Anything is fair game... just don't complain when someone with more Whateley-verse savvy shoots your theory out of the sky.
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Question Soaring
- DanZilla
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Topic Author
- Katssun
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I did like that her softball friends were super supportive, but I was afraid the whole time that the H1 gym was going to brainwash her mother into handing her over to the death squad without any fight. It's sad that it is almost a relief that it went down only slightly worse than I feared.
- Dpragan
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In the end reality is only consensual! It means that Al Gore is causing "Global Warming" by his rhetoric alone! Fortunately, there are enough Global Warming "Deniers" still about to keep him from boiling the planet.
=^+^=
- Phoenix Spiritus
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Katssun wrote: … I was afraid the whole time that the H1 gym was going to brainwash her mother into handing her over to the death squad without any fight …
Hmm, evil. I Like it!
I'll keep this in mind for next time

- PookiesUncle
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- Dreamer
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Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.
Soaring comments
Talk about Lily having a boyfriend, does that mean Ashley is in Poe or just knows Lily, curious now. Finding out about how some of the cottages are big enough to have boy and girl wings, not typical from how mom reacted. Peggy having a softball game, and mom knows how to defuse an imminent fight quickly.
Peggy catches the ball with effort and some idiot calls her a mutant because of it, didn't know Peggy could do that and Peggy is benched. Mom freaking out over it, wants to get them out of there quick and she flew to catch the ball, whoa, Mark thinks it's awesome. Mom trying to think of what to do, oh boy, hope this doesn't go wrong.
Lauren Strum aka Magma, Barbara called in a panic, telling how Peggy manifested and she saw Ashley manifest a flame sword, oh boy. She knows because Ashley protected her from boys who chased them and threw rocks, but kept it secret because she was protecting her daughter, nice to see someone with that attitude. Poor woman is in a panic and now Lauren has to come over to help her sort this all out, at least she has people she can count on.
Oh boy, trying to demonstrate her flying and she can't do it at will yet, so Mark suggest she jump off the roof and gets called by all 3 names, yikes. Having a superhero to help her through all this, plus the mother of her best friend, Peggy is lucky in those aspects. Hovering a foot off the floor after helping her remember her feelings when it happened, plus little brother is impressed again. So far, so good, hope there aren't any H1 idiots who saw.
Mark bugging Peggy with all those questions, thinking she is like Supergirl now, oh boy. Bugged into flying with Mark, great, drawn in by his awe and hero worship, and let him ride on her back.
Barbara in a panic as Lauren tries to explain she needs to be tested and trained in her powers for her own safety. And Ben, their father, hasn't even been told yet, hope he doesn't react badly. Having Paul bring Ben back so they can discuss it, why do I get a bad feeling.
And flying on his sister back, both Peggy and Mark having fun testing the limits of her powers. Mark knows to keep Peggy's secret, especially from creeps like H1, smart kid. Not able to tell anyone, not even Ashley until summer at least, hard but doable. Testing at the STAR League HQ, nice.
Lauren and Zander having to remain professional with Peggy around and Lauren in civilian identity. Magma is her favorite hero, no wonder Peggy was so excited and Lauren had to struggle to remain professional. PK Supergirl, with how her brother was riding on her back thought that was it. And using Star Trek to explain a PK Superboy/girl's field, priceless. Another Trekkie in the ranks and she goes to costume parties as Captain Janeway, all those things, wish I could go to ComicCon one of these years.
She chose Pegasus for her codename, cute, might attract attention from Wondercute though. Finish up the school year since it is only a few weeks, then work from there, a lot can happen in a few weeks. If not for Lauren, I fear what Barbara might have done in a panic.
A black SUV and following them, plus knows where Peggy lives, very not good. Photos of all family members, H1 spying on people like this. They need to be given a lesson.
All that info on the family, trying to break STAR League security to find out strong Peggy is, sickening. Wait a minute, she's the one while talking about Peggy, plus this woman's eyes almost glowing. Plus trying to bait the mom, if they are H1 then why did this woman's eyes almost glow, what is going on.
Seeing her daughter still acting the same with her friends, Barbara is happy. New gym in the area and a perky young woman giving out pamphlets for a free visit, tour, and personal assessment, I've seen enough anime to know this is a trap! Tempting Barbara with all that, sounds like a great set-up. Kylie, why did I get a shudder upon reading her name. A teenage girl owns the place, alarm bells going off.
Her friends what to know what type of mutant she is and aren't freaking out, good. And she says she is a PK supergirl, nothing more, for fear of H1. But Amy doesn't think anyone on the team is H1, everyone, including the parents, were all really upset she can't play with them anymore. And she is right about the other team and how they reacted to Peggy when she just manifested.
Mom afraid not only of H1 but the MCO, rightfully as the bad ones outnumber the good at this point. Hope she figures out the truth of the gym soon.
Telling Ben about the new gym and how she was there until past lunch time. But Ben wants to have lunch together with his wife, sweet couple.
And the ringleader of the spying on them owns the gym, saying nothing out of the ordinary about their family. When they go for the girl, they want no surprises, bunch of psychos!
Oh boy, thinking her mom is staying at the gym just in case Peggy decides to run off and start fighting crime or something. Megan grabs her MID out of her purse, this is bad. Megan needs to learn some teasing isn't right. And now she has Peggy worried about what the MID might mean by comparing it to the cards Jews had to carry in Nazi Germany, not far off with the kind of creeps we've seen in the MCO though. Megan looked up some stuff, accusations of H1! and the MCO 'disappearing' mutants. All her friends worried for Peggy's safety now, though it isn't unfounded.
Can't take her at school, so going to try and nab her at home, this is getting bad if someone doesn't find out about these creeps and soon. Why so much footage of Peggy, use it with video editing for a frame job as a 'dangerous mutant' is all I can think of. Assuming the baseball wasn't the first time she manifested her powers, now they are paranoid.
Oh boy, talk of what the Nazis did to the Jews and thinking that is what registration for mutants is. And Barbara says her and Ben won't allow it, no one is taking their little girl from them, even pulled over just to hug Peggy. Anyone comes for her children, I pity them what she might resort to to protect her babies.
H1! going after Peggy tonight, this escalated quickly. Please let Lauren and the rest of STAR League stop them.
And she calls the police once they show up, Ben went out to confront them only to be shot and now there is a raging fire where the Lane house had been. That is the act of monsters! Lauren rushing in to help, hope no one dies or died already.
Falcon and Tabby Cat showing up, only realizing how close to Lauren's home they are. Peggy unconscious in Lauren's lap outside what was the Lane house. Peggy still unconscious but unhurt. Idiot used a doomsday device to 'take down the Mutant menace', sick bunch. Her whole family dead, Peggy an orphan because of a bunch of bigots. Raising Peggy as their own, plus sending her to Whateley and easing her into all this, this is one of the most brutal attacks by H1! we've ever seen.
Taking Peggy to a guest cottage, while Ben goes to tell Ashley what happened. All that talk, how would she like to be a sister and Ashley jumps to her mom is pregnant, lol. How Lauren is with Peggy, blaming herself for not being able to stop the H1 idiots. Ashley is excited to get Peggy as her sister, having her adopted into the family, if only it didn't have to happen like this. Moving to a gated community with 24-hour security, with H1! out there the world just isn't safe.
Those two girls are really rude, Peggy is polite, if a bit perky, trying to deal with the pain of losing her family in her own way, and they just rag on her. They are the type that give Melville Cottage a bad name. Peggy is just so excited to be at Whateley now. Oh lord, I just thought of something, what if her and Superchick team up or Peggy joins Wondercute.
Lily, Dredz, and Mark all these to see Ashley. Peggy going off on the tour for freshmen now, meeting with Ashley for lunch afterwards. Spreading around on the frosh and sophomore floors that Peggy is her little sister, oh boy, pity anyone who messes with Phoenixfire's little sis. A proper suit just like Lily's and Ashley's for Peggy, very nice. Ouch, yeah, fighting against kids two years her senior, that would suck. So not on STAR League Jr. but have to put on with Ashley's new little sister, don't you forget.
A story that shows not everyone who comes to Whateley loses their family because of rejection. It was great to see how Lauren helped Barbara to deal with the sudden change, how accepting Peggy's family was and Mark's hero worship of his little sister. For H1! to do that just because one of their kids manifested is the act of true monsters, it was sickening to see. Peggy may be acting perky, happy to be at Whateley and have Ashley as a big sister, but somehow I feel she is holding in a lot of pain from the loss of her family and it will show in time. A good origin story, though I was shocked at how brutal H1! can truly be.
Thank You for story comments appreciated and help me know me they are being read and liked.

- Valentine
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A fairly dark little story, but good.
At least one odd wordings:
"Yes, tested. I've organised to take you to the headquarters of STAR League tomorrow. They'll test you and tell us what type of powers you have."
"organized" is a weird word there.
Don't Drick and Drive.
- Arcanist Lupus
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"Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased — thus do we refute entropy." - Spider Robinson
- Dreamer
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Thank You for story comments appreciated and help me know me they are being read and liked.

- Phoenix Spiritus
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Valentine wrote: At least one odd wordings:
"Yes, tested. I've organised to take you to the headquarters of STAR League tomorrow. They'll test you and tell us what type of powers you have."
"organized" is a weird word there.
Might be an Australianism or something, that's the word we'd use in that situation. You organise doctor's appointments and the like.
- Phoenix Spiritus
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Arcanist Lupus wrote: I'm guessing that 'pronto' was the codeword for "stuff we can't talk about in public". Am I correct?
Actually 'situation' is their code word for superhero stuff

It's much more usable in normal conversations, and easy to avoid using too.
- Kaitha39
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I read the 'glowing eyes' comment more as a descriptive adjective tbh, not an indication of power but Phoenix might be setting something up for the future ^_^Dreamer wrote: After thinking over some things in the story, it doesn't seem as straightforward as it did at first glance. The H1! guy spying on Peggy and her family, the woman whose eyes almost glowed working with H1! wanting all that footage of Peggy, the young woman owning the gym and how quickly it was set up.
It's not like H1 need any help being a bunch of horrible cunts doing horrible things that mutants need to clandestinely help destroy their reputation. The only reason they're not as hated (Edit: In-universe. I'm sure we all hate them.) as the Nazi's or the KKK is because of supervillains doing things more obviously deadly.
I loved the change in Mark from 'annoying little brother' to 'hero worshipping something cool'. Exactly what any little boy would be like.
Also seconding the slight confusion about Ashley's emotions when Peggy came during finals. It read almost like she was confused that her friend isn't very happy. Like, girl, her entire family just died. She's not going to be singing and dancing. She's going to be thinking "It's all my fault! Why did I have to become a mutant? They'd still be alive if I wasn't."
Any stories or Characters I put out are available to write around. Feel free to borrow them!
- Valentine
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Phoenix Spiritus wrote:
Valentine wrote: At least one odd wordings:
"Yes, tested. I've organised to take you to the headquarters of STAR League tomorrow. They'll test you and tell us what type of powers you have."
"organized" is a weird word there.
Might be an Australianism or something, that's the word we'd use in that situation. You organise doctor's appointments and the like.
I would use "arrange."
Don't Drick and Drive.
- Esar
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I really liked the younger brother. The father on the other hand has not left a strong impression on me.
Thanks Phoenix.
- mhalpern
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Esar wrote: A character ending up being an orphan tends to be the kind of thing which puts me off (maybe because it can easily be misused and because I think the removal of relationship/interpersonal ties can have detrimental consequences.) but here I think her new situation/relationship with her adoptive family shouldn't be "problematic" (even if I agree that Phoenixfire's reaction was kinda off-puting.).
I really liked the younger brother. The father on the other hand has not left a strong impression on me.
Thanks Phoenix.
Yeah at the beginning I was thinking that Mark would end up a Changeling due to the "wishing for a sister instead of a brother" + "be careful what you wish for" in a morbid sense the same result happened Peggy lost her brother and gained a sister.
Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.
- Iwasforger03
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Did think the unexpected explosion was good, and watching it from Lauren's perspective was pretty cool. Sadly, I never really felt any emotional connection to anyone while reading this.
As to a member of STAR League being in boston instead? I could buy that, sort of, but it does seem a little odd since the team isn't based in Boston.
I am a Sexy Shoeless God of War - So suck it CP!
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