×

Notice

The forum is in read only mode.
× This section is for feedback and discussion about in progress Fabrication Lab works (before the story is 'published' to the site, at which point use the commenting system or the Evaluation section for formal reviews).

If a author is open to discussion/feedback on their story, they will create a thread for it to take place in... if no thread exists, it means the author prefers to work without feedback at this time. Authors may also make a post and just ask that any feedback be sent via PM instead of public posting.

Posting rules: Only authors and staff may create threads but all registered members can post replies.

Question A Hairy Situation Discussion

9 years 2 months ago #1 by Cryptic
  • Cryptic
  • Cryptic's Avatar Topic Author


  • Posts: 1746

  • Gender: Unknown
  • Birthdate: 04 Jun 1983
  • Thoughts on what's good/bad/or stupid, spelling and grammar mistakes I missed, or anything else pertaining to this story; let me have it.

    CPrime, Thanks for the prompt, I had fun with it.

    I am a caffeine heathen; I prefer the waters of the mountain over the juice of the bean. Keep the Dews coming and no one will be hurt.
    9 years 2 months ago - 9 years 2 months ago #2 by Malady
    • Malady
    • Malady's Avatar


  • Posts: 3893

  • Gender: Unknown
  • Birthdate: Unknown
  • Cryptic wrote: Thoughts on what's good/bad/or stupid, spelling and grammar mistakes I missed, or anything else pertaining to this story; let me have it.

    CPrime, Thanks for the prompt, I had fun with it.


    There are a few spelling mistakes, but I'll find those in my next post.

    Current note is gonna be about Rapunzel's mark. ... Is there precedent for them knocking off marks for previously unknown powers? Like Fey and her Banshee Scream/Wail/Howl? ... I should check that...

    And I thought she'd be the hair controlled mentioned in the bad ideas thread, that can control other people's hair. But a Tangled!Rapunzel Expy! Nice!

    I wonder what'll happen if Disney decides to make Tangled in a Verse where this Rapunzel exists...
    Last Edit: 9 years 2 months ago by Malady.
    9 years 2 months ago #3 by Isodecan
    • Isodecan
    • Isodecan's Avatar


  • Posts: 114

  • Gender: Male
  • Birthdate: 16 Jan 1974
  • I thought most of the grade reduction was for the excessive violence, particularly when using an unidentified power.

    Nice story, and I can understand the focus was Rapunzel rather than Dredz, but there were a couple points in there where they knew something was going down but it hadn't actually started yet that he could have used the extra time he had to try to build some kind of devise to try to help with the situation they were likely to face.
    9 years 2 months ago #4 by Cryptic
    • Cryptic
    • Cryptic's Avatar Topic Author


  • Posts: 1746

  • Gender: Unknown
  • Birthdate: 04 Jun 1983
  • Yes, grade reduction was due to her killing Tighty Whitey Knight, not for the unknown power. Which is really wasn't an unknown just her Healing ability working in reverse. "The worst person to have mad at you is someone who knows how you are put together" or something like that. As for the Hair quills, I figured why not? Quills are just specialized hair, PK 3 is several hundred pounds of pressure so why couldn't she compress her strands into uber sharp points?

    Dredz... he just wouldn't let me write him for what ever reason. maybe because I listen to Country and not Rap and thus couldn't get into his head as well as I could my OC.

    Malady, Yup Tangled was the other movie i watched a few dozen times while writing this story. :unsure: Oh cripes.... Muse just got fed and now she wants me to throw a Disney/Pixar Princes inspired training team into my Kara story in stead of my Justice League knock off. Which honestly might be more fun.

    I am a caffeine heathen; I prefer the waters of the mountain over the juice of the bean. Keep the Dews coming and no one will be hurt.
    9 years 1 month ago #5 by Cryptic
    • Cryptic
    • Cryptic's Avatar Topic Author


  • Posts: 1746

  • Gender: Unknown
  • Birthdate: 04 Jun 1983
  • With the release of Kings Horses, I have a few ideas on how to make things mesh a little better, but does anyone else have any ideas?

    I am a caffeine heathen; I prefer the waters of the mountain over the juice of the bean. Keep the Dews coming and no one will be hurt.
    Moderators: WhateleyAdminKristin DarkenE. E. NalleyelrodwNagrijMageOhkiAstrodragonNeoMagusWarrenMorpheusWasamonsleethrOtherEricBek D CorbinMaLAguASouffle GirlPhoenix SpiritusStarwolfDanZillaKatie_LynMaggie FinsonDrBenderJGBladedancerRenae_Whateley
    Powered by Kunena Forum