Question Let the Storm Rage On Discussion

whateleyacademy.net/index.php/forum/fabr...et-the-storm-rage-on

So... felt like my Icy snippets where turning into a real story, so I'm gonna start posting them in the Fabrication Lab.

So, Devilmaster's arrested... How's Lindsey and the rest of his family gonna handle that? ... Well, I guess it's one of the risks you take as a supervillain... And he might be freed by a Syndicate Prison Rescue Crew...

***

Wonder what Icy's doing right now...

***

Nice title reference!

Malady wrote: So, Devilmaster's arrested... How's Lindsey and the rest of his family gonna handle that? ... Well, I guess it's one of the risks you take as a supervillain... And he might be freed by a Syndicate Prison Rescue Crew...

Likely not good once she hears, as check the dates...
As for escaping, Meh, I don't think he'll have much trouble.

Malady wrote: Wonder what Icy's doing right now...

So do I really.
Should go a bit easier next week, I got a bunch of the Winx club seasons from my library.

Malady wrote: Nice title reference!

Thanks. Been playing the Frozen sound track while trying to write.

-makes face- I hate it when I realize after i post something I made a mistake; I forgot to take into account the time zone difference between New Hampshire and LA for Lindsey's call to her father.

Cryptic wrote: -makes face- I hate it when I realize after i post something I made a mistake; I forgot to take into account the time zone difference between New Hampshire and LA for Lindsey's call to her father.

I was like, "What? There was an update?!?!" ... And then I was like "No, he/she's talking about the already posted part. ... This part:"

Just as he was reaching for his phone it began to ring, playing the tune he had programmed in for his daughter. “Lindsey? Hey, slow down, what's wrong?” he asked, the hardened black magic wizard falling away to reveal the loving father within. “Ok, take a deep breath...”

A crack like a cannon going off drowned out what ever Lindsey was trying to tell him, and as he spun around the phone dropped from his hand.

“Daddy? Daddy, what's wrong?”

... And now I'm like, "New Hampshire? Why would she be calling from there? ... OH! It's the Wondercute X Star League Final! That's what's going on with Lindsey! ... Oh shit. Especially with how he got cut off from his call... She's gonna be so worried!"

... Is it 'Lindsey' or 'Lindsay'??

***

What is the time difference?

Google wrote: New Hampshire, USA is 3 hours ahead of Los Angeles, CA, USA
10:45 AM Saturday, in New Hampshire, USA is
7:45 AM Saturday, in Los Angeles, CA, USA

Well, King's Horses is pretty vague, just saying Late Evening... There's wiggle room... How late is Late Evening... And does Devilmaster's spell have some temporal component... Like maybe needing to be cast at Sunset... But, apparently not.

***

Just that we needed this.” he confessed as he spun her around and kissed her soundly on the lips. As they did so Brian's thoughts drifted to the small velvet box hidden in his suit case.

Oh! They're getting married! Aww! How sweet!

***

Wait... How did Icy leave the scene? Through the sewers like Devilmaster tried to do, but in her case, the evidence of her passing evaporated or something? ... Ice Castle is gonna appear somewhere... But where...

Edits made to part 1 for typos and me forgetting Amber lacks the most common superpower.

Part 2 posted. Not 100% happy with how Icy picks up her minion. Gonna go back and play with it later. Also, if anyone has suggestions on what the spirit that creates trolls looks like, I'm open fr ideas as I don't like the rocks, slime and leeches.

Interesting... Mister Cool's gonna get arrested? Or he's gonna freeze his way out and Icy'll take advantage of his ice?

How does she even have the ability to sense those that Cobb messed with? I guess it's the power of the non-Ice spirit that she got?

A 'ketch'... Do you mean a 'fetch' or something else?

Lol at the fate of Skyrider's sandwich!

Mm, yeah I wanted Fetch instead of Ketch, Not sure what I was thinking for that mix up.

The sensing the dormant spirit thing is one of the issues I'm having with that scene. While it is plausible the devil spirit is what is telling her that, it feels like an ass pull to me now that I have had time to think about it. Kind of thinking I'm just either gonna switch it to Icy showing up on Darcy's door step, or making the mugger some kind of mutant she dominates.

Icy knows where Darcy lives?

Malady wrote: Icy knows where Darcy lives?

Thinking brute force seeker spell.

Edits made to the recruitment scene. It's better... still needs work.

I have another scene coming along nicely, should be up Saturday or Monday depending on how my weekend goes. I really like the scene I'm working on for some reason.

Interesting! ... So, icy's gonna sorta literally sniff out Darcy and Stormy? ... Stormy's gonna be tricky, 'cause she's got her dad around to help out?

Malady wrote: Interesting! ... So, icy's gonna sorta literally sniff out Darcy and Stormy? ... Stormy's gonna be tricky, 'cause she's got her dad around to help out?

Still working out the second question, and prety much Yes for the first.

Update!

I admit I may have pushed the line with the Mr C/Amber scene, but damned if Amber isn't channeling Harley a tad while I write her.

Here's my notes, 'cause it's mainly a typo report with notes when I find something funny or of note:

drive.google.com/open?id=0B_ZzOVhZ7xFmZU9Ud2VzUTV3bzg

Malady wrote: [Lol when she explained the rings! And so he's not preposing, but he is invessting a lot in her...]

Not-Buster [Like this!]

[Oh! It's Chiller who's managing the base! Who's a kid! Right! ... I wonder if he'll manage to find an escape route... He's pretty smart!]

Yeah, I like Not-Buster too.

Brian is investing more then he knows with the jewelry...

Ok, maybe that bit with Chiller home along at the base is a bit of a stretch....

Updates!!!

Yes, I put Icy in Elsa's Sexy Dress, she demanded it.

Oh hey! You put in the Frozen opening song at the beginning! Nice!

Yep. Elsa Dress! ... Perhaps put "power up" as one word "powerup" ? 'Cause I was confused until I went to when she said Demonix.

... Ice servants... Making one cook isn't gonna melt them or something? Or is it?

... So Icy's crew is gonna frame Chiller for the ritual remnants or something? Doesn't seem like it... OH! Mind control of all known ice-users?

... Anna? Reference to Frozen's Anna, I assume? Just a name reference? Or further? How's she gonna relate to the story, I wonder... Does the last name have Meaningfulness? ... She's a Doctor...

but they're set in 30% pure mithril which plates a core of regular silver.”

Holy SHIT! Yeah, you got them at a steal, Mister Cool!


Woah. Well, that was... Umm... Interesting, Amber...

I wonder if Icy will be hunting down Amber for the Mithril? :eww:

The distorted speech from Amber was a tiny bit tricky to get, but after a few passes, I got what she said... Maybe stick at the end in a spoiler box? Or not?



"Jody Putt", that's another reference, isn't it? ... The Rubber chicken isn't a reference to the rubber chicken icebomb Amber used against an MCO agent? As said in her Wiki page?

It's a Cobb drone, she doesn't care if it melts. And I figure she has the air conditioner on as low as it goes. I figure she doesn't feel cold at this point, though I haven't found the place to drop that line.

Honestly, I'm not sure what she's gonna do with Chiller. Maybe use him to draw out Bru and Kate...

Anna Patile was just cause Frozen and Harry Potter were on my mind, and I needed a name for an OC doctor. She's something like third generation Indian (as in the subcontinent), used to work for Glady Wilkins on the east coast until the old goat had a hissy and got her medical license revoked and made the poor girl run for her life. The Syndicate saw that what happened wasn't her fault and is helping her get back on her feet.

Yes, yes he did. He still doesn't know just how much of a steal.
No Icy will not be after her for the jewelry. Amber will be keeping them.

And yes Jody Putt is a reference just like Bert Mallard was on. Just not one you have to unscramble; Jody Putt is the name of one of Marvel's Jesters.

Well, that'd be Patil , not Patile... Unless that was intentional, of course.

Malady wrote: Well, that'd be Patil , not Patile... Unless that was intentional, of course.

No that was a goof. thanks.

On the cooking Ice-Cobb, if it melts, then it can't cook, but then I guess she'd have Hector cook for her or something, then...

Oh, The Gimp and his chicken is a reference to the Spank from Super Redundant Heroes. superredundant.com/?page_id=1740

Edits made to the black clinic scene, and Icy;s wake up. Was not happy with Amber's behavior with the doc. Yes I think she might be willing to try and swing that way, I think Brian would have to suggest it. So I made it a little more playful.

Question; do I keep the Chiller/MCO/Hollywood All Star mess, or have Icy snag Chiller another way?

I think the Chiller part is fine the way it is? How did they find Chiller, though?

Malady wrote: I think the Chiller part is fine the way it is? How did they find Chiller, though?

Hector got lucky and snagged him as he came out of one of Swash's bolt holes. Which I will cover in an upcoming installment.

Oh Jade is so gonna hate me/Amber... Amber wants Giggle Girl as her villain Identity.

Update!!
Having a little fun with Sunny.

Cool. Pun not intended.

Updates, pretty pretty updates!
I did a bit of a rewrite so I posted the rest of the Meet the Gang scene and the new stuff as an Edit to my last post.

Malady, Ignore the where/were issues, I'll deal with them when I have this ice ball wrapped up.

Cryptic wrote: Malady, Ignore the where/were issues, I'll deal with them when I have this ice ball wrapped up.

Ignoring "Were where"... Not gonna make a "Where wolf" joke. Although, I am gonna note that I got a ad for Beautiful Russian Women... I guess 'cause Ice and Snow and Russia? Sorta relevant??

Recruiting! ... Auto-translation seems a bit OP... Cops and Doughnuts! Or Donuts. Whatever.

Rescue Mission by Villains! Very Interesting! Hmm... People on Ice... Perfect Pawns for Icy to take control of? Does that even make sense with Whateley rules?

It's not like the plots have to run together though...

Darcy ... her step-father and her unbelieving mother. Step was a surgeon to the wanna be stars, waiting for one of his projects to make it big so he could ride their stitches to the spot light, who could and did bring home very young bimbetts to share the bed with him and her mother. Or with her.

That is consensual, right? Else I'm thinking abuse... Which would be worse than Cobb. I think?

But that's some cool writing! Pun not intended.

Are they even gonna try and get Stormy? Best not to have an unwilling servant...

Oh! Heart Freeze threat is Frozen Reference! Nice!

Yeah Frozen references keep slipping in.

Next cut away to the Crusaders will deal with them hunting for Icy and Chiller.

And yeah I thought Rescue by Villain a nice twist.

Regarding Cobb's Monsters, they all have stories. Some are like the ghoul girl who's name I'm blanking on, and they're snatched from a decent life, and others where on the street, or things where crap for them before they where grabbed. I'm figuring some how the spirits they got weren't randomly chosen, but somehow fit the psudo-avatar they here shoved into. Or they were chosen in some cases to be a poor match. For some reason I see Ghoul Girl as being a vegetarian before being put into the machine and becoming a humanitarian.

I haven't forgotten this, I'm just having issues weaving together the Icy plot with the B plot and there was casting issues... Darn Ice Queen is such a freaking diva!

Most queens are divas silly. Comes with the crown.

Hoping to start post revised content next week. I FINALLY almost sort of have a freaking Sidhe sounding name that I like.

I feel both very lazy and very productive; Lazy because it has taken me how long to edit and revise 20 some pages? And yet while I maybe added a page of writing in total, I feel productive cause several sense have been revamped and polished, and even rearranged into what I feel is a better order.

So I hate to tell you all this, but you'll have to reread from the beginning.

And yes, Icy's spirit's name has a meaning behind it, but no you can't just copy it into a translation program as I played butcher with it some.

Hmm... Well, if Gwen/Artie liked boobs as much as Darcy or Icy suggest, perhaps she's lez... But given that they're looking for someone who struck Disneyland, their new Third isn't gonna be Gwen.

Lumikkainorjaisa? God that's a damn mouth full.

Yeah. Looks like a lot of syllables, unlike Aunghadhail, which looks to have only 3 syllables, Ung-Va-Hail. ... But somehow she pronounced it perfectly. Something like UnpronounceableAlias.

Shrugging Icy shrank the book down and disappeared it into her cleavage.

The book can shrink?? ... VictoriasSecretCompartment.

Well, gonna do a whole re-read. 'Cause I'm wondering why they're raiding a clothing store and the comments of Darcy doing porn.



***

Yeah, ugly name, I am still trying to refine it without resorting to the Tolkin Elf Name Generator.

Iza is about on par with Unga, maybe a tad less, but unlike the Queen who Was, Iza's magic is mostly raw and untamed. Spells she used often like the chariot and armor she knows down pat, but most of the time... That's part of the reason Darcy hasn't been upgraded; her test subject Jeff barely survived.

Thanks for the typo scan as always.

Iza's magic is mostly raw and untamed... compared to the old queen or fey. Cause if you compare it to fey we might be needing a new planet soon.

Gwen and Mr Magic having some father daughter time gives me warm fuzzies.

Cryptic wrote: Gwen and Mr Magic having some father daughter time gives me warm fuzzies.

Truth. It's nice!

Hmm... The bit with Swash, that's setup for something...

Doing a bit of a rewrite on this one. The Mr Cool/Giggle Girl side story wasn't making me happy, and also neither was the Sculptor side plot. Sculpt just isn't the kind of villain to sell kids into slavery. She's a doctor damn it, the only reason she's black hat is cause the Syndicate gave her a job after she got black balled. Ok so she does do some mutant powered cosmetic surgery on the side to pay her bills as well... but the people she changes want changed damn it!