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Question Under the Sea
- Dreamer
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Topic Author
Thank You for story comments appreciated and help me know me they are being read and liked.

- Dreamer
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Topic Author
Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.
Under the Sea Part 1 comments
Anise has strange teeth, pale skin, hands a little cold for this weather, don't tell me she is actually a ghost or some supernatural being. Theo is blunt, the house may be a wreck, but calling Anise weird, she is different, until you get to know someone you can't truly know if they are weird or not. Won't go out of his way to hang out with Anise due to his slacker image and his mother is scheming something, feels like there is more to those basket of goodies she is bringing to her neighbors than first let on.
Only 4 other neighbors nearby, that is a very small number of neighbors.
Ugh, sucking up to the neighbors and being nice to Anise so she can take the house she lives in right out from under her while acting as her legal guardian, at least it seems this is Eleanor's scheme."Anise Pickman is your cousin, and she recently lost her grandfather. The estate contacted us, we're her last living relatives. The house was part of the estate, and since we needed a fresh start..."
Okay, now I'm getting vibes of a possible magic-user who is into dark stuff because the Dad's death seems highly suspicious.The divorce had been messy, and right in the middle of it, as Dad was accusing Mom of all kinds of horrible things, he died from a weak heart and sudden stroke no one saw coming. We'd been without money or a place to stay before of course, but not like this.
Oh, so Anise knows about the arrangement, thought it was worse on Mom's part."Why aren't we living with her, or she with us?" Something was odd about that girl.
"Because she requested it that way. She wants her privacy, and she doesn't really know us. Since the estate has 2 houses on this block, it was easy enough. Besides, you think she's weird, so you want your privacy too, right?"
Old furnishings can hide some of the most fun places to hide as a kid.
Okay, reading this, the features on Anise, these are relatives of Sara Waite, aren't they?"Some of them may be from your great great grandfather, Richard Pickman. His work had an odd habit of turning up in our homes. You never knew when you'd turn a corner and run smack dab into something that shocked and disturbed."
Keeping an eye out for the moving guys while Mom cooks dinner, hope Theo is right about his Mom making sure everything works before they moved in. Hans certainly has a unique look. Movers getting a job done fast without breaking anything, must have a lot of experience. Shag carpeting, ack! Cherry red bedroom stuff that lasted that long, quality stuff. A large window opening right over the front door and porch, lucky, a perfect spot for stargazing.
Facing the sea and the Pickman place as well, all the clues and family names seem to hint at Deep One connections.
We haven't gotten the name of this town yet, but I'm guessing it is Innsmouth. Oops, wait, article on the previous town they moved from to here involving the police, is this town founded by the survivors of Innsmouth?It had been a place where a bunch of sailors and their families had moved, from one coast to the other, from some ruined coastal town where over fishing had screwed the area to here, where the remainder had retired.
Research more and fast, before it is too late! Anise knowing the history of the place, of the Waite's and Pickman's, curious, I wonder if Theo is right about this.Wait. The other houses, the way they were placed on the street, the street itself, the way it wound a bit around the hill... all the houses on this end faced the Pickman place. That had to be on purpose, as there was space to put houses between this and that one. So why? Who even designs a road like a fishhook anyway?
Waking up to the smell of pancakes and sausages, yum. Running to go get a shower only to find Anise is visiting for breakfast, and actually answers how are you, Theo, some people still answer that question when asked, it isn't strange.
I hope she is just exaggerating, or this might be the most boring school I've ever heard of.Anise took a moment to clear her throat again, something I was grateful for. "It is unlikely you will have any trouble. The public school in this area is dull and filled with plebeian."
Well. Mom raised an eyebrow. "That bad, huh?"
Anise nodded firmly. "It is highly doubtful most of the instructors would be able to find the capital on a map, the students aside."
That was pretty harsh. "The state capital?"
"The nation's capital." Anise said just before stuffing her face again.
Anise has no friends and hopes to be friends with Theo and his Mom since they are blood relatives, uh oh. Beach, safe to ride your bike in the streets, library and shop nearby, nice place to live, it seems. Fix her bike or have her borrow his spare one, way to go, Mom. The amount Anise eats, has she been starving in that big house all alone, or is something else going on?
Good grief, the only thing worse for that bike would be if the frame were bent from a hard collision. Swim for fun, but shudders at the thought of it, yeah, definitely massive Deep One vibes off her. Convert him, inside joke he isn't getting, eep. Thai takeout, wonder if a town that small has such a place. Tools lost in a garage, heh, try losing them in a tool chest.
Anise looking through the family photo album making Theo uneasy, listen to your gut, kid. A carriage house, haven't seen one of those in a long while. That door was either less rusted shut than it appeared to be, or Anise is very strong. A bike that old, either it was passed down for generations or Anise is a lot older than she appears. And it is an even bigger wreck than I expected, bent wheel and how did she lose a gear for the chain?
Listing all those things off, starting to think it might be cheaper to get her a new bike. A bike seat that can extend to hold two, huh, never seen that before. All this in the San Fran area, interesting to be just 7 miles from all that. A nineteen fifty-six Schwinn, replacement parts for that bike might cost more than a new bike would. Thinking Anise would look good in a wetsuit, oh boy. $29.95 for a chain and pedal, yikes.
*eyes bug out* Nooo, Anise! $7 for each tire, sounds reasonable. And the gear being delivered, not bad for a trip into the city.Anise moved on to the diver's knives, and I swear I could see her drool on the case.
A big hill, so fun to go down on a bike as a kid, such a pain to go up to the point that just walking while pushing your bike is less exercise. A woman who weighs that much, hhm. 14 miles on a bike with 80-100 lbs. of extra weight, no wonder Theo is exhausted. $27 for the gear and delivery charge, so the total for it all wasn't equal to a new bike, huh. The bike fixed up and time to go to the beach, I bet anise has an old-time swimsuit.
Picnic lunch, 1 shot of pepper spray in case of trouble, and towels to sit on, people are going to think they are on a date. Black with polka dots one-piece on Anise, fitting. With that hat and sunglasses, Anise is dressed like an older woman from a 40s-50s beach movie. A shortcut to the beach and an empty stretch of it for them, a private beach, yet Theo wants to go where the people are for people-watching.
A clean beach with no litter or junk, now you have to be curious why more people don't live there. Anise doesn't know about most modern things, picnic baskets a rarity now.
Ouch, I wonder how her grandfather did. Diving and swimming like that, you just know her eventual fate isn't going to be nice. Her eyes changing color like that, beautiful and eerie at the same time."You should have no fear of sharks," Anise scoffed. "They should only attack if you act as a fat baby seal."
Was that.... was that a joke? Anise was smiling, so maybe it was.
"That was a joke, wasn't it? Somehow I don't imagine you tell those often."
Anise shrugged, heading into the surf. "It is true. There has been little to jest of in my life."
Who is this guy? Alan keeping an eye on Anise.
Something really strange is going on with Anise beyond all the clues so far. Alan heads back to his friends while Anise comes out of the water to sit beside Theo."Let me guess. She's weird, and if I hang with her I'll be considered weird too."
Alan turned back to me, his face serious. "She's dangerous. She knifed a kid in school last year. So, yeah, you should be careful. Weird is practically a way of life down here, but there is weird, and then there is dangerous weird."
Well, that put an entirely new spin on things. "She really knifed a kid?"
Alan nodded. "A friend of mine who asked her out. He was nice about it, and she screamed, pulled a knife right there in the school, and stabbed him in the arm. Went all the way through. Ask her, she won't deny it. She got suspended by a month, but somehow avoided expulsion."
Now I want to know what this guy said to Anise. Psych visits for Anise seem like an extremely bad idea. Bwahaha, Theo thinks Anise has a crush on him because she promises not to hurt Theo no matter what he says to her. Glad to see she knows the truth about the old wives tale of swimming after eating.Anise didn't even hesitate before nodding. "I did. He was most crass about his innuendo, and when I told him I was not interested, he made a comment best forgotten. I was... 'not in a good place' that day."
Whoa! Why did that comment get Anise so irritated? My, what a big maw you have, Anise. Cloud watching, one of the best lazy summer activities.
Anise all but outright states there are Deep Ones in living in the ocean by this town.The girl next to me sighed, and ran fingers through her hair, wincing at the tangles. It was such a human gesture I was shocked - then I couldn't really figure out why I was shocked.
"I am, I suppose. The beach becomes dangerous at night."
I looked around; there were still more than a few people around and most of them seemed to be surfers.
Anise read my look. "They are not the cause, yet they are related to it. More than sharks lurk these waters."
Have to remind Mom she said they could go to the beach until dark, she got done early and was annoyed no one answered when she called. Always remember to check the power level on your cell phone before heading out. Anise eating the beef salad right out of the bag, good grief.
Being a mom has to go good for some things."Mom, I just got done telling Anise off for that."
"S'ok," Mom spit out. "This is my own order, you kids get the rest."
That wasn't the point. "Never mind her Anise, she's cheating using Mom privilege."

Dang, now I feel guilty for assuming the worst of Eleanor early on in the story.Mom raised an eyebrow. "You knew. She has a history."
"She's a troubled girl, raised by a terrible man. But she's still family."
Well now that was new. "Terrible how?"
"Mr Waite was... abusive. Known to be abusive, on record as being abusive. But it's not right to speak ill of the dead. So you get up the stairs and don't worry about it.
The water tasting...sharper somehow, don't tell me they can infect others with the water. A fan of a good fantasy story, a kid I can relate to on that. Could Anise really see him through the blinds?
No, not the first day of school. Letting his mom sleep in, Theo is a good son.
The smells under the perfume, I have a feeling they will cling to her no matter how much she cleans herself. Half-day for orientation, nice to see they don't keep them for the whole day, still remember that torture. A bus in that bad of shape with a driver that old with eyes like that, I would use my cell phone to take pictures and show them to my parent as an excuse for why I didn't get into the moving deathtrap.As I got closer, I could pick up her smells - perfume of some kind, thick and cloying. Under that, the smell of the sea and musty clothes that were not quite clean. Ouch; that just wasn't going to work. Do I tell her? Does she already know?
2 boys avoiding being near them, a boy and girl who avoid them and gossip about them.
Figure out if riding your bike to school is fast and soon. A smile more fake than usual from Anise, it is almost like she can sense his emotions or thoughts. Cove high school, strange.It didn't get any better either; no one sat within five seats of us, even when the other seats were full. the conversations got loud again, but there was an undercurrent to them and eyes on us the entire time.
Ack! That secretary needs to learn less is more. Locker in the same hall as your first class of the day, wish my school had done it that way. Mr. Martine, please let him not be a stereotype of a science teacher. A desk near, but not in the back, smart. Brooke, Miguel, Ken, Amanda, and Russ, at least they introduced themselves back, can only hope they are nice. Theo got everyone introducing themselves to each other and it caught on, most kids wait, but not all.
Locker assignments, individual lesson plans, and marking their classes on their new maps by the hour and location, shoot, I wish my school had done this. Got lost so many times the first few days. Reset the bells for a half-day, no matter what else I like this school and its staff that goes all out to help the students adjust to their new setting.
A class in the opposite wing all the way at the end, only hope he doesn't have to run to make it on time. Alex and his friend in the class, along with Anise. After the incident, you would think the school would arrange their schedules so Anise isn't in any of the same classes as that guy.One Mrs. Hanson's class for my next target, for English. The opposite wing and all the way at the end. My locker was on the way, two-ten, right near the main intersection.
Almost up front in the 2nd row, crud, that is prime teacher target zone. Social studies with Mr. Reynolds and Theo leads Anise into the back where the windows are, let her sit where she wants. Computer science with Mrs. Gerr, read chapter one of the textbook, uh oh, Theo read on her might be right, she doesn't seem to know much about computers.
Study hall in Mrs. Hanson's class, huh, always thought that was first thing in the day before 1st regular class, guess it is different for different areas. Mrs. Rodriguez the Spanish teacher, Theo sure paints a picture of her. A class where you learn by practicing the language as you learn it. Mr. Sillet the gym teacher sounds like he is going to be trouble. Running laps without changing into the gym clothes they were assigned, why do I get the feeling Mr. Sillet was a drill sergeant in the army and kicked out for being too rough with the recruits.
A guy named Riley trying to warn Theo about Anise as well. Heh, bet Anise wasn't even fully warmed up by the time they were done with laps. Why is Anise staring at Theo like this, creeping me out now as well. *blinks* Why did the bus go to their stop first, curiouser and curiouser.
A novel idea and I approve of it. Now for a walk on the beach with Anise. The sun setting over the ocean on a beach, now there is something I would love to see."Because I came here first in the morning. Doing it this way makes the time you kids spend on the bus even. Something the school board decided on, years ago."
Anise knows magic, I should have known. A simple light spell and she wants to teach him magic, keep it a secret between them.Magic was a known thing, like mutants were. In fact there were mutant magicians. Many of them were even in high demand and well-known. But magic, that was something anyone could learn. At least, that's what I heard.
Oh boy, now I'm not sure fully want is going on, but with what Anise just said it sure sounds like they both have Deep One blood in them.She looked me right in the eyes. "No, and I'd rather they not. Just you, and me; family. We share the talent, you and I. The power sleeps within us both."
What? "What are you saying?"
"You are, as I am," Anise responded. "We are more than common man. The power runs in our family."
Wait, was she saying I was a mutant? "You're saying I'm a mutant? We both are?"
Anise stepped forward, her eyes glowing just a little. "That is... one interpretation, yes."
So Anise doesn't know when her change into a full Deep One will happen is what this seems to suggest."Instruction in magic will be rime consuming. In order to learn, you must spend much more time with me than on other pursuits - or with other people."
Urk. Yeah me and my big mouth there. "Can't I just learn things a little slower? You know, take it easy? My brain is going to overload if I try to learn too much."
Anise turned and gave me a mild glare. "While you might desire to 'take it easy', your brain will survive the pace I will set. However, we must rush, as I am unsure when the current situation might change."
Oh, so she is worried the situation might change, not that she will, hhm.She caught my look and explained. "I might end up sent to foster parents. I might end up in your home, which would mean much of the material we need in order to do magic as we might will end up sold, as it is in my house. We might all three move away from here, which would be unfortunate since this is a place of power. I do not expect all three of us to move away since you are now enrolled in school, but with just a few short months before that changes, we have little time."
*eyes bug out so much they almost fall out* Just what did her grandfather teach her that she doesn't fear summoning up an eldritch horror?"Alright, but I reserve the right to pull the plug if I can't do it all. I don't want to summon an eldritch horror or something by mistake."
I could hear the smile but she didn't turn around. "There is little chance of such an occurrence. Any and all summonings shall be at my discretion, not at some whim."
"That... was that a joke?" I hoped it was a joke.
"You need not fear. I am quite well versed in the mysteries, and as long as you follow my instructions, no harm shall come to you."
The inside of her home is scarier than the exterior led me to believe. If Theo's mom saw this she would drag Anise out and have it condemned. Anise was never taught how to clean and didn't think to make a spell to do it, yikes. Theo is right, this place needs cleaning up ASAP along with her clothes.
Making Theo sit Indian style, meditation like this isn't for everyone, meditation can be done in other positions and still work.
She started to get it moving that quickly, dang.Another sigh from behind me. "Your mana, for lack of a better term. The power which flows within you. Now please, reseat yourself. You must feel and recognize the presence, the ebb and flow of your power in order to make best use of it. This method is the quickest way to accomplish such goals."
The quickest, huh? I could get behind that. "How quick?"
"The process can take as little as two days. It will be a good test of how talented you are," Anise admitted, placing her hands on my back again. "For you it will likely take longer, as we will have far less time to devote to the practice. Yet, you might surprise me."
Oh shoot, sounds like Anise is from the side of the same that Sara doesn't like to talk about. This is bad. The session ends because Theo has to go home.Anise leaned over to look me in the eye. "Magic is a family occupation; I was taught by my father and grandfather, but you were not taught by yours. All Waite's should know the mysteries, without exception. It is my happy duty to teach you, as the sole remaining member who knows our family art."
It would be a shame if something bad happened and no one knew the family business. "Do we have special spells that only we know? Or spells our ancestors have invented?"
"We do. In time you shall learn them, but for now please focus."
No wonder the power doesn't work there."It is unlikely your phone will work in this house. There are... items here which tend to have deleterious effects on technology."
Mad dash home to make dinner and he didn't get Mom's texts, must have been sent while he was with Anise at her home. Computer science textbooks, I've heard them recommended as sleep aids more than once.
*in Bugs Bunny voice: "Do tell."* Oh boy, the tale about Pickmans the Mom was told sounds like a cover story to me for what really happened. Ouch, the way Theo thinks about his mom drinking seems like she is an alcoholic and falling off the wagon. Darn, now I have to wait for the next part to read what happens next."Yeah yeah," she waved me off. "I'll take over tomorrow. Today was just exhausting, trying to track everything down. I had to hire a private detective to look into the Pickman's. There might be some skeletons in that closet. "
Thank You for story comments appreciated and help me know me they are being read and liked.

- Enemyoffun
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Master of The DarkRealms
The DarkRealms Universe
- Nagrij
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Dreamer... I love that you've picked up what I was going for on several points, but I think the thing I realized most when reading your review was... I misspelled many words in writing the piece. I will get on that.
Enemy, I'm glad the tone came through, it is sometimes very difficult for me to keep such a thing consistent from tale to tale. One of the downfalls of writing the way I do. (A braindead lag gerbil with ADHD, as one fan put my writing style so well.)
It is indeed a gray and gloomy kind of tale.
www.patreon.com/Nagrij
If you like my writing, please consider helping me out, and see the rest of the tales I spin on Patreon.
- Trantos0_1
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You know, for some crazy reason I have the suspicion that this story will not be involving a singing crab and a cute mermaid. Beings that are varying degrees between fish and men I can see showing up though.Under the Sea
Coupled with her feeling oddly cold for the weather (not to mention her behavior, statements etc), I'll take not normal human (or not human to begin with) for 500 Alex.Pale as a ghost, with pitch black hair that seemed to shimmer for a moment in the sunlight, she was thin in a way supermodels might envy, with hints of curve just blossoming out of nowhere. Her face was heart-shaped, with large dark gray eyes blinking up at me over a slim nose with just a hint of tilt, and a mouth full enough to paint words on.
- Astrodragon
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Yes, I'm old!
I like the story, now get bus on part 2!!
I love watching their innocent little faces smiling happily as they trip gaily down the garden path, before finding the pit with the rusty spikes.
- Nagrij
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If you like my writing, please consider helping me out, and see the rest of the tales I spin on Patreon.
- null0trooper
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Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.
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- Anne
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Adopt my story: here
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- Kettlekorn
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