Question Was it worth it? Discussion

If anyone wants to comment or anything, feel free.

Great start

Interesting powers, she can break through Constrictor's "Don't see me" field?

Lots of emotions in the story. I guess it's part of being an empath, but it's cool.

Great character expansions... Also do I detect 2 reasons for Chitin to be in Poe?

Throwing her straight into Combat Finals is an interesting touch!

When you say "Filly", I think, "Little Girl Horse/Pony" ? Instead of "Filigree"...

The writing has a journal-like feel to it, which is ok, but can bog down the story with too much details on the thoughts and not enough detail on the environment/character interactions.

The jump into Whately was also a bit too abrupt in my opinion, but it's another thing that can be waived since it can be dry reading the same intro to campus for the thousandth time.

I'm interested to hear why you chose to start devisor then shift to something else.

shadeofred wrote: I'm interested to hear why you chose to start devisor then shift to something else.

It wasn't strictly necessary, it was just another hook into the continuity of the universe I guess. And an excuse to give my character an appearance similar to that of an already existing background character. The image that I linked on deviantart two times in the story is actually a fanart of Migraine, from what she turns into at the end of Bek's canon story The Big Idea. The other thing I talked about during the devisor project was a perhaps too subtle reference to Delta Spike, since she acts only slightly less foolishly as a devisor than Mark did, had about the exact same plans of turning herself into a girl, did indeed manage it via devising in a roundabout way, and was directly connected to the entire thing with Migraine as well. So, that scene was supposed to echo some themes from another story.

I could have gone with a wizard just as well as a devisor, it wouldn't have changed much, but the similarity to Delta Spike made it worth it to me.

Now, Chitin isn't supposed to look exactly like Migraine or anything, and the fanart doesn't completely match the appearance of her given in The Big Idea if you ask me, being a bit smoother and less spiky, and that's how I imagine Chitin. That's what the few prettier "echoes" were about, toning down the freaky bug into a more cute bug.

Woop wrote: Now, Chitin isn't supposed to look exactly like Migraine or anything, and the fanart doesn't completely match the appearance of her given in The Big Idea if you ask me, being a bit smoother and less spiky, and that's how I imagine Chitin. That's what the few prettier "echoes" were about, toning down the freaky bug into a more cute bug.

I was sort of wondering why no-one made a connection to Migraine, but it is a few years after, and if she isn't a perfect match, I guess I can see how the connection could be missed.

I guess the PDP classification is 'cause someone made the connection and decided to copy some of Migraine's MID...

Migraine... is a PDP (Package Deal Psychic)

Like I said at the bottom of the story, sorry about leaving so many hooks unfinished. I had all the days until Sunday planned out and everything, and Grumble was going to get a bit of character expansion. But the thing is, this recent Lancer story was so gloomy that it completely wrecked my will to write, and I know I'll never pick this up again if I leave it for an entire week. So, sorry about that. I wrote the last scene with Angie at the end there anyway, which would still ultimately have been the end of the story if it had been longer.

Okay, somethings were skipped over, mainly the meeting with Fubar, 'cause this is the first mention of him, but not the first appearance, chronologically, if Chitin's been getting lessons from him... But all those have been off-screen...

Also, huh. Someone used Fubar's old codename. Interesting.