Question "Jayden/Crossover" Discussion Thread

OK. So, Null0trooper started a discussion about the first two parts of the Jayden saga Abridged Worlds. So, to people looking to post stuff in there: Don't. From now on, this thread is the author-approved discussion thread. If you don't like it, deal with it [puts sunglasses on]. Damm, mucked up the timing on that one BUT ANYWAY!!!

[ahem]...Ok. So to get started on this thread,I'd like to put some stuff up that was MEANT to go into the stories, but ended up being cut from the text. I'm going to do this story by story, so yeah. Note that since I don't keep the cut text handy (and that (despite my eidetic memory) I cannot remember what the exact text was) and therefore this will simply be a few synopsisi (what's the plural of synopsis: can anyone tell me?) of the cut sections. Note that you should of read up to Whateley of Warcraft Part 2 of 4 to understand what has happened so far. The chronological list of the stories as of 4th November 2017 is Abridged Worlds parts 1 & 2, followed by Crossover the Line, followed by the first 2 parts (of four total) of Whateley of Warcraft.

Abridged Worlds Part 1
- After Jayden appears, there was a extended section describing the grounds of the Arkam Research Consolidation HQ. This section (erroneously) described it (paraphrased of course) as 'A big fat hill with a massive victorian building on it'. Since a) we have no idea whether it's on a flat section of ground (which would make sense) or on a flat-topped hill (which would also make sense with the exception of the ponds and rock gardens); and b) the building is a combination of colonial (not victorian) asylum and glass/steel building; I changed this section to avoid conflicting too much with the canon account of the grounds. There was also a fence nearby, which I cannot remember including in the final version. There was also going to be a massive satellite dish (think radio telescope), but I decided that even though the consolidation must need a communications system for their orbital space station, that was overdoing it on a massive scale, even for 10 years ago with better technology. So, yeah. That was pretty 'phew!' in terms of corrections.
- Originally, Sara was there for some...less sensible purpose. TO put it in another way, she was there to 'search the cosmic waves for....' yeah. I stopped there cause it was going to get stupider. Anyway, she remained in the final version as a minor cameo (sorry to Dr. Bender there for not asking permission: I'm still not sure whether I need to ask to just include a recurring character from the canonity (canon continuity = canonity. I invented that, let that be remembered) as a minor, non-speaking or interacting appearance. Well, Tennyo speaks. But I'm NOT doing that again). So I ended up retaining her as a nothing-ever-comes-of-this thing: Dr Otto introduces her to Jayden so that Jayden would have a easily recognisable (and familiar as a result) face at Whateley if he had problems. As a result of Jayden's self-sufficient nature and headstrong attitude, he'll probably never do anything that requires Sara's help or even talk to her. So, that's a throwaway.

Abridged Worlds Part 2
-Originally, the scene with Ivy was longer, and featured more back and forth before Jayden pulled a 'we come in peace; shoot to stun (pun intended fully)' moment there. As a result, the 'how about a nap' is a little bit off, because there was a bit where Jayden asked whether he was getting enough sleep (you had to be there when I was writing it to get it) before the bully (who will remain unnamed for now, he's a throwaway character) acted rather uncharacteristically in answering with a very passive statement. So as a result, I simply just cut the middle bit, and left that as a heroic one-liner.
- Ivy was orignally intended to be a lot more sloppy, but I though that that was a bit too...well, sexist. I'm male, and I can be extremely sloppy sometimes. Anyway, she clears up pretty quickly in the final one, and (as a side note) acts nothing like Louise Lane
- Speaking of which, the Louise Lane comment earlier by the bully was meant to lead on into the above section, and also factor into the later sections.
- While we're talking about Ivy, she was originally going to be a totally once-off character. I named her funnily enough by combining te first name of one of my classmates back when I was in high school with the last name of my English Teacher. As a result, she is...kinda a special character. I didn't particularly like the teacher or annoying classmate, but it still means that I couldn't just throw her out the metaphorical window into the abyss of extras. So, I gave her a role as part of Jayden's gang, which later expands to include two other floor-mates a Melville (at least as far as I plan). She was also powerless until I wrote her next appearance, as she didn't need listed powers to be a extra.
- Until I realised that I'd passed the point where I should of left off, Part 2 was meant to be longer and extend into Sunday. There was going to be a scene with a pissed off Reverend Englund, but then I realised that my very antireligious views might piss some of the people on this site off. Not the views themselves, but the way in which Jayden...interacts with the Chaplain or whatever the hell he is. Personally, I think the character is a dick. But, he does have some redeeming moments in the canon.

Crossover the Line
- This story was originally meant to go under a different name, and featured GEO (this was later changed to a later story, the following 4 parter Whateley of Warcraft). Anyway, originally, the breakfast scene involved all of the Power Rangers, but was changed to just include the motorbike-obsessed one. Anyway, the scene originally involved Jayden pulling out gifts of Pokèballs, Gate Keys, Elucidators and Kabi blades (referencing Pokemon, Fairy Tail, Sword Art Online and Knights of Sidonia) causing the Weeaboo Reality-Impaired people to get even more excited. There was also a bit with the pokemon manifestor one peeing himself in overexcitement. BUT ANYWAY, that was both fortunately (unbecoming of character peeing) and unfortunately (lack of more references) cut from the published version
- On a side note, the battle was originally going to be a three-way between the Motorbike One, the Pokemon One and the Battlesuit one, but ended up being a duel at High-One-Oh-Clock. Due to this, there is a...distinct lack of action apart from a non-lethal motorbike crash and a bit of physics explantation that unfortunately skirts some of the reasons why in reality this wouldn't work. Luckily for me, Jayden's a warper and maybe (not saying this is true or confirming anything to come) he can slightly warp probability. Luckily for the people who were fearing a mary sue twist there, the Mary Sue machine read the Worlds Funniest Joke and died. This then started Joke War III, which involved the use of Intercontinental Ballistic Jokes, and caused the entire of the Planet of Mary Sueness to die laughing. Thank goodness for Monty Python there!!!

Whateley of Warcraft Part 1
- I was originally going to Introduce GEO here, but that got pushed to part 2. But still, nothing else got removed from this bit.

Whateley of Warcraft Part 2
- Originally, there was going to be a bit more about Biskit. You see, I used to have this imaginary friend. And yes, I'm pulling a Doctor Who reference here. He was called Biskit, and I was about 5 years old. He was a robot, and this was one of the reasons I'm studying Mechatronic Engineering right now at Uni. Anyway, when I was 7, my mum bought me a soft toy shaped like a dog, who I named Biskit. As a result, Biskit (the robot) became a dog, who then got lost somewhere between the age of 10 and the age of 12. So now I (in my mid 20's) have resurrected my old friend, reimagined him as a character, and stripped away most (if not all) of the childish sentiment. He is now a witty, wisecracking AI in the body of a highly advanced robot who helps Jayden hack into stuff and basically carry of the great online tradition of doing things 'for the lolz'. And I've been writing ever since. Ha!!! Take that Karen Gillian!!! Better than your monologue!!! OK, I'm off track. Anyway, the bit about Biskit was meant to be a bit where Jayden realises that he may of taken too much in at once. This was meant to fit in just before Rasputin leaves the room. This would of resulted in Jayden being late for his next class due to rapid alteration of the blueprints.
- There was meant to be a bit with Rasputin that revealed a bit about his history. Think of the name. It may not just be a codename...Oops, spoiled it now. Damm, I need to get some sort of alarm. Since the Red Alert Bulb is broken, maybe use the Yellow Alert (someone in trouble: not you) one to signal spoilers?
- References. It was cut so badly of references that the only ones still in there are a homage to LotR (the Capital for the Evil Faction in the story shares the name of the Dark Tower from Lord of the Rings) and a brief mention of Destiny via the name of the hand cannon. I need to stop putting so many references from that game in here. It's really getting too much!!!
- The battle scene was originally going to be a rehash of something out of the 1992 movie Under Siege (the battleship from which I have had the awesomeness of touring while I was on holiday at Pearl Harbour), with Jayden and his soon-to-be guild hiding in the winding streets of the chaotic city, and waging a prolonged war against the invaders. This was to extend into part three, but I decided that Jayden was already late enough for dinner without having to play late into the night.

Anyway, that's all for now. See you later Crystal hall!!! Remember, use this thread now. Null0trooper, thanks for that thread, but this one has the right name. See ya all later!!!

Remember that ARC has sites all over the planet, and a lot in the USA, so it would be possible to hand-wave the differences in descriptions as being, just the site that Jayden saw, and, not the sites that Sara, et al, were visiting. Add in the "different buildings on the same campus" angle, and it shouldn't be an issue.

It might be worth referring to the Josie Gilman/Ecila stories, for one example of how cross-dimensional travel was treated by ARC, though that could also be hand-waved by "procedures that were done for their own safety/others' safety, whilst they were unconcious". It's a trope that can work, though you don't want to overplay it.

Looking forward to your next work.

Anyhow, in 7 days time I will be in Tasmania, so I'm going to add a bit more about Jayden. I got a real facepalm moment when I realised I hadn't described some important things within my stories. Then I realised that I hadn't given Jayden much of a defined backstory. At the same time, I realised that a) Almost no one has posted in this thread; and b) I haven't gotten any questions regarding my Jayden storyline. So that ends now. 1. I'm going to list the things I forgot to include that should be there to give depth to the story. 2. I'm going to ask whether people have a desire to take Jayden out of the fill-in-reader-defined-appearance category and give him a actual "WhatIf canonical" appearance other than 'he's Australian' and 'white'. 3. Please SOMEONE PLEASE DISCUSS SOMETHING HERE; and 4. Ask some questions PLEASE!!! I'm getting annoyed that no one has asked any questions about my writing. It's the same on fanfiction, and apparently ~270 people read my stories about 600 times a month there (according to the statistics system). So please, get some comments down, and ask questions. It would be nice to know the people liking my story aren't just talking out of their ass!!!

Jayden 3: Whateley of Warcraft (Part 4)


One problem with this chapter. Geo is cannon uncrackable. Even by the best if the world. Not by Mutant super geniuses, AIs, or tecnopaths.
Word of wiki is it could be a device. My opinion is it could be even more than that. (Virtual tesseract?)

Behind the Scenes info for Whateley of Warcraft (Part 4):
- Yes, GEO is uncrackable. What Biskit did was run through every possible password and username for the moderators, then do the same for the other player, before logging into Jayden's account and setting the offline activities moving his player out of confinement and to a safe place. This technically isn't hacking the game itself, only using the user side of things.
- I was originally going to add appearances from Alex and Ivy, seeing as they are two of the four main characters for these stories. However, this chapter was kinda a mess, as I had sporadically written it over many months. The end result needed a lot of cleaning, and I thought that adding more of the main cast would overcomplicate things too much.
- There was also going to be more of a story involving the Dark Tower references, but I decided that I wouldn't write that properly, and would end up with Jayden looking more like a Mary Sue than he already looks like. Trust me, I'm still not hung up on whether the character even appears to be a MS, but I'm pretty sure that he is. Comments anyone?
- When I was writing Biskit in, I managed to find my old friend buried at the bottom of a cardboard box in my storage unit. I pulled him out, and sat him on the table beside me when I was writing this chapter. He's a little dusty, but he'll be OK. Anyway, a lot of his lines were written while he was sitting next to me.
- The 'Rating 12 Paradox' was one of my favourite parts of writing this. It allowed me to add a awesome power to a otherwise undeveloped character, as well as introduce a major character flaw that I could bring into stories later on. It also allowed me to set up a (possible) romance between Jayden and Isabelle. Not saying anything's going to happen yet. I haven't planned that far ahead
- The GEO thing will crop up in later stories, but only as a mention. I don't intend it to become a regular setting. Like the holodeck episodes in Star Trek, it will be a occasional vacation from the standard format of each story.

Thats all for now. Oh, I'm asking the Author of the Xanadu stories if they would allow me to have a cameo from Xanadu in my next story???

Just to chime in:

Initially, when I read Abridged Worlds Part 1, I left with an impression about how this was gonna be some super OP thing, where Jayden has so much knowledge and stuff.

But on thinking about it, I assume it'll be a more humbling story, about what happens to him when he's lost all his preparation, and has to start from scratch!

Soo cool, if I'm right!