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Question Rain on a Sunny Day

5 years 2 months ago #1 by ebony841
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  • Today instalment that is by the well known author of Retcon fame. Rain on a sunny day. Comments are welcome
    5 years 2 months ago #2 by mhalpern
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  • Clara is looking like a successful matchmaker...

    Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.
    5 years 2 months ago - 5 years 2 months ago #3 by Malady
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  • Wow. I didn't know how much I'd hate Riley's stupidly high levels of mistrust.

    She's leaning sooo far into it she can't see anything good, that it makes me feel like she's a conspiratorial idiot.

    All I'm waiting for is her psych eval so we can see her get taken down a notch or something.

    ...

    Shipping her with Cody, and hoping that'll mellow her out.

    I'm thinking YouNeedToGetLaid applies soo much, maybe.
    Last Edit: 5 years 2 months ago by Malady.
    5 years 2 months ago #4 by mhalpern
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  • Malady wrote: Wow. I didn't know how much I'd hate Riley's stupidly high levels of mistrust.

    She's leaning sooo far info it she can't see anything good, that it makes me feel like she's a conspiratorial idiot.

    All I'm waiting for is her psych eval so we can see her get taken down a notch or something.

    ...

    Shipping her with Cody, and hoping that'll mellow her out.

    I'm thinking YouNeedToGetLaid applies soo much, maybe.


    I dont blame her paranoia, but I am shipping her with Jenny

    Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.
    5 years 2 months ago #5 by Dreamer
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  • SPOILER ALERT
    Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.

    Rain on a Sunny Day Part 1 comments
    Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]

    Thank You for story comments appreciated and help me know me they are being read and liked. :-) Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
    5 years 2 months ago - 5 years 2 months ago #6 by Enemyoffun
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  • This is just the first part of her story. Riley is in a rough place, emotionally speaking.

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    Last Edit: 5 years 2 months ago by Enemyoffun.
    5 years 2 months ago - 5 years 2 months ago #7 by Enemyoffun
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  • Malady wrote: Wow. I didn't know how much I'd hate Riley's stupidly high levels of mistrust.

    She's leaning sooo far info it she can't see anything good, that it makes me feel like she's a conspiratorial idiot.

    All I'm waiting for is her psych eval so we can see her get taken down a notch or something.

    ...

    Shipping her with Cody, and hoping that'll mellow her out.

    I'm thinking YouNeedToGetLaid applies soo much, maybe.


    You don't like Riley :(.

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    Last Edit: 5 years 2 months ago by Enemyoffun.
    5 years 2 months ago #8 by Malady
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  • I dislike her constant mistrust.

    Other than that, she seems to have a good fashion sense, be smart, and have a good sense of the world, among other things.

    She isn't taking the fact that she apparently requires guarding against mysterious entities as sufficiently worrying, I feel.

    I also think I'd like her combat prowess, if I remember enough about it.
    5 years 2 months ago #9 by Mister D
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  • Malady wrote: I dislike her constant mistrust.

    Other than that, she seems to have a good fashion sense, be smart, and have a good sense of the world, among other things.

    She isn't taking the fact that she apparently requires guarding against mysterious entities as sufficiently worrying, I feel.

    I also think I'd like her combat prowess, if I remember enough about it.


    That's one of the issues that she'll have to talk about with Dr. Bellows.

    When you are deep inside a psychological frame of reference, then that is what is real.

    It may just be your personal flavour of reality, or, it may be that you have noticed something that other people haven't seen yet.

    Riley definiiely needs some form of external "Reality Check", which in this instance was provided by Miao.

    There's also hints of depression there, written from the inside looking out.

    Nice work. :D

    Looking forward to the next episode. :D


    Measure Twice
    5 years 2 months ago #10 by Enemyoffun
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  • mhalpern wrote:

    Malady wrote: Wow. I didn't know how much I'd hate Riley's stupidly high levels of mistrust.

    She's leaning sooo far info it she can't see anything good, that it makes me feel like she's a conspiratorial idiot.

    All I'm waiting for is her psych eval so we can see her get taken down a notch or something.

    ...

    Shipping her with Cody, and hoping that'll mellow her out.

    I'm thinking YouNeedToGetLaid applies soo much, maybe.


    I dont blame her paranoia, but I am shipping her with Jenny


    I think its a bit too early for that lol.

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    5 years 2 months ago #11 by mhalpern
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  • Enemyoffun wrote:

    mhalpern wrote:

    Malady wrote: Wow. I didn't know how much I'd hate Riley's stupidly high levels of mistrust.

    She's leaning sooo far info it she can't see anything good, that it makes me feel like she's a conspiratorial idiot.

    All I'm waiting for is her psych eval so we can see her get taken down a notch or something.

    ...

    Shipping her with Cody, and hoping that'll mellow her out.

    I'm thinking YouNeedToGetLaid applies soo much, maybe.


    I dont blame her paranoia, but I am shipping her with Jenny


    I think its a bit too early for that lol.


    Its never too early for shipping provided the characters are old enough to be thinking about relationships, take the RWBY FNDM for instance not only do ships start as soon as a character is introduced, but BMBLB started with the RED trailer...

    Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.
    5 years 2 months ago #12 by elrodw
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  • Okay, time to put in a comment here.

    I'm NOT happy that your comments about Riley are worded the way they are. I know people don't like some characters, but I also know that I'm not about to let comments like that run off an author. We dealt with too much of that crap with Gen1 authors. It's not going to happen again. There are ways to indicate your issues with a story without sounding hateful. As mothers used to say, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything". Think about applying that here.

    On another issue, how many of you commenting about Riley have read "Business as Usual", where Riley was introduced in that bad situation that goes a long way to explain her paranoia? If you haven't, you should.

    Again, I am NOT going to stand for comments or anything that discourage our authors.

    Never give up, Never surrender! Captain Peter Quincy Taggert
    5 years 2 months ago - 5 years 2 months ago #13 by Malady
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  • Last Edit: 5 years 2 months ago by Malady.
    5 years 2 months ago #14 by Enemyoffun
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  • mhalpern wrote:

    Enemyoffun wrote:

    mhalpern wrote:

    Malady wrote: Wow. I didn't know how much I'd hate Riley's stupidly high levels of mistrust.

    She's leaning sooo far info it she can't see anything good, that it makes me feel like she's a conspiratorial idiot.

    All I'm waiting for is her psych eval so we can see her get taken down a notch or something.

    ...

    Shipping her with Cody, and hoping that'll mellow her out.

    I'm thinking YouNeedToGetLaid applies soo much, maybe.


    I dont blame her paranoia, but I am shipping her with Jenny


    I think its a bit too early for that lol.


    Its never too early for shipping provided the characters are old enough to be thinking about relationships, take the RWBY FNDM for instance not only do ships start as soon as a character is introduced, but BMBLB started with the RED trailer...


    Riley is about 15. Jenny looks older but she's the same age. I'm assuming Cody is about that age too. I think that's too young for teenagers to get laid in my opinion.

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    5 years 2 months ago #15 by Malady
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  • Enemyoffun wrote: Riley is about 15. Jenny looks older but she's the same age. I'm assuming Cody is about that age too. I think that's too young for teenagers to get laid in my opinion.


    Huh. Well, I'm surprised. *shrugs*

    Hmm... *Wonders whose the youngest couple we have in canon...*
    5 years 2 months ago #16 by Enemyoffun
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  • Malady wrote:

    Enemyoffun wrote: Riley is about 15. Jenny looks older but she's the same age. I'm assuming Cody is about that age too. I think that's too young for teenagers to get laid in my opinion.


    Huh. Well, I'm surprised. *shrugs*

    Hmm... *Wonders whose the youngest couple we have in canon...*


    Well to be fair, Cody was added for one reason and one reason only :)

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    5 years 2 months ago #17 by Malady
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  • Enemyoffun wrote:

    Malady wrote:

    Enemyoffun wrote: Riley is about 15. Jenny looks older but she's the same age. I'm assuming Cody is about that age too. I think that's too young for teenagers to get laid in my opinion.


    Huh. Well, I'm surprised. *shrugs*

    Hmm... *Wonders whose the youngest couple we have in canon...*


    Well to be fair, Cody was added for one reason and one reason only :)


    :cheer:

    Well, they don't have to get in bed together. A plain romance is nice too.
    5 years 2 months ago #18 by mhalpern
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  • Enemyoffun wrote:

    mhalpern wrote:

    Enemyoffun wrote:

    mhalpern wrote:

    Malady wrote: Wow. I didn't know how much I'd hate Riley's stupidly high levels of mistrust.

    She's leaning sooo far info it she can't see anything good, that it makes me feel like she's a conspiratorial idiot.

    All I'm waiting for is her psych eval so we can see her get taken down a notch or something.

    ...

    Shipping her with Cody, and hoping that'll mellow her out.

    I'm thinking YouNeedToGetLaid applies soo much, maybe.


    I dont blame her paranoia, but I am shipping her with Jenny


    I think its a bit too early for that lol.


    Its never too early for shipping provided the characters are old enough to be thinking about relationships, take the RWBY FNDM for instance not only do ships start as soon as a character is introduced, but BMBLB started with the RED trailer...


    Riley is about 15. Jenny looks older but she's the same age. I'm assuming Cody is about that age too. I think that's too young for teenagers to get laid in my opinion.


    They are going to a school where a significant portion of the population has much higher than average (for teenagers) hormone production...

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    5 years 2 months ago - 5 years 2 months ago #19 by ShadowedSin
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  • So as someone who ships her own characters hardcore I can say that there is a definite reason why some of the authors may not do so. First, these kids are underage - that's squick territory right there. So I can easily see where EOF is coming from.

    The reaction to the character is understandable, Rikey is a complicated angsty teen. A lot of Grainne's writing is focused on her -rage- and how she's trying to deal with it. It's no difference than Ayla's detached indifference. Maybe one thing we should remember is that when we are using hard emphatic words "like bitch" it's not what we mean. Riley to me comes off a bit bratty and likely dealing with her own shit. She's likely going to make stupid decisions cuz 'tool tip' kids don't understand the full consequence of their decisions.

    Just some food for thought.

    "I can only conclude that I'm paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate."
    -Commander Susan Ivanova, Earth Force, Babylon 5
    Last Edit: 5 years 2 months ago by ShadowedSin.
    5 years 2 months ago #20 by Enemyoffun
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  • ShadowedSin wrote: So as someone who ships her own characters hardcore I can say that there is a definite reason why some of the authors may not do so. First, these kids are underage - that's squick territory right there. So I can easily see where EOF is coming from.

    The reaction to the character is understandable, Riley is a complicated angsty teen. A lot of Grainne's writing is focused on her -rage- and how she's trying to deal with it. It's no difference than Ayla's detached indifference. Maybe one thing we should remember is that when we are using hard emphatic words "like bitch" it's not what we mean. Riley to me comes off a bit bratty and likely dealing with her own shit. She's likely going to make stupid decisions cuz 'tool tip' kids don't understand the full consequence of their decisions.

    Just some food for thought.


    The angst in Riley was all I was trying to convey. I guess I didn't really do a good enough job on it. She's a girl who feels her mother abandoned her for her prettier sister. She's a typical angry teenager. I find that I got the anger across well enough but apparently I made her a little unlikable in the process :(.

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    5 years 2 months ago #21 by Astrodragon
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  • Its only been one story, giver her a while to become a more settled character.

    I love watching their innocent little faces smiling happily as they trip gaily down the garden path, before finding the pit with the rusty spikes.
    5 years 2 months ago #22 by null0trooper
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  • Enemyoffun wrote: The angst in Riley was all I was trying to convey. I guess I didn't really do a good enough job on it. She's a girl who feels her mother abandoned her for her prettier sister. She's a typical angry teenager. I find that I got the anger across well enough but apparently I made her a little unlikable in the process :(.


    Typical? Not so much for the crowd I was with when I was 15. However, long-standing resentment is rarely likable, and since she's 15, not 51, she shouldn't know how to handle it.

    If there are people disappointed that they can't comfortably project themselves into Riley's place, EOF and Riley are doing their job well. No one should be obligated to be be a carbon copy of the reader.

    Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.

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    5 years 2 months ago #23 by joreymay
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  • Astrodragon wrote: Its only been one story, giver her a while to become a more settled character.


    This is her second story, fwiw.
    5 years 2 months ago #24 by joreymay
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  • null0trooper wrote:

    Enemyoffun wrote: The angst in Riley was all I was trying to convey. I guess I didn't really do a good enough job on it. She's a girl who feels her mother abandoned her for her prettier sister. She's a typical angry teenager. I find that I got the anger across well enough but apparently I made her a little unlikable in the process :(.


    Typical? Not so much for the crowd I was with when I was 15.


    Then you were lucky. Or simply unaware. Such angry teenagers were not uncommon in the 50s/60s when I was in that age range, nor were they uncommon around the First Gen time frame, when my nieces and nephews went through that age range.
    5 years 2 months ago #25 by Astrodragon
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  • joreymay wrote:

    Astrodragon wrote: Its only been one story, giver her a while to become a more settled character.


    This is her second story, fwiw.


    First story, 2nd part

    I love watching their innocent little faces smiling happily as they trip gaily down the garden path, before finding the pit with the rusty spikes.
    5 years 2 months ago #26 by Enemyoffun
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  • Astrodragon wrote:

    joreymay wrote:

    Astrodragon wrote: Its only been one story, giver her a while to become a more settled character.


    This is her second story, fwiw.


    First story, 2nd part


    Technically, its her second story but first one as the POV.

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    5 years 1 month ago #27 by Wavehead
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  • I can confirm that I have known more than one person behave just like Riley and my honest opinion is that the Author is doing a very fine job of showing just how mixed up, irrational and just down right stupid they can be. Life experiences can make or break young people much more often than those, who have never experienced the level of trauma Riley has had, ever realise !
    5 years 1 month ago #28 by Enemyoffun
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  • Wavehead wrote: I can confirm that I have known more than one person behave just like Riley and my honest opinion is that the Author is doing a very fine job of showing just how mixed up, irrational and just down right stupid they can be. Life experiences can make or break young people much more often than those, who have never experienced the level of trauma Riley has had, ever realise !


    I know I've had quite a few life experiences that have helped shame and mold me to who I am today. Most of them NOT very good ones I'm sad to say.

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    5 years 1 month ago #29 by Malady
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  • I guess I should also say, that I get how Riley's hate on Summer has blinded her to looking at things from a different angle...

    And her clear intelligence to be able to do it, but just unapplied, is really sad...

    So, yeah... Really waiting for the psychotherapy for things to get better.

    I don't think I said that before?

    ... And now I'm wondering what the inside of Summer's head is like...
    5 years 1 month ago #30 by Enemyoffun
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  • I didn't think I needed to explain this anymore but I guess I don't have any choice.

    Riley is an unreliable narrator. She's telling a story based on her own thoughts and beliefs. Its not paranoia, its the angry ravings a teenage girl who feels like her family has pushed her aside in favor of her much prettier older sister. The whole story is clearly not being told here because we're only getting it from Riley's point of view and honestly, we're NEVER going to get it from anyone else in her family. Riley's words are the window into her world. She might appear as a character in other stories written by me but her family will never be the main characters in their own story. That's not to say that they won't appear, they're definitely going to appear...especially Summer.

    So take anything she has to say about her family with a half truth. There's more to the story then she knows...

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    5 years 1 month ago #31 by Esar
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  • For what it's worth, I have no problem with Riley as you have portrayed her so far and I look forward to reading more about her and the direction you want to take her in.

    Have a good day and thank you for your efforts.
    5 years 1 month ago #32 by Bladedancer
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  • As someone who had similar things said about her own character, do you all remember what its like being a teen? You don't really know enough to be making the decisions you are making, your hormones are tossing you about, you have little impulse control, feelings are at 4000%, life is just too much most of the time. And that is for someone not dealing with a trauma. Add in trauma, and things get worse. The character is reacting rather accurately for a person having a trauma response. Remember not every character is Little Mary Sunshine. Take the character as they are and try to see where they are coming from instead of imposing your own PoV onto them.

    And I swear by my pretty floral bonnet that I will end you. - Captain Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly
    5 years 1 month ago #33 by Mister D
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  • Enemyoffun wrote: I didn't think I needed to explain this anymore but I guess I don't have any choice.

    Riley is an unreliable narrator. She's telling a story based on her own thoughts and beliefs. Its not paranoia, its the angry ravings a teenage girl who feels like her family has pushed her aside in favor of her much prettier older sister. The whole story is clearly not being told here because we're only getting it from Riley's point of view and honestly, we're NEVER going to get it from anyone else in her family. Riley's words are the window into her world. She might appear as a character in other stories written by me but her family will never be the main characters in their own story. That's not to say that they won't appear, they're definitely going to appear...especially Summer.

    So take anything she has to say about her family with a half truth. There's more to the story then she knows...


    To repeat my comments from the other thread,

    This sort of early reaction is always going to be a problem, when you are sharing stories in an episodic manner.

    The smallest incidents in the early episodes will be blown out of proportion in comparison to the later episodes.

    Add in the Unreliable Narrator trope for the reasons of Incomplete Information on the part of the character, due to their limited viewpoint, and, the Incomplete Information on the part of the readers, due to them not knowing the full story, and this sort of dance appears.

    It's called the communication breakdown. :P

    Normally i try not to comment upon Work-In-Progress, but I'm looking forward to the next part of the tale. :D


    The full story is not published yet, so any comments are just speculation.

    Patience makes the arrival sweeter. :D


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    5 years 1 month ago - 5 years 1 month ago #34 by Malady
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  • Thanks, for the response, EnemyOfFun! Cool to keep a sense of mystery about, and have a touch of umm... "reality"? That you're never gonna get the full story, etc!

    Now, I'm wondering if we'll ever see a family friend or someone else close to both parties, to corroborate, Riley's POV...

    Or if we'll always be wondering about the presence of possible in accuracies in Riley's retelling of events due to relying on her and only her.

    But, given how much Riley doesn't even like her family's friends, the Good Neighbors... And ugh, that name gives me Fair Folk vibes so bad.

    Anyways, don't think we'll be hearing anything from the GNs... So, the only sympathetic POV might be a family villain, that intimately knows you like the best arch-enemies, or something.

    As compared to an empathetic POV of a friend who cares about you, but doesn't really "know".
    Last Edit: 5 years 1 month ago by Malady.
    5 years 1 month ago #35 by Enemyoffun
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  • I called the Buffalo based superhero group, The Good Neighbors because Buffalo is actually referred to as the "City of Good Neighbors", I thought it only fitting. It does sound a bit creepy now that I read it out loud though LOL. I'm too committed to it to change it now though lol. As for if any of them will appear, well technically Riley's cousin Abbie from Business as one. The Neighbors were actually founded by Riley's father and uncle. I think I'll make it canon that they didn't have a choice in the name lol. We might see a few of them pop up here and there in Riley's story but they might have larger roles in other stories I write.

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    5 years 1 month ago #36 by Wavehead
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  • I’m looking forward to the next chapter B)
    4 years 9 months ago #37 by Yolandria
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  • Pt 2 Now up for your viewing pleasure!

    Mistress of the shelter for lost and redeemable Woobies!
    4 years 9 months ago #38 by Wavehead
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  • I’ve been looking forward to part two for some time, greatly enjoyed this second part :)
    I had a feeling Samantha was going to be at Whateley but did not expect Riley to encounter her just yet so that has created quite a cliff hanger for me lol
    Firefly and Jenny are both intriguing characters, I’m hoping we will get to see more of Firefly in future chapters as well as Jenny.
    Hoping the next part is soon 8P
    4 years 9 months ago #39 by Enemyoffun
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  • Wavehead wrote: I’ve been looking forward to part two for some time, greatly enjoyed this second part :)
    I had a feeling Samantha was going to be at Whateley but did not expect Riley to encounter her just yet so that has created quite a cliff hanger for me lol
    Firefly and Jenny are both intriguing characters, I’m hoping we will get to see more of Firefly in future chapters as well as Jenny.
    Hoping the next part is soon 8P


    Firefly is actually not my character. She's Elrodw's character. She's appeared in other stories, it a small role :)

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    4 years 9 months ago #40 by Dreamer
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  • SPOILER ALERT
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    Rain on a Sunny Day Part 2 comments
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    4 years 9 months ago #41 by mhalpern
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  • A lot of issues need to be addressed

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    4 years 9 months ago #42 by Enemyoffun
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  • mhalpern wrote: A lot of issues need to be addressed


    I'm not sure what that means? Grammar issues? Story issues? Riley's issues?

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    4 years 9 months ago #43 by Mister D
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  • I'm guessing Riley's issues, which will make for some interesting scenes with her counsellors. but also her family's issues with control, that come from running the superhero-ing as a business.

    Just because someone is a little crazy does not mean that they are wrong. :D


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    4 years 9 months ago #44 by Enemyoffun
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  • Mister D wrote: I'm guessing Riley's issues, which will make for some interesting scenes with her counsellors. but also her family's issues with control, that come from running the superhero-ing as a business.

    Just because someone is a little crazy does not mean that they are wrong. :D


    Eventually I will explore her family issues more. Especially the dynamic between her and her sister. Yes, she defiintely NEEDS a counselor too :D.

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    4 years 9 months ago #45 by mhalpern
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  • Enemyoffun wrote:

    mhalpern wrote: A lot of issues need to be addressed


    I'm not sure what that means? Grammar issues? Story issues? Riley's issues?


    Riley's issues, sorry

    Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.
    4 years 9 months ago #46 by Enemyoffun
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  • mhalpern wrote:

    Enemyoffun wrote:

    mhalpern wrote: A lot of issues need to be addressed


    I'm not sure what that means? Grammar issues? Story issues? Riley's issues?


    Riley's issues, sorry


    Yes, she has PLENTY of those to work out :D.

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    4 years 9 months ago #47 by SDom111
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  • Riley isnt the first teen to have these issues. But when you throw in all of the family issues that she with her Mom and sister with what turns out to be the true enemy of the one family member she gets along with that is a potential ticking mess. I look forward to seeing where you take not only Riley in this story but also how you bring in her family especially her mom. Riley is by no means innocent here but neither are her paretns, especially her mom. I wonder which so call Therapist you are going to assign to her. I hope the next chapter isnt too far off.

    SDom
    4 years 9 months ago #48 by Enemyoffun
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  • SDom111 wrote: Riley isnt the first teen to have these issues. But when you throw in all of the family issues that she with her Mom and sister with what turns out to be the true enemy of the one family member she gets along with that is a potential ticking mess. I look forward to seeing where you take not only Riley in this story but also how you bring in her family especially her mom. Riley is by no means innocent here but neither are her paretns, especially her mom. I wonder which so call Therapist you are going to assign to her. I hope the next chapter isnt too far off.

    SDom


    Technically Riley's Mom has appeared in a story, so has Riley and Summer :D. Just not this generation. As for the rest of her family, you might see them more in a bit.

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    4 years 9 months ago #49 by mhalpern
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  • Enemyoffun wrote:

    SDom111 wrote: Riley isnt the first teen to have these issues. But when you throw in all of the family issues that she with her Mom and sister with what turns out to be the true enemy of the one family member she gets along with that is a potential ticking mess. I look forward to seeing where you take not only Riley in this story but also how you bring in her family especially her mom. Riley is by no means innocent here but neither are her paretns, especially her mom. I wonder which so call Therapist you are going to assign to her. I hope the next chapter isnt too far off.

    SDom


    Technically Riley's Mom has appeared in a story, so has Riley and Summer :D. Just not this generation. As for the rest of her family, you might see them more in a bit.


    Hint to direct our search?

    Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.
    4 years 9 months ago #50 by Enemyoffun
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  • mhalpern wrote:

    Enemyoffun wrote:

    SDom111 wrote: Riley isnt the first teen to have these issues. But when you throw in all of the family issues that she with her Mom and sister with what turns out to be the true enemy of the one family member she gets along with that is a potential ticking mess. I look forward to seeing where you take not only Riley in this story but also how you bring in her family especially her mom. Riley is by no means innocent here but neither are her paretns, especially her mom. I wonder which so call Therapist you are going to assign to her. I hope the next chapter isnt too far off.

    SDom


    Technically Riley's Mom has appeared in a story, so has Riley and Summer :D. Just not this generation. As for the rest of her family, you might see them more in a bit.


    Hint to direct our search?


    Look at the end of Hit and Run part 1 :D.

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    4 years 2 months ago #51 by Dreamer
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    Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.

    Rain on a Sunny Day part 3 comments
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    Thank You for story comments appreciated and help me know me they are being read and liked. :-) Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
    4 years 2 months ago #52 by Enemyoffun
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  • Dreamer wrote: SPOILER ALERT
    Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.

    Rain on a Sunny Day part 3 comments

    Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]


    I always LOVE reading your comments here. Thanks for them :)

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