Question A List of Things Whateley Students are No Longer allowed to do

1. Giving Toni Chocolate. After last time the maintenance department had to repair the entire front wall of a classroom, they have in no uncertain terms said that Ms. Chandler is allowed chocolate

1a. Or products with more than 16 ounces of sugar

1b. Or sugar (NO RULES LAWYERING ON THE DEFINITION OF 'PRODUCT'!! PURE SUGAR IS INCLUDED!!)

2. Giving devisor coffee brownies to Team Awesome. One major overhaul of Hawthorne is enough, and it is NOT the school's wish to keep repairing it especially after such a refit.

2a. In fact, no giving anyoneEXCEPT those who need it devisor coffee at all. While seeing 'how much coffee Wondercute can consume safely' is meant to be safe...it really isn't. Really people, how old are you? Six?

3. No feeding the unspeakable horrors in the Hawthorne basement bathrooms. While it may be funny to toss rank food in there and see what exactly they consume, it is not funny when they decide to rampage across campus in search of more.

4. No shoulder angels. YOU KNOW WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT!!!

5. While devisors are allowed certain freedom with what they invent, the next person to try creating a real Dalek will be put on sewer duty for a month

5a. Or a Cyberman

5b. Or a GE Ice-warrior

5c. Look, we know you're trying to express your inner geek. But when a rabid hoard of plastic dummies start attacking teachers and students, you've gone a bit too far.

5d. Ok, drawing the line at Adipose. So long as that's not real fat.

6. For the last time, cutting off your arm and attaching a cybernetic limb is best done by a trained medical professional. We do not need students being put on suicide watch for a week, and then having to explain to pissed parents that we allowed a student to cut off both his arms. How the hell do you even do that?

7. You are not Captain America. Even if you really want to be.

7a. Nor Iron Man.

7b. Nor Ant Man

7c. Nor The Wasp

7d. Nor Thor.

7e. While it was funny in retrospect, Jade is no longer allowed to use green and purple plasticine for projects.

8. Jimmy T is NOT allowed within three meters of a B-rated Kaju movie. Last time that happened, maintenance got pissed and started pestering Mrs. Carson before her morning coffee. You KNOW what happens when Teachers don't have their morning coffee.

8a. Nor is Jade allowed to watch Home Alone again. They were cleaning booby traps out of Poe for weeks.

8b. Who thought it was a good idea to let Jericho watch 'What not to wear'? Please report to the counselling office immediately.

9. Mr. Geintz tank is not to be referred to as a 'swimming pool' to incoming freshmen. We do not need another student requiring counselling after 'having a dip' in his pool.

9a. Nor is the Lovecraft room to be refered to as a secret brothel. Ms. Waite doesn't need more fun than she already has with her harem.

10. Do NOT refer to Sara's Pack as a 'Harem'. The usage of the word in the last entry was permitted by the group on a special circumstance. Too many people have been coming into Dolye as of late complaining of 'Concussion caused by Irate Amazon'

10a. Also do not refer to Team Kimba as 'Negligee Nightingales' or other such nicknames. We are aware that they bought this upon themselves, but please be wary of other student's feelings. Also your own personal safety. The school is not responsible for any mischief inflicted upon the person to call them by this nickname.

10b. On the note of nicknames, do not retaliate if the Imp gives you a particularly unpleasant one. She does that to everyone.

11. Do not touch the Imp's sweet stash. She may have put laxatives in the chocolates

11a. Urgh...BATHROOM!!!

11b. ...maybe not.
'
12. Fixx is no longer allowed to duct tape bullies to the school flag pole. While we appreciate the fact that it was harmless, we do not appreciate having to wait several hours to remove 'amped-up duct tape' plus student attached.

12a. Neither is Absinthe allowed to hold 'trip-out parties' on the school grounds.

12b. Nor outside the school grounds.

12c. Doesn't 'a air shelter on mars' happen to be outside school grounds? How the hell did you even get there, and why did we have to explain to the ESA why there was a rave on a uninhabited planet?

13. Do NOT call Ms Hartford a 'b***h', 'uppity a*****k', 'a** clenching party pooper' or even a 'humourless f***ing c***brained stiffler'. You are trained professionals. Teachers should not be insulting their colleagues to such a degree. If a student were to do this however, they would find themselves on a grueling cybersafety course with their internet browsing history and 50GB "homework" folder as prime examples.

13a. For that matter, do not call anyone these sorts of names. Staff will be undergoing mandatory professional courtesy training over the next two weeks

14. If anyone mentions a 'radioactive condor girl' again, I will give you a demonstration in how much explosives it takes to send you to orbit Jade - Bardue

14a. My god...do these kids ever learn? Please, God, save me from these people...I wish I'd stayed in the military...

Asking for a student: fembots and antimatter are still okay?

CrazyMinh wrote: 3. No feedingPlease feed the unspeakable horrors in the Hawthorne basement bathrooms. While it may be funny to toss rank food in there and see what exactly they consume, it is not funnyadorable when they decide to rampage across campus in search of more.

FIFY --Sara

CrazyMinh wrote: 6. For the last time, cutting off your arm and attaching a cybernetic limb is best done by a trained medical professional. We do not need students being put on suicide watch for a week, and then having to explain to pissed parents that we allowed a student to cut off both his arms. How the hell do you even do that?

Table guillotine with a timed release mechanism. Why do you ask?

CrazyMinh wrote: 8. Jimmy T is NOT allowed within three meters of a B-rated Kaju movie. Last time that happened, maintenance got pissed and started pestering Mrs. Carson before her morning coffee. You KNOW what happens when Teachers don't have their morning coffee.

That wasn't Jimmy. Try waking him any time before 8AM and you're lucky to scrape him off your shoes.

Before they dissolve, that is.

CrazyMinh wrote: 9a. Nor is the Lovecraft room to be refered to as a secret brothel. Ms. Waite doesn't need more fun than she already has with her harem.

However, she could use ropes that don't creak so much under varying amounts of strain. Just saying.

CrazyMinh wrote: 10b. On the note of nicknames, do not retaliate if the Imp gives you a particularly unpleasant one. She does that to everyone.

I still contend that "Oh my GOD! Watch out for that SEMI!! We're all going to DIE!!!" is over the top --Metro
That's what all your passengers call you. --Valravn
Guys, what did you do with the nice KoP employee that we brought back? --Imp I the Fabulous
Doc Otto and Chris say he's doing a lot better. --M
No. What they said was that he has a better prognosis than the short Danish kid up at ...
Need I remind you all that I know where, when, and if you sleep? --S

CrazyMinh wrote: 12. Fixx is no longer allowed to duct tape bullies to the school flag pole. While we appreciate the fact that it was harmless, we do not appreciate having to wait several hours to remove 'amped-up duct tape' plus student attached.

Pro Tip: Compiler makes the good stuff.
Signed, a brave and dashing Pack Stalker who must unfortunately remain anonymous to avoid the cruel lights of fame.

15. For the last time, doing 'sick drifts' in a car tricked out as the Ghostmobile on Halloween Night is unacceptable. Not only did we have several injuries due to accidrntal sideswipes, a brich wall to fix, and skid marks all over the pavement, we had to confiscate the car and then stop the Goobers from "appropriating" it for themselves. Next time you want to have a costume, don't be so "ingenious" with your props.

15a. This goes for proton packs, ghost traps and other paraphernalia as well.

16. No running in the corridors.

16a. No flying in the corridors

16b. For God's sake, no wall-crawling in the corridors.

16c. I swear you pupils are just doing this to piss us off: NO SPIDERMAN-STYLE SWINGING TO GET TO CLASSES!!

17. Students are not allowed to play dodgeball with plasma bombs. This should be a matter of common sense people!

(1) Students are not to summon demonesses when the demon is in the bath/shower/jacuzzi/etc.
(1.a) Even if said demoness doesn't mind.
(1.b) In fact, ESPECIALLY if said demoness doesn't mind.

(2) There is a REASON antimatter isn't on the workshop supply requisition forms.

(Astrodragon, if you wouldn't mind keeping the numbering continuous that would be great. That goes for anyone else posting BTW)

18. No student is to approach the grove. Even if Ms. Reilly can do it, it doesn't mean you can.

18a. No, just because Ms Wilson can do it doesn't mean you can now.

18b. Look, why do you even want to go there? Do you have the opinion that it is some sort of 'Naked Girl Orgy' haven? Look, for one: that sort of thinking is pretty damm unacceptable. For two, why do you think we'd even have that? For three, if you want to look at that sort of stuff, go look at magazines like all the other teenagers.

19. No, it is not acceptable to call Ms./Mr. Goodkind 'Goodvetch'. S/he doesn't like it

19a. Or any other name containing variations on the theme. While 'Good-grind' was retrospectively funny, the person to use that ended up with his clothes missing in the middle of the crystal hall, courtesy of the victim's magic-using friend/s. Please do not do this again.

20. Biodevisors/gadgeteers: under NO CIRCUMSTANCES are you to genetically-engineer pokemon.

20a. Or Digimon

20b. Or tribbles. We do not need to explain to the kitchen staff why their storerooms were overrun by trilling furry balls. The cleaning cost of that was incredible, and we're still trying to root out the survivors.

20c. Look, it may be geeky and cool, but genetically engineering a Horta was out of line.

21. Please refrain from jumping off buildings on red flag days. Even if you can fly, we don't need school district inspectors freaking out and having to have short-term memory wipes.

22. No staking of Ultra-Violents to trees. Security hates seeing them cry.
(No we don't.)

23. Upperclassman are no longer allowed to sell "Teleport Passes" to the incoming Freshmen.

CrazyMinh wrote: 15. For the last time, doing 'sick drifts' in a car tricked out as the Ghostmobile on Halloween Night is unacceptable. Not only did we have several injuries due to accidrntal sideswipes, a brich wall to fix, and skid marks all over the pavement, we had to confiscate the car and then stop the Goobers from "appropriating" it for themselves. Next time you want to have a costume, don't be so "ingenious" with your props.

The student who was so tricked out as the Ghostmobile refused to apologize to any of the Goobers. Especially Inquisitor. - U.C.

PS: And tell Ruthless, Silence, and Seven-League Boots that they each still owe me for that bet. Becky, if you pay me double, I'll give you a copy of the pics I took of Mary's reaction when I rolled while she was in my passenger seat. I don't think she expected me to be able to undo my seatbelts like that, and she definitely didn't know I could use them to hogtie her.

24. Psychics, please refrain from abusing your powers to get the pop quiz answers off the teacher. While it is a creative use of your abilities, we do have safeguards in place against this, and we don’t want to spend our valuable time handing out detentions willy-nilly.

25. Gadgeteers: If you actually think that it’s a good idea to build a flying saucer, and you have the skill to pull it off, then please do so. What is NOT acceptable in any way, shape or form is burning crop circles into Nebraskan cornfields. While we have limited photographic evidence to suggest that it was actually the project Ms. Nalley has been diligently working on, the fact that the Farmer saw a ‘buffalo, Footballer, Native American, a supermodel and a Irish beaut’ step from the saucer to inspect their handiwork, I wouldn’t think it amiss to suspect that it was indeed Ms. Nalley and Co in that cornfield, and not ‘those mickle-darn Martians’ as suggested so very eloquently by the irate farmer.

25. Boys are not allowed to put cameras in the Girl’s showers anymore.

25a. No, this doesn’t mean going low-tech and drilling a peep-hole in the roof or wall.

25b. Or using a portal to see in. That is a major abuse of your powers.

25c. All of this applies to you too girls. Not necessarily vice-versa either...

26. While a gadgeteer dressed in full power armour, replesdant with a chainsword and bolted, screaming “FOR DA EMPRAH” At 5am on a Monday morning was quite funny, curfew is not to be broken- even if you are dressed as one of the Emporer’s Holy Space Marines

26a. No, painting yourself green and yelling ‘WAAARGH!!” is not acceptable either.

26b. While “To’tau’va” is a lot quieter, and the core armour is a lot more visually appealing, you are still missing the point: curfew exists for a reas...

26c. I cannot unsee what has been seen. That Dark Eldar outfit was FAR too horrifying. NO ONE should have to see something like that without copious amounts of alcohol.

27. Belphagor is no longer allowed to steal from other tech-stream students.

27a. The Great Belohagor does not steal!! How dare you accuse me of such heinous acts. I...sorry, he am...is...the greatest Devisor ever to be born!!!

28. Soap is for washing. But it is definitely not for eating. Please refrain from telling new students that the ‘rite of initiation’ is to eat all the soap in the bathrooms.

29. Regardless of your claims of religious right to perform them, seances are not to be held in or near any caves near the north side of campus. This includes geological features outside such caves.

30. Herbal components of shamanistic beverages that are controlled substances under US law are to be handled by students with the express permission of Administration or Medical staff only. Students found in possession of these components without the proper permission will be subject to detention.

31. Scheduling appointments with Whateley Academy Legal staff to "test your knowledge," is discouraged.

32. Psychoactive herbal compounds are not provided by the Special Diets line of the cafeteria. Students forging credentials in pursuit of such items will be subject to detention. Students encouraging the gullible to do so will also be subject to detention.

32a: These labels DO NOT mean "the really good stuff".

32b: Nor are items so marked to be exchanged for doughnuts or any other dietary items not on the student's meal plan.

33. Cafeteria personnel do not accept bribes in exchange for items not authorized on a student's Special Diets plan.

34. Students are not to modify the results of any medical test or measurement.
Yes, that includes scales, sphygmomanometers, and anything else you might be considering.

• 35. Polishing your wand in the common room isn't acceptable, regardless of whether that phrase is being used euphemistically or not. Potentially obscene interpretations aside, seeing someone fondling, and ominously whispering to, a dangerous magical item in a public locale tends to make people nervous - and yes, we're talking about you, Metro.
  
• 36. Do not tell freshthings that Oak like being climbed on. He doesn't.
  
• 37. Surprising Roulette with jump scares is absolutely forbidden.
  
• 38 Telling freshman Psychic Arts students that they are required to take an oath of celibacy is both needlessly cruel, and, given that they are freshmen, probably unnecessary anyway.
  • 38a. Removing Mindbird's clothes from the locker room and replacing them with a red robe while she is in martial arts class was only funny the first time. In hopes of dissuading further attempts, we will note that the medical records of the guilty parties have been made available for download from the Doyle Medical website.
• 39. Avatars bound to Loa, Orisha, or certain similar classes of spirits need written permission in order to be exempt from school policies regarding controlled substances, including tobacco and alcohol, and only do so with direct instructor supervision. Exemptions will only be granted in instances where it can be shown that the spirit in question has an affinity for the substance in question.

Schol-R-LEA wrote:

• 35. Polishing your wand in the common room isn't acceptable, regardless of whether that phrase is being used euphemistically or not. Potentially obscene interpretations aside, seeing someone fondling, and ominously whispering to, a dangerous magical item in a public locale tends to make people nervous - and yes, we're talking about you, Metro.

-- My doctors say it's only a problem if equipment not known to be hosting a sentience answers back.

40. No one is to play the theme to 'Barney the Dinosaur' when Mr. Williams walks into the classroom. While he did punish the offenders with a week-long detention in the sewers the first time it happened, we don't appreciate students hijacking the speakers for the whole school, especially when they're not even IN Mr. William's class.
40a. The same goes for playing the Ghostbusters theme when Reverend Englund is taking his place at the podium to give a sermon.
40b. No, that doesn't mean playing Tim Minchin songs when he takes the podium. 'Fuck the Motherfucker' was funny, but not to the Reverend.
40c. Playing 'Back in Black' when Jobe walks into a classroom is also unacceptable.
40d. Playing 'Shoot To Thrill' when testing your new power armour is getting old people.
40e. The Flight Instructors AND the local flight control at the Logan International Airport are now complaining about students playing 'Danger Zone' over the reserved air-traffic channel. Seriously.
40f. Students are no longer allowed to play any music publicly unless using headphones.
40g. No, headphones with external speakers is kinda besides the point.
40h. NO MORE BRASS MONKEY!!! AT!!! ALL!!!
41. Students are not allowed to perform the theoretical 'Schrodinger's Cat' experiment. This should be obvious. It's a thought experiment, not a literal one. You shouldn't have tried it with Merlin anyway.
42. No more yodelling in the corridors.
42a. Or cat calls
42b. Or Wolf Whistles
42c Or anime onomatopoeia
42d. Look, no weird sounds, unless your mutation makes it so that you can only communicate via such sounds.
43. Australian transfer students are not to sing rugby anthems in the corridors.
43a. Or insult the Brits over the cricket. Just because you keep winning doesn't mean you can tell them so.
43b. Or make remarks about Skylab and the Outback.
43c. Or use confusing language. Apparently no one knows what 'Budgie Smugglers' are.
44. If you see a German student, don't mention the war.
44a. Even if they started it by invading Poland.
44b. Absolutely NO Hitler references
44c. Or Herman Goering.
44d. Saying 'I saw it on Fawlty Towers' is not a excuse when you come into Doyle with a irate German's fist mark on your face.
45. No fake bomb-scares. The last time we had someone connect a metronome they built in shop class to a briefcase full of wires and a few blocks of clay they stole from the art supply store, we had to call in the FBI and the local Boston PD Bomb Squad before someone admitted it was a (rather ingenious) prank.
45a. And when you get sent to the cells in Security for the night, don't teach the other detainees to attach wires to the bars and shock people. I don't care that it's funny, it's really not cool.
46. Books are for reading, not using as frisbees.
47. Students are not allowed to create nuclear bombs. This should be common sense. You KNOW that those things are deadly.

CrazyMinh wrote: 47. Students are not allowed to create nuclear bombs. This should be common sense. You KNOW that those things are deadly.

47a. Except when provided express permission from the Headmistress/Headmaster. Students provided this permission may be subject to Nuclear Regulatory Commission oversight and regulations and may be monitored by the Department of Energy after graduation from the Academy. Students are *strongly* advised to keep being granted such permission to themselves. Failure to do so may result in referral to the Federal government, or detention in the sewers, depending on the severity of the violation of this rule.

47 b) Yes hydrogen bombs do count as nuclear bombs.
Why do you ask Meto?

48) Copies of the Anarchist's Cookbook are no longer allowed on campus.
48a) Anarchist's Cookbook 2 and other similar ideas will also be confiscated. I don't care if you can do it better, you don't need to be sharing your knowledge with other students.

DerpHaven wrote: 48) Copies of the Anarchist's Cookbook are no longer allowed on campus.
48a) Anarchist's Cookbook 2 and other similar ideas will also be confiscated. I don't care if you can do it better, you don't need to be sharing your knowledge with other students.

49) Ignition however is allowed, due to its excellent examples of safety procedures and substances NOT allowed on campus
49a) No ClF3, FOOF, or liquid ozone anywhere near campus.

50. Devisors/Gadgeteers: No rocket-propelled chainsaws
50a. Or rocket-propelled Banana Peels (looking at you Monkeywrench!)
50b. Or rocket-propelled soda cans
50c. Or rocket-propelled swords
50d. Or rocket-propelled anything-but-rockets
50e. No, that isn't literal.

51. Jade is no longer allowed to come within ten meters of Bloodwolf. He's having to attend counselling now.
51a. Or any other ultraviolent.
51b. No, that does not mean she has to spread herself out over a ten meter space. How would you even do that and live?
51c. ....I don't even...why????

52. Food is for eating, not throwing. No food fights in the Crystal Hall.
52a. Or in the quad.
52b. Or in the cottages
52c. Or in the library
52d. Or Doyle
52e. Home economics MAY occasionally deal with cooking, but you are not to throw your fresh, hot, custard pie around the rooms.
52f. This goes for all food.
52g. I don't want to know why you thought throwing faeces was acceptable. Having 'a monkey spirit' or a 'baboon spirit' does not count.

53) Students are no longer allowed to attempt 'Magically-Sycronized K-pop Dances' in the Quad to summon a giant Hello Kitty.

54. Students are forbidden to charge hourly rates for access to their personal Dream Space, or anyone else's.
a) Not even if the brothels accept iPayoff.
b) We are under NO obligation to explain WHY we aren't surprised to hear about the brothels.
c) Plausible deniability only gets you so far in any world. Much like iPayoff.
d) Students found enabling the establishment of businesses offering 'metahuman comfort' or 'risk opportunities' within ANY pocket dimension or limited-access plane WILL be disciplined accordingly. Rev. Englund has many suggestions for such infractions.

55. Digital Intelligences are required to uphold all rules and regulations that could apply to students or staff while using Whateley Academy resources. Exceptions for supervised training exercises shall be considered on a case-by-case basis.
a) Ms. Amelia Hartford, as Assistant Headmistress, is considered a special case.
b) There will be no exceptions granted for using Tiny Tim to Gibbs-slap a bitch

56. Zombie familiars are expressly forbidden.

57. Radionuclides are neither suitable starting nor ending materials for magical tools.
a) Inexplicable gaps in the text of the Principia Discordia shall not be considered as justifying an fnord exemption.

58. Orange Crush is a beverage. Agent Orange is not. Neither are to be transported to or through The Grove.
a) In fact, access to The Grove is restricted to a list maintained by Security, not Kodiak.
b) If you have to ask, you are not on that list.

59. Students who create their own power armour are forbidden from playing loud rock music while performing arial ground-slams. While the Australian rock-band AC/DC is a extremely good band, it is not the sort of music that should be playing at 3 AM while a student performs dive bombs to 'Test their new power suit'.

60. BFG's: While cool, the ranges are each designed for a specific purpose. Bringing a large-bore, man-portable, nitrogen-cooled plasma cannon to the rifle range is not acceptable, even if it is rifle-sized. Bringing a light plasma rifle however, is. So long as you clear it with range personnel first.
60a. Yes, you are allowed to bring a light plasma rifle to the heavy weapons range. Though why you would is beyond me.

61. While there are parallels between the fictional Xavier Academy and this one, we are not said school for mutants. Students who insinuate that the school is faking it's neutrality and is actually a front for a secret team of crime-fighting mutants will be introduced to the school's sponsors for detention. Let us say that some of our sponsors do not approve of the school being dominated by "whiny super-hero-wannabe cry-babies" and will devise (literally in some cases) the most cruel and unusual punishments available. Let me remind you that the school is situated on tribal territory, and thus does not have to follow rules regarding such punishments.

62. Do NOT call Mrs Carson the following names:
- Dumbledorette
- Professor C (we do not have a resident super team, and they would not be called the C-Men even if we did!)
- Supergirl
- Superwoman
- Lady Ass-tarty
- Mrs. Ass-tarty
- Anything with Ass-tarty in it.
- Kindergarten Superhero (if you so wish, diapers can be provided by Miss Morgan at request)
- The Teachernator T34CH-1800
- The amazing teacherwoman.
- The amazing teachergirl
- Bat-teacher
- Anything but Mrs. Carson or other respectful names.

Ebola wrote: 53) Students are no longer allowed to attempt 'Magically-Sycronized K-pop Dances' in the Quad to summon a giant Hello Kitty.

TOO LATE!!!

CrazyMinh wrote: 59. Students who create their own power armour are forbidden from playing loud rock music while performing arial ground-slams. While the Australian rock-band AC/DC is a extremely good band, it is not the sort of music that should be playing at 3 AM while a student performs dive bombs to 'Test their new power suit'.

60. BFG's: While cool, the ranges are each designed for a specific purpose. Bringing a large-bore, man-portable, nitrogen-cooled plasma cannon to the rifle range is not acceptable, even if it is rifle-sized. Bringing a light plasma rifle however, is. So long as you clear it with range personnel first.
60a. Yes, you are allowed to bring a light plasma rifle to the heavy weapons range. Though why you would is beyond me.

61. While there are parallels between the fictional Xavier Academy and this one, we are not said school for mutants. Students who insinuate that the school is faking it's neutrality and is actually a front for a secret team of crime-fighting mutants will be introduced to the school's sponsors for detention. Let us say that some of our sponsors do not approve of the school being dominated by "whiny super-hero-wannabe cry-babies" and will devise (literally in some cases) the most cruel and unusual punishments available. Let me remind you that the school is situated on tribal territory, and thus does not have to follow rules regarding such punishments.

62. Do NOT call Mrs Carson the following names:
- Dumbledorette
- Professor C (we do not have a resident super team, and they would not be called the C-Men even if we did!)
- Supergirl
- Superwoman
- Lady Ass-tarty
- Mrs. Ass-tarty
- Anything with Ass-tarty in it.
- Kindergarten Superhero (if you so wish, diapers can be provided by Miss Morgan at request)
- The Teachernator T34CH-1800
- The amazing teacherwoman.
- The amazing teachergirl
- Bat-teacher
- Anything but Mrs. Carson or other respectful names.

- Wonder Woman
- Lynda Carson
- Principal Powers

63. Magicians are no longer allowed to summon hobgoblins deliberately to 'Save on Thanksgiving Turkey'. For one, the hobgoblins disappear very quickly. Two, they don't appreciate being skinned and stuffed. Three, they have sharp teeth.

63a. Nor is Jobe allowed to create a 'Turkey Tower' alá Oryx and Crake

63b. Look, just stay away from bio-devisor created meat, magically created meat, or anything that didn't come from the local supermarket/butchers/other foodstuff-vendor.

63c. No, that does not mean to go to a foodstuff vendor operated by a biodevisor/magician. You have no idea what you're actually eating.

63d. Whichever student successfully created Soylent Green, please report to the Principals office for a meeting with the Boston PD.

64. Thanksgiving is for celebration with the family. You should not warp into Mrs. Carson's bedroom at three in the morning from another time zone, and present her with a slice of fresh Turkey Breast. While she appreciates the gesture, she needs sleep, and you shouldn't have been in her private space anyway, regardless of 'being on vacation'.

65. Students are advised not to build their own spaceship. Unless you can prove that you can fly it to the flight instructors, you will be disassembling the craft before we get a repeat of 9/11, except with a UFO instead of a pair of planes and the Boston Metropolitan District instead of the World Trade Centre.

65a. No, KSP is not a valid flight trainer.

65b. Nor is Elite.

65c. Or Microsoft Flight Sim 2006

65d. Or Goodkind Aerospace F-112 Military-use Aerospace Combat Trainer. Where you got one of those from is beyond me.

65e. Ayla Goodkind, please report to Mrs. Carson's office.

66. Students are forbidden from having midair sex. This should be obvious. We've heard too many news reports about airline elderly passengers having heart attacks while in flight because they saw a pair of young teenagers buck naked outside the port wing of a Boston-bound flight. We've also had to get rid of too much illegal child pornography off the net, conspicuously taken from the same flights. While the arrest and detainment of such vile photographers is a good thing for all humanity, it is not the way that it should be done.

67. Jade is no longer allowed to own hamsters. The plague of massive rats that she called' hamsters' is getting severely overblown.

67a. Or Puppies. We have enough of those eyes already.

67b. Or Parakeets

67c. Or cats

67d. Or Ice Sharks. The biodevisor who thought that up should report to the counselling department immediately.

67e. Or rabbits.

67f. Oh dear god, who gave her the living My Little Ponies?

68. Biodevisors are forbidden from making unicorns.

68a. Please capture all the unicorns, Buster is embarrassed that they are following him all day.

68b. So are the rest of the Ultra Violents.

68c. OK, Generator isn't.

69. There is no rule 69.

70. Phase is not secretly Batman. Yes, he's rich. Yes, he's fought supervillians. Yes, he has a utility belt stuffed with gadgets. But he is NOT Bruce Wayne.

70a. Nor are the Vindicators the Avengers in disguise. The Avengers wouldn't be so incompetent competent

70b. Nor is Ms. Carson secretly Diana of Themyscira.

71. Devisors attempting to use neuralisers on staff and other students will have their sunglasses confiscated and the memory of how to build such a device appropriately removed.

71a. No, not even if you convince Belephagor not to steal from your workshop again.

71b. Jade is not allowed to use one for self hypnosis. It doesn't work like that.

71c. You are ESPECIALLY forbidden if you're using it to pick up girls.

72. Students should not tell others that their school is actually:

- Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters

- Starfleet Academy

- Battle School

- Fleet Academy

- Beacon Training Academy

- Sky High

- U.A. High School

CrazyMinh wrote:
60. BFG's: While cool, the ranges are each designed for a specific purpose. Bringing a large-bore, man-portable, nitrogen-cooled plasma cannon to the rifle range is not acceptable, even if it is rifle-sized. Bringing a light plasma rifle however, is. So long as you clear it with range personnel first.
60a. Yes, you are allowed to bring a light plasma rifle to the heavy weapons range. Though why you would is beyond me.

I recall one of the stories about Eric Mahren, when he was still a range instructor, discussed this exact set of circumstances.

There are range rules about how and when "Experimental Prototypes" are to be tested, and, the decisions of the Range Staff are final...

Considering the tech-heads that make light-sabers, making a BFG would be a rite of passage.

73. please keep your robots non self propagating. girlgenius.wikia.com/wiki/Dingbots

74. It is inadvisable to mention Harry Potter around any of the magic department. They've had too many bad experiences with students ending up without appendages/facial features, with severe injuries, or simply dead because someone decided that Windgardium Leviosa was a actual spell.

75. Students should not slip things into drinks in a attempt to intentionally poison or harm another student. The recent incident at the Halloween Ball is to be taken as a warning not to be a

76. Any student found to be singing 'Country Road' while wearing a yellow/blue jumpsuit is to be returned to their home canon.

77. Students are not to worship any teacher as a god.

77a. Except the Fantastic Imp, of course!

77b. Not even the Imp. Sorry bout' that.

78. No one is to mention Dr. Seuss around Admiral Everheart. Nor are green meat products to be consumed within line of sight.

79. Students are no longer allowed to build TARDIS's. Last Wednesday's incident with the events of the following Tuesday of the previous month of the next year becoming merged with the events of the original day it was MEANT to be have caused a small wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey thingimabob to cause temporal flux concerning this event. This was a direct result of some student travelling back to the past's future and confusing the timeline. We now have the year 2001 about to happen again next year, which will be the year 200002, and this is still being fixed by the Temporal Sickness Division from a year we can't even number and fit on this list. Look, just don't try to figure this one out, and don't try and built a TARDIS again, K'?

79a. No Deloreans either

79b. Or Public Phone Booths

79c. Or LNG-tanker sized teleportation research vessels

79d. Look, just no time machines OK?

80. Students are no longer allowed to do it. That is all.

81. No telepathic super intelligent apes Bio-devisors
81a. No intelligent apes
81b. Smart dogs are ok.

CrazyMinh wrote: 80. Students are no longer allowed to do it. That is all.

-- Birds do it
-- Bees do it
-- Even educated fleas do it!
-- Someone must not be getting it done.

Sir Lee wrote:

Ahh that should be the MAN Barry and only Barry!

82. Sidhe (and other similarly long-lived and/or immortal) students are no longer allowed to purchase something that "comes with a life-time warranty", and then smirk while saying "We'll see about that". - Nikki, this means you especially.

82a. Neither are students allowed to clone themselves to extend the warranty of a product. Or otherwise prolong lifespan. Seriously, it gets boring after the first three millennia- Circe.

83. Ayla is no longer allowed to check the stock market during assemblies. This applies to all students: listen and pay attention during mandatory assemblies. You may hear something that might save your life.

84. The Whateley Student Resource Council is proud to announce the opening of a new dog park. Dogs are not allowed in the dog park. People are not allowed in the dog park, Werewolves, sidhe and other species are not allowed in the dog park. Do not talk about the Dog Park. Do not think about the dog park. Do not look at the dog park. If you step in the dog park, we will know.

85. Peeper is no longer allowed to sell advertising space on WARS. Especially if said ads contain a hypnotic compulsive message to buy the products advertised on the radio show. After half the campus rushed into Boston to buy a McDonalds Happy Meal with Lady Lightening figurines included, we had to get the Boston PD to round all the students up, confiscate the toys, and bring them back here to be deprogrammed. There was a lot of crying, especially from the students involved. They lost nearly their entire life savings, and those who did not have the necessary mutations to increase metabolism found themselves on a strict diet and time consuming fitness regime until they could get back into a less spherical shape.

85a. Saying that the devisor-induced hypnosis's unexpected side effect of massive and unproportional-to-matter-consumed fat increase resulting in unusual and decidedly unhealthy mass student obesity was a 'mistake' is undercutting it. The fact that we now have had to install a temporary extension to our existing gym facilities speaks numbers about your device's side-effects mega death

86. Students are not allowed to wear their power armour to class unless citing a specific and valid disability. Valid disabilities include uncontrollable superspeed/strength; uncontrollable energiser discharge; disabilities relating to mobility/motor control skills and other crippling issues. Valid disabilities do not include 'I need it to get to class on-time', 'I left my clothes in arena-99, and this was all I had on hand', 'it looks awesome' and 'it DOES have the school logo on it, so it's technically uniform, right?'

87. Baby Shark

88. Do not give Bladedancer any more copies of The Tao of Pooh, She has informed us that 879 copies is 878 too many.

89. Students are no longer allowed to recreate the rocket-boot scene from 'Star Trek V: The Final Frontier We don't talk about this movie, list writer! using the simulators. After a incident involving a regenerator being sliced into three pieces, we have decided to ban this particular activity.
89a. No, that doesn't mean recreating any other dangerous scene is allowed. We have reason for banning these acts!
89b. Yes, you are allowed to recreate the mind meld scene. From any movie or TV series. Just don't do it without permission.

90. While we do realise that you ARE teenagers, and thus have a much more voracious sex drive, shifters making live-action hentai is still child pornography, regardless of whether you are in the shape of a animated adult or not.
90a. Look, any sort of pornography is forbidden.
90b. Ms. Walcutt would prefer if the two tapes of her that have recently begun circulating again would not be resold at large prices. The school would prefer that students do not watch or buy the tape in question.

91. Devisors are not allowed to ride hoverboards in the corridors.
91a. That does include gadgeteers as well.

92. Time travel is very dangerous, and we do not recommend using a DeLorean to do so. Especially if it's a teacher's car.
92a. No, you cannot make a TARDIS. Haven't we already covered this?
92b. No, normal phone booths are not OK either. Especially if the thing isn't bigger on the inside.
92c. Students are no longer allowed to 'borrow' Albert Einstein to help them with their Physics homework.
92d. Nor Marco Polo to help with their commerce or business homework.
92e. Look, I know you guys think this is novel, but when you collect Jesus, the Buddha, Muhammed and Richard Dawkins; march them into the Village bar (which is out-of-bounds as you should know), and declare 'A age old joke has just been achieved', then you know you're doing the wrong thing. Also, when Dawkins punched Jesus, we had to do nose surgery on the possible Son of God. Which your parents will be paying for on your next school fee payment.

CrazyMinh wrote: 91. Devisors are not allowed to ride hoverboards in the corridors.
91a. That does include gadgeteers as well.

-- We prefer to call it "exemplar training".
-- Yes, Rorsmand gave consent.
-- The duct tape across his mouth is just a safety precaution.

93. Circe does not know where Achilles is buried, and even if she did, cloning tendons and heels from his DNA as jokes is not permitted.
94. Bio-Divisors are not allowed to mix Sidhe DNA with food-Divisor DNA, in hopes of making Keebler Elves.
95. You shall not refer to Samantha Everhart as "The Borg Queen"
96. "All the cool kids are doing it" is not an excuse.
97. Don't use "Miss Imp said we could" as an excuse, even if she did say it.
98. No, that is not a (insert phallic weapon name here) in our pocket, and no, we are not happy to see you.
99. No GET SMART references.
100. putting bottles of beer on any wall is also not allowed, and where are you students getting beer, anyhow?

Sorry, double posted before I was finished. Oops.

101. When travelling in a vehicle equipped with seatbelts, students must wear said seatbelts. What you must NOT do is form a seatbelt and buckle out of part of your body mass, and clip yourself into the seat. This is neither safe, nor legal.

102. Students should remember that self-mutilation is off-the-table, and such acts should be reported to the nearest member of staff, and the injured individual transported to the closest medical care facility. Yes, this includes regenerators.

103. If you are a were, we would like to remind you that students are not allowed to break curfew. Even to howl at the full moon.
103a. Disturbingly, we would like to remind non-were students that they should not be outside in the middle of the night, buck naked, and howling at the moon. The excuse that Absinthe 'made you trip out' is not acceptable, and constitutes slander.
103b. No, even if you ask Absinthe to make you trip out, you still don't have an excuse.
103c. Howling of a sexual disposition is even less tolerable. Do you really want Peeper taking photos of that?
103d. Forget I asked.

104. Gadgeteers are no longer allowed to substitute potatoes in the Kitchen storerooms with fusion grenades. This tends to cause a problem when food is being prepared for your lunches.
104a. Neither are students allowed to put hobgoblins in the kitchen. We would like to refer students to Ms. Reilly if they need a explanation on how this is bad, and why that detention in Hawthorne is well deserved.
104b. No, spiking the custard with devisor drugs was not funny either. When 90% of the school are seeing colourful bunny rabbits on every surface while also feeling a immeasurable desire to dance the Irish jig nonstop, then we have a definite problem.
104c. Please. Stop playing pranks with the food.
104d. That doesn't mean start playing pranks ON the food. We suddenly have a infestation of sentient, extremely terrified, broccoli. We don't need this.
104e. No, the kitchen staff don't need to be pranked either.
104f. Whoever put a large number of lewd pictures on Mrs. Hartford's pin-board should report to the school office immediately.
104g. No more pranks on staff. Students are fine.

105. While prank calling the MCO about a mutant kiwi fruit was probably funny at the time, students should remember that such a act constitutes a federal offence.

106. Australian students are forbidden from referring to New Zealanders as 'Sheep-shaggers'. They don't like that.

107. Whoever biodevised the Drop-bear infestation, please report to security for detention. We've had several maulings, all of them students from non-Australian countries. Which constitutes pretty much the entire school. In the mean time, all students are to avoid walking under trees, unless they spread Vegemite over their backs and wear a bush hat with hanging corks.

108. Students will not instigate creative curiosity in our devisors by asking 'Shine what a banana-split liqueur would taste like and how potent it would be. Where alcohol is involved, he tends to not understand jokes vs. legitimate scientific inquiries, and will inevitably try to create it. You are not legally allowed to consume alcohol anyway. This means you, Monkeyshine.
108a. Or any other unusual flavor.
108b. Any student caught spiking a punch bowl will have the pleasure of many weeks or months of detention in Hawthorne.
108c. Or any other drink dispenser.
108d. Or any food dispenser, to include the ice-cream machines.
108e. It does not matter what the laws of your home country are with regard to teenage alcohol consumption. This is Whateley, not your home country, and US and tribal laws prevail.
108f. Unusual or 'invented' religions and worship objects of which the administration has never heard are not an excuse for 'ceremonial' alcohol consumption practices.
108g. Anyone caught consulting with 'Shine about the proper construction of fermenters and stills will enjoy detention in Hawthorne.
108h. Students with a legitimate GSD-induced biological need to consume alcohol may, with approval of the power testing department and the administration, arrange with 'Shine for production of suitable consumable alcohol. The quantity will be very strictly regulated and monitored, and production an distribution will be controlled through Doyle.

109. There is no 109. What are you talking about?

110. Whichever student has caused a entire number to disappear from reality, please fix this immediately. Said number fits somewhere between 108 and 110, and its disappearance is causing temporal and spacial anomalies.
110a. Please note that the number 109 has been rediscovered.
110b. Wait, what is a 110? Is it a number? Wait, where am I?? Why am I writing this??? WHO AM I????
110c. Please do not abuse the list writer.

111. Anyone who tricks another student into undergoing cryogenic suspension for 200 years will be left outside the vault when the bombs drop. Wait, wrong canon. Shit!

112. We would like to remind students that the dog park is still off-limits. Any hooded figures seen in there are real, but are also figments of your fevered imagination. Do not go in the dog park. Do not think about the dog park. No students or teachers are allowed in the dog park.

113. No student is to attempt oral sex while flying. We've had enough mid-air sex related accidents involving oral sex, teeth, and a very important anatomical piece to last a lifetime.

114. Students are not allowed to fight with real lightsabers in the quad without proper supervision and safety equipment. This is for your own safety. Not everyone is a regenerator.

115. Students are not to refer to Melville Cottage as 'Ponce-land', 'Mel Gibson Cottage', 'Richy-Rich Towers', 'Fancytown' or 'Fawlty Towers'. Actually, the last one is acceptable, but overused. Also incorrectly used. Very incorrectly.

116. Students are reminded that building a functional replica of a Star Trek shuttlecraft does not mean that you can fly it without a FDA registry. NCC-1701-1 'Einstein' doesn't count either.
116a. In addition, students are reminded that to fly any homemade aircraft, Whateley has a policy that students wishing to pilot their own vehicle must attend our flight course, and achieve the minimum pilot's license to fly such a vehicle.

117. Students are reminded that making your own super-soldiers is off the table. Even IF you found willing volunteers, Halo is not a good example of ethical super-soldier creation. Remember that Spartans were KIDNAPPED as children and trained for years to become the invincible- and severely underdeveloped- super-soldiers that they are in those games. If a student is found attempting to create their own Master Chief, be warned that you could be imprisoned for kidnapping among other things.

118. Exploiting the typo in 116 to register your Star Trek shuttlecraft replica or any other homemade aircraft with the Food and Drug Administration is not an acceptable alternative. Even if your aircraft happen to be edible. You still have to register with the FAA (Federal Aviation Administration).

Sir Lee wrote: 118. Exploiting the typo in 116 to register your Star Trek shuttlecraft replica or any other homemade aircraft with the Food and Drug Administration is not an acceptable alternative. Even if your aircraft happen to be edible. You still have to register with the FAA (Federal Aviation Administration).

Ouch. Made that one without thinking about it. Oops. Sorry, we do things differently here in Oz.

119. Attempting to clone or otherwise duplicate the Nuclear Engineering professor even once is strictly forbidden. Attempting to duplicate him 950 million times is grounds for expulsion - not merely from Whateley Academy, but from planet Earth entirely.
120. Duplicating said professor's webcomic is similarly forbidden, and will result in having to write an essay explaining how magical levitation works in terms of classical mechanics (the psychiatric staff will be on hand for those students who are subject to this penalty).
121. Construction of robot hexapods of sizes greater than 175cm in any given spacial dimension and/or massing more than 200Kg must be cleared with Headmistress Carson. This rule applies to staff as well.

Should I assume that the Nuclear Engineering professor is called "Mr. Bleuel?"

CrazyMinh wrote: 109. There is no 109. What are you talking about?


117. Students are reminded that making your own super-soldiers is off the table. Even IF you found willing volunteers, Halo is not a good example of ethical super-soldier creation. Remember that Spartans were KIDNAPPED as children and trained for years to become the invincible- and severely underdeveloped- super-soldiers that they are in those games. If a student is found attempting to create their own Master Chief, be warned that you could be imprisoned for kidnapping among other things.

you were waiting for that one weren't you?


also:

122. Students are not allowed to drive motorcycles off cliffs into their enemies, (even in the sims) just because it would look cool, if there is a tactical practical reason to do so, be ready to write a report on it. note: roosterteeth.com/episode/rwby-volume-6-11

mhalpern wrote:

CrazyMinh wrote: 109. There is no 109. What are you talking about?


117. Students are reminded that making your own super-soldiers is off the table. Even IF you found willing volunteers, Halo is not a good example of ethical super-soldier creation. Remember that Spartans were KIDNAPPED as children and trained for years to become the invincible- and severely underdeveloped- super-soldiers that they are in those games. If a student is found attempting to create their own Master Chief, be warned that you could be imprisoned for kidnapping among other things.

you were waiting for that one weren't you?


also:

122. Students are not allowed to drive motorcycles off cliffs into their enemies, (even in the sims) just because it would look cool, if there is a tactical practical reason to do so, be ready to write a report on it. note: roosterteeth.com/episode/rwby-volume-6-11

Yes, I did indeed wait quite a while to make that particular reference. Also, damm. That episode teased so much about a Blake x Yang and Ruby x Weiss. Also, double damm. They destroyed Gambol Shoud!! If they even THINK about doing that with Cresent Rose (the very symbol of why RWBY is awesome) fans will riot. Also, triple damm: I liked that motorcycle. I wonder whether they’ll give Yang a new one, or whether they’ll fish the old one out of the river.

The schnee dust company logo branded into Adam’s face was a nice reveal. Although I spent half of that scene thinking it said SOS.

If anyone is curious about the inspiration for this list, here is ‘A list of things XCOM Operatives are no longer allowed to do:

docs.google.com/document/d/1BqoEJUWKVRFS...uXJHgmr0/mobilebasic

122a. Students are also not allowed to drive motorcycles off cliffs onto police cars . Officer Friendly isn't your enemy.

By the way, XCOM: Enemy Within wasn't released until 2012

The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army dates back to 2001.

123. Students are not to submit any item from " 2500 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG " for consideration as a simulator scenario.
123a. Skippy's List and JG's List are also on the sign-up list for "You Have A Toothbrush; Laird Hall Has Locker Rooms That Need Cleaning"

Sir Lee wrote: Should I assume that the Nuclear Engineering professor is called "Mr. Bleuel?"

That's Dr. Bleuel, if memory serves. Just don't ask him what color his hair is (I did once, his response was... amusing).

(Now I just have to figure out who the WA equivalent of Danny Hua is - we already have a King Luca-like in Stalwart, after all. I am wondering if anyone noted the EGS reference I snuck in on that, too; I assume Sir Lee did, but...)

null0trooper wrote: 122a. Students are also not allowed to drive motorcycles off cliffs onto police cars . Officer Friendly isn't your enemy.

By the way, XCOM: Enemy Within wasn't released until 2012

The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army dates back to 2001.

123. Students are not to submit any item from " 2500 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG " for consideration as a simulator scenario.
123a. Skippy's List and JG's List are also on the sign-up list for "You Have A Toothbrush; Laird Hall Has Locker Rooms That Need Cleaning"

Erm, I'm aware of that. I'm not trying to cause a timesquiggle, I'm just saying that I myself (as in I, the great and powerful Minh) was inspired to make this list by that particular google doc. Not that in-universe that was an inspiration. If you're going to be that sticky about it, RWBY wasn't a thing in 2006 or 2007.

If anyone is curious about what a timesquiggle is...well, it's fanfiction language. It describes when someone is using a song, movie or tv show in their story when the in-universe characters wouldn't have heard of it in that particular point in time. For example, the infamous fanfic 'My Immortal' features the band 'My Chemical Romance'. They didn't form until 2001, meaning that Draco, Harry, and whoever Tara decided to turn 'Goffik' in her abortion of a fanfic would be in their 20's by the time the band was formed, meaning they'd hardly be going to Hogwarts.

Schol-R-LEA wrote: (Now I just have to figure out who the WA equivalent of Danny Hua is - we already have a King Luca-like in Stalwart, after all. I am wondering if anyone noted the EGS reference I snuck in on that, too; I assume Sir Lee did, but...)

Of course I did. I mean, Nanase thinks he doesn't like her just for violating the Law of Gravity in the school halls.

What I'm saying is that "213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed To Do in the Army" was far more likely to have influenced the XCOM list than the other way around.

The inspiration of your inspiration is still ultimately the inspiration for both.

---

125. While we recognize that we do promote "deep immersion" in the Combat Finals scenarios, students are still prohibited from jacking vehicles in the school parking lots to "complete the Red Team experience".

126. From now on, we're leaving the unlicensed antitheft measures active. Is that "keeping it real" enough? Let's find out.

127. Regarding sacramental wines and spirits: they should be clearly labelled with regard to contents and intended use. Students are prohibited from altering required labels.

Neither "You'll know soon enough" nor "Drink Me" counts as compliance with this directive.

We already have a short list who never will be missed after last Sunday of suspects regarding the communion wine having been swapped for something more potent at the Dillon Chapel.

Rev. Englund would like it to be known that staff members are also prohibited altering labels or diverting libations from their proper use.

128. Students are reminded to keep all hands, feet, and other appendages on this plane at all times unless otherwise directed by your stewardess by a teacher or staff member or the voices in my head.

Now I'm thinking that I may have to come up with a list of things the Imp is no longer allowed to do.

129. Students attempting to build their own iron man suit must conduct flight tests with a safety officer in attendance.
129a. No, you may not use a robot
129b. No, the safety officer isn't there as a 'Babysitter'. They're there to keep you from bashing your head in.
129c. No, you may not call the safety officer 'mum'. Unless they are actually your mother.
129d. The joke doesn't work with 'Dad'.

130. While using our excellent gym facilities, students must be aware of the labels on the machines. For example, if you were to use a running mill marked 'Speedsters only', you would find yourself in a hospital bed very soon indeed. If you were a speedster using a machine marked 'Everyone else', you would be seeing charges for a new machine added to your school fees for that term.
130a. No, that does not mean that a exemplar cannot use a normal set of weights. It's just not as fun when you're lifting 80kg rather than three tons.
130b. If you don't have the rating to lift three tons, don't try it. Being a exemplar doesn't automatically guarantee that you can use the thirty ton weights, nor the three ton weights if you're of the less physical disposition
130c. No, you're not allowed to use under-clothes power armour if you're not already capable. That's just cheating.

131. Students in the Whateley Academy JROC program are not allowed to requisition training equipment for pranks. You do not need a fully automatic machine gun loaded with practice rounds for a pretend hostage situation.
131a. On that note, the hostage situation prank is also banned. You shouldn't be surprised when people take it seriously (despite the seltzer water and balloon animals), and security bursts into the classroom alongside the Berlin PD.
131b. No, mind controlling Gunny Bardue to punch himself in the face repeatedly is assault, not a funny prank. You're lucky he's only giving you extra homework and a detention rather than pressing charges

132. Insinuating that something fishy is going on with Poe Cottage will go nowhere. The cottage is for those who need psychological support, not a bloody conspiracy in motion.
132a. Suggesting that all the girls in their are secretly spies for the Grand Order of the Illuminate is just going to make you look crazy.
132b. Suggesting all the boys are the girls agents of the Grand Lesser Order of the Knights Templars is also making you look stupid.
132c. No, you cannot use your super-spy techniques to gather information on the cottage. That would earn you and your club a instant detention in Hawthorne, Ace

133. While flying on commercial airlines, students are now forbidden from using their mind control powers to make the pilot do loop-de-loops midair.
133a. How you managed to get them to do the above act while on the runway without totalling the plane or causing any injuries, loss of life, or damage of property is beyond me, and actually rather impressive. However, this has to stop.
133b. How the hell you did it with the NASA space shuttle is just going to cause problems for my brain. Please. Just stop with the psychic trick flying .
133c. No, that doesn't mean do it with a car
133d. Or a boat.
133e. Or a segway.
133f. Or anything.
133g. Look, stop trying to get around it. Acrobatics with vehicles using mind control is now forbidden. Also, it's already illegal; so stop doing it before you get arrested.

134. Saying that Belphagor stole your homework is no longer a valid excuse.
134a. Nor is saying that you lost in in the 5th dimension.
134b. No, you cannot claim that you come from the far future, where homework is a long-forgotten art. We know you're lying.
134c. This list writer would like to apologise to the time traveller who simply walked into the wrong classroom in the wrong era. We were not aware when you claimed confusion about what homework is.

CrazyMinh wrote:

mhalpern wrote:

CrazyMinh wrote: 109. There is no 109. What are you talking about?


117. Students are reminded that making your own super-soldiers is off the table. Even IF you found willing volunteers, Halo is not a good example of ethical super-soldier creation. Remember that Spartans were KIDNAPPED as children and trained for years to become the invincible- and severely underdeveloped- super-soldiers that they are in those games. If a student is found attempting to create their own Master Chief, be warned that you could be imprisoned for kidnapping among other things.

you were waiting for that one weren't you?


also:

122. Students are not allowed to drive motorcycles off cliffs into their enemies, (even in the sims) just because it would look cool, if there is a tactical practical reason to do so, be ready to write a report on it. note: roosterteeth.com/episode/rwby-volume-6-11

Yes, I did indeed wait quite a while to make that particular reference. Also, damm. That episode teased so much about a Blake x Yang and Ruby x Weiss. Also, double damm. They destroyed Gambol Shoud!! If they even THINK about doing that with Cresent Rose (the very symbol of why RWBY is awesome) fans will riot. Also, triple damm: I liked that motorcycle. I wonder whether they’ll give Yang a new one, or whether they’ll fish the old one out of the river.

The schnee dust company logo branded into Adam’s face was a nice reveal. Although I spent half of that scene thinking it said SOS.

Well Monty did say back in Vol 1 that Gombol Shroud would get upgrades, and they did trade one Bumblebee for another, Ruby was just being herself, I am not going to count that moment as white rose,

124a. No, "The Eye of Argon" is not acceptable either.

135. Students are not allowed to make Surströmming in Home Ec.
135a. No, not even in Extreme Home Ec. Whateley administration has signed the UN BioWarfare Protocols.

136. Bets involving new packs of playing cards and earfuls of cider are forbidden. There are too many ways in which manifestors or warpers can pull that trick off.

(Why, yes, I do watch "The History Guy" on YouTube, why do you ask? While I'd heard the Titanic Thompson quote several times before, the way THG read it just resonated with me.)

137. Rorsmand would like everyone to know that he does not need nor does he want a Death Scythe, and that he is at far more risk of insanity from Metro's ideas of a "good idea" than from his blood (Which IS black, not that it matters.)

138. Smithy and Vapaat Taivas will not transform into a pair of Desert Eagles.
- Not even if you ask nicely, so stop asking them.
- Besides, Metro has his own stockpile of munitions.

139. Please do not encourage Valravn to dissect, or electrocute, your friends and acquaintances.
( What is WRONG with you people? )
( Can't resist, can they? )

140: Students are not allowed to build Hikaru Myoujin a working reflex cannon. If done, the student will be expelled!
(Below it: "Rail guns are still acceptable" in neat elegant handwriting)
141: Students are not allowed to build Hikaru Myoujin any railgun she cannot carry without her using her magical girl strength spell.
(Seriously, Hikaru, I know Kairyuu irritates you, but trying to blow him to the center of the earth for demanding you have a shrine on campus? Too quick. Scrubbing Haththorne's toilets everyday for a month is more agonizing.)

(140 is from Joe...)

142: Students are not allowed to build illegal stills in the tunnels.
142a: We have no knowledge of any still that has been built by a certain devisor. If there was such a still, we'd know.
142b: even IF there was such a still, you're all underage.
142c: In fact, let's make it clear again that the only students who can actually drink alcohol underage are those who actually need to metabolise it. Stop giving your dorm mothers a headache at 3AM!

143. No student is to dress up in a green-n-yellow neoprene watersuit and fight crime. No, not even if you DO actually have superpowers. No, you cannot call yourself Ass-kick.

144. Students are not to ship Mrs. Carson and Ito Sensei. Not because they're uncomfortable with it (which they are), but for your own safety.
144a: Nor Ito Sensei and Imp
144b: Nor Imp and anyone else
144c: Student-shipping is OK. We all know you're going at it like rabbits behind our backs.

145. 1+1 does NOT equal window. What are you, three?

146. Jade is no longer allowed to watch old Disney movies. The plague of animated brooms was a step too far.

147. Students are no longer allowed to attempt bullet jumping. The range personnel would like to remind you that this is both unsafe and impractical in combat.

148: Students are not to snack-raid the Crystal Hall after dark.
148a: No, during the day is also out of bounds.
148b: Why would a solar eclipse be different to day or night from a rules standpoint?
148c: Would the Imp please report to security for questioning?

149. Students are no longer allowed within three meters of the joke shop in Dunwich following yesterday's 'Exploding Fart-scented whipped cream monkey-bot' incident in the Quad. Cleanup is still in process. Don't make me say this again.

150. Students are no longer allowed within twenty meters of the joke shop in Dunwich following yesterday's 'Enhanced Whoopee Cushion Gas Leak' Debacle in the Dunwich Mayors office. The mayor is currently in therapy following the accident. Don't make this happen again folks.

151. I'm not even going to give this airtime. Look, stop with the overblown pranks! It's killing me to write this stuff!!!

152: <sob>

153: Students are no longer allowed to visit Dunwich following the slew of pranks that has occurred within the last three days. This ban is to be considered indefinite, although it can be expected to be lifted once the merry pranksters responsible for this mess own up. This is your last warning.

Biodevisors are strictly forbidden from creating living sex toys.

Schol-R-LEA wrote: Biodevisors are strictly forbidden from creating living sex toys.

However, they are more strictly forbidden from creating dead sex toys.

Undead sex toys are Right Out.

157. The student responsible for the replacement of Gunny Bardue's entire wardrobe with adult-size pink tutus is to report to the principle's office immediately. Fully unclothed.

158. Students are no longer allowed to show members of the magic department any rulebooks for Dungeons and Dragons. We do not need Circe throwing a fit over the idea of Vancian spellcasting.

158a. Students are no longer allowed to play 'Magic: The Gathering' in view of the magic department. With the entire department currently hooked on the game and failing to teach class, the school is in a bit of a pickle to say the least.

159. Devisors are reminded that building your own Dreadnought would require the use of a half-dead genetically engineered warrior from the far future. Students are reminded that crossovers are strictly forbidden.

160. Do not attempt to bungie jump from high orbit. This should be common sense people!

161. This rule is not to be confused with rule 191. Don't read this rulebook upside down people.

162. Anyone attempting to create their own omega 13 device will be condemned to the convention circuit.

163. Students attempting to clone themselves in a effort to escape class are reminded that clones will be considered to be seperate people to the cell donor, and students will be expected to turn in their own individual homework.

164. Students are no longer permitted to perform exploratory surgery on their teachers for any reason.

164a. We would like to take the time to explain that stealing Gunny Bardue's left kidney to sell to medical science is illegal without his permission. He is not pressing charges, but the student responsible should report to Arena 99 immediately.

CrazyMinh wrote: 159. Devisors are reminded that building your own Dreadnought [...]

but... but... Dunwich is land-locked! How...?

(TBH, I don't know which series you are referring to, I just found this funny.)

But she'd look so cool on the lake!

Schol-R-LEA wrote:

CrazyMinh wrote: 159. Devisors are reminded that building your own Dreadnought [...]

but... but... Dunwich is land-locked! How...?

(TBH, I don't know which series you are referring to, I just found this funny.)

Well, I guess a Dreadnought could walk underwater, but they're definitely not designed to exclusively do that.

I remember one person i read about, was making a boat in his attic as it was the only space that he had that was big enough, but he forgot that he would have to get it out, so he ended up cutting a hole in his roof, so that he could remove it.

I can equally imagine a gadgeteer who's focussed on making water-going vessels using the lake as a testing ground for the designs for their smaller boats.

Better hydro-dynamics, and materials for improved-durability/improved-maintainability for boats, is an engineering problem-space that is chewy and profitable.

There's bound to be a gadgeteer somewhere that's working on this.

---

Having the Testing Door also go to somewhere else for proper sea trials, in a similar way to the Testing Door that goes to the Salt Flats, would be an interesting addition to the workshop.

So, it's not out of the question.

Whether there's enough demand for the Whateley Admin to install it, would be the real question.

If a gadgeteer whose area of interest is boats, appears, then with the level of profitability of the patents for this area, it would be worth the expense, so they would probably build it.

As i said to one of my students, even a 1% improvement in engine efficiency, or a 1% improvement in hydro-dynamic flow, would save billions of gallons of fuel.

Those patents would be worth it to Whateley, or to Ayla.

Come to think of it, Gibbs never did explain how he got those five boats he built out of his cellar, did he...

Mister D wrote: As i said to one of my students, even a 1% improvement in engine efficiency, or a 1% improvement in hydro-dynamic flow, would save billions of gallons of fuel.

It would also help the climate, by reducing the amount of carbon byproducts being released.

On a extremely tangential note, I had a argument over Facebook PM the other day with a friend of mine from High School. He's obsessed that there's no such thing as toxic pollution from cars, and that it's all a lie made up by scientists to sabotage the economy. Last I heard, this guy was a practicing lawyer with a big firm in Melbourne, so he's not entirely stupid or a total conspiracy nut. I composed this reply, which I'm happy to share with you in case anyone needs a rebuttal:

OK "smartass". Let me throw you a series of hypotheticals. Say you throw a log on a fire. Now, as I'm sure you remember from our High School chemistry classes, combustion is what makes a fire work. If you've forgotten, fuel + oxygen -> Carbon Dioxide + water. This is a essential chemical reaction, just in case you forgot. Something you learn quite early on. Thus, the log burns, and forms carbon dioxide, water vapour, and plain carbon in the form of ash. We'll get back to these products later

Now, an internal combustion engine- otherwise known as "that thing that makes the car go vroom-vroom" to people like you- runs on exactly this principle. Fuel goes in, oxygen goes in, activation energy (in the form of either high pressure (diesel) or a electrical spark (in Petrol engines) starts the reaction, and the explosion forces the piston in the cylinder down. Thus, car go vroom-vroom, not stop-stop. However, car also go poof-poof out of tailpipe. You know, that little tube that sticks out the rear? I know you drive a car, so don't pretend you've never heard of one.

This tailpipe isn't just there to look pretty and puff some magic smoke occasionally. It's there to vent the by-products of the combustion reaction. Remember that burning log I started this conversation with? It was a log, and now the stuff you can see with your eyes- the things in the front of your face that are probably widening with recognition right now- is a pile of black crumbly stuff called "ash". Say it with me: "aaaassshhh".

That stuff is leftover carbon from the wood. It's also some other stuff, but for the most part, it's carbon. Anyway, there's also the water vapour produced. Forget about the water vapour, it isn't relevant. The big part- the part we care about here- is the Carbon Dioxide, or CO2. It consists of a single carbon atom double bonded to a pair of oxygen atoms. Now, CO2 is toxic to humans. CO2 bad!!! CO2 is processed by plants into oxygen and glucose. You breath oxygen. Oxygen keeps you alive. Remember how breathing works? That's very good!!!

Anyway, that carbon dioxide doesn't just magically disappear into thin air. It has to go somewhere. It's not going into space. Then what would you be breathing? There'd be no air! It doesn't disappear into the ground, at least not to my knowledge. No. It goes into our atmosphere. Some of it gets processed by trees and other plants, but here's the thing: we're cutting down trees. Also, we're using fossil fuels too much...oh wait, did I forget to explain what a fossil fuel is? Silly me, of course a individual such as yourself is far too busy with his job to know what a fossil fuel is! I'll tell you: It's what drives your car around, dumbass!

So, your car burns fossil fuels, and fossil fuels are hydrocarbons (they have hydrogen and carbon. Not that hard). Hydrocarbons burn like anything else to form- and say it with me now- H20 & CO2!!! The H20 isn't all that bad, but the kicker is that car petrol isn't just pure...well...whatever-hydrocarbon-blend-they-use. No! It has other stuff like sulphur, alcohols, or even other types of hydrocarbon! So when you burn it, you get more than just CO2! You get carbon monoxide (also bad for humans), sulphur dioxide (which acidifies rain, causing literal acid to fall from the sky), and a bunch of other things that'll make it harder for you to fill those lungs of yours. Oh, and they also thicken the atmosphere, since CO2 and CO are both better at trapping heat than O2, or oxygen. Oh, and they also cause the oceans to acidify due to a bunch of shenanigans that are too complicated to explain to someone as mentally "gifted" as yourself. That's bad for anything with a shell, since Acid + Carbonate -> salt + CO2 + water. Not table salt, but a salt. Table salt (or sodium chloride (NaCl)) is just one type of salt. This means that those lobster and shellfish that you keep posting pictures of on your page won't have those shells for much longer.

Thus, when you inevitably repeat your immeasurably...let's say "misguided" thinking to others who might be naive enough to believe your speaky-speaks, you can't say that you haven't been informed that what you're saying is completely and utterly wrong. Q. E. D.

Funnily enough, I received a notification saying I'd been blocked by him the next morning. Some people, eh?

Minh, most people would have blocked you at "smartass" instead of suggesting you educate yourself on why the human body works better with carbon dioxide in the air and in the blood.

null0trooper wrote: Minh, most people would have blocked you at "smartass" instead of suggesting you educate yourself on why the human body works better with carbon dioxide in the air and in the blood.

Null, I do get that my tone wasn’t all that good. But you have to understand that this was the tail end of a continuous four-hour argument that started because he took issue with something I posted about the NSW fires. I was too tired of his bullshit to either watch my tone or get the science completely nailed down. Admittedly, I did keep it going longer than I should have; but at this point I was too goddamm annoyed to care. Climate deniers really get on my nerves, simce a lot of what they say is complete unacientific garbage. Some of what I said here was garbage too, but at least I admit I’m a mechatronics engineer, not a chemist. I’ve got a grasp of that area that lingers somewhere between High-School chemistry and first-year uni chemistry. So I’ll defer to you on the CO2 bit. I actually didn’t know that. I doubt he would know either, given that he’s a lawyer.

165. There is to be no more use of manifested Pokemon slave labour. If you want a cold beer, get it yourself
165a. Also, I distinctly remember saying that STUDENTS ARE PROHIBITED FROM DRINKING ALCOHOL BARRING BIOLOGICAL REQUIREMENT!!! How often does this have to be said, people!
165b. No, I'm pretty sure that manifested Pokemon can't get drunk. Even if they could, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT???
165c. The owner of the meth-crazed Raichu currently shorting out the entire power grid, zapping passersby with enough juice to induce seizures, and also squealing loud enough to shatter glass should report to the administration offices immediately. With some rubber gloves and a faraday cage.

166. The staff bathrooms: not a place for storing your killer robots. We've had several scrapes and cuts, a few gunshot wounds, at least three dismemberments, and a teacher got a probe where nothing should ever go inside. Period.
166a. The staff bathrooms: not a place for storing your thermal detonators. We've called the Boston PD Bomb Squad more that sixty times in the past three weeks. Please store your explosive devices elsewhere.
166b. The staff bathrooms: not a place for storing anything that isn't meant to be there. Just don't.
166c. By 'anything that isn't meant to be there', I did not mean store exploding toilet brushes, toilet paper covered with itching powder, man-eating cistern robots, electrified flushing cords, or magical killer mops with extreme attitude.

167. Do not press the big red button. We all know you want to, but don't press the goddam big red button.
167a. You pressed it didn't you?

168. Students are not allowed to use power armour to play football. The incident involving Jericho, a football, the front face of Schuster Hall, and three hundred thousand dollars of repair work does not need repeating.

169. Students using invisibility to stalk other students are reminded that stalking is against the law. I think. Does tribal law cover that? Anyone?

170. Reverend Englund is not to be called 'Reverend England'.

171. Students are not to mention Twilight in the presence of Sarah Waite.
171a. Or Reverend Englund
171b. Or the Goobers
171c. Or anyone, really.

172. Students attempting to insinuate that 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' is racist to vampires will be reminded that 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' is a masterpiece of modern fantasy television, and smearing its name is a punishable offence.
172a. Students with precognition who see a TV show with the initials STD that is potentially related to a certain sci-fi TV franchise are reminded that the future is fluid, and that if such a vile, despicable, unbearably bad show were to be released, it would be a crime against science fiction television.
172b. Students saying they would like a Female Doctor are completely correct. I mean, Dame Judy Dench would be great as The Doctor! So long as they don't hire Jodie Whittaker, everything's just fine!!!
172c. Students who have never heard of Joss Whedon's Firefly are completely insane. Firefly's third season was by far the best. Anyone who thinks it could have possibly been cancelled after only three episodes should head to ARC to be checked for any loose screws in the noggin region.

173. DO NOT attempt CPR if you don't know what you're doing. The tragic "Lung Inflation Incident" the other week has resulted in another lawsuit. Fortunately, we have good lawyers. For us. Not for the student responsible for the accidental overinflation of the human respiratory system.

Hey Jodie is good

174. Jade is not allowed to give people parts of herself in jars, even if she has already regenerated said part.

174a. Not even as an apology. Even if you were very sorry. Send flowers like a normal person.

174b. Neither as appetizers dammit Jade, unless you want us to revoke the exemption for Bio-Regenetics? I thought not.