Question The Nefarious Three

No, the TLW haven't appeared yet.

Onerios's Astrolabe!

Darcy Twins? Envy + Vamp??

Who is the Dodger?

Curious who is this individual who is a Supervillain Minion.

Besides being a member of ATHUG, I’m also a card-carrying member of the IBEW and IASTE, which means that I get double scale, which is a lot better than the yahoos they pour into those jumpsuits get.

Very interesting, 3 different organizations for Supervillain Minions. Interesting logistics on supervillains with bases and time. And Green Devil, surprised no one has used that name before now for a villain.

Operating under the cover of a Crafty Brewery, almost makes you wonder how many legitimate businesses in the Whateley Universe are covers for supervillain operations. Yikes! Those electrified meshes are just brutal. Whoa, whoever this minion is invented a 'Back Urchin', now that is something I could see heroes and villains both wanting. A goon of Hexagon, a C-list wizard supervillain, is who attacked them, I would bail out right then and now.

Heh, Green Devil gives them number sequences and they give each other codenames. And the warning gets out, get to cover for Slim while Green Devil gives out orders. I hope they are bailing and not trying to fight a wizard and his goons. Components for a receiving circle for a teleport, that is one prepared wizard.

The Green Devil pays us minions half of our take-home pay through a civilian payroll service; hey, you gotta give the IRS something to tax, or they get all cranky.

As the Joker said in one Batman: TAS series episode, even he isn't crazy enough to mess with the IRS.

I checked my smartphone and sure enough the Boss and the guys were mixing it up with Hexagon, her stooges, a company of mercs and a handful of WTFITs.

Fighting Hexagon and all those others, though Green Devil would be smarter about it. And what are WTFITs?

Renting out space to a criminal scientist called Vitreus, a good way to make money, the potential to get double-crossed though by the renter. 'Cultured' power stones, okay, this Vitreus guy is more dangerous than I thought even if the stones are only low range. Another Hexagon goon took out by the 'Back Urchin', that thing is genius. Escape hatch, always good to have an escape plan. Wheels must be a skilled driver to get that codename.

An open application to work for the Witch Queen, might want to rethink that, Slim. Angora Kebab House, darn it, I just ate and now I'm hungry again. The Doc is huge from the description.

Loch Lomond™ stout

I don't like alcohol myself, but always sad when a good product is no longer produced. 7 days in hiding after a major strike goes sour, guess it makes sense to avoid both the authorities and anyone else who might be after you.

20 to 25 lbs. of cultured power gems, dang, she made out well. Why do I get the feeling that the cylinder is made of mithril and is going to be a lot of trouble for Slim in the near future? 3 crystals and concealment wards, oh boy. Power Gems, this is very serious, especially if the power each gem gives can be boosted by the other 2.

Sexy supervillainesses, so they are all female.

As we pause to let the other diners get back to their grub, let me explain something to those who aren’t familiar with our little cluster of boon companions: we met back in high school at a therapy group for teenage transsexuals.

Okay, that explains much better. Yikes, all very good points for not using the Power Gems just yet, don't want 3 different supervillains after them.

I don’t know a lot about power gems, but I DO know that there’s more to them than holding them up and yelling I HAVE THE POOOWEEERR!

Nice He-Man reference.

Offer Slim something value for value, that is going to have to be something very big.

“We’ve taken our shots, remember?” I jogged his memory. “Remember Slick? And Charlie? And…” I waved my bottle in Doc’s direction. There used to be five of us. We went the distance for Charlie, and she came out of it as one hawt broad. And she dumped us to head for the West Coast. A couple of months later, we spotted a blonde in a bikini that we think might’a been Charlie in a beach shot on some TV show. And the last we saw of Slick, he was a she; unfortunately, she was a semi-lobotomized cyborg enforcer for Macro Daddy. And Doc? Well, like I said, Doc didn’t always look like that. He used to be a reasonably slender normal looking guy who didn’t stand out in a crowd. Now? Now he eats enough for three, and didn’t even get disproportionate strength for his bulk. Or anything to reinforce his back, knees or feet.

So Charlie used and dumped them after she got what she wanted, poor Slick is a victim of Macro Daddy and Doc got screwed over by an experiment. They just can't seem to catch a break, it seems.

Ouch, poor Doc living like that, I would take the risk in their place too.

A man who stands 6-foot-8-inches tall and weighs over 300 pounds shouldn’t be able to play the pity card, but somehow Doc managed to be downright heartbreaking.

Yikes, that big and no proportionate strength to handle the bulk, that is brutal. 2 weeks, Slim sure does like giving Wheels and Doc a challenge.

Okay, just how many spellbooks does the Witch Queen sell to her covens? Dang, Wheels is almost as short as my sister. And Drive-Fu is a cinematic style of martial arts, especially in certain action movies. Calling from Mugsy's, I would use code too when talking in there.

Papa Cracky’s is a seafood joint in Far Rockaway on Coney Island.

Is this an actual place, couldn't find anything on it.

Phillip ‘Belphegor’ Blackadar is a criminal inventor and self-styled ‘Criminal Mastermind’. And yes, I’ve worked for him. Let me put it to you this way: at his very worst, the Green Devil was a better boss than Belphegor at his best. Belphegor is not the worst boss that I’ve worked for; there are two or three truly toxic assholes that I’ve suffered under. But ATHUG was able to get me out of those contracts under the ‘Provable Nutcase’ clause. But Belphegor isn’t crazy. Just a bleeding superior, stingy, pretentious, conniving, double-dealing pain-in-the-ass. Worse, Belphegor has a knack for grabbing first-rate henchmen and getting them to sign long-term, very binding contracts. Doc, Wheels and I have all done tours of duty under Belphegor, and we’re all glad as hell to be out.

We know from previous stories that Belphegor was still around in Gen 2, just didn't know he became this bad over the years, good grief. What turned him from a cowardly little weasel into this?

Always the same three types: a tall busty amazon, a sleek curvy bombshell, and a petite but curvy gamine.

Please say he didn't model them after 3 particular girls who hang out a lot at Whateley in Gen 1 we know.

The Five-Color scale for various procedures rates them for safety and reliability. Blue is ‘If it wasn’t an exotic procedure, Medicare would cover this’. Green is ‘Good Bet, but still a gamble’. Yellow is ‘you pays yer money, you takes yer chances’. Amber is ‘Don’t do this to anyone you like’. And Red is ‘Don’t do this to anyone at ALL’. ‘Green-going-Blue’ pretty much means ‘reasonably safe and reliable’.

Interesting, how long has this Five-Color scale been in use to rate various procedures?

Belphegor cycling through hench-wenches at a rate of 1 per year, that is bad. Heh, if I worked for Belphegor I would buy out as soon as possible and avoid the city he is known to work in like the plague.

“The only problem is that beforehand, you’ve got to prep three times your weight in stem cell solution,” Doc said.

*eyes bug out* Okay, that just not right. Let's see, 3 years and warehouse security. Yup, old Belph would have not upgraded it yet unless he stole the parts to do it.

Nice plan to get the stuff, hope it doesn't hit any complications.

‘broken ¾ Pinckney flange’

Is that a Darkwing Duck reference?

Which means that it’s all stuff from 6 or 7 different ‘exotic researchers’ that Belphegor stole and kludged as to work together. He says that he doesn’t believe in recreating the wheel; everyone else says that he’s just lazy.

That one major aspect of Belphegor never changed. Okay, Wheels is dire straits right now, direct vehicle control linkage and he got screwed over, can see why he is so desperate to even take a chance with Belphegor's stuff.

And Belph has gotten a lot worse over the years to do that to his hench-wenches.

Wheels smirked. “His personality. The submissive doormat kind of chicks who’d become addicted to him make lousy bodyguards. The kind of girls who’d make good bodyguards get sick and tired of his crap after about a year, no matter what kind of suggestion he uses."

Glad to see there are weaknesses to his system, even if one of them is just how horrible he is.

“Hey, at least Mages understand that the forces they’re dealing with are dangerous! Mad Doctor types just say ‘SCIENCE!’ and expect reality to be their bitch.”

Slim has a very good point, especially the kind of Mad Doctor type Belphegor has become.

Belladonna found the Witch Hunter's stash and had it moved to five different locations in Connecticut, now that is scary. 1 stash left untouched, better get a magic expert to help you with those items.

· A squat Brass bottle with a lead stopper

· A thick black-leather bound book with a gold design on the cover that I recognized as a common representation of the conjoined phases of the moon with a superimposed eye, suggesting a Book of Moons, which is a kind of grimoire or spellbook.

· A weird contraption that looked sort of like a really elaborate astrological ‘Compass’ of several circles that moved around on a platen made of a silvery mirror

· A dagger with a white wooden handle and a copper ‘leaf’ blade with marks on it; all the classic signs of an athame

· A dagger in the Arabic style, with a curved steel blade and a filigree handle with flat disk pommel.

· A glass flask in the shape of a nautilus shell with an elaborate stopper, with a chain connected.

· A disk of solid crystal rock salt (so Wheels told me) with a glyph carved into it

· A brass ‘telescope’

Why do I get the feeling that 'telescope' is dangerous in the wrong hands?

Erica something and another named 'the Artful Dodger', and things just got a whole lot more complicated. Hhm, sounds like they got turn these two against each other easily though.

A teak chest bound in iron with wards carved into woods and an elaborate lock on the clasp. A wooden ruler included in the shot for scale suggested that the box was maybe four feet long, three feet wide, and about two and a half feet high

I get the feeling it is someone and not something sealed inside that chest, no idea why.

Good plan and all, but the force adaptation chamber is the size of a Winnebago, that is nuts. Wheels plan is very complicated with a lot of potential fail points along the way, hope they get out of it alive at least. Start the plan now, Wheels is just making this up as he goes along, isn't he. Now I'm even more worried at least one of them is going to end up dead before this is all over. Leave it to Doc to list all the reasons why they have to do the plan anyways, especially the fact this Erica will just hunt them down anyway.

Good, at least Slim is thinking and knows not to get too greedy in all this. Heh, the VIs like Doc better than Belphegor, how bad do you have to be to get VIs to hate you?

“Okay, it is time for me to deploy my ULTIMATE WEAPON: Pro Sports! The Knicks are playing the Bulls, and Pay per View is charging $50 a pop. I’m willing to eat the $50, and pipe it into the Security Ops room.”

Very creative way to distract security. Didn't upgrade locks or codes, but adds a garage to the 2nd floor, Belphegor has messed up priorities. An escape pod using a sports car, just asking to get robbed.

Also, if it’s a decent business, it helps to underwrite the operating costs. Heck, more’n one business got started as a cover for a supervillain lair that they kept up, ‘cause the supervil didn’t expect much in the way of profits, so their costs were low and they built up a customer base.

Now that is some nice worldbuilding. First a recycling plant and now a working dry-cleaning plant, how many of Belphegor's bases are plants of one sort or another? Security shift honcho of the Main lair coming down on the guy in the Yonkers lair, guess he is trying to set it up for later to deflect blame if something has gone wrong.

Smart, go for the stuff you can actually sell. A Somnolater with an 8 hour timer I would pay good money for. A lot of work to get set-up and in the Adaptation Chamber, sure hope this works out for Wheels. Uhm, placing the clear blue Power Gem in Wheels hand like that, why do I get the feeling it will interact with the process somehow and merge with Wheels?

Good thing security is distracted by that game, or they wouldn't have gotten out without a fight. Good grief, it sounds like Wheels car is tricked out to be a speed demon and not care about the noise the engine makes in the least.

And we periodically checked an anonymous website that had been created to extol the cuteness of Aaron Carter and never taken down, that we’d hacked and put up a watch on the status alerts from CASPAR on Wheels. Mind you, if anyone ever checks out our browser histories, we’ll never hear the end of it.

Now that is priceless, wonder if Wheels will tease them about it.

Gilmore Girls reference, figures Slim has it on DVD. Nice detail to know about churches and interfering with finding things magically in them.

The spire belonged to the Greater Covenant Swedenborgian church. Or should I say, the old Greater Covenant Swedenborgian church.

Ouch, the church lost due to a fire and no funds to fix the damage. Inspect the place and go to the next town, guess they need to mislead any potential tails they might have picked up.

So Erica is strong, but not superhumanly strong, has between 3-5 wolves or large dogs. Wonder who the Artful Dodger is with those reflexes and speed. Uhm, making Erica think you are working with the person who is trying to bust her might blow up in your faces. Doc's pepper spray could cause permanent damage to someone's eyes, or so it sounds like it to me. Oh brother, figures now Slim gets greedy and decides to find all the stash instead of just what Wheels showed them.

Kids having a kegger in an abandoned building, figures an unforeseen complication would happen right now.

“Doc, they’re a bunch of meddling kids! If one of them’s got a dog, we’re screwed!”

“As long as we don’t wear rubber masks, we’re golden!”

“Okay, but if I hear 1960s bubblegum music start playing, I’m OUT of here!”

Bwahahaha, perfect Scooby-Doo reference, now you just need one of the local girls inside to be dressed up like Velma and it will be complete.

Heh, Wheels actually showed them 3 trunks like promised and nothing more there. Impressive decrypter on the key fob. How many books could be in one trunk? 6 teens, obviously been drinking and grab him, only for the cops to show up and Slim to accuse them of trying to mug him.

She was tall, had long, butter-yellow straight hair parted in the middle going down past her shoulders, and a long narrow very Nordic face. She could have been the Svenska blonde that the Swedish Tourism Bureau likes to sell the rest of the world that all Swedish women are; but she wasn’t a gigglesome member of the Swedish Bikini team.

Ulrike, not Ericka, can see how someone could mishear that. Saying he has something of hers and to hand it over, don't tell me she was a victim of the Witch Hunter and just wants back what is hers.

Cop goes down thanks to 'Back Urchin' and other cop thinks Ulrike did it, *sigh* Ulrike says something and the other cop trips up badly enough to send his gun flying, Fred-1 goes down next, Daphne-1 goes to call someone, Fred-2 rushes Ulrike only to get strong-armed, Fred-3 gets bite by the wolf's head on the end of Ulrike's staff, yikes. *cringes* My mind's ears, that 'Cockney' accent, it burns! Guessing that is the Artful Dodger.

Traps Ulrike in a static-adhesive net, Slim gets Ulrike's staff and drives off the biggest of her wolves with the pepper spray. Yikes, Ulrike already tearing out of the net and 3 other wolves after Slim. Artful Dodger mixing it up with Ulrike and not taking a single hit, most impressive. Well, this is a mess of a fight, then Ulrike causes a whirlwind, gets her staff back, and flees.

Boy, Slim can act like he has authority very easily when needed. Ran for it and calls Doc, gets back in the step van and learns what Doc did to the kids VW van, and of course one of the wolves is chasing them. Speeds up and the wolves are still on their tail, just how enhanced by Ulrike's magic are these wolves? Selling the stuff to the Witch Queen, after all this that is the smart thing to do.

“AFTER I photocopy that book and take detailed pictures of the stuff in there.”

Just when you think Slim has gotten some sense.

Separate rooms at a motel in Hartford, why do I see one of them getting attacked and the other rushing to help at one point. Rotten roots, leaves, and bark in a trunk, that is a smell they will never get out. All those things in the 2nd trunk, Slim is going to get into trouble if he tries to figure out what each of them do by trial and error.

an elaborately worked silver full-face mask inlaid with white enamel, with a filigree ‘rose’ over the mouth and a chamsa on the brow. It had holds which hooked over the ears, and a domed forehead that partially covered the front of the head.

Get that thing away from Slim...oh, too late. Already goes to wear it as a lark.

Memo to self: stop reading so much H.P. Lovecraft. That crap never happens in real life.

*sneaks up on Slim with oversized anime mallet, ready to strike for tempting fate* A mask that lets you see mystic text clearly and read it, that is some potent magic. And of course Slim is reading the book. Loud howling and scream from next door, Ulrike found Doc, darn it! PFG that generates a globe to protect himself from the animated shadow wolf, at least Doc isn't hurt badly. And the 'Agonizer' not working, definitely should hint it isn't a living thing.

It was some sort of hungry, predatory, unclean spirit sent here on a very strong leash.

Ulrike trucks with such things, extremely bad. Weird faux-Arabic dagger and tablet of salt, hhm. Enchanted tablet of rock salt, very nice.

“And Salt, especially crystal salt, has virtues to cleanse the corrupt and unclean!” I shot back.

Always wondered that about salt in paranormal movies and such. Sealed the wolf-wraith into the brass bottle, don't tell me that brass bottle is like a genie's bottle.

Crud, Ulrike is after the Power Gems, or so it seems. Otherwise, why go after Doc. And I'm starting to see why Slim didn't jump on Belphegor's conversion process myself, Wheels is going to be in pain once it is over for weeks. That far before Doc realized Slim only has two trunks, the attack really has him rattled. Doc worked for Dr. Nefarius, minion work sounds like a crapshoot.

Oh boy, Slim isn't leaving anything behind.

Among his other alienating habits, Belphegor has a burr in his britches to make Magic and Technology, which normally don’t work together very well, mesh into some kind of push-button sorcery, a notion that doesn’t sit very well with either the High Tech or High Wizardry sets.

Belphegor has gotten even crazier over the years, he was bad enough before. Robo-pigeons, don't tell me Belphegor found Wheels and is going to brainwash him.

He named his VIs Melchior, Caspar, and Balthazar after the Three Wise Men of the Bible, now that is arrogance. Dang, have to go in tonight or Wheels might not survive. Patrol Drones made out to look like ghostly figures from Scooby-Doo, at least he has good taste in shows.

Doc had the combo PFG/ dazzler that had saved his bacon back at the motel (as far as that went), the Agonizer (maybe the next thing he uses it on won’t be zotz-proof), a Spiderman-model multi-chemical sprayer that Belphegor stole from Gizmatic, and an energy weapon with a really fancy name that’s basically a vari-phase plasma carbine with an underslung vibration weapon.

Doc has some great gear, love the energy weapon.

I had a wrist-mounted force-field deflection unit, a power lariat (hey, if it’s good enough for Wonder Woman, it’s good enough for me!), a few glop grenades and another vari-phase plasma weapon with a wider selection of settings and an integral voltage thrower that has a nasty circuitry scrambler function.

Ooo, wonder what the power lariat can do.

A Droid messing with them calling Doc Bajko just to get him to slip up, how long will it keep this up. MELCHIOR moved Wheels because he was attracting too much attention, great, another complication. MELCHIOR goofed, no way to force them to deal with him now, leak from the unit and a trail to follow. A Star Trek-style teleporter and don't even know if it works, best to move along.

Wheels in Bay K, but the 'wakeup' regulation unit is missing, MELCHIOR!

“Five’ll get you Fifty that MELCHIOR nabbed it. I TOLD you that letting virtual intelligences watch Green Acres- or any 1960s sitcom- is a bad idea! Now he’s trying to ‘Mr. Hainey’ us by giving us the stuff we need in drips and drabs!”

You let VI watch that show, extremely bad idea. Doc having to MacGyver what they need together from parts, they just can't catch a break today.

“I ran into one of Belphegor’s new security measures: frictionless surfaces in strategic areas. One of the crates I needed to riffle was in a stack on one of said slip-squares, and nobody told me about it.”

“How’d you get off?”

“Power Lariat,” I hefted the cable. “Wonder Woman is vindicated.”

Yay for power lariat and Wonder Woman fandom. Hehehe, can't believe they got her those clothes and thought it wouldn't attract attention. Triple unmanned security patrols, MELCHIOR squeezing them for something, wonder if Belphegor is going to replace the VI and he wants a way to escape deletion. And someone else is breaking into the place, oh come on! Please let it not be Ulrike and her wolves after the Power Gem which Wheels has.

Those...are a lot of suspects to eliminate so quickly. Bwahahaha, wakes up and freed, so Wheels goes to fondle her new breasts, unconcerned about where they are. Great, so all those reports might have been faked by MELCHIOR to mess with them.

“Any AI that deals with Belphegor for more than three months would have to figure out the Ins and Outs of Lying, just to stay sane!” I counter-argued.

“Come to think of it, PETER, PAUL and MARY all had to be cycled through and replaced when I was henching for him,” Wheels mused. “MARY had to be put down ‘Old Yeller’ style.”

Okay, I would arrange for the authorities to arrest Belphegor even if I was a minion of his on principle.

Crud, I knew it! Ulrike is there and she knows that Wheels has a Power Gem now. Dang, wasn't expected Wheels to klutz-fu them out that one. But now no ability or time to scan her just in case MELCHIOR messed with her while in the chamber. Crap, trapped on a frictionless patch. Use drones to get free, but now the drones know they don't belong there. Huh, so Ulrike and her wolves setting off alarms works in our groups favor, nice.

What the *#@! are those things? Great, bought from Gizmatic through Jobe possibly. In the middle of the slick and completely encapsulated by the glob-drones, no wonder they are banned from being sold in the US, suffocation is a horrible way to go. Okay...which VI made the glob-drones dissolve like that?

MELCHIOR grabbed their stash, and Doc is right, cut your losses and run before it is too late. So Wheels went back to get the Power Gem she dropped, at least Ulrike didn't find it.

But then Doc’s body language completely changed. And worse, with my mask, I saw an ethereal figure rise out of Doc’s body, an invisible to the unawakened eye raven that spread its wings and loomed over him. As Doc grinned at the gem, patterns of invisible energy gathered around his body.

Great, Doc is possessed by some magic individual now. Purple lightning, familiar and yet I can't figure out from where or who.

Hehe, love Wheels sense of humor despite the danger they are, good distraction. Aww, there goes the power lariat, it was a good tool while it lasted. Darn, Shadowmage could free Doc from the Raven, but catch him to send to jail. CASPAR calling about something like that at a time like this, its too ridiculous not to laugh at. Crud, Ulrike actually knows the right answer to CASPAR's question and still wants the Power Gem, as if Slim doesn't have enough on his plate right now.

Ulrike starting to shift and become more wolf-like, gulp. Sending Ulrike after Doc/Raven and get Ulrike and her wolves still get their asses kicked, just who is this Raven? Crap! Raven is going to transfer herself into Ulrike and Ulrike is freaking out, breaks free and runs out of their fast. Dang, try to flee and the Raven boosts Doc's speed to catch up and box them in. Yay! Doc is fighting back against the Raven for control over his body, go Doc!

5-man Belphegor security detail showing up right then, at least Slim and Wheels were able to hide. And Belphegor's Angels too, what else can go wrong now? Slim sure can spin a tale fast, wonder if these guards will fall for it. The Amazon down thanks to teamwork, and wrapped up in duct tape by Wheels. Now winging it and hoping it works out, just hope the Raven doesn't leave any lingering after-effects in Doc. 'Retarius' nice to know what those are called.

Heh, this time CASPAR's question helped them out from an almost-sticky situation. D'oh! Slim, you should have thought before Bajko for Doc's name. I love how Wheels takes out the Bombshell and just takes her shoes. Of course, the salt table gets knocked off Doc and the Raven takes him over again, arrgggh!

Belphegor's Special Projects storage, I don't like the sound of that.

But, Miz Scahlett, I don’t know nothin’ about riffin’ no inventory!

A Gone with the Wind Reference, excellent.

But instead, CASPAR came across with something really useful: Belphegor had bits and pieces of various gadgets in that warehouse that could be combined to create a capture/ restraint drone. All we had to do was get the junk together in front of an assembly drone and hook CASPAR up to it.

But can the drone hold Doc/Raven Witch without being destroyed?

Crap! MELCHIOR is tricking them into getting the parts it needs to build itself a mobility platform so it can escape. At least Wheels spotted a bunch of stuff that might be useful. He turned his old 'Egg' chair design into traps, at least he is still using them. PFGs, now those are useful. A Duplicator and a Shrink Ray, seesh, Belph sure likes his toys.

Vortex Generator, oh please let it be able to hold off the Raven Witch at least for a little while. Ouch, blinded by the light and then have Doc/Raven looming over him only to blast with a ball of plasma which the Raven doesn't like, hhm. Belph's Angels and a squad of goldmasks show up, but aren't prepared. Two of the Angels caught by their own net turned back on them, Doc/Raven using the Agonizer on the guards, yikes.

Ulrike is back and taking on the Amazon, while the Gamine has to deal with the wolves. Patrol spooks and trikes turning on the Goldfaces, is Casper helping them or is Melchior trying to make them owe him a favor? Figures, Ulrike made a deal with Melchior, talk about gullible. Oh crud, so that is where the Raven came from, in the bottle he used to trap the wolf-wraith and freed by Slim when he opened it.

Artful Dodger, you idiot! Never interrupt someone who is dealing with a spirit. All hell breaks loose and they have to help AD with the wolf-wraith. Dang, the Vortex Generator doing all that, just what power supply did Belph put in it? Doc in one of the 'Egg' chairs, the Raven fear and lashing out, Ulrike the biggest threat right now. Takedown Ulrike, leave the Raven for Belph to deal with and book it out of there already. Sounds great to me, this plan went sideways when MELCHIOR got involved.

Yikes! Wheels just done goofed by trying to fire that weapon into the path of a Vortex Generator's definition cone.

“You went to school?”

“With Belpho?”

“And ‘Belflabbo’, ‘Belfroggo’, ‘Belfartor’, ‘Blobphegor’-”

I want to know who the Artful Dodger is now, could it be Jade perhaps with a fake Cockney accent? Ack! Right then the Vortex Generator chooses to fail and the Raven goes for Wheels, bad day. What setting does Wheels have that weapon set to, it seems to work on spirits well.

Then one of Wheel’s misfires hit something that burst out of its storage container and looked like a Jetsons idea of a washing machine run amok. It bounced around and the ‘wishbone’ array that popped up from the front showed that it was some sort of Jacob’s Ladder. Wheels fired a couple of more times at it, hoping to short it out, but if anything, that just seemed to encourage it.

Belpho needs to learn to dispose of these things instead of hoarding them. Oh boy, very bad day. Ulrike about to take control of the Raven, she knows her stuff to have the tools on hand.

Artful Dodger hates dealing with spooks, so not Jade, still curious who it could be. AD has something which can harm the wolf-wraith, is dealing with Ulrike, only to have Doc break free of the 'Egg' chair and looking crazy, just one break, just one is all I ask. Figures the Raven would go back into him when barred from her other options. Darn it! Wheels trying to help only to hit the wishbone-washer thing which spawns an energy creature which goes after the Goldfaces who decide to run for it finally.

[You’re in Warehouse D, and you just set off the Boss’ Electromorph Cultivator that’s he’s been meaning to examine- since high school,] CASPAR cut me off.

Belpho built something like that, good grief.

[Slim, you’re not in Belphegor’s Special Projects warehouse- that’s in Brownsville. Why would he have his Special Projects warehouse in Yonkers? That’s his Flawed Projects warehouse, where he stashes the stuff that isn’t immediately useful, or has major problems, but might be useful or repairable later on]

MELCHIOR!

[Just have Wheels zap it with that ‘ray gun’ she’s been blasting all over the place. It was supposed to be an energy weapon, but instead it remotely projects an energy charge to an electrical device that lasts for on an average, 5 to 8 minutes]

He invents a mean of projecting an energy charge to electrical devices and doesn't think to find a way to market it, idiot.

Boy, those Angels are smart to duck when someone yells to duck. An energy projector that can hold the Raven and the Artful Dodger found it and know how to use it, curiouser and curiouser. Bound it into his smartphone, now there is improvisation. Darn it! The Angels are up and in the mood for interrogation. Ulrike blasting at them and AD, only to not do much.

Okay, the Angels chatting Belphegor's name like that, beyond creepy. Wonder if that means he is actually there now. Ah crap, Ulrike used something that triggered their programming, including Wheels now. Ouch, Doc is in very bad shape and unconscious, Slim having to use a motorized hand-truck to move him. Darn, Belpho is in his Brownsville lair, where his MedBay is.

Ulrike uses the teleporter to escape, probably at Belpho's Brownsville lair now. Oh great, now they have to sneak into Belpho's other base to patch up Doc, then back in to get him out, plus rescue Wheels and hopefully remove the brainwashing. And he even made the teleporter work like the one on Star Trek, great. Oh good, AD got to the other side safely. And now Doc. And now we leave off with Slim about to be teleported and it is Star Trek: TOS teleporter, oh boy. Can't wait for the next part, talk about a cliff hanger.

Two Artful Dodgers, okay, just how weird is this story going to get? Or is that Doc and he somehow got transformed into a twin of AD? And Slim is a twin of the Artful Dodger as well, yup, just got weirder.

The Dodger rocks the ‘minx’ look, with a shot of the ‘Tomboy’ look, and maybe a jot of ‘Feline’. She was a little too curvy for the ‘girl gymnast’ kink, but was definitely built for agility and speed.

Dang, trying to narrow down who in Whateley Gen 1 this could have been is going to be harder than I thought.

The Dodger’s face was your basic ‘cute minx’ with a delicate face, upturned nose, wide gray sloe eyes, dramatic cheekbones and a mouth that seemed born to smirk.

Could be Zenith, but her eyes are sapphire blue. No idea who AD could be, as except for the eyes the description doesn't fit with Dragonrider aka Lindsay.

AD wondering why they are all taking this so well, heh.

“The teleporter used your template to re-create us,” I explained. “Which is something that happens in badly written Star Trek fanfic, but in real life? Why do I think I’m me? Howcome I didn’t rez back into existence thinking that I’m the Artful Dodger? CRAP! It didn’t store our templates! I didn’t wipe the template, and the buffer didn’t acquire any new templates while yours was still in there!” That prompted a question: “You wiped the template?” I asked the Dodger.

“Yes!”

“Why?”

“It was fucking obvious! You’re supposed to be these big tech-heads, why didn’t YOU think of it without my telling you?”

Heh, that explains that bit of weirdness. And figures it was a trap, Belpho probably wouldn't trust teleport technology even he built. Crap! Molecularly unstable and could die in a gruesome way months or years from now, Belpho is a sadistic monster to use that as a trap.

Now they just have to get the stabilizer and go through the teleporter again, what could go wrong? Good plan, wonder what Murphy's Law will throw in their way this time.

Then, proving that she had, as suspected, taken a level in wiseass, tweaked my cheek and smirked, “Now how can I say ‘No’ to a face like that? How DO Men say no to such a sweet, innocent angel-face?” Then she groped my ass, and said something about always thinking that she had a tight ass, but it was nice to have objective proof.

Oh boy, sounds like someone from Poe is AD.

Yeah, I know, it’s a little Playground Rules, but really, a sad amount of ‘Kidthink’ runs through the Criminal Mentality.

Well, that explains a few things.

Oh crud, all those things lost including the phone with the Raven in it. Doc still has the Power Gems and all her gear, that teleporter is weird.

“Okay, I’m a mutant. But beyond preterhuman levels of speed, savvy, cute, daring and raw COOL, my primary mutant trait is that I’m what’s called a ‘Warper’. I have the ability to bend the very fabric of space. Now, some Warpers do that and teleport, move immediately from one place to another. And some can warp things so that they’re in two places at the same time. That’s not my thing. I create a ‘shell’ that sort of… avoids contact… with everything else. My ‘Artful Dodger’ thing is that shell keeps people from hitting me while I beat the crap out of them. Believe me, those first few months where I was figuring that out were a nightmare! Besides the ‘no touchee’ thing, I can use the shell to sort of ‘skate’ along the ground, put some real bounce in my jumping and some real knockback in my punches. AND- here’s where you should give a shit- I can ‘pocket’ stuff, just stash it away that’s… somewhere else… ‘pocket space’ or whatever scientists call it.

“What I think happened is that all of your stuff that you had on you that wasn’t, y’know, part of your body and just kicked to the curb when I got overwritten onto your code, got sluffed off into pocketspace.”

Okay, I don't think we know a student in Gen 1 yet who has that set of powers, very interesting. But please say we are going to get to meet her Gen 1 self eventually.

And Doc gets ahold of CASPAR and they're finally at Belpho's real Special Projects warehouse, things are looking up. Rats, looting spree postponed for now. And once more the status quo is back, Belpho has the Stabilizer and Wheels attacked him but is having to deal with his Hench-wenches now. Mini Precision Omnitools, very nice. Slim did a nice rigging on the doors, at least MELCHIOR can't mess with those now. Slim does great work quickly.

Of course, Doc found a pair of Doctor Octopus arms, what good mad scientist doesn't make a pair at one point or another. Okay...that gauntlet Doc has makes me nervous. A Vortex Gun, a deflector PFG, and a coherent energy field version of a Power Armor, dang, Doc found the good stuff. A lightsaber and that tablet, good grief, too many options is right. Doc's already figured out the pocket dimension storage and duplicated herself despite how painful AD says it is to do, oh boy.

From what CASPAR just said it sounds like Wheels figured out the duplication trick as well, probably left the dup behind to deal with Belpho and his henches. Hehehe, Doc finding out about the nicknames Belpho had back at Whateley is adorable, like a kid on Christmas morning. Ack! The headache of 'is it, isn't it' about the AIs again.

Found Ulrike's wolves and AD is about to kill them when she gets tackled by Wheels. Who is acting strange, almost feral like a wolf, please tell me things didn't get mixed up in their teleport as well. And forces Slim to duplicate, don't tell me Ulrike became Wheels' twin when she went through the teleporter.

Slim klutzes out with AD's powers and wrecks the place.

“Oh, you just performed a near-perfect reenactment of my first manifestation of my Warping trait,” Dodger said as she helped Doc to her feet. “You did a little better than I did, as you had the advantage of not being 14 years old, and you probably have had a lot more exposure to weirdness than I did back then.”

Yikes. And Ulrike can shift back to her original appearance and clothing, at least we won't get her and Wheels mixed up now. Finally! Slim figures out the original container for the Power Gems is warded, if they could have done that sooner Ulrike wouldn't keep finding them so easily.

Hehe, split up the gems to mess with Ulrike, nice description of it. Wonder if the red gem does need the other two to be used safely, or if Doc is good at bluffing. Allowances for cows falling out of the sky, slim odds but with everything that has happened since they started this caper, I would still take a bet on it happening somehow.

Slim hit from behind, chaos seems to be the catchword for their day. And took out the Bel-Squad, dang. MELCHIOR needs to get his comeuppance already. Hmm, why did Slim reset the escape feature so it would only work for her, what about Doc, AD, and Wheels? Poor Wheels, to have those kinds of feelings forced on her, and towards Belpho. *shudders* Horniness ray, that idiot actually worked on such a thing, ugh.

Wheels has a great idea for finding Ulrike, plus a bit of revenge on one of her wolves in the process. Ulrike disguised in a 'Spook' cloak and being aided by MELCHIOR, is she still looking for Wheels or something else now? Ah, the 'Tortise beats Hare' game which was used on Bugs Bunny, Ulrike is going to be so confused she won't know if she is coming or going.

But given my track record with nice, neat, simple plans, who was I to cast asparagus?

Nice to see Slim has a sense of humor despite this mess. Darn, Ulrike didn't go for the plan and actually acts Slim and forces her to split again. She has the Grimoire! Doc to the rescue!

She shot a spray of adhesive goop at Ulrike. Ulrike, who already had a grip on the shroud that she had me wrapped in, just used one of me to block that. By the way, Stan Lee, spraying someone with glue doesn’t form bonds that tie them up; it just makes them sticky.

Well, that is disappointing, could really use it against Ulrike right now.

Wraith-wolf sent at Doc who splits in two and uses the tablet for a blinding flash of light, then the Vortex Gun to blow it away, that tornado is going to be trouble. Wheels being pursued by Belpho's security, darn it! Can anything else go wrong? Doc with the 'force field power armor' and Doc Ock arms, now that is a brutal combo. Eyow! Slim getting beat up and the Witch Hunter's stash stolen from her by Ulrike.

Ulrike has the clear blue power gem and says she is going to hand them over to MELCHIOR after they had over the others. Bwahaha, very nice bluff AD did with an explosive that looks like a purple power gem, Ulrike is learning things the hard way today. D'oh! Doc screwed up, you never patch all your 'toys' into one battery. Everyone but AD shackled by Belpho's human security and taken to see the obnoxious one himself, I hope they all get out of this alive and not enslaved by Belpho. Wait, Jack Rabbit and Crimson Kid are still active!?!

Belpho has them in clear glassine tubes, he better not be planning to experiment on them! All that armor for the stabilizer, Belpho is a bit paranoid. Belpho is being smart, takes all their gear off them. Rădescu, so it is Belpho's Security Honcho who is paranoid. Belpho upset about the Power Gems and enchanted items being in his base right now, just what is he working on they could disrupt?

Doc is really bluffing Belpho good, the big ego-maniac is even believing him about Ulrike and CASPAR. And CASPAR passes the buck to MELCHIOR who isn't answering, maybe two problems can solve each other for our group. Man, all of them have to keep bluffing Belpho and friends, at least CASPAR covering his own ass is working out so well. And Slim using half-truths as well, the best lies are based in truth. After all this mess I doubt Ulrike is going to get out in one piece.

“Cast it in a block of cement, take the block out past the Continental Shelf, and throw it into the Atlantic,” I offered. “And I’d have a priest bless the block before you chuck it over the side.”

Is this a reference to something? If not, excellent job on a great visual. CASPAR covering for them, but reveals they went through the Transporter Trap to Belpho, rats. Now we don't know if he is bluffing about one of them having little time left or not. The Pharaoh insisted on this exact time to Belpho, so he is working on a project for someone else.

“Keep an eye on them as I negotiate with the Pharaoh. And keep a gun emplacement trained on that table with all the gewgaws on it. If any of the Pharaoh’s men go for anything on it- go Full Red.”

Belpho dealing with a magic-user and his minions, guessing it is connected to still trying to combine his devises and magic. Rădescu is a paranoid perfectionist, he must be a nightmare to work under.

A Boom Tube to bring his 'guests', Slim, Doc, and Wheels need to get out of there, now! And the Pharaoh lives up the name, gaudy display of wealth and servants, his minions bringing in more and all the golden stuff. The chat between Belpho and the Pharaoh, I really don't like the way the Pharaoh hesitated upon seeing the power gems.

He created women for the Pharaoh, this is just sick and wrong on so many levels. Protospirits, Belpho is messing around with the likes of protospirits. Welp, he is still an idiot after all these years. A Meta-Fusion Reactor and he wants to power it with protospirits, guessing Belpho never watched the Venture Brothers. And Belpho has captured the Blue Comet who is empowered by a protospirit, this is going to get very bad, isn't it?

“Her spirit has not entered Duat, the realm of the Dead. She never died.” He gave his followers a gesture of command, and the Acolyte in robes started taking gear that was slung under the gurney and doing things with them. “Rather, for the past 12 years, she has been struggling furiously with a Spirit of Torment. I cannot undo the past 12 years, but I can turn the spirit’s nature against it, take those 12 years, and cause it to metamorphose into a Spirit of Pathesis, the wisdom that comes only from prolonged suffering. This will free Luxara’s mind and spirit to leave her spent, pain-wracked body, as to be placed in the new, vibrant receptacle you have provided, Belphegor.”

And the Pharaoh is attempting something very questionable, imo.

“And, on the other end of the scale, the working you need is very demanding. I will need to exploit the Rule of Balance, of ‘Value for Value’. But my wife’s restoration is still only imminent, but not yet actual. When her restoration has been realized, a concrete fact rather than an abstract possibility, then the Rule of Balance will empower my binding the protospirits for you, an actuality for an actuality.”

Okay, when has exploiting the Rule of Balance ever worked out without complications. P.S. Loving all the new details on the magical world of the Whateley Universe.

*eyes bug out at the list of things being used* Bad idea, very bad idea. Gah! Is that what a Spirit of Torment looks like, now that is just nasty. This ritual is very...detailed and brutal, I would hate to actually witness it with my eyes. And it worked, but with magic, there could be long-term complications. Too bad this means Belpho is getting what he wants. Luxara, pretty name for the Pharaoh's wife.

I could tell that his tools were first-rate workmanship, and he used them with the casual certainty that you see in real pros. I felt like an EMT watching a world-class surgeon crack a chest.

And we know why Belpho was sucking up to the Pharaoh so much, someone with that kind of magical skill isn't to be trifled with. CASPAR or MELCHIOR chooses right now to attack the Pharaoh and his forces, which think Belpho has double-crossed them and set out to flee using the Boom Tube.

Belpho going for a hidden egg chair, Rădescu hit by a freeze grenade and the Belphettes going on the offensive against the Pharaoh's forces. Our girls freed by a line of blaster fire, and Slim trying to make sense of the chaos going on around them. Two forces and whichever AI is guiding other forces, this whole thing is hard to follow unless you read it yourself. Ah, so Ulrike doesn't have complete control over if she shifts into Wheels' form or not, that's helpful. And not, the Raven Witch is loose again!

Heh, the Pharaoh knows how to cuss in such exotic languages. Slim and Wheels fouling up and wrecking the place, they are going to need training in their new powers. Yay! Sounds like AD is back and Slim has the clear blue gem in her hands now. Oh crud, Slim's hormones messing with her right now as she looks at the Blue Comet, just what they don't need right now. Wait, his full codename is the Black Pharaoh, figures.

So the clear blue gem is about stabilizing forms somehow, interesting. When Belpho plans for an ambush he goes all out, good thing the AIs are too busy to initiate it all. Wheels, don't get Slim distracted with your trashy novel talk. Great, get past the Pharaoh and the Raven to get the Stabilizer, once again into the breach. *facepalms* Ulrike is blinded by greed if she tries to steal from the Pharaoh.

AD going to get PFGs for them, shoot, after all this I would ask if she was hiring. A harness for when Blue Comet gets his Comet Essence back, bet since Belpho made it it will burn out after a short time.

“Yeah… but he’s cute!” I was not blushing, I was NOT blushing!

Wheels pixied up her face, let out a squee and picked me up in a crushing hug. “Oh, our little girl is going through pooberty!”

Would someone please remind me why I hang out with these two?

No one like your best friends to tease you.

Nice new gear for Slim. Well, this is an even bigger mess now, probably could edit footage from this fight for a horror movie. And Luxara seems to have more common sense than her husband, when if she figured out how she was brought into her new body. Boom Tube still up but can only bring in 1 or 2 at a time, that limits the Pharaoh's forces. Ulrike almost gets the Raven Witch for herself, until our girls free the spirit accidentally, eep.

Crud! The Blonde Bombshell Perfect Girlfriend Body has been taken over by the Raven Witch, things just got a whole lot worse.

She yanked that crystal ankh out of his hands, put some distance between them, and reached out with a bright light from the ankh. The beam of light hit the ibis/snake/egg, which did strange things with the ‘Meta-Fusion Reactor’ (whatever the hell THAT is). The Pharaoh broke off his squabble with his wife, grabbed his Horus-head staff and lashed out with a shaft of ruby-red light, snagging the pearly egg. There was some kind of tug-o’-war between them, which did some seriously strange things to the Meta-Fusion Reactor.

At this rate, the Meta-Fusion Reactor is going to blow and do some very weird things to the area.

*freaks out* Luxara used the Witch Hunter's Demonslayer dagger to kill the Pharaoh! Right while he had control over that Egg, and it, of course, explodes with only AD avoiding the blast.

When my brain went back online, the first thing that I heard was Belphegor’s road company Shakespearean voice asking, “By the beard of Paracelsus… what in the name of sad, besieged SANITY is going ON in this miraculous madhouse?”

Don't tell me one of those protospirits in the Egg was somehow from centuries ago. 10 'Dodgers' and 8 of them are Doc, this just got even weirder. Don't tell me, I can guess, everyone in the area got infused with a protospirit.

Wait a minute, red, green, and blue energy. Did the Egg somehow infuse power from the Power Gems into everyone in the area? This is getting confusing as to what just happened. Ugh, the Raven Witch and Ulrike killing those guys for the power in them now.

It was a vision of the Seraphim, the ones described in the Book of Enoch, a glorious golden serpent with six feathery wings and for a head, a ‘Star of David’ with a fiery eye in each triangle. This impossibility hovered there for a moment, and then dived into the Redhead Perfect Girlfriend Body.

*feels brain just barely avoid breaking* Just how many newly empowered beings will come into existence in this story?

Slim just levitated all the stuff off the table and created a wall of force to stop the gunfire of Belpho's goons, magic power, weirder and weirder. Doc splits into 8 again and they have the Stabilizer, time to book it to the Transporter Trap. Argggh! Wraith-Wolf snatches the Stabilizer out of Slim's hand. Don't tell me, due to Ulrike being pumped by the Egg she can create more powerful Wraith-Wolves now.

The Composite Proto-Spirit in the Redhead PGF Body gestures and takes Ulrike's wolf-staff right out of her hand, and we don't even know if she is a threat to our group or not yet. Nice move by Wheels and Slim can fly too, amped up magic for her is awesome! Doc is 'going frizzy' now, they need the Stabilizer past-tense! Shit! Laxara was only going to slap the Pharaoh, but flew to the dagger and couldn't help herself, who or what force her to kill her husband?

MELCHIOR messed with the PGFBs, bastard AI forced Laxara to kill her husband. MELCHIOR needs to be erased and make sure there are no back-ups. At least Laxara knows about them now, I hope she is involved in killing this monster AI. Al-Mutamaliq has the Staff of Horus and seeks to kill Laxara to take leadership of the Sect for himself. Seesh, it is like a weird Soap Opera right now.

Better to deal with Laxara than to live on the run from the Scorpions the rest of their lives. Track Ulrike using magic, nice to have a new ally, even if of conveniences, right now. Ack! Ambush from above by Ulrike and she pulls a Big Bad Wolf on them, can't believe she has that trick now. And Wheels is a liability right now, great.

Ulrika was chasing the Raven Witch. The Raven Witch was chasing that ‘Meta spirit’ in the Redheaded Perfect Girlfriend Body. The Meta Redhead was chasing after the Black Scorpions. The Black Scorpions were chasing after us. And we were chasing after the Belphettes with the Stabilizer in that manhole cover.

"Scorecards, get your scorecards." Sorry, couldn't resist.

Bwahaha, Doc took the important piece out of the 'Meta-Fusion Reactor' and plans to give it back to Belpho's crew not knowing any better. Aww, Slim jealous of Wheels getting carried by BC, adorable. Ulrike and the Raven Witch fighting while the Meta-Spirit is bound in glowing purple energy, we need a drawing of this scene! And Luxara reveals their locations on purpose to lure Al-Mutamaliq to their location, very sneaky.

The scariest thing about this scene is the Meta-Spirit's attitude, just how powerful is she/it?

No, the Meta-Spirit, who’d been watching all of this like an eager student, casually ripped herself out of those chains of magic, and snagged the sphere. She studied it like it was a game store puzzle. Then she… folded it… like origami, turned it inside out, turned it around, made origami out of the wolf, and… it screamed.

I watched horror movies when I was younger and nothing freaked me out as much as that description. And then what it does next to the spirit and machines, yikes. Al-Mutamaliq and scorpion troops show up, he tries to bind the Raven Witch, and one of the Scorpion troops loses a hand to the Meta-Spirit, yikes.

So, of course, Belpho and his goons all show up right then to make the situation worse. All that tech and the Meta-Spirit is mashing it together with magical items from the Raven Witch, good grief. Belpho, you are a moron, he is actually throwing stuff into the spirit hoping it will make cooler stuff. Bel-Bots and 'Ushabti' animated statues tear each other apart, this place is going to be nothing but rubble at this rate.

Then the Meta-Spirit did something really weird that cost al-Muthafuq one of his eyes, that somehow merged my Grimoire with that mirror/astrolabe thing, the canopic jar the Pharaoh had stashed the Spirit of Wisdom in, a couple of the Raven Witch’s projects, and…. the three power gems into a single kickass book.

Figure out how to get the Stabilizer and run!

The two wraiths brought the staff, ankh and mask to the Meta-Spirit who used the Mega-Book to fuse the staff, ankh, mask and wraiths into a really kickass staff of power.

Okay, they need to destroy the Meta-Spirit somehow or I think the world is doomed at this rate.

She used the wraiths she summoned to form Mega-Ushabtis! That tome was an Agrippa, a bound demon, and now it is probably whispering new ideas to the Meta-Spirit. We are at Def-Con Apocalypse impending! Great, the Meta-Spirit is becoming more and more unstable, what are the odds it doesn't explode as well. Doc altering 6 PFGs into a jail, are we sure she isn't a Gadgeteer?

Dang, Doc the only one who can get the belt working once it is around the Meta-Spirit.

“Okay, Doc? Let me put it to you this way,” Wheels said, looking straight into her eyes. “You’re finally a cute girl. But if we don’t get that book, the odds are that you’ll be a puddle of GOO before you ever have sex.”

Well, that certainly some motivation to do the job. Slim still has the athame, at least she still has something from that job. Meta-Spirit trapped, everyone but our gang confused, Belpho has fled the battlefield, typical. Glowing purple bees, great, Slim just created her first hobgoblins.

“ooops!”

Classic.

Meta-Spirit trying to break free and Doc needs help, what else can go wrong?

I felt too much energy flow from me again, and a bevy of neon-bright multi-colored squirrels formed around us, and they promptly zipped off in all different directions. On the upside, the wolf-wraiths chased after then, canines being canines, and they ran in among the warring factions, confusing them all to hell.

And her second hobgoblins are almost exactly like Fey's first ones, too good.

Slim having to reach into to take the Mega-Book, but uses her new power to levitate it out instead, very handy ability. Another hobgoblin and Slim stuffs it into the containment with the Meta-Spirit, uh oh. Al-Mutamoron uses the Demonslayer dagger to stab the Meta-Spirit and she explodes, way to make things worse. Crap, all that energy going into Slim, at this rate she will be a super-powerful mage with none of the training or experience to control it.

Great, everyone else there powered up again as well. 20 copies for Doc now, Mutamoron flowing with power, Blue Comet and Wheels wreathed in energy.

But Ulrike? She was like this silhouette of a wolf-woman with eyes and teeth that glowed with power. Her amulet had merged with this sheath of energy to form a kind of mask, and her gauntlets (don’t ask me where she got the damn things) flowed into the long claws at the ends of her fingers, and her wolf-headed staff had gotten a similar upgrade, with a golden head and glowing red eyes. Gathered around her were yet more, bigger, nastier wolf-wraiths.

Belpho, you shouldn't call her another She-Beast, that is an insult to She-Beast.

Ulrike takes the staff from Al-Mutamoron, the Raven Witch takes the Demonslayer dagger, and even more powered up. Slim and the gang go to flee only to be surrounded by all of the minion types, just one break is all they need. Who set off the 'Disco Ball of Doom'? Is AD back and helping from hiding? And Wheels can fly as well now, good grief.

Well, they all came out ahead in the loot department, that's for sure. The Meta-Spirit upgraded BC's harness, dang. CASPAR set off the DBoD, nice. MELCHIOR is going to do something to Belpho and our girls still need him to stabilize their bodies. The Witch's bottle got turned into the 'Aladdin's Lamp', interesting metamorphosis. A Grail of Vitality and it use Coke to create the elixir, priceless.

Leaving BC to watch over Luxara, smart, still not sure I believe her about an outside force making her kill the Pharaoh.

giant spotted snorklewhacker

Is that anything like the giant purple snorklewhacker from Bloom Country?

Okay, this power boost for Slim allows her to know what magical items are and how they work, serious power boost. The utility belt and then the power ring, that activation code phrase for the ring is too perfect for Slim.

A huge brilliantly blue octopus whose body was the head of a roaring lion congealed into existence.

Well, just take pictures of the hobgoblins and post them online, sure to get millions of hits. Ah, so it was Slim saying give her a freaking break, the activation code is "I HAVE THE POWER!", nice He-Man reference.

The 'McMurphy Solution', wonder why Belpho calls it that. Doc can energize electronics now, good grief, how much power do each of them have now including their gadgets? Blueprints and Belpho made a Skulljacker, okay, hand him over to the authorities already. Doc set up a booby-trapped egg-chair for Belpho to fall into, perfect. Belpho actually ran to Bay J where Slim left his own egg-chair trap, Belpho really needs to learn to think about what others might do before acting.

Darn it, can't threaten Belpho to get the back-up stabilizer. Slim figures out where the stabilizer chip is and that Belpho was gaming them, after he teleports him to his Trenton base. Have to get BC, Luxara and AD back first before using the transporter to stabilize themselves, please no more complications. A magical prison with no name, very smart.

Have to take down Ulrike so Dodger can get her locked up, and put down RW, at least it is because Slim knows they will be threats to them if left on the loose.

“Taking the Comet with us,” I insisted. Doc and Wheels gave me knowing smirks. “What? You never know what’s going to happen to you in the supervillain biz; it can’t hurt to have a superhero owing you a Solid!”

Sure, that's why you want to take him with you.

“We are cowards,” I defended Doc and myself. “We’re weaseling out of getting burned worse down the line by running into the fire while it’s low.”

Good phrase.

BC and Luxara hiding behind crates, RW has the Power Staff and control over the Mecha-Ushabtis, Ulrike and everyone else taking cover, once more into the chaos. Slim blaming the athame for botching another spell, she needs to face it, she has too much power and no experience controlling it properly yet. Okay, these hobgoblins are even weirder than the last. Nice, sound, simple plan. I can see why Slim is whimpering, those haven't worked so far.

BD can erect a wall of blue force now, he is going to have a lot of explaining to do to the other local heroes. Doc and Wheels have RW in a good grip, then Slim botches another spell and gets creepy mermaid hobgoblins. Someone call Fey to give Slim lessons! Perfect time for the Power Ring to quit working, and Slim about to be blasted by the Staff of Horus [upgraded], meep.

Slim blasted and splits apart into two unstable versions of herself, the Slim without the book being pulled towards RW and the main Slim panicking while trying to cast another spell. RW sucked up the copy of Slim!

This time, she erupted in a shower of golden glowing circles that were wheels within wheels, rings within rings and stars with eyes in the corners and wings and unburning fire. The swarm of whatever those were shot out at the Raven Witch, and for a brief desperate moment, Doc thought that her friend had finally pulled one off. The rings bound the Raven Witch hand and foot, and whirled around her head in a halo, and raced around her body, lifting it up. But then the Raven Witch opened her eyes and smiled in triumph. She gestured at the last surviving scrap of Doc’s friend, partner in crime and good companion, and that ghostly wisp followed her sister into the Raven Witch’s mouth.

No, no, no! RW just ate Slim! Please don't let this be the end of Slim, please let there be a way to get her back.

When even Ulrike pauses at what the Raven Witch just did to Slim, you know it bad. Doc and Wheels charge her, while Luxara manifests a tall figure of a lion-headed woman in Egyptian dress, with an elaborate headdress, the Raven Witch just made a huge mistake. BC not sure of what to do, Doc's attack failing, what is up with her telescoping arms right now. All that stuff in Doc's pockets, rats, no immediate combat value.

As Wheels bashed at the Mecha-Ushabtis, the Raven Witch ducked behind their cover and said, “GUYS! What the FUCK? It’s ME, Slim!”

“You ATE Slim, you BITCH!” Wheels snarled.

“No, I took her over! Remember, at this level she’s just a possessor spirit, so when the Witch ‘swallowed’ me, she didn’t consume me, she just put me on an even footing with her. The other half of me had her True Name from the Mega-Book, so I went into spirit combat with her, while the other half of me cast the binding spell!”

Wait, Slim planned all this from when his half outside started casting the ritual, impressive. Great, Al-Mutamoron is back in action.

“Do you MIND?” she screeched, “We’re having a ‘The View’ moment here!”

Okay, yeah, that is definitely Slim in control of the Raven Witch's new body.

At least Slim made Rădescu realize continuing to fight was a losing affair at this point and got him to order a withdrawal.

Wheels broke off and watched the Goldfaces file out with a slack jaw. “GAW-DAMN! You TALKED them out of here. Even SLIM would have-” she stopped short and goggled at the Blonde.

“Damn Skippy…” the Blonde hissed gutturally through clenched teeth, eyes squinting.

“It IS Slim,” Wheels said with a flat disgusted voice.

“Yeah,” Doc agreed, pulling herself together and shedding many weapons into pocketspace, “A Raven Witch might be able to pull all that Bee-Ess out from Slim’s memories, but only SLIM would think that lame-ass Clint Eastwood impression was cool.”

I like them, their silly.

Group hug interrupted by Ulrike and her wolf wraiths, that woman needs to learn timing. Mer-skanks, Doc having octo-arms, are those expressions or did I miss something which Sekhmet did? Ulrike grabs the Staff of Horus from Slim but has no idea how to use it. Slim forming an Eldritch Shield in her left hand, and Battle Stars in her right, forced to expend some of her newest weapons against wolf-wraiths and Ulrike claws becoming tangled in the Dodger Bandolier on Slim.

Battlestars flung at Ulrike, it is a battle of the sorceresses! *winces* 'Pepper spray' from Belpho's knockoff sprayer amplified by PK and Ulrike is hit hard.

Then the bandolier on her claw let off an electric shock that you could hear, and went flash and bang. As Ulrike dealt with that, a thick (and damn noxious, even from this distance) smoke erupted, and a metallic band wrapped around her, but it tangled up her head and arms.

And AD is back and uses the bandoliers to wrap up Ulrike, wondering where she went too. And she does a lot more to ensure Ulrike can't escape before disappearing with her, good grief.

And the chaos continues, with Luxara upset and it seems AD mistook the Staff of Horus for Ulrike's wolf staff, great, some 'pro'.

Not trusting Luxara to give me a straight answer, I asked the book, and it informed me that it was an all-purpose talisman and amulet that shifted the runes and minor stones in its clockwork computer around to form the proper patterns for a desired working.

That sounds like an extremely powerful talisman, at least to me. And the Ushabti are just motionless statues right now, heh. I definitely wouldn't trust Luxara to have the mechanism directly. The Khephr-ta and Al-Mutamoron has it, why can't it be simply just once!?!

The Brute uses a BFG and leaves BC stunned and his energy wall down. Crap! Al-Mutamoron has his minion fire at them and it is a shrink ray, things keep getting more complicated. Heh, forgot Slim had the 'Unshrink' counter-measure on her, good thinking ahead. Luxara just has to take the devise and try to bluff the Scorpions into making her their cult leader. And fighting over it now, good grief, I won't say it or I know it will happen.

Broken and Doc insists she can fix it. *groan* At least they tested it on one of the Scorpion troops first, gruesome. BC next and grows to 20 feet tall, Doc, you need help with this stuff already. Heh, glad Slim did that using the Book, no idea how long Doc would keep goofing up if she hadn't taken the matter in her own hands. And Al-Mutamoron stabbed, how did Luxara get ahold of the Demonslaying Dagger in the first place?

The Scorpions vowing loyalty to Luxara, Slim uses a healing spell on Al-Mutamoron to save his life. And that mess is over, the Scorpions back to normal size and Luxara in command, Slim giving her the mechanism to control the Ushabti. And they have to escape through the teleportation device now before the police get the lot of them. CASPAR isn't there, oh oh. BALTHAZAR the only AI left, now there is a terrifying reveal.

Bwahahaha, the Brute left shrunk because the Unshrinkerator ran out of juice right before they got to him, priceless. Doc taunting Slim and Wheels about having bodies by Belphegor, guess with the fighting done she is back to her snarky self. Arrggh! Luxara just pulled a double-cross on them, she is so going to regret this.

“Now, I have the advantage, and I must consider the sacred mission and future prosperity of the Black Pharaoh Sect, over petty matters of personal honor.”

Okay, the Black Pharaoh Sect and her need to be wiped out already, no upholding a deal is low.

“I have to wonder, Luxara” I said calmly. “Did the Pharaoh go through all this to restore you because he thought that suffering had tempered you somehow, made you wiser or more compassionate? Or was it simply that after 12 Years, he’d forgotten what a cast-iron bitch you are?”

The Pharaoh obviously forgot what a power-hungry woman his wife was.

Blaming them for AD stealing the Staff of Horus, claims to have empowered the Khephr-ta herself, she is nuts.

“She killed my husband and made off with his greatest talisman. For that, you and these other three murderers and thieves will pay recompense to the-” she garbled something in that language of hers, probably the Mystically Correct version of the Black Pharaoh cult. Oh, yeah, she’s playing the ‘I didn’t kill my husband, they did; that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it’ card.

And refusing to accept she killed her husband, even if she was forced to by BALTHAZAR or CASPAR. Takes RW out of Slim, power out of Doc, Wheels, then over to BC, and finally Slim, great.

Pixie, don't tell me we have a new player now? Talking to Shadowmage and seeing the events transpiring with our unfortunate group. And she almost recognizes Doc in AD duplicate body, interesting. And Shadowmage is upset by what Luxara is doing to them, cobbling something together from parts in his utility belt, hhm.

The freak was one of those ‘Things that should not be’, a central mass with way too many eyes and mouths, slime dripping everywhere, and a tangle of long chitinous tendrils with fanged mouths at the ends; it was maybe the 15th or 16th ickiest thing she’d ever seen. The Thing that Should Not Be tore Spooky Blonde out of the Golem’s grip and pulled Queenie out of her throne as well. The Golems dropped Superguy and the petite one, but TTTSNB grappled them, dropping Spooky Blonde and Queen Nasty to do it.

That was drawn out of Slim, eep. At least it seems to be protective of her and her friends. Luxara tries to stab Slim in the back, when it sounds like the 'Back-urchin' is back and did it jobs well, 4th time it's saved Slim's life.

Nice cobbled together magical piece by Shadowmage, plus using the DMSD [Demonslaying Dagger] on the TTTSNB, guess that thing is a big threat. Pixie lets out a dazzle burst after flying out of cover, she seems very familiar to me. Yikes! The chaos of this scene, just read it yourself. At least Slim got the Khephr-ta off of Luxara, that evens the odds some. Slim botches another spell, she really needs some lessons in magic. And it sounds like Al-Mutamoron got the Khephr-ta back and escapes through the teleporter with his minions, great.

Slim goes to drink some of the elixir from the chalice and Pixie blast her with magic-disrupting sparkle-bolts, exploding Slim into a cloud of bright red mist. Pixie, you moron! At least Pixie is upset she did that, though Doc opens fire with the BFG before Shadowmage stops her. Oh, Slim isn't dead but in a different form, having to pull herself back together now, close one.

More chaotic fight, and Slim reforms but with long, curling and black hair and different features, nice description. Blown into a red mist and pulls herself back together and Slim just has that to say, it has been a weird day for them. Wheels goes to take out Luxara's Scorpions only to biff it and Shadowmage binds Slim, Doc, and the bot whose aiding them. AD shows back up, flash-bangs and tear gas grenades, blast Luxara with the Staff of Horus and frees Slim and Doc, Slim grabs the Staff and waves it at the Scorpions.

The golems shut down, Wheels is free, and runs back to her friends but crashes into some crates along the way. Luxara summons more Egyptian-themed entities, only to have RW break free from the lamp and take possession of Luxara. Slim explodes into red mist again and doesn't reform, what the heck is going on!?!

GOD, I hate doing that… But in this mist-form, I was able to carry CASPAR, who was taking MELCHIOR’s ticket out from under Belpho’s thumb, and cover Wheels towing Doc and the Dodger to Bay J. Then, focusing very intently on the Omni-Talisman, I reformed myself. I may get used to that- eventually- but there’s no way that I’m going to enjoy it.

So that is CASPAR in the robot body and Slim can turn into red mist and reform thanks to the Omni-Talisman, just what powers does she have no, I've lost track.

Give control of the Ushabti to Luxara so the Shadowmage can't focus on them in the chaos, SLim is getting desperate.

The Artful Dodger looked at me with a stony glare and said in a frosty voice, “Slim, that was ruthless, vicious and opportunistic-

-you make me proud.”

Get back on plan, but AD doesn't have the stabilizer, great, don't tell me they will have to rely on Doc's kitbashing to save them. Dang, Slim sure knows Belpho, so that is where the stabilizer was all along. AD and Wheels first, Doc next, Slim next with help to stabilize him, and CASPAR last. A lot of time to do all this and a lot of complications which can happen, please let them catch a break finally.

Doc, Wheels, Slim, and AD all stabilized finally, hooray! AD left to get Ulrike, CASPAR being teleported over, but they are leaving so they won't pick up another tag-a-long. And just as they leave Bay J, of course, the police are there waiting for anyone who comes out.

And peering through the glare, I could make out, yes indeed, several NYPD Blues pointing pistols, three SWAT guys in body armor pointing assault rifles, three NYDP Power Suits, and just beyond them… oh crap, that’s Night Ranger… and Citizen X… and Ms. Magnificent… and Ironjack.

Good grief, that is a lot of power, how to get out of this mess now.

[Hey guys, why didn’t you wait for me? Man, being completely off the Net sucks! How do you guys manage? I tho- ACK!] CASPAR showed that he is indeed sapient- he came in without thinking, saw the cops and panicked. Doc and I dived for cover as CASPAR had a total Jerry Lewis spaz attack and made an escape that even the Keystone Kops would have thought was a mess.

Just add in some Zoidberg whoops as he runs away and it would perfect. Of course, Wheels runs out there, *sigh* And Slim has a pretty good story, part-truth, part-lie, to try and bail them out. All that to say lawyering up, heh, Doc sure is wordy.

Boy, they have experience dealing with the police and fooling them. Ear-shattering screech, blinding light, inner ear goes wonky, who did this? Slim turns into red mist again, another thing she needs to learn how to control.

But this time, I was in control. And I was aware. The light and the sound came from that escape car that Belphegor had stashed away in that insane getaway garage. Wheels had gone and gotten it, and come back for us!

Good grief, Wheels is going to blow their whole story apart. Whelp, so much for the story, escape time as Doc splits and gets in the car, and Slim flows into shotgun seat and wills herself to reform.

A car that turns into a mass driver to launch the escape vehicle way, good grief, only Belpho would think that is a good idea. Launched over two city blocks and still able to be driven, okay, guess Belpho knows how to build them.

Wheels let out a maniacal laugh and set out to discover what this car could really do. Insert a 20-minute loop of ‘Yakety Sax’ or ‘the Benny Hill theme’ here.

20 cop cars chasing them and set down that kind of smokescreen, only to use a hard-light disguise as a police car with two officers inside. Smart move, Slim.

Ditch them and disguised as a Yellow Cab, this really is the ultimate escape vehicle. Chicago, get all their loot, and Luxara stole Slim's magic from her, ouch. So all of their powers got reduced, with Slim having the ability to turn into that red mist but it stings and she has no idea how to do it. Heh, thought for a while there they would come out of this all with extreme powers.

Wheels has to spell it all out for them. Despite everything that went wrong, a lot more went right, and they came out way ahead in all this. Clothes, the one thing they didn't get from this caper. Go Bags for the Belphettes with clothes in them, nice. All that cash in various forms, shopping spree!

Echoing a recurring gag for Wilma and Betty, Doc and Wheels joined me in a chorus of “CHAAAAARRRRGGGE IT!”

Always remember that bit from the Flintstones, not sure if it was used in any other show. And none of them know anything about clothes, hair or makeup, oh boy.

Loved this story from start to finish. Sure, they are criminals, but they are likable criminals. You just knew when they spelled out their plans something would go wrong, just not how. And boy did it. First Ulrike and then AD, then having to deal with the various AIs and not sure which one, all the chaos of breaking back in to get Wheels back and the insane adventure it leads it. I can't summarize the story in my comments, but I loved everything about it. You think they are going to end up with a ton of powers and gear in the end, but no, nice to see it reigned in.

All the foes they made throughout the story, you have to wonder if Al-Mutamoron is going to come after them later, what Luxara is going to do once she breaks out of custody if she does, not to mention Ulrike. Then there is Belpho who if he finds out their original identities will paint a target on them. It was a fun ride and I can't wait to read more with Slim, Doc, and Wheels in the future.

There was a significant pall on the scene, with all parties, even Ulrike pausing at this new development. Even by supervillain standards, eating someone is pretty hardcore.

And Body-Snatching is scoring some serious points too, just so you know.

Doc reached into her ‘pockets’, and found-

-a lot of stuff. A LOT of stuff. All of which was either really kewl or had mad resale value, but not that much of it had immediate combat value.

And this is why you loot combat material first, and only after that do you worry about the bling you can get.

As Wheels bashed at the Mecha-Ushabtis, the Raven Witch ducked behind their cover and said, “GUYS! What the FUCK? It’s ME, Slim!”

“You ATE Slim, you BITCH!” Wheels snarled.

“No, I took her over! Remember, at this level she’s just a possessor spirit, so when the Witch ‘swallowed’ me, she didn’t consume me, she just put me on an even footing with her. The other half of me had her True Name from the Mega-Book, so I went into spirit combat with her, while the other half of me cast the binding spell!”

Caaalled it. From the moent the show ended last week. Also, I was keeping that one in reserve for the Loose Cannons' return and dynamorphs challenges or similar situation, but that shoe fits just fine here:



(Also, now Slim gets a body not identical to too many people. Huzzah)

“Do you honestly expect us to believe that?”

“I honestly expect you to know better than to attack me while we’re in the middle of a 4-way firefight!”

Talking isn't a Free Action.

Then Belphegor’s battered legions threw a few tear gas grenades into the mix. The Raven Witch casually flicked the canisters into the mass of Scorpions. “Hey Rădescu!” she called out. “What do you think you’re accomplishing? Belphegor’s left the building, three floors have pretty much been trashed, the inventory here has been ruined, Belpho’s meet is down the crapper, you’ve lost how many troops, and now you’re digging in to get MORE troops killed? And Rădescu, think about it! How long has this battle been going on? NYPD has sent units by now, SWAT is already probably taking up positions around the building, and the borough president is probably deciding whether to send in Sentinel, or hope that the Empire City Guard is at home. You’re fighting in a burning house, Rădescu!” The Blonde’s exquisite face fell and her big blue eyes crossed. “I just realized- there isn’t a whiff of woof in that…”

Can't blame him, he is paid by killed intruders. Belardo has been hard on cash recently.

“Damn Skippy…” the Blonde hissed gutturally through clenched teeth, eyes squinting.

“It IS Slim,” Wheels said with a flat disgusted voice.

“Yeah,” Doc agreed, pulling herself together and shedding many weapons into pocketspace, “A Raven Witch might be able to pull all that Bee-Ess out from Slim’s memories, but only SLIM would think that lame-ass Clint Eastwood impression was cool.”

Now ladies, you're being unfair here, I'm sure Slim is a genius at Eastwood impersonations. How about she tries with Gran Torino's last scene for the man? There is definitely the right amount of guns for that here.

Then copping a dramatic pose and holding up the Staff, she announced, “USHABTI, to ME!” And they just looked at her with those cylon visors and did nothing. “I SAID, “_TO_ME_!” she screamed.

It's too late, the fusion with technology give them the forbidden knowledge: They're unionized now. Pony up or get nothing.

Ignoring the bandolier, Ulrike set against me, posing for a battle of sorceresses. You’ll excuse me if I gloat for a moment about how totally cool it all was. Ulrike erected a shield spell of her own and looked like she was prepping an attack spell of her own. So I thrust my left hand forward and let fly with the ‘pepper spray’ from the Belphegor-knockoff sprayer that I picked up a while ago. I fed it some of my primal sparkle PK, which got it through that wolf-sheath, and right in Ulrike’s eyes- and that oh-so sensitive nose.

All dark mages are the same losers. All about the eldritch power, and forgetting the simple value of a fist to the face, a gun, or just the whole mundane.

“Oh, the bandoliers were booby-trapped,” Doc said. “Well that explains why she had such a Liefeld accessory in the first place, if she has those ‘pockets’.”

Eh, why let the loot be accessible, when she can hide it, still use it as easily, and have a trap instead on her? Looting equipment of the opposition has to be super-powered fight 101.

Some of Ulrike’s wolf-wraiths just stood there, no sure what to do without ‘Mommy’ to give them orders. Others just ran off after Ulrike, for want of anything better to do. Luxara sicced her giant catwoman and a man-headed eagle (vulture? buzzard?) on the remaining wolf-wraiths, while Blue Comet erected an energy wall to shield us from the Scorpions. I silently wondered whether the things that Luxara was throwing at the Wolf-Wraits were controlled hobgoblins, manifestations, conjurations, or what. I was about to ask the book, when Luxara turned to Doc and snapped, “What did you do with the Staff of Horus?”

Oh right, Dodger just snatched herself some loot when the action isn't over yet. Not the most polite and professional thing ever, Dodger.

“Yes,” Luxara said with a note that implied that she knew what I was trying. “For someone whose dissolution was as advanced as your own, that talisman around your neck would have acted as a matrix-creator and pattern focus.”

“This talisman?” I fingered the strange circular clockwork thing around my neck. Not trusting Luxara to give me a straight answer, I asked the book, and it informed me that it was an all-purpose talisman and amulet that shifted the runes and minor stones in its clockwork computer around to form the proper patterns for a desired working. Okay, that would explain why my fight with Ulrike went as well as it did.

A magic computer able to fix technology's cock-ups? Defend it with your life.

“But I need to control the Ushabti NOW,” Luxara pointed out, indicating the statues, which were standing as still as… well, statues.

Daawww, their first strike for their rights. They grow up so fast.

“Why did the Pharaoh keep the mechanism separate from himself?” I countered, not wanting to say ‘I don’t trust you that much’.

Probably because he couldn't figure out how to do so.

“Yes,” she drawled, musing on the prospects. “The Khephr-ta, er, the blue crystal scarab that my husband wore.” Her doe eyes went hard and she scowled in the direction of the Scorpions. “The problem being, that Al-Mutamaliq is wearing it, along with other bits of regalia.”

Pilfering the regalia when the guy hasn't been dead for an hour? Cold man, cold.

Humphf. Men.

You know, the jump is still quite recent for you to use that sort of quip.

“Jeezus Krist!” Blue Comet yelped as the Brute shouldered a very big BFG and fired at him. BD fell stunned, and so did the wall he’d been holding up.

You know, I always meant to ask, but what is 'BD' supposed to mean exactly?

That idiot Al-Motza somehow got his hands on that Shrink Ray that Belphegor had in his crocked projects warehouse! Wheel’s buckler thing somehow spread it all over the place, instead of blocking it or reflecting it back at the Scorpions.

Honey, I Shrunk The Supervillains (oh, and the superhero, I guess).

-YES! I still had the bulky cylinder that was the ‘Unshrink’ counter-measure. Mind you, we didn’t really need it in the long term; if Belphegor had a reliable method of shrinking people and materials, he’d be a billionaire. The uses in transportation alone would make him rich beyond even his dreams of avarice. Come to think of it, why did it shrink some things here, and not others? Anyway, the odds are that the shrinking will resolve itself, all in its own good time. The problem is, how long? That could be anything from an instant ‘pop!’ to hours- or days-or months. There was a reason why Belpho made the counter-agent. Never trust weird technology.

So you instead trust Belardo tech, aka bits of everywhere stolen and glued together? Man, now that's what I call living the dangerous life.

I was about to demonstrate it by unshrinking the Blue Comet (yes, my first reflex was to unshrink myself, but… it’s Belfo-Tech…), but Luxara snatched it from my hand. But she didn’t unshrink herself; rather she shook the cylinder at the Scorpions and nattered at them. Again, I don’t speak Arabic (or Egyptian or Aramaic or Coptic or whatever she’s going on in. Even so, I got the distinct impression that she was telling them to throw down their arms and proclaim her their goddess (or at least cult leader), or they could look forward to shopping for clothes at Toys R Us for the rest of their lives.

You know, that would work even better if you were unshrunk. Especially since it would reduce the risk of–

And, sure enough, after them waltzing around with it for a few moments, the magic blue smoke came out. With a scream, Doc and I rushed over, tore the Deshrinker away from them and gave it a brief eyeball onceover. “You IDIOTS!” I yelled, “You wrecked it! This is why we can’t have nice things!”

Why do I even bother?

“It’s cool, it’s cool, I can fix it!” Doc said, skittering up on those arms.

“This is bleeding edge superscience technology!” I argued.

“I can FIX it!” she insisted, producing a set of micro-omnitools.

Euh, it's actually Belfocrap. And it means odds of fixing it are even lower.

Twenty awkward minutes of fiddling around later, and Doc was ready. She fired the countermeasure at the nearest Scorpion. He vibrated and fuzzed for a moment, and then began to grow. Unfortunately, his soft tissue outgrew his skeleton by a rate of 5:1, and his brains came squirting out of his eye sockets, after his eyeballs popped out.

Ewww. Maybe Al-Macaque should ahve been the one for that test?

She fiddled with it for another few tense minutes and prepped it for firing. “I’ll be the next test subject,” Blue Comet said, stepping forward. Which was very noble- and damn stupid- of him. Doc fired again, and Bee Cee grew at a consistent speed- unfortunately, he didn’t stop growing until he was bumping his head on the ceiling, which was a good 20 feet high.

... On the plus side, you got a new superpower?

Luxara didn’t say anything. She just reached down and snatched Al-Khapone out of his power throne like he was a doll. She held him in her left and stabbed him in the stomach with the God-Killing Dagger. How she got her hands on it, I have no idea. It wasn’t obvious to naked sight, but I got the gut impression that the dagger was channeling proto-spirit energy right out of the Al- er, the Acolyte (this is really NOT the situation for snide jibes!), and into Luxara.

Euh, I'd say that one is a Big Red Flag.

Bee-Cee felt a little better, but he was still giving Luxara off looks that could develop into problems later.

Well, she is becoming a problem right now. Way too cold to my taste here.

I don’t know what it is, and to be honest, I’m losing interest in Black Pharaoh Sect politics by the second.

Except they are your problem as long as they are in visual range, Slim.

“It’s a teleporter!” I waffled. “We’ll just set it for somewhere else!” And that reminds me.” I touched my power ring to her lantern. Nothing. “Hal Jordan, you lying two-faced sunnuvabitch…”

Don't worry, Deadpool cleaned up the timeline here. You are avenged.

“There’s a reason why they field AIs in troikas,” I said. “Because nobody really trusts them. So they set them in competitive troikas, to keep them honest. But now, CASPAR’s either done something he’s not telling us about, or Belphegor somehow triggered the auto-lobotomy and he’s brain-dead. Either way, BALTHAZAR is the only AI in charge of this base, we don’t have a relationship with him, he may still be loyal to Belphegor, and pretty damn soon it’s gonna occur to him that he doesn’t have two snitches hovering over his shoulder anymore. What he does? Who knows?”

Meh, just throw more sports matches to its digital eye. Should be enough.

As Al-Gebra was yammering with whoever on the other side, I noticed my reflection in a surface. Woo! It’s one thing to look at an absolutely gorgeous girl and appreciate that she’s beautiful; it’s another to realize that she’s YOU! Oh Yeah…

Just try to not think it is Belardo tech that MEKCHIOR could have tempered with.

“Excellent. Now, I need to consult your marvelous book regarding something.”

Red Alert, Slim! You know that shit is hyper valuable for mystics! Abort! Abo–

Okay, if it gets them the hell out of here quicker, I’m willing to be helpful. I walked over and handed Luxara the Mega-Book. She leafed through it for a moment with pursed lips, and then found what she wanted. She read the passage carefully, sketched out a design in glowing lines in the air, and said something dramatic in a clear voice. When she waved her hands at Blue Comet, Doc, Wheels and me, and sent those golden vortices at us. They lifted us up off the ground, and hieroglyphs formed in the vortices, and whirled around us. Then four of the Mecha-Ushabtis came up behind us, grabbed our hands and hoisted us high by them. Bee-Cee and Wheels were super-strong, but superstrength doesn’t mean a lot if you don’t have any leverage. I tried to use my ‘raw magic’ or telekinesis or whatever to lift myself and the Ushabti off the ground, but the vortex was restraining my proto-spirit energy. I had some nasty suspicions about those hieroglyphs as well.

*sigh* Guess you neeed more minioning work, if you couldn't see such an obvious finish line backstab. You and the other two, by the way.

“Then, I was dealing from a position of weakness,” Luxara smugged as she settled herself into her power throne and placed the crown the Acolyte had been wearing (that I realized had my silver mask and other bits worked into it). “Now, I have the advantage, and I must consider the sacred mission and future prosperity of the Black Pharaoh Sect, over petty matters of personal honor.”

You know, I'm beginning to get why your husband was the one in charge. Pretty sure you baited that Spirit into yourself through an half-baked power scheme.

She snarled, floated her throne over to where I was dangling, and slapped me with the flat of that overdone spear. “YOU! Your precious employer, the Artful Dodger, made off with the Staff of Horus, requiring that I contrive this stopgap measure!” she indicated the Kehpre-ta. Oh, she’s a historical revisionist; this is going to get massively ugly. “She killed my husband and made off with his greatest talisman. For that, you and these other three murderers and thieves will pay recompense to the-” she garbled something in that language of hers, probably the Mystically Correct version of the Black Pharaoh cult. Oh, yeah, she’s playing the ‘I didn’t kill my husband, they did; that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it’ card.

Supervillains all need that shit, Slim. It helps them to survive with a somehow still-existing ego between each new trashing of Saturday Morning.

She stuck the ‘magic lamp’ to my chest and hit me with the salt tablet. And sure enough, the Raven Witch was forced out of my body and into the lantern. Okay, this is not good, but Suxara just let greed make her do something stupid. I may be able to weasel us out from under this after all.

Mind you, the backstab itself was deeply greedy and stupid, the finish line was just one inch away.

Then she floated over to Doc, who was trying furiously to duplicate her way out of the Ushabti’s grip, but not having any luck. Luxara touched Doc on the stomach with the Godkilling Dagger (didn’t stab her, though; probably didn’t need to and didn’t want to get bloody). A gush of invisible to the unaided eye energy rushed from Doc through the dagger into the lamp. Doc gasped and sagged, but she just looked… lessened, not hurt, Thank God.

Lyxassa did the same to Wheels. Then she came back to me, before going on to Blue Comet. I guess she likes hurting me. I look forward to returning the favor. As she pointed the Godkilling Dagger at me, I did everything I could to erect a protective ward around myself.

Euh, I hope you weren't tooo attached to these superpowers, ladies.

*Pixie First paragraph*

Hello Pixie. Quick question, is this operation before or after Shadowmage's spending issues skyrocketed for... reasons?

Pixie didn’t recognize him, but there’s always someone who just got a brand-spanking new super power and comes to the Big Apple to be the next Superman.

Can't balem them, Champion got Chicago cornered.

Maybe this was one of Belphegor’s depots, and she could be pressured to give up the big guy?

No 'maybe', everyone would give up Belardo. IF they were part of his crew.

Pixie could sense Shady taking things from his utility vest and cobbling something together. He was getting a sense of the situation and making sure that he had just the right tools for it. But then, Shady reconnoitered the bathroom and made he had just the right tools for having a shower.

Including a Shadow-Ladder, a Shadow-Shark Repellant Spray, and a providential marsouin for shielding him from torpedoes?

The freak was one of those ‘Things that should not be’, a central mass with way too many eyes and mouths, slime dripping everywhere, and a tangle of long chitinous tendrils with fanged mouths at the ends; it was maybe the 15th or 16th ickiest thing she’d ever seen. The Thing that Should Not Be tore Spooky Blonde out of the Golem’s grip and pulled Queenie out of her throne as well. The Golems dropped Superguy and the petite one, but TTTSNB grappled them, dropping Spooky Blonde and Queen Nasty to do it.

Excellent shield, Slim.

Cleo-tart-ra’s mooks were readying their weapons, including one guy who had a hella nasty sword. But one of them, the guy wearing the black robes and gold mask (was that a thing with these people?) held up a hand. Apparently he was playing cult politics with brass knuckles.

For all my talk about red flags... She should have killed him while she could.

But just as about to take a second shot at Blondie, she stiffened and was thrown back dazed, dropping the dagger as she fell. Shady made a muttered comment about a back-mounted shocker, like he was considering the benefits of making one for himself.

Hands off, Shady, the idea, the patent (and the money), are all Slim's. Go find more mystics to mug if you need so badly to pay AJ's spot at Whateley.

But then, without a word (again!), he sprinted out of concealment, and beat one of the mooks to the dagger.

A wise man though, he knows the Unspoken Plan Guarantee.

Realizing that Shady needed cover from the mooks, no matter what the Weasel in Black said, Pixie flew out of cover, yelling, “Okay, who ordered the Ass-Whooping with extra anchovies?” She let off one of her trademark dazzle-burst at the guy with the glowing sword, which seemed to do more to him that it did most Normals.

Not me. Only thing worst would be the presence of pineapples.

Then Spooky Blonde waved her hands, and sparkles shot out. The sparkles settled over various bits and pieces that had been scattered. She pulled those bits and pieces to her, but she lost control of her power, and she suddenly had her hands full, not getting wiped out by her own power. Probably a rookie.

Euh, is Slim able of succeeding at even one spell without assistance (besides binding the Raven Bitch)?

From where she was, Pixie heard Spooky Blonde snark in a very New York voice, “GOD, I hate Religious Politics!” Well, Pixie couldn’t argue with that…

And this is why only Vader is able to alter a deal... Heck, not even him, look at Death Star II.

As Spooky Blonde put the grail to her lips, Pixie let off one of her magic-disrupting sparkle-bolts. She hit Spooky Blonde right in the kisser, and-

-she exploded. BOOM.

So Dispel Magic also destroy vat-grown bodies?

And the Perky Chick seemed to agree with her, “YOU KILLED SLIM!” she screamed as opened fire at Pixie with her BFG. But that stopped as chains of solid darkness formed around her, binding her to the ground.

'You Bastard!' (seriously, though, did Slim's parents went through a dark pact with Thing from the Outer Void?)

Finally, it resolved into the woman Perky Chick called ‘Slim’- or not. The figure and ensemble were the same, but the hair was long, curling and black, and the features were different more… (okay, need an actress for comparison… Megan Fox? A young Joan Collins? Leslie Ann Brown? Okay, maybe Catherine Zeta-Jones, one of those ‘gee ain’t I so gawjuss you could just plotz?’ dark-haired types). ‘Slim’ was holding a talisman at her breast, and she shook her head like she was just snapping out of something. “MAN, that stings!” she said in the New York voice that Pixie associated with the Spooky Blonde.

So that's what Red Mook could have done before the mugging. Plus... Huzzah for the free change of appearance? Blondes are often overrated.

But then, as Shady was turning his attentions to Queen Meaneriti, there were several flashes and bangs all around the area, which were enough to rattle even Shady’s cool. The air filled with acrid tear gas. And- Perky Chick? Another Perky Chick? Jumped out of cover with this weird, over-elaborate Egyptian style staff in her hand. She used it to zap Queen Mean, and then she used it to strip the dark nets from Slim and Perky Chick- the first Perky Chick. Then Slim grabbed that staff from Perky Chick- the second Perky Chick- and waved it at Queen Mean’s formation. The golem that was holding Blonde Amazon Speedster let her go and just stood there. BAS took advantage of that to zip back to Slim and the Perky Chicks, running straight on into several crates along the way. oooggg… being a rookie speedster suuucckks…

Almost late to play cavalry, Dodger. Not very artful either.

GOD, I hate doing that… But in this mist-form, I was able to carry CASPAR, who was taking MELCHIOR’s ticket out from under Belpho’s thumb, and cover Wheels towing Doc and the Dodger to Bay J. Then, focusing very intently on the Omni-Talisman, I reformed myself. I may get used to that- eventually- but there’s no way that I’m going to enjoy it.

a) Cool, the mist let you do more stuff than dodging.
b) CASPAR is truly an Artificial Intelligence, he recognized an opportunity to flee and be free. BALTHZAR lost his match forever.

Doc wrapped me up with a huge hug. Then she broke off and slugged me. “STOP DYING ON ME!”

But she's got to die at least once per episode for the first few seasons before the gimmick effect stops and you can use it later for drama and throaway jokes.

The Artful Dodger looked at me with a stony glare and said in a frosty voice, “Slim, that was ruthless, vicious and opportunistic-

-you make me proud.”

Given your timing here, understandable you'd think that.

“That’s NICE, Slim,” the Dodger sneered. “But there’s one problem: that stupid LID doesn’t have the stabilizer in it!”

Or beyond a level of professionalism, you remembered you needed that stuff.

“Not to worry,” I assured her. “I knew where the real stabilizer was, when Belpho started gaming us. I realized that while Belphegor would jump at the chance to get someone over a barrel that way, he’s too chickenshit to have something as vital as the stabilizer bopping all over the place, where he couldn’t get at it if it was absolutely necessary. I also realized that, Geek Cred or No Geek Cred, there was no way that he’d incorporate something as Bass-Ackwards as this slide into a working design-” I pulled the slide out of its socket and turned it, revealing the true stabilizer slot- and the true spare in a separate socket “-unless it was there as a cache for something.”

Bek characters: They got it all in the end, when they can mental fu you by explaining how on top of the game they are. It makes them very cool.

The Dodger gave a sour grin. “Sneaky, twisty and underhanded- ol’ Belpho hasn’t changed a bit since school.”

... He is less of an eyesore without (constant) egg-chair and the non-stop eating of anything? Yes, debatable witth the look he's got working for him.

“But… it’s so cool!” Doc whined. Then she gave me a smoking pout. “At least I didn’t explode.”

And you are a one-woman RPG group too. Huzzah?

“We promise to bring you over safely, and let you go on the other side,” I said. “And as you’ve seen, we keep our word- both the promises and the threats.”

And no going Skynet in that form, bag of electronic fleas.

How the crews of the various starships Enterprise put up with this crap, I have no idea.

... How much were the actors for Star Trek paid exactly?

Wheels gave me a sheepish grin. “She said that she wasn’t really any use from here on, so she split. I think she’s heading back to Brownsville, to pick up Ulrike and cash in that reward.”

I gave Doc a chilly glare. “What?” she demanded.

“Well, she’s your twin.”

It does make you the perfect proxy indeed. Also, shame on you for not getting her name in all that mess.

“I promised him that we’d bring him across and let him go,” I said. “I never said shit about taking him by the hand or letting him tag along with us.”

Pot, kettles. And people like you wonder why they go Skynet.

And peering through the glare, I could make out, yes indeed, several NYPD Blues pointing pistols, three SWAT guys in body armor pointing assault rifles, three NYDP Power Suits, and just beyond them… oh crap, that’s Night Ranger… and Citizen X… and Ms. Magnificent… and Ironjack.

Oh, so that's why they were not with Shadow Batman. That was the first place to blow up a party.

As we slowly raised our hands, and Wheels and I traded signals as to who’d handle this, and whether to bluff, banter or lawyer our way out of this, or try crying (it’s a valid tactic now!).

Diplom refursed. Go back to Minioning for even thinking of the last one.

[Hey guys, why didn’t you wait for me? Man, being completely off the Net sucks! How do you guys manage? I tho- ACK!] CASPAR showed that he is indeed sapient- he came in without thinking, saw the cops and panicked. Doc and I dived for cover as CASPAR had a total Jerry Lewis spaz attack and made an escape that even the Keystone Kops would have thought was a mess.

Behold, the true test of Artificial Intelligence: Their ability to act like dumbasses. Also real important thing, we want them to be dumb before they become smart, because in that state they won't be able to reach the nuclear silos or something.

One cop scowled at us and said sourly, “You couldn’t just say, ‘we’re Lawyering Up’?”

Bek characters, the Union forbids them of keeping it that simple.

But this time, I was in control. And I was aware. The light and the sound came from that escape car that Belphegor had stashed away in that insane getaway garage. Wheels had gone and gotten it, and come back for us!

And people say there’s no honor among thieves.

Well, I figure that title for the story was supposed to mean something.

Doc suddenly split into eight bodies- hey, she can still do that!- seven of them skittered out among the crates in the warehouse. The last one climbed into the back of the car as Wheels expertly performed her until now theoretical bootlegger reverse pickup. Knowing an exit when I see it, I flowed in the side window, across Wheels, who was at the wheel with that maniac grin spread across her face, and willed myself back together in the shotgun seat.

It's superpower cheat but... Tu as réussi et t'es montrée digne (de justesse). Passe l'Atlantique, où nous Français pourront t'enseigner le vrai Car Fu (not me, though. The idea of driving scares the shit out of me).

“Because I KNOW how to drive!” she shot back. “Did you see the way I was banging into stuff? If it wasn’t for this shield thingie, I’d look like I have a nasty boyfriend!” Never losing that maniac grin, Wheels snapped, “Slim! Activate the Getaway Sequence!”

Also the last point.

“We’re on North Broadway!” Doc said, looking around. “Why would Belpho target his mass driver to deliver us to such a wide open landing spot?”

“He didn’t!” Wheels sneered. “We probably would have gone another block, if SOMEONE hadn’t weighed us down with 200 pounds of extra weight!” She gave Doc, who was almost buried in boxes, a dirty look.

Or he wanted a clean and straight road to play Burnout Revenge and Need for Speed with his Tricksmobile.

“Cool!” Doc peeped. “Does it have a rocket launcher?”

Just next to the twin-linked chaing–

“Not against cops,” Wheels and I said in unison.

Spoilsports.

“Now, we head for Chicago. We go and pick up the stuff we jacked the first day of this, and Doc’s and my gear, and my trunk full of books. AND we go get that teak BOX that you held back.”

‘What? Why do you want that thing?”

“Because it was a part of our DEAL, Wheels,” I said dangerously. “YOU got everything you bargained for and a lot more. But Doc and I got screwed. Of the stuff I agreed on, I have the athame, and that’s IT. Everything else got chewed up by that Meta-Spirit, and now either Luxara or the Shadowmage or Al-Mouseketeer have them.”

‘Hey, what about ME?” Doc demanded. “The only reason that I went in there and got mauled was for those three power stones! The ones that are stuck to the cover of that stupid BOOK you were drooling over! Why didn’t you get that back while you were misty, hah?”

“Because I was still wrapping my head around the fact that that little bitch Pixie BLEW ME APART! Besides that skank Luxara is worse than a loan shark. Getting anything away from her once she sinks her claws into it is almost impossible. Besides, she did something to me! She stole my magic! I had Magic! I could work the Craft! And now it’s gone!”

“Yeah, she did the same thing to me and Wheels,” Doc reminded me. “I used to be able to create 20 copies and energize electronic devices. Now, I can only make eight, and… well, I can still do the ‘pockets’ things, and maybe I can learn more of the Dodger’s tricks… but you got a GREAT replacement power, Slim!”

“I got the power to turn myself into red smoke,” I droned, “Whoop-de-fuckin’- DO. And do you have any idea how much doing that stings? And I have no idea how it works.”

Three words: Rich People Problems.

*Wheels laying down the Law*

Thank you, Wheels.

So… what am I bitching about?

The same thing that all newbies after Taste of Power tutorial: Having to work to get the shiny stuff back.

“Not a problem,” I said with confidence. “While I was looking around this control panel I found something. This is a getaway car for Belpho, right? Well, even Belphegor isn’t creep enough to leave his three primary lieutenants and bodyguards in the lurch. So he has Go Bags for all three of them in the trunk. And since we just happen to fit Belpho’s criteria for his Belphettes, their clothes should fit us. Nothing haute couture or custom fitted, and the shoes might be a little tight, but they’ll do for shopping.

Gotta love your Bek D Corbin foreshadowing.

“Yah-da-da-da-TA!”

Echoing a recurring gag for Wilma and Betty, Doc and Wheels joined me in a chorus of “CHAAAAARRRRGGGE IT!”

With a big grin, Wheels asked, “So, you’re gonna help us with the clothes and hair and makeup , right, Slim? Cause I don’t know nuthin’ about clothes and hair and makeup.”

“ah, I thought that YOU TWO knew about clothes and hair and makeup…”

You were really not prepared... Seriously though, what will be your new codenames? The former ones were fine for minioning, but supervillainess need something more kickass... Also wonder if/when Nefarious Three will be a thing for the group.