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Question Majiana

5 years 4 months ago - 5 years 4 months ago #1 by Angeldude
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    • After sitting in my Google Drive for several months, I finally built up enough courage to proof read and publish: Main Story
    Fingers crossed it's better than my first attempt.

    P.S. I may want to replace the 'j' with a 'g'. I'm not entirely happy with the way it looks.
    Insanity: for when normal just isn't interesting enough.
    All ideas free to use. You can probably make better use of them than me.
    Last Edit: 5 years 4 months ago by Angeldude.
    5 years 4 months ago - 5 years 4 months ago #2 by Malady
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    • Aww! It's so positive, even with the MCO! It's nice!

    She's from Canada? *shrugs*

    I guess I missed that. Well, somewhere outside the US...

    Gonna save this 'cause Mobile is flaky.

    Could do with paragraph spaces, but otherwise good.
    Archives: Rubberjohn's Fanfic + CrystalHall + Mittfh's Wordcount Spreadsheet

    My Patreon. But, support the Crystal Hall 1st?
    Last Edit: 5 years 4 months ago by Malady.
    5 years 4 months ago #3 by Angeldude
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    • Malady wrote: She's from Canada? *shrugs*

    I guess I missed that. Well, somewhere outside the US...


    I never stated it explicitly, but that part is based on my experience as a Canadian who lives close to the border. It's just something I wanted to slip in like the different school system just for the sake of sharing some information that I think is interesting. I might bring up her being Canadian explicitly later on if it becomes more important.

    Could do with paragraph spaces, but otherwise good.


    ^_^ SQUEEE! SUCCESS! I WROTE SOMETHING THAT'S NOT TERRIBLE!
    I will go through and increase the spacing since you mention it. I'm used to Reddit (and Markdown) putting space between paragraphs automatically.
    Insanity: for when normal just isn't interesting enough.
    All ideas free to use. You can probably make better use of them than me.
    5 years 4 months ago #4 by null0trooper
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    • Paragraphs may need more work, but that often comes down to how the bulletin board handles text. But a younger character may naturally ramble, going sentence by sentence without stopping to take a break.

    At the start, Angela seems to be living with both parents:

    I wasn't sure what else I or the specks could do, so I didn't follow up for a while. That said, I still tried to find opportunities to watch. If anything, my parents were happy that I was looking around more than I used to.


    But after powers testing, the prospect of paying for going to Whateley Academy instead of a local school is left to her mother. Only her mother comes to the airport to say goodbye:

    Before I knew it, my mother and I were exchanging tearful goodbyes at the airport to get ready for my flight east. Security was harder than I'd expected. Normally I could speed through thanks to the Nexus card my parents got me. It made crossing the US border very easy most of the time.


    Does Angela's father die or abandon the family during this period?
    Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.

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    5 years 4 months ago #5 by Mister D
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    • Good start Angeldude. :D

    Looking forward to seeing how the story grows.
    Measure Twice
    5 years 4 months ago #6 by Angeldude
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    • null0trooper wrote: Does Angela's father die or abandon the family during this period?


    Oops. That's what I get for not paying enough attention to supporting characters. I think I was mostly treating her as a single mother, so I should change that to make things more consistent.
    Insanity: for when normal just isn't interesting enough.
    All ideas free to use. You can probably make better use of them than me.
    5 years 4 months ago #7 by null0trooper
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    • Angeldude wrote:

    null0trooper wrote: Does Angela's father die or abandon the family during this period?


    Oops. That's what I get for not paying enough attention to supporting characters. I think I was mostly treating her as a single mother, so I should change that to make things more consistent.


    I've been keeping a file for my character names and relationships. It may not be very organized, but it helps me keep track of who's who and where they are.
    Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.

    WhatIF Stories: Buy the Book

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