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Question The Twins of Tech Discusion

9 years 9 hours ago - 9 years 9 hours ago #1 by mhalpern
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  • Had to leave off there have more but no time to write it

    I cried when writing it, knowing the cause would be unfounded...

    Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.
    Last Edit: 9 years 9 hours ago by mhalpern.
    9 years 9 hours ago - 9 years 9 hours ago #2 by mhalpern
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  • I actually had a bit of pronoun trouble between first and third person (I think that way when writing at times) and giving the twins pronoun trouble.

    So all in all what do you think?

    Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.
    Last Edit: 9 years 9 hours ago by mhalpern.
    9 years 8 hours ago - 9 years 8 hours ago #3 by Malady
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  • Pretty good.

    with you two if one hears it or feels really strongly about something, so does the other


    It sounds like an infodump, 'cause I'd thought she woulda known that already. But, if she speaks her thoughts aloud often enough, I'll say it's justified...

    I guess you're low on time, so I'll give it a while for you to review it before making any typo reports?
    Last Edit: 9 years 8 hours ago by Malady.
    9 years 8 hours ago - 9 years 8 hours ago #4 by mhalpern
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  • Malady wrote: Pretty good.

    with you two if one hears it or feels really strongly about something, so does the other


    It sounds like an infodump, 'cause I'd thought she woulda known that already. But, if she speaks her thoughts aloud often enough, I'll say it's justified...

    I guess you're low on time, so I'll give it a while for you to review it before making any typo reports?


    More of a demonstration on how subtle they tend to be with their telepathy, fairly easy to do with cell phones. Betty was just caught off guard



    OK it was a tiny info dump but I tried to make it seem natural.

    Feel free to do typo reports

    Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.
    Last Edit: 9 years 8 hours ago by mhalpern.
    9 years 8 hours ago #5 by mhalpern
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  • Unless they are in panic mode, they don't advertise their telepathic link, mainly because of bathrooms.

    Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.
    9 years 8 hours ago #6 by Malady
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  • mhalpern wrote: Feel free to do typo reports


    Okay.

    ... How is it that you've got time to respond, but not time to write more of the story, which I've assumed you've already planned out? ... Are you on mobile?
    9 years 7 hours ago #7 by mhalpern
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  • Malady wrote:

    mhalpern wrote: Feel free to do typo reports


    Okay.

    ... How is it that you've got time to respond, but not time to write more of the story, which I've assumed you've already planned out? ... Are you on mobile?


    Yes mobile mode

    Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.
    9 years 7 hours ago - 9 years 7 hours ago #8 by Malady
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  • mhalpern wrote:

    Malady wrote:

    mhalpern wrote: Feel free to do typo reports


    Okay.

    ... How is it that you've got time to respond, but not time to write more of the story, which I've assumed you've already planned out? ... Are you on mobile?


    Yes mobile mode


    Well, sorry if you know this already, but you could write with the notes app on your device? ... iPhones should have one, IIRC... Androids have system access which allows you to make Word docs... ... Personally, I just keep sending emails to myself and replying every time I have something to add... ... But perhaps that doesn't suit your creative style...

    mhalpern wrote: Unless they are in panic mode, they don't advertise their telepathic link, mainly because of bathrooms.


    Wouldn't other telepaths be able to detect the link? Like Fey, with her aura sight, might be able to discern the link...
    Last Edit: 9 years 7 hours ago by Malady.
    9 years 7 hours ago #9 by Jarjaross
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  • Your formatting could use a bit of work. It's way better than some that I see but there was confusing line spacing in some places.

    My dreams take me to far off lands and times of distant past and future. They tell what has been done, what will happen and who I am. They show me things beyond the machinations of any man. Tell me, what are dreams to you?
    9 years 7 hours ago #10 by mhalpern
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  • Malady wrote:

    mhalpern wrote:

    Malady wrote:

    mhalpern wrote: Feel free to do typo reports


    Okay.

    ... How is it that you've got time to respond, but not time to write more of the story, which I've assumed you've already planned out? ... Are you on mobile?


    Yes mobile mode


    Well, sorry if you know this already, but you could write with the notes app on your device? ... iPhones should have one, IIRC... Androids have system access which allows you to make Word docs... ... Personally, I just keep sending emails to myself and replying every time I have something to add... ... But perhaps that doesn't suit your creative style...

    mhalpern wrote: Unless they are in panic mode, they don't advertise their telepathic link, mainly because of bathrooms.


    Wouldn't other telepaths be able to detect the link? Like Fey, with her aura sight, might be able to discern the link...


    Yes other telepaths and mages can see the link, the twins just don't make a big deal of it, so others don't think about it, the people in Devisor Lab know because Edna has stopped a few Diedricks episodes, but generally they try and prevent people from thinking about the fact that they can see what the other sees if they want to, or speculating on if they have that ability

    Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.
    9 years 7 hours ago #11 by Malady
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  • I was gonna send you the report via PM, but I'm too lazy / tired / something to do a substantial one, so I'll leave this here so no one has to comment about it later:

    Typos and stuff [ Click to expand ]
    9 years 7 hours ago #12 by mhalpern
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  • The only reason Betty knows how deep their link is is cause she's Edna's roomate and has mage sight, but they play it off enough that she doesn't really think about it.

    Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.
    9 years 5 hours ago #13 by mhalpern
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  • Fixed some typos, and added the bit I wanted to to finish this chapter off, for now at least

    Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.
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