Question Shadowglass Discussion

Hey everybody! I've been off of posting since the great forum meltdown out of a combination of writer's block and lack of time, but today starts a five post arc that was my NaNoWriMo for this year.

It's similar in inspiration to Kettlekorn's excellent To Boldly Go, but was primarily based on the reality-shifting mechanism from the Fair Coin young adult novel. References to real-world institutions, locations, and individuals are not meant as a challenge to any copyrights, trademarks, etc.

I've only got the lightly-revised chunk of text that got done in the unstoppable train ride that is November's word count goal, so it could probably use some major reorganization at the very least before it's truly "done," but I'm pretty happy with it regardless. I also only have the lightest sketch of plans for a continuation after the first five posts, so that probably won't be immediately forthcoming. I'd ultimately like to get back to and seriously revise and expand Lucid (which was interrupted by the forum crash, but that proved decent enough timing since I couldn't figure out how to finish it at the time), but, again, we'll see how my writing motivation and time goes without the engine of NaNoWriMo.

Thoughts on Shadowglass appreciated!

Nice! A Dream Transport instead of a Death Transport. That's so much happier!

Simone hadn’t mentioned that there was only one mutant boarding school. Did every supervillain and superhero in the country who were within four years of each other go to high school together? Didn’t that make things very awkward, or at least very personal when they fought?

Yeah. ... Well, its only the mutants...

That Oneiromancer helm. I guess she bought it or something, so he isn't gonna want it back. ... Give it to Tin Phoenix in exchange for some cash or something?

The rest of the plot can't just be her becoming a rockstar, can it? Well, it could and I guess once I've read it, it could be awesome...

I wonder how many of the people looking for Old!Simone are gonna accept "She sent her mind off into my old body", or "Some crazy devise just scrambled my brains." and absolve her debts or something...

This is only the first post, and there's apparently 4 more incoming...

Pretty heavy on the info dump, to be honest. I feel like having him\her learn the hard way would have made for a more interesting intro, but I'll keep an eye out for your updates all the same.

Still, good character you formed, and look forward to seeing what you do in the future.

Malady wrote: Nice! A Dream Transport instead of a Death Transport. That's so much happier!

Simone hadn’t mentioned that there was only one mutant boarding school. Did every supervillain and superhero in the country who were within four years of each other go to high school together? Didn’t that make things very awkward, or at least very personal when they fought?

Yeah. ... Well, its only the mutants...

That Oneiromancer helm. I guess she bought it or something, so he isn't gonna want it back. ... Give it to Tin Phoenix in exchange for some cash or something?

The rest of the plot can't just be her becoming a rockstar, can it? Well, it could and I guess once I've read it, it could be awesome...

I wonder how many of the people looking for Old!Simone are gonna accept "She sent her mind off into my old body", or "Some crazy devise just scrambled my brains." and absolve her debts or something...

This is only the first post, and there's apparently 4 more incoming...

In the whateleyverse more than you think. And any telepath should be able to conform her story as would many devicers and magic users.
As would anybody who really knew her. After all one douse not suddenly wake up and go from a ass to a hard working, exercising seize the day, kind of person. Well I suppose in the whatlyverse they sometimes do...

^ Accept, yes, but absolve the debts as well, I dunno...

Malady wrote: ^ Accept, yes, but absolve the debts as well, I dunno...

I don't remember her the story saying much about debts. At least not financial debts.
What's his name is probably going to come to get his helmet back but he should know what it can do and might even be glad to have had an successful test subject.
Though if he is a villein...
And there are some questionable people who would want her to do jobs for her who she would rather not meet.
And probably a few heros who would like to chat. Along with law enforcement.

Today's post introduces a minor character I borrowed from canon, rather than inventing what would have had to have been a very similar character. I'm doing my best to stay as close as possible to what's been revealed about her in the official stories, but obviously this may become increasingly divergent if she winds up getting used again officially.

Woah! Went looking up Chelseas, and got Little Bee . That's a surprise!

Interesting bits on how much sounds, with that stuff about Brass Monkey!

That scarring story's interesting, and disturbing.

Well, a story of getting to superstardom mixed with super-fights does seem interesting!

Typo:

a lot time -> a lot of time

Interesting concept.

I look forward to the development of … whatever she settles on as her name's relationship.

Teleport tech could be used for good, and if the stats Chelsea gave are right, its not good for too much other than pranks... Until we get a glimpse at something that confirms Tin Phoenix's suspicions, I'm gonna give some good faith.

How did they know that Orbweaver was the guy who captured them so fast? There was no mention?

And when did Simone figure out Little Bee's codename? It was never given in text...

Good story so far, and a nice extension of the Gen 1 stories.

Looking forward to what happens next.

Malady wrote: How did they know that Orbweaver was the guy who captured them so fast? There was no mention?

There was no way for them to know. But bee did. So ya evidence for a set up.

NJM1564 wrote:

Malady wrote: How did they know that Orbweaver was the guy who captured them so fast? There was no mention?

There was no way for them to know. But bee did. So ya evidence for a set up.

Didn't he anonce himself the moment they landed? TGhat said I'm on the its a setup train, As really he didn't even seem particularly ready, if he had been his henchmen should ahve showed up much faster then they did.

Dr. Orbweaver announced himself in the stinger last week. I've adjusted the timing headings and reiterated his lead-in to make it more clear what's going on.

Chelsea just didn't want her code name to be what she's called by, not something she would keep deadly secret from another mutant she was dating. Intended implication is it came up in the very first conversation, as part of the “In case you didn’t know, if your big sister cons you into taking a stupid code name when you’re 13, it’s basically impossible to change it later...” story.

^ Yeah, thought so, its sort of expected that the acquisition of that knowledge would be clearly said by the point where its used by characters in conversations, so we know what the character whose POV we're in knows?

Otherwise, we'd have to connect the dots manually and wonder for a bit or something.

Like "Who's Little Bee? ... Oh, it's Chelsea... How does Simone know that? I guess it was during the part of the convo about her codename we didn't hear?"

And needing the reader to do that, when you could have just said "Her codename was Little Bee and when I asked, "Why Little?" ..." is not good, I think?

Then again, maybe its just your style? *shrugs?*

Nice bits where you tie Simone's thoughts and stuff to her Video Gaming viewpoint, though.

Wiki has LB as a Junior High kid, so you're AU 'cause she's no frosh in 2005.

Also, LB's an EX? Mentioned in Clue of the unseen switch which is also where she's called a JH kid, thrice or so, which I've gottaget into the wiki, but gonna sleeo, so only if someine doesn't add it first.

Simone is going to have to trust someone at some point with the fact that she has no idea what is going on in the wider world because of a Devise. Too many inconsistencies will come up otherwise.

New Story Post: whateleyacademy.net/index.php/forum/fabr...10-shadowglass#28722

Nice sweet convo with "Using".

And how the band negotiations are done with the new supervillain info.

Interesting businesses that Simone's participating in...

And that ending... Simone does have debts to pay or something? ... Rescue happening soon from TP? (Toilet Paper, lol!)

And that's what I've got so far. Hopefully everyone enjoyed it. I have some vague ideas about what happens next, but no plans to continue it soon. But please let me know what you thought worked, what needed improvement, and what hooks you're interested in if I get around to a follow up.

I did finally start making progress on the Lucid rewrite, but it's slow going without NaNoWriMo to hold my feet to the fire about prioritizing writing over other distractions, so no ETA on that.

Thanks for reading!

So, the Dream Helm is still with Simone. And she wants to use it again?

Well, she's alive... and got a few more allies, with the Emerald City Guard. Totally didn't notice the Oz theme until it was mentioned! ... If Little Bee and Simone join up, one of them could be Dorothy and the other the Good Witch or Ozma or something...