Solved A Good Man

This was going to be a comment, but it seems a bit too long... ... Can't subscribe to Article comments unless you make one? ... Hmm... Gonna see if there's a URL solution...

Oh my god! ... This is terrible!

As in having terrifyingly cruel events, not as in having terribly bad writing.

*heheh*... *sigh*...

Classic Domoviye Blood and Terror! And Elrod too... ("Everything I touch turns to blood! And Terror!")

[Yes, Elrod just was saying if things fit canon or not, but memes. MEMES! ... If it was anyone else, I wouldn't be talking about the canon-checker...]



Hmm... Will Dr. Carter rescue his patients? If so, how?? ... How many parts does this have?

... Hmm... Will Dr. Carter follow the footsteps of Dr. Braeburn, and be mutated/empowered?

A visit to Dr. Carson again, and get her help?

What are the other Canon MCO-Sympathetic stories? Hmm... All the MCO people are new, aren't they?

And here I thought I was being nice. No one's died yet.
Oh wait, I did kill that one guy, and the good doctor could be touch and go there.

hmm.

This story is quite different from Guest of the MCO. It won't have any plot tumours.

As for how many parts, I don't know. I'm half done the next half, but originally this first part was going to be two sections, until I realized i'd committed an unbearable sin as a writer, it was boring.
So while the plot and important scenes all fit what I'd originally planned, the side characters and scenes have been in some cases shrunk and expanded. The best I can say is there wll be more than one part.

Yeah, true, I'm being really hyperbolic right now.

What, you mean the parasite? ( Parasite! Tumor! Parasite! )

Hmm. Interesting.

No, my plot tumours are much worse. My characters run crying to the far corners of my mind when the parasites come out to play.

A Good Man Part 1 comments
Why is Tara at an MCO research lab, with Dr. Anthony Carter thinking of her as a test subject it doesn't sound good to me. At least he is trying to be nice to Tara, but is it just to get her to open up or does he actually care about the girl. A teenage girl who looks better than Cindy Crawford, better be keeping a close on the guards around her. Training Tara to gain control of what sounds like super-strength from a mid-to-high level Exemplar trait, but why the MCO and why at a research lab like she is a guinea pig.

Studying mutants to try and understand things about them, sounds more like the 'test subjects' are unwilling captives of the MCO and being experimented upon against their will. Especially since Dr. Carter doesn't like the methods the other doctor uses. He gets her a tape, almost forgot this was in 1991 for a moment, to try and keep her calm and listens to her talk about the singer. The title of the song would trigger an alarm for me that something was wrong, 'Don't Cry' sounds like a cry for help to me.

Nora finds out Tara was beaten yesterday by someone using a baton, one of the security guards is a real scumbag. Definitely captives having illegal experiments done on them. Poor Tara too afraid to say almost anything. Sent Tara into a rage for part of her 'treatment' by Dr. Brennan, I would be angry at them harming a young girl like that too. She has that kind of power, yet they have her that afraid to speak up, these people are monsters.

A mutant helping the MCO set up their 'research lab', ugh. A gadget of some sort, probably a scanner with something extra, but designed to contain a rager. Restraints designed to hold even a level 6 exemplar, good grief. A machine to induce a rager incident, something she hates and fears. Yet Dr. Carter is deluding himself into thinking this is all research to help other children with the results, as if the MCO would allow that. Electrical shock to induce a rager incident, that is just cruel. And drained to the point of falling asleep afterwards, how can anyone witness a young girl go through that and not have the urge to stop it.

Oh god, she is in shock and they do this to her as a regular basic, I'm going to be sick. At least she told about the guards beating her, didn't get back in her room fast enough and beat her, while Dr. Brennan walked away and the guards said she deserved it. *seeing red* Dr. Carter saying he will make sure it doesn't happen again and she didn't deserve it, while poor Tara has been so brainwashed by these creeps she believes she deserves everything they do to her. *had to stop typing for a minute, otherwise would have broken keyboard in anger*

Director Brown, why does that name sound familiar to me? And he tries to justify their attack on Tara by saying she attacked one of the guards, a complete lie, arrrggggh! She was so doped up from tranquilizers and after a controlled rager incident she couldn't hurt a child, yet still Director Brown tries to say mutants are unpredictable to excuse the attack upon someone who was helpless. Calling her a mass murderer for 10 deaths, caused by a mental illness she has no control over, Director Brown sees mutants as monsters to be dealt with and not as humans anymore, sickening.

A child and in their care, Dr. Brennan made a deal with prosecutor and defense attorney to keep Tara as a test subject, to discover how to limit and present rage incidents in other mutants. Swore an oath Tara would be treated humanely and yet they do this kind of crap and make up excuses for why it is okay. Great, the beginning of the true hardliners among the MCO or at least increases in their numbers and Director Brown is one of them.

And Brown tries to use the Fools Fight as an excuse for what he is doing to a young girl, listing other mutant threats like Gizmatic and Paramount to justify his beliefs and actions. With that mindset of Brown's, he probably sees all mutants as dangerous and wants to suppress their powers 'for the good of humanity'. He thinks the ends justify the means and that protecting baselines matters more than humane treatment of their research subjects. He calls Carter a mutant lover for saying he will report the beatings to his superiors , why do I feel that Dr. Carter is in danger now.

The MCO just got worse over time, if all Carter can get is a promise to look into the situation and to be patient. So the MCO hadn't gotten as bad as it is in 2006 yet, but was on its way, with young researcher and agents thinking they are in an army meant to fight mutants on the street. Oh brother. And Carter sees the truth, with the MCO heading the way it was going, more and more mutants would fight back instead of lay down and die, leading to more deaths and unneeded fighting. This isn't just stupidity, this is arrogance and paranoia mixed with stupidity.

The big guy is Franky and the teen is Victor, oh boy, I see what you did there. Hope Victor does well and doesn't need Dr. Carter to patch him up. Bigoted idiots, glad to see Dr. Carter stand up to them and get them to hold their tongues. Victor is a willing test subject and can leave any time he wants and they could have driven them away, yet when he threatens to get them fired or sent to the Northern Alaska research center they glare at him. Something seriously wrong with hiring men with attitudes like that. At least the leader apologized and got them to back down.

Hard to control fire manifestation that he is improving in control of, Victor seems to need some confidence. Hope he only needs 1 more year to get it under control enough to live a normal life again. Trying to discover a drug, device, or treatment to stop a mutant power entirely, that could easily be weaponized by the MCO. If only it would only be used on mutant criminals or mutants like Tara, Victor, and others where removing their powers would improve their life. But that is naïve thinking when dealing with the MCO, guess they weren't as blatant back in 1991 otherwise Dr. Carter would be worried what his research would be used for.

Yikes! No immunity to his own fire manifestation, on wonder it is such a curse for Victor. And to work himself so hard as to burn off the flesh from his hands without complaining. Barely feeling any pain due to the drugs he is on, Victor is too stubborn for his own good. Poor kid was having fun and didn't want to stop, despite doing that much damage to his hands. No heavy impact exercise for a week or else grounded with no TV, way to hit him where it hurts. Shower by an orderly, Dr. Carter is right, no teenage boy wants that humiliation. And Carter upset at letting Victor get so badly hurt by his own powers, man has the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Franky helps out a fellow guard with a cash problem, never heard of CHILL in relation to the name of a form of cash before. New guys all part of the hardliner replacement plan that some higher ups in the MCO are plotting, treating Franky like a leper for liking mutants and treating Victor nice. Franky insults Enrico for insulting him, holds back and waits for the other guy to throw the first punch to get him first, not knowing that Director Brown will probably pull strings to protect fellow hardliners. Other guys goading Enrico on, while Franky simply insults him again, yet Red sees through Franky and stops Enrico, knowing he would get fired if he threw the first punch. Telling them an excuse of why he works with the mutants before he leaves, I don't buy that is the only reason he works with them.

Sonny, a speedster with scales in place of hair; poor Ben looking like a half-melted doll and having to use a wheelchair, yet so polite. And the boys joke about getting some girls to Dr. Carter right as he is about to leave for the day, from a voice that seems to come from all around. Yet have to settle for Tara or the nurses, which Rob doesn't care for, saying he isn't into older women and calling Tara a murderer. Rob is hairless, with a pink face that is nearly featureless except for two small black pinhole like eyes, and lizard like nostrils; smooth skin of place of mouth, jaw, and ears. No wonder he sounds a bit bitter to me.

Oh boy, boys taunting each other about doing what boys do in private, including Victor who shouldn't because of his powers. That is an unusual way to eat for Rob, sonic frequency to crumble the pills to dust and then absorbs them through his skin. Oh boy, a new drug regime and blood work for Sonny, how he can stay still long enough to do that is beyond me with his powers and level of control.

A woman with greying hair, Dr. Brennan seems polite but the moment he brings up what the guards did I doubt she will remain so. Forcing him to keep up so she sets the pace of their encounter, and she has met with politicians, business leaders, and various Goodkinds, all very anti-mutant. Explains her attitude towards testing, she doesn't even see her test subjects as humans anymore. Trying to excuse her lack of action by saying Director Brown found nothing wrong with her actions, ugh. The woman is an ice queen, cold and logical all the time. Ooo, and her uncle was one of the first reported ragers on record, she actually gets upset at him being brought up.

Trying to transfer Nora, they are targeting any mutant 'lovers' who work with Dr. Carter to try and weaken his support as the research lab. Plus she has a boyfriend here who is going to propose soon, ripping her life apart over petty politics is just cruel. The Director's secretary obviously was told exactly what to say and practiced it. Trying to set him up with one of the new researchers, aka a plant that works for the hardliners, this will put back Dr. Carter's research years.

Hopefully the head office will tell the truth and stop Nora's transfer; if it did come from the top then the hardliners have already infiltrated them. Chemicals not being consistent between the ragers when tested, sounds right as mutants shouldn't be predictable. No animal mutants, plus a fiasco called Butchers Row which made mutants afraid to come to the MCO, leaving only the desperate coming to the MCO looking for help or agreeing to help his research. Definitely different that 2006, doubt any mutant would willingly be part of an MCO research project by then.

Police reports can be doctored and people can lie, I agree with Mrs. Carson not trusting the MCO and their research project. To lose a student who was like one of her children to corrupt police and an MCO agent, if she had found any proof they murdered him I doubt she wouldn't have contact the Syndicate about it. And Dr. Carter thinks she is being stupid and hardheaded, he is being naïve in his belief that the MCO and police don't lie and doctor reports, especially when it involves a mutant.

Splitting up a whole team of researcher for 'more important research elsewhere', David is right, the MCO started going insane right around then. That close to figuring out what happens inside a warper's head when they are using their power and they cut him off; sound like they are coopting the research for other plans. And is happening is the hardliners are taking over and they think all mutant research should be about ways to contain or kill them.

All this mess because of Fools Fight and the Goodkinds funneling more money to the MCO but only to the field agent division. Bribing the DPA and politicians to get their way, federal support for more field agents and support staff, the true start of the MCO's corruption into the monsters they have become by 2006. Because of one incident people started living in fear, increasing H1! ranks and the MCO's power. Even local police in on burning and lynching of suspected mutants, more than a few are baselines with rare eye color or conditions being killed out of fear and ignorance.

And the start of the MID, forcing mutants to register and using Dr. Carter's rating system which was only for research and policing purposes, talk about severe abuse of power. Blocking out and forced retirement of the old guard they can't remove, talk about corrupt tactics within their own ranks. And with the way things are in 2006 that miracle they needed to keep the MCO following their charter never came.

This David Wellington says he spent 5 years hunting down mutant supervillains and their henchmen, was injured aiding the police in a mutant manhunt, not sure what to think about him. Thinks the rating system is a good thing, seems to be sucking up to Dr. Carter. Says he won't have a problem working with mutants, I'm with Dr. Carter on not believing him. First reflex upon seeing Rob was to try and go for a gun he used to have on him at all times, badly idea for this guy to work around mutants. At least David was professional with the physical, even if he was cold about it.

His hope of the other candidates falling fast, as Mrs. Wells thought she would be working with dead mutants, despite being told they would be young mutants, that is a sick woman. And the final one is just as bad, calling Victor an it, acting like mutants should do exactly what they are ordered. She cared more about her makeup than the harm she did to Victor and when dismissed was shocked and blamed Victor, another hardliner idiot.

Poor kids, losing Nora because of politics and stupidity, with David the least bad of the bunch. At least David can be trained, unlike the other two. And of course Rob want a pretty young woman as the nurse so he could try and seduce her, kid dreams big. The Iron Mountain married a woman with stretching powers, yet too intimate to tell the kids about. And Dr. Carter too married to his work to find a wife, typical scientist too focused on their work. Thanking Dr. Carter for treating them like humans, when it something they should be given and not have worry about.

Dr. Brennan used a surgical saw on Tara while she was drugged and restrained, yet could still feel it, that woman is a monster! Cut her hand off, ball-gag in her mouth and did it again while sadistic guards watched, yet she has been brainwashed into believing she deserves it. All because of what happened in her uncontrolled rage that killed her parents and 8 others. Tara is living a nightmare, fearing her own rage getting out, the inhuman testing of Dr. Brennan, and her treatment by the guards.

The security chief dumping the new guys on Franky and being a lazy bum until he needs to look good for the director. *screams in frustration at the amount of idiots in the MCO* And that is certainly different from how the MCO runs their facilities now, standing their ground no matter what. Oh boy, this guy asking about mutants is going to be trouble, lost from fingers to one and wants some payback. Warning them about Victor and especially Tara, yet at least one guy doesn't get it, thinking she should be locked up. Saying she has a better grip on her temper than most teens Franky knows doesn't convince them, guess they will learn. And as Franky said, mess with her and members of the old guard will beat you up, at least those that are left.

Rob the only one around and taunts someone about being prettier than them, and the guard with half his face burned off shoved Rob and sent him flying, bad move. The sensation of something playing drums in their guts, with the guard who attacked Rob let out a nasty fart and it ended. Rob did something like a 'brown note' and made the guy shit himself, dang. Talk about call him a freak, look at him with disgust but lay a hand on him and you are in trouble, that isn't even the worst he can do to someone. Rob just got a lot scarier. And scar face goes to attack with his baton, only for Franky to take him outside and tell him to report for attacking a patient. If you can't handle some teens mouthing off, you don't need to be working with them. Scar face got off lucky.

Corrupt guards following Dr. Brennan's orders and coming in full armor with weapons that can hurt her, after Tara has cooperated with them. Even saying she can refuse the experiment or study until another doctor reviews it and they say they are just following orders, many monsters in history were 'just following orders'. Only Tara's desire not to kill anyone ever again spares the idiot guards. And those sick guards wanted her to resist so they could attack and possibly kill her, sick *****.

Crap, Enrico is one of the guards, this isn't good. Sick ***** talking about getting a video of the torture for later, these guys are monsters, taking please in the suffering of another. The guards are saying they are just following orders, to go see the doctor, treating her like she isn't even human, Tara is going to end up dead at this rate. She is trying to hold back her rage, they wish to kill her, not wishing to kill those she has come to care about here and tries to run for Dr. Carter's office. This is going to end in tragedy.

Nora quit rather than move, good for her, get out of the MCO now. Getting rid of the old guard through corrupt politics, someone should have done something before it got this far. The Director's secretary lying about him not being available again, she is told to say that to any of the old guard who come to confront him. He created these labs and built them from scratch, yet the MCO is stealing it from him with their corrupt politics, ugh.

The fear and panic after the Fools Fight is just foolish, people murdering their own children or letting them be murdered simply for manifesting, just sickening. Poor Tara shows up and despite Dr. Carter being there the guards still try to take her, at least the idiots didn't stop him from taking Tara and hopefully stopping a rager incident. Begging to be sent to jail, despite the thought scaring her in the past, Dr. Brennan needs some cosmic justice handed down to her. Telling about the last experiment, it sounds even worse than reading the torture she was put through, plus the guards taunting her about doing more today and be fun to watch. How such people can call themselves humans is beyond me. Dr. Carter is going to call his superiors, should have called the lawyer instead.

Oh crap, heading to Detroit to demand help in person, isn't Detroit one of the worst MCO offices in the future. These new guys, if I heard them talking like this and saw the way things were going, I'm afraid I would end up killing all of these monsters. Good, teach these aholes a lesson they never forget. Trying to confront Enrico and his thugs, they head outside the bar only for it to be a set-up, using a flash-bang on Franky and his group to gain an unfair advantage, then ganging up on Franky. Hearing about this will trigger a rager incident in Tara and Enrico first on the chopping block.

H1! idiots calling for the MCO to wipe out mutants, not realizing more would be born to so called normal baselines, no one knows the true source of mutants. The mob blocking proper business of a government building, that is an arrestable offense. Crowding around an older gentleman like that who is walking with a cane, bunch of animals, acting out of fear with no rational thought. Oh, great. Another of the hardliners is the receptionist at main MCO HQ, this is a seriously bad sign.

A door designed to stop a raging exemplar, proof that the Fools Fight has turned them into paranoid fools who think all mutants are a threat, imo. And they have spread bad news and lies about Dr. Carter, making everyone fearful or suspicious of him. Richard is in worse shape than before, great, he isn't even in charge of the research center anymore. They can't even find out who their boss, needless bureaucracy to keep those who would complain from being effective. Anyone pro-mutant being given forced retirement, the corruption of the MCO in becoming what they are in 2006 is worse than I imagined. Get the patients back to their parents [Sentence says Get your patients back to your parents.], send Robert to New York to live on his own, and get Tara sent to prison where it will be safer. This is a nightmare for every one of the old guard. And they are killing the mutant research volunteers and trying to make it look like accidents. *screams in fury*

Director Brown is lying to the boys and trying to say their parents gave temporary custody of them to the MCO, that slimeball! No visits from their parents, all the better to do illegal experiments and end up killing them in 'accidents'. They complain and the guard pulls out a large taser, just a bunch of thugs now. And intimidating Robert into staying, this is bullshit, when Dr. Carter gets back I hope he sorts this all out and gets them out of there without Brown stopping him or killing any of them in the process.

Arm in a sling from a sprain wrist, barely able to see out of his right eye, and a concussion, plus Franky's two friends had broken bones. Yet the police did nothing, bunch of cowards. Slashed the front left tire so he can't drive it, adding insult to injury. Enrico and his buddies will pay for this.

Great, because of the attitude towards mutants like now the mutant would sentence her to the death penalty, despite her being underage and having a mental illness which caused it, reading this story is hard, I'm literally starting to feel physically ill from the thought of people treating other humans this way. And the scum would fast-track it so she is dead in 5 years. 3 siblings shot and burned because the 13 year old was accused of being a mutant, not even confirmed and they did it. The people doing this are nothing but animals. The hate and rot he thought was safely contained in the MCO is loose, taking it all over, should have removed it sooner with prejudice. A transport truck hit Richards car, with everything that has happened it is obviously the hardliners form of 'forced retirement'. *dry heaves*

They say the driver fell asleep and veered into the oncoming lane, still feels like a set-up to me. And the mugger hitting him across the face I could buy from a real mugger, they would have ran afterwards, fearing the police might show up. But this guy keeps beating on him, leading me to believe it is an MCO hardliner who was sent to silence Dr. Carter. Wonder how he is going to get out of this one.

Excellent! The physical illness is exactly what I was aiming for.
With the attitudes and anti-mutant bigotry, I simply took things that happened in canon, and made them worse for the civilians, and not quite as bad for the MCO. I figured that all the bad things happening from mutants, it would have people in hysterics, so things like H1 attacking kids, sometimes with the parents help would be common. Riots around superhero bases, and police turning a blind eye or helping would be seen.
But the MCO would just be starting in the process of disappearing mutants and more inhumane experiments.

As for testing Tara like they do, they don't really have much choice. They need to learn about how raging works and she's the only possible test subject. Initially it was as humane as possible, we're seeing it as the hardliners take control, and push the limits.

Butchers Row was mentioned in one of the Call The Lightning parts by Eldritch. I figured it would be fun to throw it in as somewhat recent, and a further frustration for Carter to complain about.

The Guns N Roses song, Don't Cry', was #1 for a few months in 1991, and I like it a lot. And Tara wasn't brainwashed, just extreme survivors guilt and depression over her actions.

CHILL is a Whateley universe currency, created as a joke by EE. I believe it was Cryptic who asked about what currency they used in Karedonia, and EE gave a quick answer that quickly grew. The scene with the money was made the same day I read it, and I'm very glad it stayed in.

More explanations for different things will come in the story, as we follow the fun and exciting adventures of Dr. Carter, in this fulfilled romp through history.
Thanks for the review it was a pleasure to read.

All right now that the excitement has worn off, I'd like to thank Elrod for helping this story come into existence and acting as a sounding board for me. Without him I wouldn't have even thought of this story.

And to the nameless beta readers and editors, thanks for the help. It's really appreciated.

Interesting glimpse of the corruption of the MCO

Nice to see Domoviye moving up to work with the big boys/girls.

Looking forward to seeing how this goes.

Thanks.
I can't make any promises if I'll be able to keep working with the big boys/girls, but I've got some interesting ideas to play with if I get the chance.

Just got finished reading through this myself, and I have to say that Dom has done his usual great job of tugging at my heart-strings. Reading along I could feel every bit of frustration that Carter feels about the situation, and to say that I was getting ticked at how the kids were being treated, especially Tara, would be a major understatement. A very moving story, and I can't wait for the rest of it.

Thank you.
Your heartstrings will be happy to know that the next part has some light in it.
...
It may possibly be a flamethrower.

Domoviye wrote: Thank you.
Your heartstrings will be happy to know that the next part has some light in it.
...
It may possibly be a flamethrower.

Well, if Victor's still alive, then of course there'll be light. And fire!

...Victor can't be a flamethrower, right? He just sets himself on fire, I think?... Is he even a mutant? Or an Origin? 'Cause he's lacking fireproofing, which I'd expect a mutant to have, as discussed on Origins, that they activate some traits, but not others, possibly missing out on Required Secondary Powers, while Mutants usually get the RSP. ... I wonder...

Then again, I'm forgetting the MCO stances on Origins vs. Mutants, and it's not like they can tell at the time...

Could Victor's Fire be Magical Fire?

Have we seen anyone else Manifest or Conjure or whatever, insubstantial substances, like Fire? ... Ok... Dragonsfyre, but she's Magic, not a Pure Mutant... Nacht is Shadow and also Magical. Anyone else? ... But, Victor might just be Thermal Control, or a burned-out Energizer, having his powers screwed up?

What are Victor and Tara's ratings, under Dr. Carter's System? ... Which seems to be the ancestor of the Yerunkle-Corbin system, which has its own descendant, the Hewley-Aranis system.

I wonder... Is the Stein Mutant Rating, actually more accurate? ... Possibly... And the decline of its use in the MCO shows its shift from a Science to a 'Policing' organization...

*sigh* ... There's tons of explanations for Fire Syndrome, or whatever the term is. As has been said.

A trait is the cause, whereas a syndrome is the effect. A trait is the actual genetic sequence or biological mechanism that causes a mutant ability. A syndrome is the more obvious display of power that comes from a trait. The thing is, a syndrome can be produced from many different causes. For instance a mutant who produces a fire effect might be the avatar of a fire spirit, an energizer who creates plasmas, a manifestor whose manifestations take on a fire aspect, a pyrokinetic, or wizard with a fire attunement.

...Victor can't be a flamethrower, right? He just sets himself on fire, I think?... Is he even a mutant? Or an Origin? 'Cause he's lacking fireproofing, which I'd expect a mutant to have, as discussed on Origins, that they activate some traits, but not others, possibly missing out on Required Secondary Powers, while Mutants usually get the RSP. ... I wonder...

Then again, I'm forgetting the MCO stances on Origins vs. Mutants, and it's not like they can tell at the time...

Could Victor's Fire be Magical Fire?

Have we seen anyone else Manifest or Conjure or whatever, insubstantial substances, like Fire? ... Ok... Dragonsfyre, but she's Magic, not a Pure Mutant... Nacht is Shadow and also Magical. Anyone else? ... But, Victor might just be Thermal Control, or a burned-out Energizer, having his powers screwed up?

Victor is a mutant and a manifestor. He has a similar problem to Frostbite his powers don't protect him from his powers.
Phoenixfire is a fire manifestor in Whateley, and so is Tissi.

What are Victor and Tara's ratings

This will not be appearing in the story, and it would be horribly inaccurate anyways using Carter's early ranking system.

Victor: Manifestor (Fire) 3 Regeneration 3 (slow but very thorough)

Tara: Exemplar 4 Regeneration 3 (low end)
When raging Exemplar 5, Regeneration 5 (the regeneration typically lasts for up to fifteen minutes after the rage ends)
(When on the edge of a rage her regeneration is about 4 or 5, but that is incredibly dangerous to handle)

Sonny: Energizer Speedster 4,

Robert: Siren 4 (more for his control and flexibility over his sonic powers then sheer strength)

Ben: Shifter (stretcher type) 2

What are Victor and Tara's ratings, under Dr. Carter's System? ... Which seems to be the ancestor of the Yerunkle-Corbin system, which has its own descendant, the Hewley-Aranis system.

I wonder... Is the Stein Mutant Rating, actually more accurate? ... Possibly... And the decline of its use in the MCO shows its shift from a Science to a 'Policing' organization...

Non-canon answer (for now?):
Carter's ranking system was the original, but it was best used for exemplars, the rest was very much touch and go, although he did try very hard to put in as much info about shifters as possible. In regards to esper abilities, the rankings were guesses at best, and he personally wasn't sure how to rank magic as a mutant ability so left it out.

The ranking system was made in the mid 70's, only becoming more widespread in the late 80's as it finally found support amongst the field division of the MCO. It was under constant tweaking by Dr. Carter and others. As it was better defined, the researchers who made the biggest changes got their names attached to that version. And considering how Dr. Carter is getting pushed around by the MCO, in the future they encourage the alternate names, giving him a very minor endnote in any papers on the matter.

The Stein Mutant Rating was more accurate if you could do the math and understand everything. However it was so easy to make a mistake that only researchers could use it effectively and even then there were frequently multiple errors. So it was eventually discarded as too unwieldly.

First off great story Domo, it's got your... I want to call it sense of Horror and building depression that I enjoy in your stories.
Second, thanks for semi pinning down the date when Karedonia was taken over by Gizzy, that helps me immensely. I now just need to figure out what he would have in place about a decade after taking over.

-pauses, does some math and snerks a laugh- Jobe was likely conceived when Joe and his wife celebrated his rise to power.

First off great story Domo, it's got your... I want to call it sense of Horror and building depression that I enjoy in your stories.

Is it strange that I find this immensely satisfying to hear?
Glad I could help pin down the date a bit better for you.

That turnaround with Franky, and the timing on Carter being told to get the mutants out just as that stops being an option. Good stuff.

I'm hoping they arrange a breakout, but...

Thank you.
The timing is the least of their problem right now. Just wait and see what I have planned, it's going to be so much fun.

Given the current course of events, the logical next steps would be for Carter to be gradually pushed out of the MCO - perhaps due to his knowledge or seniority, they probably can't get rid of him directly or redeploy him elsewhere, so they'll continue to push his buttons, hoping he'll resign and allow them free reign. It's also likely that if the approach of the new testing regime on Tara is also applied to the others, it won't be long before one of them flips, causing multiple deaths and injuries, plus justifying either their direct killing or their "disappearance."

About the only hope I can see for the students is if they somehow come to the attention of Whateley and/or ARC.

Actually, the current Wiki article on ARC doesn't contain much about its history other than the core being an 18th century asylum, surrounded by "21st century chrome and glass extensions". Perhaps with so many MCO researchers being laid off and the MCO's research budget dwindling to virtually nothing, the steps are laid for the foundation of ARC...

Good guesses, you'll just have to wait a bit to find out how close you are.

So tonight I found myself being unable to move due to being at the mercy of my dog, when I realised that I'd completely forgotten about reading this first part.

Cue a number of emotions ranging from despair, frustration through to a significant portion of rage.

It was very heavy-hitting, and for that I commend you as you shed the light (or more accurately snuff it out) where the nature of the modern (as of Gen 1) MCO is concerned.

It's likely just the inside perspective of the experiments performed and the total lack of care given to the mutants with the shift, but it seems to me that the MCO at this point is even "darker" than it is during the Gen 1 time thus far - possibly due to shifts in politics and circumstances such as Wednesday Morning, 5am, but perhaps also due to them becoming more savvy in their operations. Makes me increasingly curious as to whatever event/s is/are pertinent to the shift again going in Gen 2...

I'd certainly not call it an enjoyable read, per se, but you certainly evoked strong emotions that were conveyed in an excellent manner. You did good, Domoviye.

Ametros wrote: So tonight I found myself being unable to move due to being at the mercy of my dog, when I realised that I'd completely forgotten about reading this first part.

Cue a number of emotions ranging from despair, frustration through to a significant portion of rage.

It was very heavy-hitting, and for that I commend you as you shed the light (or more accurately snuff it out) where the nature of the modern (as of Gen 1) MCO is concerned.

It's likely just the inside perspective of the experiments performed and the total lack of care given to the mutants with the shift, but it seems to me that the MCO at this point is even "darker" than it is during the Gen 1 time thus far - possibly due to shifts in politics and circumstances such as Wednesday Morning, 5am, but perhaps also due to them becoming more savvy in their operations. Makes me increasingly curious as to whatever event/s is/are pertinent to the shift again going in Gen 2...

I'd certainly not call it an enjoyable read, per se, but you certainly evoked strong emotions that were conveyed in an excellent manner. You did good, Domoviye.

Thanks. I was hoping for responses like this.
One problem with the second part, is keeping it from getting too bleak. I've rewritten certain parts about five times because they were too detailed and dark. I want to get the strong emotions, but I'm pushing my own limits a few times.

So thanks again, the next part is almost fully edited and it's a doozy.

Wow Domoviye, maybe next time just make us watch kittens drown? Dear lord this was hard to read. Not because of your style or skill but I just kept feeling like I was getting stabbed as I realized just how badly things were starting to get and of course my fears for what will happen in the next installment. I admit I have trouble seeing Tara making it out in one piece, but I still have my hopes up. So thank you for sharing a very good if very gut-punching story with us.

I like kittens, how about I use puppies instead?

Domoviye wrote: I like kittens, how about I use puppies instead?

For some reason I can't get the thought of "Puppy Mill":out of my head... Ewwwww

DanZilla wrote:

Domoviye wrote: I like kittens, how about I use puppies instead?

For some reason I can't get the thought of "Puppy Mill":out of my head... Ewwwww

Maybe this will help:
Fairy Juicer.

Domoviye wrote:

DanZilla wrote:

Domoviye wrote: I like kittens, how about I use puppies instead?

For some reason I can't get the thought of "Puppy Mill":out of my head... Ewwwww

Maybe this will help:
Fairy Juicer.

That sounds very, very, very niche? ... What kind of juice are we talking about here??

Malady wrote:

Domoviye wrote:

DanZilla wrote:

Domoviye wrote: I like kittens, how about I use puppies instead?

For some reason I can't get the thought of "Puppy Mill":out of my head... Ewwwww

Maybe this will help:
Fairy Juicer.

That sounds very, very, very niche? ... What kind of juice are we talking about here??

Idea Storm [ Click to expand ] [ Click to hide ]

Are they like berries, and grow in different flavors? Do you get different Essence flavors from Fairy Juicing?

Or is a a Juicer made for the small size of fairies? Instead of the obvious Juicer that is fed fairies... And then there's the combination, a juicer made for fairies, that is fed fairies... In possibly a life-sucking way and is non-lethal in the short term...

Pick the most disturbing possible meaning and run with it until it's nightmare fuel. Then you can stop or run a little further.

DanZilla wrote:

Domoviye wrote: I like kittens, how about I use puppies instead?

For some reason I can't get the thought of "Puppy Mill":out of my head... Ewwwww

Where do you think that the various "ground" meats at your local grocery store come from?

Domoviye wrote: I like kittens, how about I use puppies instead?

Why am I not surprised?

Oh! We have the next part! Cool to see that they're fighting back! And Whateley is mentioned! Tara's so Woobie! David is a real cipher...

Will one of them die by the end? Victor won't be much use in combat if he burns himself out... Reminds me sort of Meleager and his stick that measures his life...

Rob might incentivize protection against his Sonics or searching for ways to hurt him...

We've got some ForegoneConclusions that Dr. Carter won't manage to take down the MCO, in total, but perhaps some small bit of it? The ForegoneConclusions make this sort of sad! ... But the ultimate fate of Victor and the rest aren't Foregone... Eagerly waiting for the next part!

The doctor seems to be sympathetic! Dr. Brennan... Is she Neutral Uncaring Scientist? No... seems a bit cruel... Err... Very Cruel... Any connection to Nick Brennan ?

Do we only see Dr. Brennan working with Tara? Now we've got three location threads going! MCO Location, Rob, and Dr. Carter...

Congrats Dom...You managed to get me not to finish a story on the first read through. P2 was sooo depressing. I wanted to help Tara sooooo bad.

One of things you all know inside is that the story of the MCO turning evil is a tale of darkness and pain. This story being dark is actually a testament to his skills at capturing that evil and using characters and their suffering to emphasize how evil the MCO is becoming. There's no way any of us could have written this story as less than emotionally difficult to read.

Hmm. For a little while I was worried that the doctors treating Dr. Carter were in on the plot, actively working to keep him away from the facility rather than helping him recover. Looks like that's not the case, though. He was just that severely injured in the attack.

I'm glad that at least Ben got away. I wasn't sure they wouldn't find some excuse to prevent it. He's not in the clear yet, though. I wouldn't put it past these guys to arrange for some sort of accident to befall him and his family. Actually, that is my expectation; I'm hoping to be wrong. Sonny was calling Rob paranoid, but I don't think Rob is being paranoid enough.

A Good Man Part 2 comments
Poor Tara having to deal with MCO agents like that, oh boy. Dr. Freeman not in for a week, plus telling her a story about why. Believing this is more than she deserved, Tara needs to see Dr. Freeman again and soon. Victor's situation is horrible as well, own power a danger to him and potential burnout unless he gets it under control. They tried to drown him and would if his power hadn't flared up forcing the man to let go. Now calling him a genetic defect and saying the pool is for normal people, bunch of bigots. Saying that, but the thin black man being that strong and throwing Victor like that, how is he normal? Murderous psychopaths, the lot of them.

Okay, at least David is friendly, funny story about a guy in his old unit too. Yikes, any type of panic can trigger her rage, horrible to live with. The guards are a bunch of jackbooted thugs who threaten anyone who doesn't let them "just follow orders", ugh. Dang, David is a badass, taking down the guard like that and tossing them out until they come back with proper documentation. Too close with causing Tara to fly into a rage though.

That was just reflex, dang, David is a lot more impressive and intimidating than before. Dr. Carter left behind a good man to keep an eye on Tara, with all the changes happening at the MCO back then. Ben finds out what happened to Victor, Victor is shown the newspaper article about Dr. Carter being badly beaten. Mugging gone wrong, yeah, right. Using Dr. Carter's code to call home without being monitored, Ben is very sneaky. Though it might backfire, since he is in the hospital someone is going to wonder who is using the good doctor's code.

Victor's brother burned that badly, not caring if his own brother is killed even though he didn't have control over his power or a choice in manifesting. Half the police and firefighters in his home town joined up because of what happened with Victor and are using Johnny as a poster boy. Even talks of burning Victor alive and him lighting the match, good lord, it was an accident and he didn't have a choice in manifesting. Murdering him won't change a thing. Victor even having a small part of himself trying to convince him he should have let the guards drown him, things have gotten a lost worse.

Her favorite foods and Brandon giving her small talk, feels like something is up. A picture of Franky hidden in the napkin beaten up severely, all to set her off, these people doing this are sick. Full on rage, throwing David into the bathroom to try and save him from herself, hope she didn't throw him too hard.

Dr. Carter in that bad of shape, trying to remember what happened before he woke up there. Good lore, a serial killer with low level warper to teleport things into the human body and using it that way, a nightmare. The woman saying he is in good hands, why don't I trust what she said.

Rob not wearing a shirt to mess with those uncomfortable by his appearance, anything to mess with the creeps that make up the majority now is a good thing. Six months until he gets his inheritance, betting the MCO isn't going to let him live that long if they can help it. Lights go out and we find out he has sonar more detailed than anything in nature or man made can do. Two guards trying to come beat him, not knowing about his sonar. Surrounding himself in silence, hitting them with an ear piercing squeal, harmonics to control them for a moment, dang, Rob is powerful with sonic manipulation.

Dang, that happened to his father due to living in a village with old style beliefs. Patriotic man who loved America, taught his kids violence was a last resort and only to kill to protect your family. Then Rob manifested and H1! hit squad came for them, brother and mother shot as they watched TV, father killed man who attack Rob and him in kitchen, but got killed shielding Rob from a hail of gunfire. Rob left the 5 remaining members of the hit squad permanently deaf and would have killed them if he knew how back then. All this is to tell the guards not to mess with him or any of the other mutants there or else they won't have to worry about Tara.

Rob calls a group meeting, finds out about the attack on Victor, Ben getting picked up by his parents tomorrow unless the MCO goons do something. Victor and Sonny can't go home for different reasons, having to deal with the guards like they used to might get them beaten or killed now with Dr. Carter gone. Great, the others don't realize how bad things are, Victor doesn't wish to burn anyone due to his own burns and what he saw his powers do to his brother, Sonny just thinks he can run and Rob is being paranoid. Victor scared over what will happen if they fight back, how the guards might react or if the "good guys" might get involved. This is a nightmare they are living in right now.

David alive, but hurting, Tara blaming herself for what happened. 3 broken ribs and bad bruising, because she had a rage incident they have her in that get-up, even though someone deliberately triggered it with a picture of Franky beaten up. Great, she thinks they should have just killed her, poor kid. Lets her out of the gear, gives her the key to leave, yet she drops it and breaks down, crying into David's arms. She wishes for everything to end, but can't bring herself to do it, meaning she really doesn't wish to die deep down.

Franky Collins having to talk to his new boss, Security Chief Penick. Penick telling him to resign, scum just wants more anti-mutant bigots working there and less people looking out for the mutants' interests. Training them to fight, to defend themselves, is a security risk? Only if the guards intend to attack them without cause. Parking lot duty and the chair is broken just as he is about to take over, talk about bullying. The guard grinning, these new guards are scum, sorry to repeat myself but good grief.

In a hospital and in such bad shape he is being kept sedated so he can heal since he keeps trying to move. Dr. Carter is going to freak when he recovers and finds out what has been going on while he was gone.

All those things she figured out about the people there, yet David is a blank to her. Dang, didn't even wash her off and left her in that condition after she went into a rage. David has seen worse than Tara in a rage, has the scars on his face to show it. Mutant werewolf in France did the damage and he didn't even have a gun because the French didn't accept his permits. MCO and superheroes threatening each other instead of working together to capture the mutant, even nearly taking each others heads off, dang. He was helping the victims of the attack, doing his job despite the danger.

Taking care of the wounded and either the MCO or superheroes drove the werewolf in his direction, saved a woman and was slashed from face to waist, waking up in a hospital with his wife sleeping in a chair. Wife is part time hairstylist, he is a nurse, and they have kids together. Tara is told what happened to Dr. Carter and kept herself in control, and now David knows what the guards were trying to pull with the picture of Franky. Ah, he met his wife in Australia.

Ben's mom trying to comfort Victor and Sonny about things getting better as they take their son home, his dad tense as he thinks the MCO might try something. Ben is going to Whateley, talking how he will write to let them know what it is like once he gets settled in there. Ben and Victor teasing each other, as they watch Ben leave. Director says it good, that if the guards leave them alone the boys will leave them alone back. But if any of his men are hurt or they break the rules they will be punished, oh boy.

Blames Rob for dishes that exploded in the kitchen, giving them 30 minutes to clean it up, if not done to his satisfaction no supper. Then Rob calls him on it with colorful language and it gets cut down to 15 minutes, he is setting them up and trying to use any excuse he can to target them now. Rob frustrated as Victor and Sonny won't stand up to the bullying, can't leave without parents permission and thus are afraid what will happen to them. Victor's frustration boils over and he blast a wall, this is bad.

Franky having to deal with the same thugs who beat him the other night. Fired the psychiatrist, this Director is way too obvious about his plotting against the mutants in the facility. Trying to talk to Victor and get him to open up, hope no one is listening in. Oh boy, thinking Dr. Carter might not get better and being told to either roll over and die or fight, Victor is facing some tough choices.

Oh boy, the Director has Tara's chains and mask put back on, her rage back up. Dr. Brennan has Tara so terrified, begging her not to hurt her, her rage dies down. And when says she would rather go to jail, the bitch brings in two of the worst guards causing Tara to fly into a rage at them. Triggered the rage just so they could take her exhausted for experiments after she had already raged.

Cure, what cure did Wendy use on Dr. Carter to help him heal faster, cold therapy taken to the extreme from how cold he felt possibly. Suspend her medical license and most likely losing it, just because she is a mutant. Ah, used an untested medical devise to save a patient and got caught. The Fools Fight requires all medical devises and gadgets be tested again to ensure complete safety, sounds like paranoia against anything made by a mutant to me.

I like her, would rather lose her license or go to jail than lose a patient or friend. Having to be reminded he isn't in the good fight alone, Dr. Carter has more allies than he realizes. Dang, flirting with him and something to make him feel young again, Wendy, you just saved him, don't give him a heart attack. Exemplar and shapeshifter as well, dang. Guessing based on how the MCO is in Gen 1 that tearing it down to rebuilt it failed, rats.

They left her for dead in her room after the "experiments"! If David hadn't come to check on her, she would have died. Dr. Brennan is a monster in the truest sense of the word. Rob shows up, finding her bandaged up with multiple IVs in her, yet 4 armed guards around her bed. Rob warns if anything happens that isn't for treatment purposes, he will have to get angry. The guards get twitchy, so the doctor ask Rob to leave.

Rob is dressing for war, saying he is going for a walk to Sonny and he will blast down the doors if they don't let him. Director waiting for him at the check out desk, implied threat against Rob and his friends by the Director, oh boy. Rob is going after Dr. Brennan to give her a taste of her own medicine.

Dr. Carter talking to Mallory about what is going on in the MCO. Great, anti-mutant and tow the MCO line or else for politicians, no wonder things got so bad in the 15 years to Gen 1. Great, bringing up Tara and many won't have sympathy for her due to the death of her family, already off to a bad start. Great, Mr. Giles case being seen as an open and shut case already, along with Dr. Carter's just being a violent mugging. Trying to get real evidence of the MCO's corruption, oh boy. Dr. Carter has his work cut out for him, while Franky is on the verge of murdering someone for what happened to Tara. Things are just getting worse.

Domoviye wrote: One problem with the second part, is keeping it from getting too bleak.

Honestly, I do not think that you have succeeded. Well-written, though.

Ahimsa wrote:

Domoviye wrote: One problem with the second part, is keeping it from getting too bleak.

Honestly, I do not think that you have succeeded. Well-written, though.

I agree wholeheartedly. If, for example, I were to write the story of the girl from Buffalo Gal (Sara Johnson - just a brief mention) who was 'disappeared', it wouldn't be a pleasant story. The talent on display here is taking a bleak subject and making it intensely personal with compelling yet tragic figures.

Happy End I think would be Dr. Carter and Mallory adopting the kids away from the MCO or something, but I don't think that'll happen.

Someone's likely to die I feel... Victor does Sacrifice, Tara ends MCO facility in Grief Rage... Rob perhaps also dies... Or he can Drive Tara via Sonics... Doc Breannan's cures are in Syringers that are turned against guards as they do bad things to baselines?

Yolandria wrote: Congrats Dom...You managed to get me not to finish a story on the first read through. P2 was sooo depressing. I wanted to help Tara sooooo bad.

AWESOME!!!!
I succeeded at making a mass murderer into a woobie!!!!

So did you eventually finish it?

Not yet...I'll get around to it some time tonight though. " Never give up...Never surrender!"

Kettlekorn wrote: Hmm. For a little while I was worried that the doctors treating Dr. Carter were in on the plot, actively working to keep him away from the facility rather than helping him recover. Looks like that's not the case, though. He was just that severely injured in the attack.

I'm glad that at least Ben got away. I wasn't sure they wouldn't find some excuse to prevent it. He's not in the clear yet, though. I wouldn't put it past these guys to arrange for some sort of accident to befall him and his family. Actually, that is my expectation; I'm hoping to be wrong. Sonny was calling Rob paranoid, but I don't think Rob is being paranoid enough.

They wanted to kill the doctor without making it look like an assassination. So no shooting him in the back and running away without the wallet. Best case scenario for the New MCO, Dr. Carter dies of his wounds. Second most likely scenario, Dr. Carter is so badly injured its weeks or months before he returns and is pumped so full of pain killers he can't do much of anything.

A pleasure as always to read your review, Dreamer.

Dreamer wrote: A Good Man Part 2 comments
They tried to drown him and would if his power hadn't flared up forcing the man to let go. Now calling him a genetic defect and saying the pool is for normal people, bunch of bigots. Saying that, but the thin black man being that strong and throwing Victor like that, how is he normal? Murderous psychopaths, the lot of them.

The thin black man was in the army, so while he may not look like a big beefy brawler, throwing a teenager who weighs maybe 140 or 150 pounds out of a pool and along a somewhat slippery floor into a wall isn't too difficult.

Dr. Carter in that bad of shape, trying to remember what happened before he woke up there. Good lore, a serial killer with low level warper to teleport things into the human body and using it that way, a nightmare.

I was aiming for nighmare fuel with that image. Biting someones face off, rape, torture, it's all been done. killing someone slowly in a public place with no one the wiser as you're drinking wine and enjoying a wonderful steak dinner, that's just creepy and horrifying.

Rob not wearing a shirt to mess with those uncomfortable by his appearance, anything to mess with the creeps that make up the majority now is a good thing. Six months until he gets his inheritance, betting the MCO isn't going to let him live that long if they can help it. Lights go out and we find out he has sonar more detailed than anything in nature or man made can do. Two guards trying to come beat him, not knowing about his sonar. Surrounding himself in silence, hitting them with an ear piercing squeal, harmonics to control them for a moment, dang, Rob is powerful with sonic manipulation.

Yes he is, but he has very clear limits. He just hasn't reached them yet. And this is why few of my characters ever get manipulation powers or vaguely defined powers, I will abuse them to the very limit for my mind is dark and twisty. And so far nothing he's done is anything that the sirens in Whateley have been shown doing, except maybe the sonar trick, but that's an obvious trick for a siren it would be silly to ignore it.

David alive, but hurting, Tara blaming herself for what happened. 3 broken ribs and bad bruising, because she had a rage incident they have her in that get-up, even though someone deliberately triggered it with a picture of Franky beaten up. Great, she thinks they should have just killed her, poor kid. Lets her out of the gear, gives her the key to leave, yet she drops it and breaks down, crying into David's arms. She wishes for everything to end, but can't bring herself to do it, meaning she really doesn't wish to die deep down.

I actually wasn't sure if I wanted this part in or not. Having David helping her commit suicide was a harsh one, but it seemed to fit his character. He's terrified of her, but he realizes she isn't a monster and sympathizes. Letting her choose what happens, next to fight through things or to end it all when she's so full of utter despair, was his way of being merciful almost.
That's also why he coughed to distract her for a second to see what happened.

Franky having to deal with the same thugs who beat him the other night. Fired the psychiatrist, this Director is way too obvious about his plotting against the mutants in the facility.

Why shouldn't he be, who's going to stop him?

Dr. Brennan has Tara so terrified, begging her not to hurt her, her rage dies down.

What can I say, the thought of having a rager so terrified of a person that the fear overrides the anger intrigued me.

Cure, what cure did Wendy use on Dr. Carter to help him heal faster, cold therapy taken to the extreme from how cold he felt possibly. Suspend her medical license and most likely losing it, just because she is a mutant. Ah, used an untested medical devise to save a patient and got caught. The Fools Fight requires all medical devises and gadgets be tested again to ensure complete safety, sounds like paranoia against anything made by a mutant to me.

It seemed reasonable to assume that in the heat of anti-mutant hysteria, things that had been accepted would suddenly be seen as dangerous and potentially deadly. Can't be too careful with dangerous mutants after all.

. Exemplar and shapeshifter as well, dang.

Nope Wendy is a level 3 exemplar and 3 devisor. The hat she put on is enchanted like Imps necklace (being a certified doctor and devisor focusing on medicine makes people owe you favours), to let her slip away unseen if she runs into trouble from bigots and others.

They left her for dead in her room after the "experiments"! If David hadn't come to check on her, she would have died. Dr. Brennan is a monster in the truest sense of the word.

You have no idea how many times I rewrote that scene and a few scenes before it. Lets just say that initially it was well into torture porn and even after I toned it down I had beta readers telling me a I was a sick and demented person. Finally I decided less was better. And the image of a young child crawling under the bed to hide from the monsters was really compelling.

Things are just getting worse.

And how.

Ahimsa wrote:

Domoviye wrote: One problem with the second part, is keeping it from getting too bleak.

Honestly, I do not think that you have succeeded. Well-written, though.

Would you believe this was toned down?
And I did avoid having Sonny running down the hallway and having his leg cut off by piano wire.
(Yes that was actually a scene I wrote, it was discarded soon after. )

elrodw wrote:

Ahimsa wrote:

Domoviye wrote: One problem with the second part, is keeping it from getting too bleak.

Honestly, I do not think that you have succeeded. Well-written, though.

I agree wholeheartedly. If, for example, I were to write the story of the girl from Buffalo Gal (Sara Johnson - just a brief mention) who was 'disappeared', it wouldn't be a pleasant story. The talent on display here is taking a bleak subject and making it intensely personal with compelling yet tragic figures.

Should I repost that MCO story I had up on the old forum with the psychic mother under the care of the MCO?
Just to let some people know what I consider bleak?

Malady wrote: Happy End I think would be Dr. Carter and Mallory adopting the kids away from the MCO or something, but I don't think that'll happen.

Someone's likely to die I feel... Victor does Sacrifice, Tara ends MCO facility in Grief Rage... Rob perhaps also dies... Or he can Drive Tara via Sonics... Doc Breannan's cures are in Syringers that are turned against guards as they do bad things to baselines?

Hey I can do happy endings. Maybe not in this story but I can do them.

Domoviye wrote:

Malady wrote: Happy End I think would be Dr. Carter and Mallory adopting the kids away from the MCO or something, but I don't think that'll happen.

Someone's likely to die I feel... Victor does Sacrifice, Tara ends MCO facility in Grief Rage... Rob perhaps also dies... Or he can Drive Tara via Sonics... Doc Breannan's cures are in Syringers that are turned against guards as they do bad things to baselines?

Hey I can do happy endings. Maybe not in this story but I can do them.

Of course you can, Dom.
You just keep listening to the voices telling you that...

What is it about how this story is set up that I feel like my guesses have a chance of being somewhat accurate? I guess 'cause we've seen most of the pieces so we can make guesses on how they'll interact instead of thinking that they characters will arrive... Well, that's what happens when you stick a story in an closed off location like the MCO facility, you see everyone that's part of the story. Like in Clue.

On Tara's Woobie Status: She was effectively possessed by Rage to kill her apparently loving family! And now is being tortured and medically experimented for it, where she might get possessed by her rage again and kill even more people she doesn't want to hurt! She's a great person with barely any control over her terrible circumstances! ... That's basically standard Woobie... But this is still great!

More wondering about Tara, 'cause I think she'll be real important to what happens next... Even if there's more than 3 parts... Does she get external energy while raging, so starvation wouldn't make her any weaker, and after a while, no restraints can hold her? Obviously a Class-3 Rager. But, like Rose, all my speculation is based on assuming that the characters' powers or their current state is gonna be important. Which might not be true...

Domoviye wrote: Victor: Manifestor (Fire) 3 Regeneration 3 (slow but very thorough)

Tara: Exemplar 4 Regeneration 3 (low end)
When raging Exemplar 5, Regeneration 5 (the regeneration typically lasts for up to fifteen minutes after the rage ends)
(When on the edge of a rage her regeneration is about 4 or 5, but that is incredibly dangerous to handle)

Victor: Right now, his Regen seems to be worthless for fueling his powers... How much fire can he make without having the burn outpace his Regen? Eww, but that's how he'll get constant fire... I don't think he can make his fire project without harming him??

Hmm... Inject Victor with Tara's Rager-form Blood to give him more Regen? The possibility of a Flaming Rager is terrifying! ... How much does the MCO know about Regen right now? ... Did Jobe or Dr. Gellmar actually just independently rediscover what the MCO already knew about Regen??

Why would they want to inject Victor with Tara's blood?
That would probably kill him or turn him into her clone.
Also even doctor Carter wants to weaken or eliminate the mutant powers. A power boost is kind of... sort of... the exact opposite of that goal.

Domoviye wrote: Why would they want to inject Victor with Tara's blood?
That would probably kill him or turn him into her clone.
Also even doctor Carter wants to weaken or eliminate the mutant powers. A power boost is kind of... sort of... the exact opposite of that goal.

Oh! So that's what they want! I guess I missed that 'cause it wasn't explicitly stated? Or was it?

I thought that Victor might get Tara's blood as an emergency measure?? Sounds silly now?

Anyway, if Tara's Rage-regen is gone, but her Raging isn't, she's a lot more vulnerable now... And that attempt to use her Raging to help heal her won't work... Waiting eagerly to find out in the next part...

Ok i finally made it through. And come to find out it wasn't as bad as i thought it was. Alot of things are starting to move in the kids's favor towards the end. Can't wait to see the final show down!

Malady wrote:

Domoviye wrote: Why would they want to inject Victor with Tara's blood?
That would probably kill him or turn him into her clone.
Also even doctor Carter wants to weaken or eliminate the mutant powers. A power boost is kind of... sort of... the exact opposite of that goal.

Oh! So that's what they want! I guess I missed that 'cause it wasn't explicitly stated? Or was it?

I thought that Victor might get Tara's blood as an emergency measure?? Sounds silly now?

Anyway, if Tara's Rage-regen is gone, but her Raging isn't, she's a lot more vulnerable now... And that attempt to use her Raging to help heal her won't work... Waiting eagerly to find out in the next part...

Dr Carter's research was stated in part 1, but it's been a while so forgetting it is ok.
With Tara after raging her body is extremely weak, that includes her regeneration. She'll still heal but it's only on the edge of being impossible. That's why she was able to survive until David found her. The doctors are simply waiting until her body has recovered enough to induce a rage that will heal her completely in one shot, rather than risking complications by waiting several days as her healing powers try to knit her broken body back together.

Yolandria wrote: Ok i finally made it through. And come to find out it wasn't as bad as i thought it was. Alot of things are starting to move in the kids's favor towards the end. Can't wait to see the final show down!

I'm not totally heartless. Glad you finished it and can see that I'm trying to put some of the odds in the kids favour, not that they're anywhere near out of the woods yet. The light at the end of the tunnel may possibly be a flamethrower attached to a train.

And I love your signature.

Yeah i couldn't resist! Besides i know how bad you can be so some one has to stand up for her! =)

WMG: Rager Tara is original Tara, calm Tara is split personality... Raging is Omnipath or something being exposed to MCO's high rage/anti-mutant environment...

That all requires the silliness of presuming Dom's given ratings are a lie...

I'm at a loss for words with this theory.

It could be worse... Jade could have time traveled back into the past and stuck Tara into a Radioactive Condor girl suit.

Domoviye wrote: I'm at a loss for words with this theory.

Yeah. It's a pretty out there theory, trying to cover all my bases with the theorizing, reminded sort of with Guest of the MCO, and inspired by Rosario+Vampire...

Is this point in time the bottom of the MCO's anti-mutantness? At least overtly? As, if Absinthe is the same, Gen1 MCO is willing to hire mutants...

So, we haven't seen Victor's parents yet, we still don't know what they think? Maybe his brother will mutate? Or he is too old? His rant is a very emotionally charged scene. If Victor deliberately uses his fire against anyone, it means he's willing to possibly inflict such

Malady wrote:

Domoviye wrote: I'm at a loss for words with this theory.

Yeah. It's a pretty out there theory, trying to cover all my bases with the theorizing, reminded sort of with Guest of the MCO, and inspired by Rosario+Vampire...

Is this point in time the bottom of the MCO's anti-mutantness? At least overtly? As, if Absinthe is the same, Gen1 MCO is willing to hire mutants...

So, we haven't seen Victor's parents yet, we still don't know what they think? Maybe his brother will mutate? Or he is too old? His rant is a very emotionally charged scene. If Victor deliberately uses his fire against anyone, it means he's willing to possibly inflict such

I cannot and will not say if this is the low point for anti-mutant behaviour with the MCO. I don't want to have someone else do one between 1991 and 2006 and have people saying that the MCO is being too nice or too evil. So discuss and guess away, I'll silently read it with interest.
I wasn't sure if the rant fit or not. Unlike a lot of my stories, I was second guessing myself a lot. I don't think the rant or his brother came out of the blue, but it was something I really wasn't sure would work or not. Thanks for letting me know it worked.

... Hurt someone like that again... Well at least I didn't triple-post...

Selection thing that ended up excluding Tara is nice info-thing. Talks about need for good optics/spokesmutant. Ref to Respectability Politics and/or something like Rosa Parks and her lesser known predecessors.

Kristin Darken wrote: Up to the Gen 2 crew how much they want to reveal about the intervening years and that bit of backstory. It's not pretty. And I don't think any of us really want to write it... that sort of dark isn't fun to delve into.

Please - don't put such a challenge, real or implied, in front of Astrodragon. We're apt to see him take that as a dare to see how dark he can make the MCO 'brutality' story

Hey, I resemble that remark!

And my stories arent that dark...really..yet, anyway...
I just dont want Dom to feel lonely...

Although at least one of the Magic Cults I'm using makes the US MCO look like a bunch of choirboys.

elrodw wrote:

Kristin Darken wrote: Up to the Gen 2 crew how much they want to reveal about the intervening years and that bit of backstory. It's not pretty. And I don't think any of us really want to write it... that sort of dark isn't fun to delve into.

Please - don't put such a challenge, real or implied, in front of Astrodragon. We're apt to see him take that as a dare to see how dark he can make the MCO 'brutality' story

Should I take this as a challenge? I haven't really stretched my horror muscles in a while.

And Astrodragon you're welcome to come on down, there's plenty of room to hide the bodies down here.

Domoviye wrote:

elrodw wrote:

Kristin Darken wrote: Up to the Gen 2 crew how much they want to reveal about the intervening years and that bit of backstory. It's not pretty. And I don't think any of us really want to write it... that sort of dark isn't fun to delve into.

Please - don't put such a challenge, real or implied, in front of Astrodragon. We're apt to see him take that as a dare to see how dark he can make the MCO 'brutality' story

Should I take this as a challenge? I haven't really stretched my horror muscles in a while.

And Astrodragon you're welcome to come on down, there's plenty of room to hide the bodies down here.

*hits Domo with anime mallet* Bad Domo, no encouraging Astro like that. I'm sure Astro can come up with enough scary and dark stuff by themself.

Thank you Domoviye for this second part.

I think what I like the most about this story is that we KNOW that something will go terribly wrong, and that we are waiting for this moment when the pin will drop. Obviously the situation is already tense, but at each scene I am wondering "is this it ? Is it the right moment ?".

I will schedule some time to read your other stories (outside the whateley Universe, I think I have read most of those, or at least the featured whatif on the website).