Question Battery-Discussion

Go ahead and give me the brutally honest truth about my fic. I don't mind how honest you are. I just want to make a contribution to this awesome world in any way I can. Tell me what you hate, what you like, what needs work, and so on. I'm not the best writer but I try. Also I'm like 40% sure how to use commas. I look at guides but I can barely get it. I have an outline I'm following and I expect to have at least a couple more parts done.

Let's see, nothing I could see that was outrageously egregious, some proofing might help, but then I think my writing needs proofread. And I'm right, one big issue is simply leaving out a word that you thought you put in. I think I saw one of those instances but now I'm not using two screens so I don't have the work up for me to pick it apart piece by piece. However let me say this: Keep going. Don't let your doubts get the better of you. This has the bones at least of a very good story!

Good start

Interesting start. There are many elements that I recognized from canon stories, but then again there are so many that there's going to be overlap with anything.

My friend was reading over my shoulder and he was much more critical of you writing than I was. Some editing would be very good.

I don't think there have been many protagonists who knew that much about mutants as them. It's cool to see how they were given lessons on how to recognize mutations from H1 and I think this to the most sympathetic portrayal of them yet. While this was Christmas 2006, come the start of the 2007 school year, they could have some words with Ribbon about H1.

While the dreams and talk about flying suggested that they would become a flyer, or even an avatar to Icarus himself, their powers don't seem to suggest any form of flight. It is interesting that they have some form of aura vision, with the other colours likely being mutant powers and magic.

Whether or not subsequent releases will have more editing, I am interested to see where this is headed.

I concur your last statement. The story is quite good, and in my mind ought to be continued, though I can understand if the author has reached a point where they are unable to continue.

Thanks so far guys. To be honest I'm just having fun writing this story. I had a trusted friend give it a look through and I realized my mistake a little late when I remembered they are worse than me. I will try to improve my writing in the next parts. Hope you guys enjoy it.

Sindee wrote: I had a trusted friend give it a look through and I realized my mistake a little late when I remembered they are worse than me.

Look on the bright side: you're both learning!

You can't expect anyone to be perfect on the first try, and you still did better than me.