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Question If I Had A Hammer Discussion

5 years 5 months ago #1 by null0trooper
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  • Part One is up. Part Two needs a read-through for things spell-check doesn't catch.

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    5 years 5 months ago - 5 years 5 months ago #2 by Malady
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  • Part 1 [ Click to expand ]


    ----

    Part 2 [ Click to expand ]
    Last Edit: 5 years 5 months ago by Malady.
    5 years 5 months ago #3 by null0trooper
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  • Malady wrote: The jump from "After the Trip" to "Before the Trip" threw me for a bit, until I started paying attention to dates.

    Maybe use section markers? *shrugs*


    The Early August segment was supposed to be a dream/vision. That's why I indented it entirely, but with the scene shift that could be jarring.

    Malady wrote: Still a great story, got a timeline anywhere? Although I think I am reading in publishing order.


    Part One of "If I Had A Hammer" runs concurrently with "Chewing Through The Straps" stopping right before All Hallows Eve and the on-campus part of "Pictures of You".


    Malady wrote: Not done rereading, but this isn't Elve, speaking at the end, right? 'Cause she isn't in the room?

    "We went over the new gear yesterday, including the institutionalized paranoiac measures. Nice try but you'll have to do better going forward."

    Rorsmand felt entirely justified in calling up Elve afterward to verify that she knew what the Insane Duo had asked her roommate to work with.

    Once the distraught boy finally paused for breath – and surely there were better outlets for that kind of breath control? – Elve asked, "Are you referring to the chosen power supply in place of mains power?"


    Yep. Elve's doing this rare thing called "studying" :) Kris is still a bit torqued off at Frick and Frack, so he stomped off and called her.


    Malady wrote:

    One night while watching Abelyn at work, in her element, Kristian Holm came to the beginnings of a conclusion that maybe it wasn't a trick of the lighting that made her as beautiful as she was.


    Awwww! *heart*


    :) Abbie isn't "conventionally pretty", but everyone should be seen as themselves in their home environment once in a while.


    Malady wrote:

    isn't the fire meant to stay inside the forge?


    Nice opening header thing!


    Thanks! The fire doesn't stay there, but that's half the fun.

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    5 years 5 months ago #4 by Malady
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  • Gotta sleep, but have this:

    Nice integration of canon characters into your story, making appearances and stuff!
    5 years 5 months ago - 5 years 5 months ago #5 by null0trooper
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  • Malady wrote: Still a great story, got a timeline anywhere? Although I think I am reading in publishing order.

    Does this help?



    DateStoryEvent
    10,950 BCE--Asteroid impact in Greenland.
    Beginning of the Younger Dryas
    Clovis culture collapses
    Impactor recorded at Gobekli Tepe
    Last remnants of Hyperborea buried
    7000 BCE--Rhine, Thames, Meuse drain into estuary to become the English Channel
    6225–6170 BCECTTSThe Giants Dance / An earthquake triggers the Storegga Slides
    912 CECTTSNear Djúra-bý. Narfi Halfdan murdered by Vali Wulfhereson
    915 CECTTSNorþworþig, Candlemas. Death passes Ælfred Wealhsone by
    Feast of All Souls, 951 CECTTSDeoraby. Vali Wulfhereson dies
    Autumn, 1241CTTSSnorri Sturluson dies and is received in Hel, dines with Narfi and Vali
    1992CTTSHanna Declan born
    April 1, 1993POYRorsmand born
    Oct. 19, 1993/2059CTTSMathias Møller / Mads born (It's complicated)
    1995POYLars born
    Summer, 2003CanonA series of murders near Springfield, IL includes one of Ayla Goodkind's cousins.
    August, 2003CTTSAn Anglo-Danish family, the Møllers, disappears.
    2004/2074POYMama Bear is one of the survivors of a hostile extraction with prejudice. Dr. Evelyn Beaulieu becomes Mads Gunnison's primary physician.
    2005/2075POYEvelyn granted custody of Lars Gunnison.
    Spring 2006POYDeclan family biletted at Fort Bragg, NC
    Spring 2007POY, otherRorsmand manifests
    July 2077/2007CTTSMaj. Mads Gunnison warned about an upcoming/continuing threat.
    July 31, 2077/2007CTTSGunnison transferred to England, a courier drop is on the itinerary.
    August 01CTTSDunwich, NH: Deputy Sheriff Wednesday rushes a teen to Doyle Trauma Center.
    Afghanistan: Thomas Hrafn Jensen, CPL, CDF, age 25 MIA/KIA
    Friday, August 10CTTSChewing Through The Straps begins. Thomas H. Jensen bunking in Twain.
    Thursday, August 16CTTSMads Jensen transferred to Hawthorne Cottage for ongoing outpatient care.
    Sunday, August 19CTTSMads visits Dillon Chapel, refuses to enter.
    Monday, August 20CTTSMads' first UV check-in
    Tuesday, August 21CTTSMads begins training with Security to knock out some easy courses.
    --IIHAHAbbie's parents meet with Mrs. Carson
    Monday, August 27CTTSEarly AM bug-hunt. Delarose and Carson are not amused.
    --IIHAHAbbie runs into Mads at Dr. Tenent's office
    August 28CTTSDecision to take "Underwater Basket-Weaving" in place of BMA.
    August 29IIHAHAbbie meets new roommate, Elve Järvinen, from Helsinki.
    ----Rorsmand bumps into Mads. Good thing they were already at Doyle.
    September 1CanonFirst Assembly and Picnic.
    --CTTSMads meets Ayla on trip to Dunwich to get clothing fitted
    Tuesday, September 4CTTSFirst Day of Classes! 1st period: Abbie is stuck next to a pyro.

    3rd period: Metro volunteers to MST translate American History.
    4th period: The foreign guy sitting next to Abbie in English is kind of cute.
    6th period: Some mats in the Dojo catch fire, one student sent to Doyle.
    Wednesday, September 5CTTSBloodwolf and the Exploding Skunk.
    Mads volunteers himself to debrief a Dos Amigas road trip
    Thursday, September 6CTTSSpy Kidz bug Metro's room. Metro discusses this with Sir Wallace
    Friday September 7IIHAHElve's Powers Testing. Abbie and Tira go over American History MST
    Sunday, September 9IIHAHAbbie dreams about her parents' death
    Monday, September 10IIHAHAbbie sees Dr. Bellows
    Tuesday, September 11CTTSMetro's bunking in Doyle
    Wednesday, September 12CTTSSpy Kidz way-lay Metro. It doesn't go well.
    --IIHAHFirst Light in the blacksmith's shop.
    Saturday, Sept 15CTTSMetro helps a witch out of a tree, almost breaks knee
    Monday, September 17IIHAHMetro on crutches
    Tuesday, Sept 18CTTSBluejay gets what's coming to him
    --IIHAHSmithy and Mads talk knives
    September 19CTTSMetro takes on job for Sir Wallace
    Thursday, September 20CanonAssembly of the Shrines
    --CTTSSpy Kidz get a challenge assignment to demonstrate their professionalism
    --IIHAHAbbie asks Kristian to study w/ her and Elve at 7 in Library
    September 21CTTSVamp takes on counter-surveillance job for Sir Wallace
    September 22CTTSMetro wards Nikki and Tony's room, argues with Valravn, and breaks up an incident with Centurion & Switchblade, rescue Interface posing as Hardwyrd
    September 24CTTSMetro's back in Powers Testing;
    Circe conducts the magical testing herself, Phase present for the experience;
    Metro's doppelganger Mathias Møller is tentatively located in Springfield, IL;
    Permission to investigate granted;
    Siofra and Metro check in on Donna Fields
    September 25CTTSMads has one of his bad nights
    September 27CTTSAgustin 'Telluride' Garcia Rodriguez recruited for Springfield trip; Metro reviews his plans with Bardue and Carson
    Friday, September 28IIHAHMads tries to pay Abbie the remainder for the ordered metalwork, Admits he might not come back from the weekend trip.
    September 29CTTSMad, Thomas, and Gus go to Springfield
    September 30CTTSSpringfield, IL: Metro and company find something. Metro's now on the run. Thomas sees Gus to the local airport, then tries to follow Mads.
    ??CTTSHelvegr: Mads confronts his pursuer in the waters of River Gjöll. Returns to the Iron Wood, Jotunheim
    October 1CTTSSecurity brings a Mythos-traumatized Telluride back from Boston
    --IIHAHRorsmand already not coping.
    October 3IIHAHAbbie researches what she's being asked to work with
    Thursday, October 4CTTSMetro's been missing too long, Rorsmand's ready to blow a gasket
    Friday, October 5CTTSFenrir Lokisson has a talk with his paternal uncle in a Dunwich diner;
    Bigby Woolfe visits Whateley Academy to pick up Mads' and Thomas' homework and see who's been nosing around his pack. Rorsmand not impressed by person nosing around his. Bloodwolf gets pasted in Arena 77.
    Saturday, October 6CTTSHomework! Meet the Wolf Clan
    Wednesday, October 10thCTTSFrick and Frack manage to return to campus during tail end of a storm. Multiple debriefings.
    Thursday morning, October 11thCTTSBack in Class!
    Friday, October 12thCTTSVamp's and Metro's critiques of the Spy Kids' performance delivered to Sir Wallace.
    Sunday, October 14IIHAHMads hits a ward.
    October 15CTTSEvening sim run w/Vindicators
    Tuesday, October 16IIHAHSafety briefing, jerks!
    Thursday, October 18CTTSMads returns Tink to Whitman
    Friday, October 19IIHAHWork really starts on Valravn's athame. It is way cool.
    Thursday, October 25IIHAHThomas consecrates his blade.
    Friday, October 26POYFamilies converge for Parents Day
    --IIHAHValravn is dragged to sick call.
    October 27, 2007, Parent's DayPOYMads has a productive morning. Agent Mikkel Andersen? Not so much. Surprises all around.
    October 29IIHAHProf. Choudhari sees a woman about a knife. Abbie confronts Mads about his plans.
    All Hallows Eve, October 31Canon--
    All Souls Day, Friday, November 2POYCousin Brigitte visits with Janine Richter, BTFO's Rev. Englund.
    --IIHAHCousin Brigitte and Smithy discuss life, death, blacksmithing
    Saturday, November 3POYEvelyn and Lars depart for home
    Sunday, November 11CanonVeterans Day (US), Remembrance Day (Canada, UK)
    --IIHAHMads' pig-sticker gets finished all right. Abbie meets Inaam.
    November 12CanonRemembrance Day, observed (Canada)
    --IIHAHAbbie and Thomas talk
    November 19IIHAHMads pops the question.
    Turkey Day, November 22IIHAHThomas can skate, hockey happens.
    November 27IIHAHMetro books some training time in Arena 91. Doesn't tell the others he invited some guests.
    November 28IIHAHRorsmand takes training way too seriously
    December 3IIHAHSmithy vs. Centurion and Switchblade
    December 4IIHAHVapaat Taivas vs. Superchick.
    Friday, December 7IIHAHAM: Rormand v. Ticonderoga and Abbie saw the whole thing
    Saturday, December 8IIHAHRorsmand's father arrives
    Sunday, December 9IIHAHAbbie goes to church. Mads has a broken jaw.
    Thursday, December 13IIHAHEnd of Term Ball.
    Friday, December 14IIHAHAbbie sees the guys off from Whateley

    CTTS: Chewing Through The Straps
    POY: Pictures of You
    IIHAH: If I Had A Hammer

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    Last Edit: 5 years 5 months ago by null0trooper. Reason: Events update
    5 years 5 months ago #6 by NJM1564
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  • "Earlier in the Fall 2007 Term, 6th Period Magical Theory Class,
    Kirby Hall, Whateley Academy

    Unfortunately for her peace of mind, Ophelia 'Caduceus' Tenent, MD, was once again called out from class for a medical emergency as a result of 6th Period Basic Martial Arts. This wasn't to say that the Class of 2011 was unusually rambunctious or accident-prone, compared to the Kimba Class of 2010,"


    This part doesn't make any since. Is it year 2007 like it's stating in the opening. Or 2011 like in the paragraph.
    5 years 5 months ago #7 by null0trooper
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  • NJM1564 wrote: "Earlier in the Fall 2007 Term, 6th Period Magical Theory Class,
    Kirby Hall, Whateley Academy

    Unfortunately for her peace of mind, Ophelia 'Caduceus' Tenent, MD, was once again called out from class for a medical emergency as a result of 6th Period Basic Martial Arts. This wasn't to say that the Class of 2011 was unusually rambunctious or accident-prone, compared to the Kimba Class of 2010,"

    This part doesn't make any since. Is it year 2007 like it's stating in the opening. Or 2011 like in the paragraph.


    Whateley's a four-year school. It's Fall 2007, so the incoming freshman are in the (graduating) Class of 2011, just as all of TK started as freshmen the previous year and will graduate in June 2010.

    Class of XXXX refers to the expected year of graduation, whether it's High School or College.

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    5 years 5 months ago #8 by null0trooper
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  • Caught up to December , more or less.

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