may have guessed that from the topic I started yesterday.

For those that don't know the term, go check the afore mentioned topic . It will hopefully be helpful in alleviating any misunderstandings.

Some of you may be questioning why I didn't come out sooner. Like when I joined the community literal years ago. The answer: I didn't know.

I could go on a rant about how this site helped me on a journey of self discovery. But it didn't. For two reasons 1) there was no journey, there was literally a night where my subconscious decided subtlety wasn't working so a baseball bat to the head was the other solution. (Admittedly with the way it did that I thought I was trans, but after more research, soul searching, and a little counselling I settle on gender fluid.) And 2) because once I figured it out I was too terrified to say anything to anyone here. [sarcasm]Paranoia's great isn't it[/sarcasm]

Like asexuality (which oddly enough I figured out after I knew I was gender fluid but told everyone before this) there are a few obvious cases where I should have noticed.

• The immense disappointment I felt whenever my parents told me "don't wear that it looks girly." Not I specify 'wear,' this is because my parents didn't bother to correct feminine behaviour, just accessories. Heck they almost let me go to school in the girls uniform (sole difference is a skirt and the ties are optional), in high school. Something I always thought/talked about but never got around to doing.
• The mild announce/disappointment when my parents 'reassured' me saying I didn't look like a girl.
• The fact that I've had dreams about being a girl since I was in high school.
  
• The fact that my gender identity will shift to that of a particularly well written character if I am engrossed in a book. Not the only thing that happens but any other changes are hard for me to track. Except that time I forgot I could talk. Yes that really happened, there was a mute main character.

Thanks for sharing (*⌒◡⌒*)

Welcome to the forums, and thanks for sharing. ^^ I understand it might be scary to come out, but you're fine. :3 It takes more courage than some might admit, and I doubt you're the only one, but we understand, at least.

And thank you for sharing your experience on the matter. It does shed a bit of light for some of us.

Thank you for the support.

Admittedly not the people who I expected to comment on this, but hey I disappear for months on end and have a weird memory issues so maybe I'm not as close to some people as I thought.

Interesting fact I forgot to mention: my counsellor said that the stories I write are a form of external expression. I have no way to extrapolate that so do with it what you will.

My stories are also therapeutic for me. That and I enjoy hearing people say "good job" So I understand completely why you find a need to write to express your feelings.

Wouldn't it be a great world where one does not have to worry about what others may say when you confess your differences

I've always been of the mind that as long as what you do, does not cause harm to other, then by all means do it with a smile.

I confess, I did have to go look up the definition of Gender Fluidity. But after reading it, I was left a bit confused and curious. What or how many feminine types of activities does it take for a male to be considered Gender Fluid?

Do the feminine activities I partake in, the most noticeable of which, being an avid quilter, place me in this category?

elrodw wrote: My stories are also therapeutic for me. That and I enjoy hearing people say "good job" So I understand completely why you find a need to write to express your feelings.

elrodw wrote: My stories are also therapeutic for me. That and I enjoy hearing people say "good job" So I understand completely why you find a need to write to express your feelings.

As long as you don't want a 'Well Done' you're OK...

… activities really have nothing to do with it.

If you told a trans man "but you can't be a boy, you love shopping' they would be rather insulted.

So would a trans woman who was told "you can't be a girl, you like sports."

The fact that my gender identity shifts is a seperate issue from my interests, most of which society deems to be gender neutral anyway.

Yeah, it's about how you feel, not what you do. You have to periodically ask yourself, "Hey, Me McSelf, what do I feel like now?" If you always seem to feel like a man, then you're a man, and if you always feel like a woman, then you're a woman, and if whichever one you feel like doesn't match your gonads, then you're transgender. If you feel like neither a man nor a woman, but whatever you do feel like is consistent, then you're either agender or third gender. If you sometimes feel like one thing and sometimes like another, then you're either genderfluid or multigender. If none of those apply, then you are being difficult and will not be given a complementary sucker.

Hah!

I don't have everything figured out. I am way to aware of my situation to believe that.

No, what I have is a stupidly good relationship with my subconscious.

In general, people define labels, not the other way around. I'd say that you are genderfluid if and only if you feel that genderfluid is a useful description of your gender.

I for one feel cheated. "not so new, and not arriving." indeed.

Welcome back works, I guess.

Nagrij wrote: I for one feel cheated. "not so new, and not arriving." indeed.

Welcome back works, I guess.

How so?

Don't ask me, I only work here.

"Hey, how ya doing?" any better for you?

Now I am more confused. You are cheated yet you can not explain how?