Question Nature Fierce and Beautiful

Nikki came back from modeling, looking like she was mad enough to turn someone into a slug. Or a malpractice lawyer. Whichever was lower in the evolutionary tree. Toni rushed over to get the down-low, and pretty soon Billie and I were in there too.

And it was a juicy story, too.

Nikki ranted, “So I’m wearing nothing but these leaves. I’d had an actual outfit earlier, but the photographer suddenly wants to go all artistic. I mean, what do I know about this stuff? So he’s talked me down to just my underwear…”

Wow. I’d love to know how to talk uber-babes like Nikki out of their clothes. But I didn’t say that out loud, of course.

“Luckily I’d worn a beige set that was pretty close to skin color – and I’m draped around this tree and I’m supposed to be smiling like I’ve just swallowed the universe’s best chocolate malt…”

Oh yeah. I could envision that. And I was willing to bet serious money that the photographer had been thinking of Nikki swallowing something very different from a chocolate malt.

“And he’s placing the leaves on me. ‘Artistically’ he says. And just as he’s at the camera, ready to take the shot, what happens?”

“The wind,” Toni guessed, snickering.

Oh my God. I could see that in my mind’s eye. I was imagining it way too clearly. I was going to have to leave the room if I couldn’t keep my flagpole under control.

“Damn right! But he’s already shooting! And does he stop? Hell no! So I stand up to go stomping up to him, but that makes it even worse, of course. So I do my thing, you know.” She waggled her fingers. “And pull up a bit of wind. If there’s going to be wind around, it had better be doing what I want it to do! So I pick up the leaves, ‘cause they’re about the only covering there, and they’re swirling around me like a little dust devil, hiding what you better believe is supposed to be hidden! And – I don’t know – I guess I’ve got a pretty fierce expression on. That’s what the other girls told me afterward.”