Question How slow is the forum today?

The forum is so slow today that if Caesar were to visit, he'd say "I came, I saw, I got bored".

elrodw wrote: The forum is so slow today that if Caesar were to visit, he'd say "I came, I saw, I got bored".

It's so slow that I went from birth to death just reading this.

The site is so quiet that even the crickets fell asleep from boredom!

The outer deeps of space is by far louder than this place.

So quiet that the Imp has decided that she has an obligation to liven things up. Now, where did she put the devisor glue and itching powder?

Meh I've seen slower.

Even the Joker couldn't liven this place up.

How about a wild Aquerna sighting to make things more interesting?

cprime wrote: How about a wild Aquerna sighting to make things more interesting?

Is that the sound of a heartbeat?

It's so slow even waiting around in court to legalese seems interesting.

It's so slow that the famous hare took an even longer nap and still won the race against it.

Domoviye wrote: It's so slow even waiting around in court to legalese seems interesting.

It's so slow I took to listening to a Lawyer talk.

Its so slow - The Hour hand beat the Second hand while the Minute hand watched.

It's so slow even Relativity gave up.

It is so slow that snails look like Quicksilver in comparison.

its so slow here

it makes teamsters on a movie set, look like a NASCAR pit crew!

The forum is so slow today:

that Ebon Flow is moving normally in comparison...

The forum is so slow today glaciers were seen passing it.

The forum is so slow scientists are using it to preserve humanity.

It's so slow, even the DMV can keep up.

The forum is so slow -Kristin is renting it out to Groceries to preserve food. Selling Time Share with NASA to conduct quantum physics.

Willing to rent it out to those unable to afford cryogenics.

The forum is so slow I watched the expansion - death - and rebirth of the Universe.

The forum is less active than a contraceptive shop at a convent...

The forum is so slow Bart Simpson grew up and had a family.

I wonder if everyone's talking on one of the subspace channels... (PMs, Shouts, IRC, etc)

Anybody want to join me in watching some paint dry?

Normally Valentine I'd be all for it, unfortunately I'd already promised to go watch the grass grow.

Valentine wrote: Anybody want to join me in watching some paint dry?

I'm sorry but I'm on my 4th coat.

And Phoenix get off my lawn your bending the blades.

Valentine wrote: Anybody want to join me in watching some paint dry?

Too late, there's already a YouTube video about it:

Pfft. There is movement on the back half of the site. Elrod is just too lazy to look there. Or maybe the slowness of the rest of the site lulled him to sleep....

I've decided I'll watch a Redwood grow from acorn to its fullest height.

If you found this video scintillating, she's working her way down from 9:99, and has gotten to 9:67 so far.

As slow as Powers Theory.

Ayla and the New School wrote: Powers Theory wasn’t nearly as interesting as meeting four hotties in cheerleader uniforms. Actually, it wasn’t nearly as interesting as watching paint dry. When Filbert wasn’t demonstrating something of interest to him, the class was chapter and verse out of either the textbook or one of two other powers theory books he had written.

Everyone must be prepping for the end of the world.

Valentine wrote: Everyone must be prepping for the end of the world.

something like that it would seem. definitely been quiet all day...

I've seen the rest of the penguins from penguin team 6 gearing up. Something big and plausibly deniable is no doubt about to go down!

well when you have the slower release cycle, and make the whatif non forum based you gotta expect to have forums so slow an electron orbiting a nucleus takes 30 minutes in comparison. ::

Are you aware of the coffee scale.

1. Slow enough that you can drink a cup of coffee while waiting.

2. Slow enough that you can brew a fresh pot of coffee, then drink a cup.

3. Slow enough that you can go to the store, get a bag of beans, grind them, brew a fresh pot and then drink a cup.

4. Slow enough that you can run the beans through a roaster, grind them, brew a fresh pot, and then drink a cup.

5. Slow enough that you can go to South America to pick up the beans, then run them through a roaster, grind them, brew a fresh pot, and then drink a cup.

6. Slow enough that you can plant seeds, let them grow, harvest them, and then go through the other parts mentioned above.

7. Slow enough that you can clear the ground for a plantation, plant the seeds, etc.

There may be additional stages, but they require multiple generations as no individual can live long enough to complete the tasks involved.

The Flash supervillain The Turtle shows up and sees how slow the forum is. "Darn it! I can't compete with that." Walks off in a huff.

Naldru wrote: Are you aware of the coffee scale.

1. Slow enough that you can drink a cup of coffee while waiting.

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.
.

7. Slow enough that you can clear the ground for a plantation, plant the seeds, etc.

12. Slow enough that the coastal plain beneath a fault line experiences geological upthrust from continental drift into mountains which erode sufficiently to make the soil fertile enough for coffee beans to evolve.

elrodw wrote:

Naldru wrote: Are you aware of the coffee scale.

1. Slow enough that you can drink a cup of coffee while waiting.

.
.
.

7. Slow enough that you can clear the ground for a plantation, plant the seeds, etc.

12. Slow enough that the coastal plain beneath a fault line experiences geological upthrust from continental drift into mountains which erode sufficiently to make the soil fertile enough for coffee beans to evolve.

20. Slow enough for the dust and rocks to form a disk around the sun and accrete into a planet that will eventually sustain coffee plants.

Valentine wrote:

elrodw wrote:

Naldru wrote: Are you aware of the coffee scale.

1. Slow enough that you can drink a cup of coffee while waiting.

.
.
.

7. Slow enough that you can clear the ground for a plantation, plant the seeds, etc.

12. Slow enough that the coastal plain beneath a fault line experiences geological upthrust from continental drift into mountains which erode sufficiently to make the soil fertile enough for coffee beans to evolve.

20. Slow enough for the dust and rocks to form a disk around the sun and accrete into a planet that will eventually sustain coffee plants.

NOTE TO SELF:

do not go to that planet until AFTER it has coffee.

They don't count as planets UNLESS they have coffee...

Astrodragon wrote: They don't count as planets UNLESS they have coffee...

They don't count as planets if they make dark roast coffee and destroy the caffeine coffee is supposed to have.



raw coffee beans, most caffeine least flavor, burnt ( dark roast ) most flavor least caffeine. This is because caffeine is destroyed by heat.
( espresso, lattes, cappuccinos, americanos are all decaf due to dark roast beans and STEAM not pulling any caffeine out of the grounds, the steam actually destroying the remnants of caffeine in the grounds before it condenses into the liquid tar. )

Valentine wrote:

elrodw wrote:

Naldru wrote: Are you aware of the coffee scale.

1. Slow enough that you can drink a cup of coffee while waiting.

.
.
.

7. Slow enough that you can clear the ground for a plantation, plant the seeds, etc.

12. Slow enough that the coastal plain beneath a fault line experiences geological upthrust from continental drift into mountains which erode sufficiently to make the soil fertile enough for coffee beans to evolve.

20. Slow enough for the dust and rocks to form a disk around the sun and accrete into a planet that will eventually sustain coffee plants.

23. There's nothing. Then instantaneously a point of superheated light which explodes outward filling the nothing with massive amounts of energy and matter (and some thing superstrings!) Coffee will take a bit ...

Dawnfyre wrote: They don't count as planets if they make dark roast coffee and destroy the caffeine coffee is supposed to have.

raw coffee beans, most caffeine least flavor, burnt ( dark roast ) most flavor least caffeine. This is because caffeine is destroyed by heat.
( espresso, lattes, cappuccinos, americanos are all decaf due to dark roast beans and STEAM not pulling any caffeine out of the grounds, the steam actually destroying the remnants of caffeine in the grounds before it condenses into the liquid tar. )

Bah. Philistine. If all you want from coffee is the caffeine, just pop a No-Doz pill or something. It probably has as much taste as the raw Robusta beans you seem to prefer.

Also, check your math. Espresso is actually about three times stronger than traditional American-style (that is, watery) drip or percolated coffee. It's just that the servings are much smaller, so you end up getting less caffeine per serving.
Source: Wikipedia

Which is why your coffee machine should be temperature-controlled not to reach too high a temperature.

elrodw wrote:

Valentine wrote:

elrodw wrote:

Naldru wrote: Are you aware of the coffee scale.

1. Slow enough that you can drink a cup of coffee while waiting.

.
.
.

7. Slow enough that you can clear the ground for a plantation, plant the seeds, etc.

12. Slow enough that the coastal plain beneath a fault line experiences geological upthrust from continental drift into mountains which erode sufficiently to make the soil fertile enough for coffee beans to evolve.

20. Slow enough for the dust and rocks to form a disk around the sun and accrete into a planet that will eventually sustain coffee plants.

23. There's nothing. Then instantaneously a point of superheated light which explodes outward filling the nothing with massive amounts of energy and matter (and some thing superstrings!) Coffee will take a bit ...

In this ideology should we refer to this as "The Big Brew"?