Question Things Found in the Whateley Lost and Found

I imagine we'd find a few things of this nature...


It doesn't show the image so click link to see...

The Handbook of Sithly Behavior by Darth Sadist. You get the feeling it is looking at you expectantly.

Also, did anyone make the connection between the poncho and hat, and a recent one of my micro-scenes? Anyone?

Schol-R-LEA wrote: A woman's Stetson hat and a cloth poncho fitted for a teenager. The poncho is enchanted to enable the wearer to fly; just watch out for any hostile roaches.

Property of Marandi Sjörokker AKA Spindrifter , who was the Distressed Damsel of the Spiderman graphic novel Hooky . The book itself is meh - a solid if predictable story, art that fits the story but makes Peter look awful when he's in costume - but the character had potential. Sadly, she never showed up again except in a few editions of the Marvel Universe guide.



The poncho was originally a flying cloak, but she thought that was boring, and so sometime in the early 1970s she turned it into a poncho - she'd had a bit of a crush on Clint Eastwood at the time and was a huge fan of spaghetti westerns.

That reminds me: I still have an outstanding one that's more than three weeks old. So....

Sir Lee wrote: A black Audi R8 with Mexican plates. Behind the seat there is a briefcase with one million dollars, cash.

That comes from Sleethr's and Draflow's story She of the Jade Skirt . The car and money originally belonged to a drug lord (the villain of the story), but their fate was not shown on camera by the story's end. It's assumed that a minor villain got to it... if he escaped the final confrontation alive, and nobody decided to pinch that sweet ride before he got there.

Alright, reveals:

The cube with the lovely green interior is an alien artifact being studied at Zone 91 (an Area 51 expy). The horse scent is from when the Yeerks and Animorphs both infested/morphed wild horses from a nearby herd and "wandered" into the base together in book 14. The Yeerks were as clueless as the humans studying the thing, but Ax recognized it as a modular waste disposal system from an Andalite Dome Ship -- essentially a disposable toilet. They're normally jettisoned into a star when full, but this one got caught by Earth's gravity and ended up in a lab.

The puppet is Lil' Cal from Homestuck . That's all I'm going to say about that, because spoilers. Just go read Homestuck. Yes, I know it looks at first glance like the raving doodles of a hyperactive brain damaged eight year old. Don't be fooled. It is amazing. It's kind of like Alice in Wonderland, but if Alice in Wonderland was actually good. Maybe you think that Alice in Wonderland is good. That's because you haven't read Homestuck yet, so you don't have a frame of reference. I used to think that Hungry Jack "pancake syrup" was good, but then I tried real maple syrup, and I saw the sticky Canadian light. Reading Homestuck is like that. The sticky part. It's not Canadian. But it should be.

Speaking of Canadians, the chameleon is Mr. Bojangles from the wonderful webcomic Kukuburi , which has unfortunately been on hiatus for five or six years. The most recent message on the website, saying it will be back soon, is only a few months old, so that's a good sign at least. There's an email subscription thing for more information, but it sounds like it involves "sneak peaks" and I'm spoiler-averse, so I'm not doing that. He doesn't currently have the site set up to permit browsing the archive in a convenient way, but the actual comic files that were previously published are still accessible via directory listing (they're the ones in the format YYYY-MM-DD-kukuburi.jpg). It's a bit awkward to read that way since they're just image files, no comic system with links between pages, but it's better than nothing until he gets around to re-opening. I recommend it if you haven't already read this one. I mean, just look at this skeleton . You know you want him.

The unusual gem in the small chest is one of the Stones of Barenziah, of which there are 24 scattered throughout Skyrim. I haven't actually finished that quest yet. I should do that sometime.

The shoes belong to Knuckles the Echidna from the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise. Knuckles was always my favorite character since he was red and could climb things. (Red used to be my favorite color. Nowadays I like green more. But Knuckles turned green for a few years in the comics, so it's all good!)

The drone is a construction robot from the game Factorio. They make life a lot easier once you unlock them, because they let you use blueprints to place multiple structures at once, and then the robots will go out and fetch the parts from your chests and assemble it for you. If you have repair packs in the chests, they'll also repair any damaged structures, and if anything gets destroyed entirely, they'll replace it with any spares you have. They also fly in as direct a path as their batteries will allow and will happily blunder right into the middle of a nest of hostile aliens if your perimeter has concavities. (If words and phrases like "optimization," "logistics network," "train network," "pumpjack," "conveyor belt," "steam turbine," "black start," "throughput," and "my tank has a flamethrower" give you the tingles in your special places, you should check out Factorio.)

It just occurred to me that I never explained this one, nor did anyone answer it:

A dorm refrigerator containing several bottles of white wine, and two boxes of fudge pudding pops. It seems to stay cool even though there is no power cord.

I'll give it one more go.

OK, looks like I didn't get an answer, or provide one, for this one either.

Schol-R-LEA wrote: A 160 cm long staff, covered in odd runes and what appear to be glowing green gems embedded in it. It has a 15 cm long elongated octahedral headpiece, such that it resembles a stylized diamond (as in the card suit) from the side. When examined, the 'runes' proved to be extremely elaborate nano-circuitry of unknown purpose. It seems to cause distortions in spacetime when held.

Oh, and look out for the dragon.

A strip of an odd, plastic-like paper. Printed on it are the words, "Vous allez adorer Virginia vingt et une minutes de plus".

(And yes, I used Google Translate for that. However, the fact that it is a machine translation is actually something of a clue - it is probably a better translation than the one in the original, really.)

A wooden crate with a blurred label of which only a picture of a stringed instrument can be made out, and a pink post-it note with the words "#1 Kissboy" written in purple ink. Inside, there are several rubber erasers, a random assortment of makeup kits, and broken chains with pink metal valentine hearts welded to them.

Any guesses for any of these? I get the impression that @IWasForger03 caught the joke in the last one, but since they didn't actually explain it, it is still unanswered - and I am hoping for a pretty detailed explanation for that one. Conversely, for another of these, saying where it is from is sufficient, though more details might be of interest.

• The Handbook of Sithly Behavior by Darth Sadist. You get the feeling it is looking at you expectantly.


• A dorm refrigerator containing several bottles of white wine, and two boxes of fudge pudding pops. It seems to stay cool even though there is no power cord.


• A 160 cm long staff, covered in odd runes and what appear to be glowing green gems embedded in it. It has a 15 cm long elongated octahedral headpiece, such that it resembles a stylized diamond (as in the card suit) from the side. When examined, the 'runes' proved to be extremely elaborate nano-circuitry of unknown purpose. It seems to cause distortions in spacetime when held. Oh, and look out for the dragon.


• A strip of an odd, plastic-like paper. Printed on it are the words, "Vous allez adorer Virginia vingt et une minutes de plus".


• A wooden crate with a blurred label of which only a picture of a stringed instrument can be made out, and a pink post-it note with the words "#1 Kissboy" written in purple ink. Inside, there are several rubber erasers, a random assortment of makeup kits, and broken chains with pink metal valentine hearts welded to them.

Last hint: One of them is from an author I have mentioned several times already, probably the least well known of the classic Grandmasters of SF. The story in question is oft-referenced but few have actually read it.

It's useful to pay attention to the weather forecast when you travel Cordwainer Smith's "Alpha Ralpha Boulevard".

Yep. Bring a windbreaker, and be careful - that last step is a doozy.

Ah, well, such is love - at least when you aren't sure if it was programming into you or not.

Well, I don't really recognizer any of them, but the refrigerator thing reminded me of another thing in the Lost & Found...

A very expensive sound system, the kind that is so sophisticated that it has only two controls -- the power button and the volume button. It plays music in the highest fidelity you have ever heard -- despite lacking any speakers.

OK, so Null0Trooper got the piece of paper, any guesses on the others?

I probably should mention that I referred to the series two of these are from in the New Arrivals sub-board yesterday. I expect that this hint might help.

OK, I'll answer this one to start:

A dorm refrigerator containing several bottles of white wine, and two boxes of fudge pudding pops. It seems to stay cool even though there is no power cord.

Puddy's dorm fridge from Tales of MU . Like all of the modern conveniences of that world, it runs on magic.

Let me get the punny one out of the way next.

A wooden crate with a blurred label of which only a picture of a stringed instrument can be made out, and a pink post-it note with the words "#1 Kissboy" written in purple ink. Inside, there are several rubber erasers, a random assortment of makeup kits, and broken chains with pink metal valentine hearts welded to them.

It's Lute Crate, presumably one purchased by Jim Fucking Sterling, Son (who has been carping about loot boxes since they first started showing up in games). It includes Erasure's "Chains of Love" (a song Sterling uses to twist YouTube's Content ID system up in knots whenever he thinks one of the clips he's using of is likely to be flagged) alongside the makeup kits because, as he keeps pointing out, Lute Crates are More Than Just Cosmetics.

Well, since nobody appears to have figured it out, let me give the solution...

Sir Lee wrote: A very expensive sound system, the kind that is so sophisticated that it has only two controls -- the power button and the volume button. It plays music in the highest fidelity you have ever heard -- despite lacking any speakers.

It's Crowley's sound system from Gaiman & Pratchett's "Good Omens."

> A 160 cm long staff, covered in odd runes and what appear to be glowing green gems embedded in it. It has a 15 cm long elongated octahedral headpiece, such that it resembles a stylized diamond (as in the card suit) from the side. When examined, the 'runes' proved to be extremely elaborate nano-circuitry of unknown purpose. It seems to cause distortions in spacetime when held. Oh, and look out for the dragon.

The Staff of Time , from Umlaut House 2.

For those unfamiliar with it, the second series didn't get very far,
which is a shame.

Also, this . Which relates back to a storyline in the original series,



which in turn explains why he had the device Volair Lee tripped in an earlier strip.





EDIT: @&$@! limit on the number of links...

Finally, for those who aren't familiar with the series, the Handbook of Sithly Behavior is from the Sith Academy fanfic stories. It is a pretty over the top shared-universe series that ran from 1999 to 2002, and basically was about Darth Maul as Sidious' apprentice, which in the stories meant he was somewhere between a gofer, a grad student, and a chew toy. The first few stories emphasized the "bunch of menial crap" Palpatine put Maul through, but at the same time, presented the Jedi as figures of ridicule - Obi-Wan, Maul's next door neighbor, was a whiny but painfully upbeat twink in a thoroughly co-dependent relationship with Qui-Gon, who was a dizzy new-age hippie but also quick to abuse his Force mind-control powers to avoid getting blamed for his mistakes. Of all the Jedi, only Yoda realizes that Palpatine and his oddly-tattooed ward are Sith, and even he doesn't actually do anything about it.

This took a really weird turn later when Maul and Obi-Wan became an item, despite the fact that Obi-Wan was still involved with Qui-Gon. Meanwhile, Maul is endlessly tormenting Obi-Wan with tricks which Obi-Wan is too dense to notice (it later comes out that Obi-Wan was being stuffed to the gills with a prescription mood altering drug called Perkium) and plotting to overthrow Sidious. It gets stranger still when the truth about Obi-Wan's familial ties get revealed.

The Handbook is mentioned repeatedly from early on, but didn't actually show up in-story until "How Maul Spent Winter Break", which opens with this:

At 3:04 a.m. on December 11, Darth Maul transferred his last perforated, but unbroken No. 2 pencil from the clutch of his left hand to the even more destructive grip of his gnarled teeth. With 5 kilos of book balanced precariously on his knees, he ran a finger down the index of his much-thumbed, more-glossed, most-hurled copy of the Handbook of Sithly Behavior. He skimmed the subject headings, red letters on black pages.

Date each other, Sith do not . . .

Directions, Sith do not ask for . . .

Karaoke, Sith do not sing . . .

Pastels, Sith do not wear. See also Polyester and Bellbottoms....

"I have you now!" His finger stabbed one of the few unfamiliar entries on the page.

Religious Holidays, Sith do not observe.

The pencil crunched like peanut brittle as Maul swore, simultaneously hurling the Handbook against the opposite wall, which from previous impacts, already resembled the cratered surface of a moon. He watched with hatred as the book slid undamaged to the floor, denying him the satisfaction of so much as denting one of his master's favorite instruments of torture. The damned thing had proven as invulnerable as its editor, Darth Sadist. Sidious had not given him a book at the start of his apprenticeship; Sidious had given him the published carte noire for every humiliating, tasteless, stomach-heaving exercise a senior Sith Lord could conceive. A third of the Handbook Maul had memorized outright. The rest was being seared into his memory by experience and smug quotation, which was worse.

"Someday I will rise up and contradict you," Maul muttered, flopping back onto the sofa, "and I will be correct."

Out of the corner of his smoldering yellow eye he saw the Handbook sit up, lean its spine saucily against the wall, then riffle its pages, creating a buzzing sound like a raspberry. In an instant Maul's lightsaber flew across the room and ignited in his grip. But the book only chortled evilly, then shut its covers with a bang. It was indestructible while closed and incontrovertible while open. Few things were more annoying, and one of them was his master, whose last visit had left him in his current state of misery.

Maul eventually gets the better of the evil tome starting at the end of that story, and even feeds it a narcotic in "Maul Makes Peace (and a Chocolate Soufflé)" that causes it to add some inventively obscene nursery rhymes to its pages.

Other things lost and found:

- A red bow tie, quite old
- A potato with intricate circuitry
- A tablet computer with 'DON'T PANIC' written on the back in large, friendly, and easy-to-read letters
- A old Dungeons and Dragons rulebook with 'Property of Will Byers' written on the back
- A blue pill
- A red pill
- 242 cigarettes with 'Blue Lady' written on them
- A broken wand with a phoenix feather core
- A set of WWII Captain America vintage trading cards with blood all over them
- A Infinite stepladder
- A DVD boxset of the 6th Live Action star trek series, heavily defaced and filled with cow defecation (Frakkin STD)
- A futuristic helmet covered in scratches with 'Nerve Gear' written on it.
- A pair of red-tinted sunglasses broken in half
- A smashed Sony Walkman with attached headphones
- A glass fishbowl with the sentence 'So long, and thanks for all the fish' etched into it. When tapped, and held to a ear, a message plays in the language of whoever is holding it to their ear.
- A multicoloured woollen scarf
- A walking cane which doubles as a grappling hook and a flare gun
- A set of keys for a Aston Martin DB5 with a tag reading 'James. B"
- A glass cylinder with a desert flower inside
- A chevron-shaped badge with a star-shaped hole through it
- A copy of 'How to get more Girls Through Hypnosis'
- A small lump of green putty that smells suspiciously of the armpit sweat you work up on a summer morning

-

CrazyMinh wrote: Other things lost and found:

- A red bow tie, quite old
- A potato with intricate circuitry
- A tablet computer with 'DON'T PANIC' written on the back in large, friendly, and easy-to-read letters
- A old Dungeons and Dragons rulebook with 'Property of Will Byers' written on the back
- A blue pill
- A red pill
- 242 cigarettes with 'Blue Lady' written on them
- A broken wand with a phoenix feather core
- A set of WWII Captain America vintage trading cards with blood all over them
- A Infinite stepladder
- A DVD boxset of the 6th Live Action star trek series, heavily defaced and filled with cow defecation (Frakkin STD)
- A futuristic helmet covered in scratches with 'Nerve Gear' written on it.
- A pair of red-tinted sunglasses broken in half
- A smashed Sony Walkman with attached headphones
- A glass fishbowl with the sentence 'So long, and thanks for all the fish' etched into it. When tapped, and held to a ear, a message plays in the language of whoever is holding it to their ear.
- A multicoloured woollen scarf
- A walking cane which doubles as a grappling hook and a flare gun
- A set of keys for a Aston Martin DB5 with a tag reading 'James. B"
- A glass cylinder with a desert flower inside
- A chevron-shaped badge with a star-shaped hole through it
- A copy of 'How to get more Girls Through Hypnosis'
- A small lump of green putty that smells suspiciously of the armpit sweat you work up on a summer morning
-

Hmm, many of them are quite easy, let me see...
1. Does that belong to the Doctor or perhaps to Bill Nye, the Science Guy?
2. The temporary housing of GLaDOS
3. The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy itself
4. From Stranger Things
5 and 6. From The Matrix
7. Item 013 (SCP-013) in the vaults of the SCP Foundation
8. Voldemort's wand
9. Agent Phil Coulson's cards, from The Avengers movie
10. ??? no idea
11. Could belong to any number of people, really. Not that they will miss it.
12. From the anime Sword Art Online, I'm given to understand (never watched it)
13. Does it belong to a certain Scott Summers?
14. Hey, you found it! I have been looking for it for ages! Now if I only still had some cassette tapes...
15. This must have come from the HHGTTG series, but I can't really place it.
16. The Fourth Doctor
17. "If found, please return to Matt Murdock at Nelson & Murdock, Attorneys at Law"
18. Bond. James Bond.
19. Hmmm... Best I can think of is Doctor Freeze.
20. "Enterprise, two to beam up."
21. What? Those Youtube douchebags managed to sell one of those?
22. Either a sample of Flubber, or the subject of some Vogon poetry

- A glass fishbowl with the sentence 'So long, and thanks for all the fish' etched into it. When tapped, and held to a ear, a message plays in the language of whoever is holding it to their ear.

One does wonder how many of these the dolphins and whales left for the people of the reconstituted Earth. We know that Arthur Dent and Fenchurch each got one, and Wonko the Sane did too, but there were probably others who received them as well.

- A potato with intricate circuitry

I was assuming that it was the experiment Tedd Verres was performing after Grace's birthday party to try and regain his mad scientist mojo. However, I am guessing that Sir Lee is right.

Anyway, here's a new one (though I've mentioned it before): a wooden box, cold to the touch, with elaborate Nordic symbols carved into it. It appears to have been hastily repaired with Krazy Glue. The lock on it seems pretty sturdy.

I hope that I have this one right. I only know the story second-hand from a filk song.
Several dead insects under a bell jar. The pattern on their wings, while meant to impress and honor, was deemed inappropriate by one whose view of certain STEM fields mirrored Joe Wilkins'.

Schol-R-LEA wrote: I hope that I have this one right. I only know the story second-hand from a filk song.
Several dead insects under a bell jar. The pattern on their wings, while meant to impress and honor, was deemed inappropriate by one whose view of certain STEM fields mirrored Joe Wilkins'.

Not the butter bugs designed to bear the Vorkosigan livery? ("A Civil Campaign: A Comedy of Biology and Manners")

Yes. As I said, I really only know the story from the song "Butter Bug Blues" , and a few things I have picked up about the series elsewhere. I don't know how it actually went in the story, though, as I haven't read any of the books; I have meant to for a while but never got around to it. I did just buy Shards of Honor, to start off with, but it will probably be a while before I get to A Civil Campaign, if ever.

EDIT: and now I found out that Bujold herself apparently recommends starting with Dreamweaver's Dilemma and Falling Free; so, back the the Kindle store!

Sir lee was right about most things. The infinite stepladder comes from the book series by James Dashner called The Mortality Doctrine; the walking cane was actually Roman Torchwick's from RWBY; the cassette player was from the second Guardians of the Galaxy movie, the bow tie was the 11th Doctors (matt smith rules!!!), the hypnosis one is a book on Rimmer's bookshelf in Red Dwarf, the glass cylinder was from Mobile Suit Gundam 00 and while the putty is mentioned in terrible poetry it's actually Grunthos the Flatulent's poetry. As said by the HHGTTG wiki:

"Grunthos the Flatulent was the poetmaster of the Azgoths of Kria, writers of the second worst poetry in the universe, coming between the third, the Vogons, and the first, Paul Neil Milne Johnstone."

Other than that, everything else was correct

Here's some more

- A plastic card resembling a ID with 'Multipass' written on it
- A brown fedora, aged and well-loved
- A Karambit knife with the name 'S. Fisher' etched into the handle
- A spherical hand grenade the size of a bowling ball with a cross sticking out of the top, anointed in holy water and oils
- A singed numberplate with 'OUTATIME' as the ID
- A character sheet with 'Sir Osric the Chased' written on it. It is for a 4th edition D&D paladin
- A blue and yellow jumpsuit with 111 on the back
- A Winchester rifle, covered in zombie blood
- A strange pistol-like tool with a rotating front section that emits three blue targeting beams
- A long, squarish rifle coloured ochre with a rotating bolt on the sides closest to to the tip, and two seperate magazines (one power pack, one circular ammo magazine)
- A baseball bat with 'Wonder Boy' written on it
- A pair of hollowed-out coconut shell halves

- A brown fedora, aged and well-loved

Is it slightly radioactive, or did the refrigerator's lead lining actually seal completely? Either way, by 2018, one might say that it belongs in a museum.

- A spherical hand grenade the size of a bowling ball with a cross sticking out of the top, anointed in holy water and oils

"O LORD, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy."

- A singed numberplate with 'OUTATIME' as the ID

I bet the scorched fingerprint Marty left when he picked it up would be a criminologist's wet dream. Eew.

A blue and yellow jumpsuit with 111 on the back

Quite the score for any collector of Vault-Tec memorabilia, given that only two people got out of that vault alive (one of whom never got a jumpsuit). Seriously, it looked like the whole Vault held, what, a dozen people? Meh, maybe there were other levels they didn't find, with other not-so-Sole Survivors still in cold storage in units that didn't fail...

- A strange pistol-like tool with a rotating front section that emits three blue targeting beams

Uhm, say, Speaker-To-Animals, you aren't planning on using both bea.... BOOM

- A pair of hollowed-out coconut shell halves

We never did find out what the carrying capacity if an African swallow was, did we?

Eerr...the pistol was from Dead Space. Plasma cutter??? I don't know what reference you made there Schol

CrazyMinh wrote: Eerr...the pistol was from Dead Space. Plasma cutter??? I don't know what reference you made there Schol

One could call it a soft weapon.

Here's some harder ones:

- A bunch of toy dinosaurs, made from a plastic that hasn't been invented yet

- A blue bangle that occasionally glows

- A gold computer chip with a eye motif

- A red plastic toaster with flashing lights which wants you to eat toast

- A piece of magic chalk that can draw doorways to another dimension, and bring drawings to life

- A futuristic motorbike with folding wings

- A lost sandal from Judea

- A small marble that has a galaxy inside

- A ordinary blue hair ribbon

- Three keys, one copper, one silver and one crystal

- A gold amulet with a Egyptian hieroglyph on it. Seems to predate the birth of humanity, and the gold comes from another part of the galaxy.

- A robotic head that looks like half chewed pencil eraser

CrazyMinh wrote: Here's some harder ones:

- A bunch of toy dinosaurs, made from a plastic that hasn't been invented yet

Alas, poor Wash... Zoe does miss you.

CrazyMinh wrote: - A lost sandal from Judea

The Sandal of the Prophet! Who cares about a gourd?

CrazyMinh wrote: - A small marble that has a galaxy inside

Hey, the Arquillians are looking for that! Beware of bugs!

null0trooper wrote:

CrazyMinh wrote: Eerr...the pistol was from Dead Space. Plasma cutter??? I don't know what reference you made there Schol

One could call it a soft weapon.

Actually, it wasn't that weapon... in fact, Nessus kept insisting it wasn't a weapon at all, just a digging tool.

(Same Nessus, though, just two hundred years later. Pierson's Puppeteers are even longer-lived than either Pak Protectors or Bandersnatchi, though in terms of strict chronology, Outsiders live still longer due to the combination of time dilation and their glacially slow metabolisms.)

A digging tool that has modes which suppress either the Weak Force, or the Strong Force. A digging tool that could 'dig' through anything other than Hullmetal or Ringworld scrith probably counts as a weapon, even if it is too slow to use in a fight.

Just like all those other not-weapons which led Louis Wu to christen the First Ringworld Expedition's Puppeteer-build ship Lying Bastard.

Using both modes at the same time is... unwise. Which is, of course, why the expedition's 'tame Kzin' had to try it out when trying to force entry into a City Builder floating building.

Schol-R-LEA wrote:

null0trooper wrote:

CrazyMinh wrote: Eerr...the pistol was from Dead Space. Plasma cutter??? I don't know what reference you made there Schol

One could call it a soft weapon.

Actually, it wasn't that weapon... in fact, Nessus kept insisting it wasn't a weapon at all, just a digging tool.

It's been a long time since I've read "Ringworld". The odd thing is that I recognized the Kzin's name.

CrazyMinh wrote: Here's some more

- A plastic card resembling a ID with 'Multipass' written on it

Leelu's?

- A baseball bat with 'Wonder Boy' written on it

The Naturals?

A dirigible; the gondola is taken up almost entirely by a large kitchen with a butcher's station and a pie-making table. There is also small brig, where a recursive storybook lies on the bunk, along with a modern college-ruled pocket notebook with writing in Linear B. There's a sense of expectancy within, as if someone lost track of events somewhere.

A large silver key, decorated with roses and ivy vines. Some of the vines are chased in gold, copper and bronze, and are tangled in a way that gives the impression that they grew rather than being carved.

(Yep, finally got around to that. I still feel like I've been a piss-poor friend, even if we haven't spoken in years.)

- A pallet of highly radioactive folding chairs.

- A small pile of much older Russian-made folding chairs, scorched and partially melted, marked with chemical hazard symbols.

I may be overdoing this a bit right now.

6 copper coins and a small crystal vial containing a bright red liquid.

a large, but man-portable, multibarrel gun loaded with wooden spikes. It tends to misfire, but when it does, it is still very effective. Reloading is a bitch, though.

A deceased dolphin that was suffocated using peanut butter. It's even creepier than it sounds.

CrazyMinh wrote: Here's some harder ones:
- A piece of magic chalk that can draw doorways to another dimension, and bring drawings to life

Simon's magic chalk, from the shorts on Captain Kangaroo (actually, looking it up I see that they were actually from a BBC series originally). Though I know there are other series that use the idea or similar ones.

CrazyMinh wrote: - A futuristic motorbike with folding wings

Just watch out for motor-Cylons.

CrazyMinh wrote: - A ordinary blue hair ribbon

Hime-chan's wishing ribbon, if I don't miss my guess. EDIT Oops, no, that one was red. Not sure, then.

No, No and No. The magic chalk is from a early 2000's cartoon called Chalkzone, the motorbike is also from a cartoon, one called Sky Riders, and the hair ribbon is Violet's from a Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket.

Piece of advice? You only need to say that someone was wrong, without giving the answer; that way, you give others a chance to give the right answer. I mean, it's up to you, but...

A badly burned and irradiated human penis. Och, I told ye not to stick it in there, but ye dinnae listen ta me...

Schol-R-LEA wrote: a large, but man-portable, multibarrel gun loaded with wooden spikes. It tends to misfire, but when it does, it is still very effective. Reloading is a bitch, though.

Makes me think of Joerg Sprave and his beauties.

I was unfamiliar with those up to now, so no. I will have to watch some of those, though.

EDIT: After taking a look, I think that the 'Mosasaur Hunter 2000' is the closest to the one I had in mind, even in terms of the name. I doubt that the artist whose work he based it off of was riffing on this one, though, but either way, it is definitely gets to the heart of the matter (but isn't good for it).

EDIT EDIT: I was mistaken about the name, apparently. Sorry for that. I should have checked my notes.

A can of oxygen with a punny brand name.

Is the brand "Perri-air"? If so, President Skroob is looking for it.

Well, that went from suck to blow... yes, it is.

Regarding the folding chairs: the second set is a real-world reference, relating to a tragic event that was covered up for a long time.

The first set smells of burnt lemons, anger management issues, and raw unadulterated ego.

- A mangled .50 BMG bullet, with traces of human muscle, bone, and ligaments. A forensic analysis of the particulate matter and the damage to the bullet indicates that the victim (er, perhaps 'target' would be a better word here) was probably struck in a major joint such as the hip or shoulder. The bullet also has some slight residual radioactivity.

Schol-R-LEA wrote: - A mangled .50 BMG bullet, with traces of human muscle, bone, and ligaments. A forensic analysis of the particulate matter and the damage to the bullet indicates that the victim (er, perhaps 'target' would be a better word here) was probably struck in a major joint such as the hip or shoulder. The bullet also has some slight residual radioactivity.

CoD 4 MW the bullet from the Chernobyl mission?

Yes, the one Price shot Zakhaev with during the failed assassination attempt.

- A moose head, slightly ratty, and constantly falling off the wall onto unsuspecting individuals.
- A small, antique pocket stethoscope, with brass pieces. Slightly burned, but obviously treasered
- A large gold compass, which doesn't actually point north. Has thick white fur stuck under the lid
- A silver slat shaker (with Saint Cedds College written on it) that looks like it's been inside a pot in a harbour for thousands of years
- A small, green clay dragon with a pen and notepad
- A large bullet with a transparent section filled with what appears to be herbs floating in holy water. Way bigger than 50 calibre, more like .100 cal. Magnum-style for a revolver.

Er, you DO know that bullet calibers are measures (roughly, the details vary) of the diameter of the bullet/cartridge, don't you? They are either given in millimeters (like 9mm, 7.65mm) or decimal fractions of an inch (like .45, .357). That is, a .100 caliber bullet would be much smaller than a .50 (one-tenth of an inch instead of half-inch). What you would want is a 1.00 caliber, or perhaps a 25mm.

Sir Lee wrote: Er, you DO know that bullet calibers are measures (roughly, the details vary) of the diameter of the bullet/cartridge, don't you? They are either given in millimeters (like 9mm, 7.65mm) or decimal fractions of an inch (like .45, .357). That is, a .100 caliber bullet would be much smaller than a .50 (one-tenth of an inch instead of half-inch). What you would want is a 1.00 caliber, or perhaps a 25mm.

I was gonna say, either that's a typo for a ridiculously large bullet or a REALLY small one.

I figured he was getting caliber and gauge mixed up.

Anyway, the golden compass is an alethiometer from His Dark Materials.

You'll need to ask Dirk about the salt shaker.

True, though only because Professor Chronotis forgot about it shortly after his trick. So hard to keep track of it all...

E. E. Nalley wrote:

Sir Lee wrote: Er, you DO know that bullet calibers are measures (roughly, the details vary) of the diameter of the bullet/cartridge, don't you? They are either given in millimeters (like 9mm, 7.65mm) or decimal fractions of an inch (like .45, .357). That is, a .100 caliber bullet would be much smaller than a .50 (one-tenth of an inch instead of half-inch). What you would want is a 1.00 caliber, or perhaps a 25mm.

I was gonna say, either that's a typo for a ridiculously large bullet or a REALLY small one.

Oops...that's a typo. My bad.

Kettlekorn and OtherEric are right. Though I'm surprised no one has got the stethoscope yet. Think superhero. Think big-name superhero

CrazyMinh wrote: Kettlekorn and OtherEric are right. Though I'm surprised no one has got the stethoscope yet. Think superhero. Think big-name superhero

"Superhero" doesn't help as much as you think.

"Death is powerless against you if you leave a legacy of good behind. Death is powerless against you if you do your job. My father saved the lives of over four thousand people, one at a time... with his bare hands and his mind. Death was with him the entire time. "

-- Bruce Wayne

As not only was Thomas Wayne (The Earth 2(2013) version has also fought as "Batman"), but both Drs. Mid-Nite were physicians.

God fricking dammit. Of course i meant batman.The Nolan version BTW if you didn't get that. Ben Afflek sucks at being the Dark Knight.

CrazyMinh wrote: God fricking dammit. Of course i meant batman.The Nolan version BTW if you didn't get that. Ben Afflek sucks at being the Dark Knight.

I rather liked the Burton version when it came out.

I think I need to consolidate some of my newer ones, given how fast folks are posting here right now.

• a wooden box, cold to the touch, with elaborate Nordic symbols carved into it. It appears to have been hastily repaired with Krazy Glue. The lock on it seems pretty sturdy.
• A dirigible; the gondola is taken up almost entirely by a large kitchen with a butcher's station and a pie-making table. There is also small brig, where a recursive storybook lies on the bunk, along with a modern college-ruled pocket notebook with writing in Linear B. There's a sense of expectancy within, as if someone lost track of events somewhere.
• A large silver key, decorated with roses and ivy vines. Some of the vines are chased in gold, copper and bronze, and are tangled in a way that gives the impression that they grew rather than being carved.
• A pallet of highly radioactive folding chairs. They smell of burnt lemons, anger management issues, and raw unadulterated ego.
• A small pile of much older Russian-made folding chairs, scorched and partially melted, marked with chemical hazard symbols. This one is a real-world reference, though the tragic circumstances of it were covered up for decades.
• 6 copper coins and a small crystal vial containing a bright red liquid.
• A large, but man-portable, multibarrel gun loaded with wooden spikes. It tends to misfire, but when it does, it is still very effective. Reloading is a bitch, though. It somewhat resembles the 'Mosasaur Hunter 2000' picture which inspired one of Joerg Sprave's creations, but I doubt that the artist whose work he based it off of was Riff'ing on this one. Either way, it definitely gets to the heart of the matter (but isn't good for it). I thought it had a similar name, too, but I was wrong; I expect that the inventor would say that I should have checked my notes.
  
• A deceased dolphin that was suffocated using peanut butter. It's even creepier than it sounds.
• A badly burned and irradiated human penis. Och, I told ye not to stick it in there, but ye dinnae listen ta me...

The lemony chairs are obviously from Aperture Science, but I'm not sure if you're looking for a more specific answer than that.

I am, but you are on the right track, sure.

null0trooper wrote:

CrazyMinh wrote: God fricking dammit. Of course i meant batman.The Nolan version BTW if you didn't get that. Ben Afflek sucks at being the Dark Knight.

I rather liked the Burton version when it came out.

Just don't bring up Schumacher. Those don't exist.

Seriously, the 1966 TV series was better than those. While Kilmer and Clooney have been in some great movies, Adam West had just about everything over either of them when it came to the Darknight Detective. And the miscasting was only the smallest problem those films had.

Films which, I repeat, don't exist. Just like Star Trek V and The Star Wars Holiday Special . So there.

The wooden box is the Casket of Ancient Winters.

The spike gun is clearly a Sluggy Freelance reference, but I haven't followed the strip in years.

Right on both. Riff's otherwise unnamed stake gun (I thought he'd named it the Omni-Staker, to match the Omni-Taser Supreme, but I can't find any evidence of that), which I am pretty sure was supposed to be rapid semi-auto fire - not, as proved to be to case, one-shot fusillade fire - was used in the assault on the Lycinda Circle, in their first encounter with vampires. The Lycindas, who were about to turn both Torg and Zoe (having already turned Sam Da Man), had just moved into their area after being driven out of (I think) Mooneydale by 'Muffin the Vampire Baker', who was from a line of Slayer-types who generations earlier had been told (due to a poor translation) that 'vampire steaks are good for the heart'.

The Omni-Staker was indeed very effective in taking out the one vampire hit with it (which was pinned to a wall by most of the one hundred stakes it fired at once), but was then useless for the rest of the battle because it took two days to reload.

Two small crystals that resemble chamfered crosses with shortened arms. One glowing a bright emerald, the other a deep obsidian.

Do they have anything to do with Jennie-Lynn Hayden and Todd Rice?

Schol-R-LEA wrote: Do they have anything to do with Jennie-Lynn Hayden and Todd Rice?

Assuming you're replying to my post, no.

- A silver Rolex Submariner. It appears to be magnetic. You catch a whiff of vodka from the metal.

- A blue box with a triangular key-hole in it. The cube appears seamless, and is made from a shiny metal simular to aluminium in appearance

- A red plastic stapler with the logo Swingline on the side

- A black spinning top which seems to spin forever. Made from a black, dull material with a appearance simular to ebony.

- A business card with Paul Allen written on it

- A silver cylinder the size of a wrench with a set of rotating rings on the top. When a button is triggered, a electronic buzzing sound emanates from the top, and the rings glow. Seems to unlock doors when certain dials are turned, and in other cases causes useful things to happen. Seems to be a tool of some kind, but not one of earthly origin.

- A silver cylinder which expands with a *shick* when triggered. A series of dials on the back seem to control a length of time. You cannot remember where you found it, only that there seems to have been a bright flash of light sometime ago, and that you cannot remember the previous day.

- An oragami unicorn

-A small flying saucer. Really handy around the house.

- A silver lighter with a skull on it. Stinks of cheap beer, cigarettes, spilled lighter fluid and blood.

- A copy of Morris Dancing Monthly

- A top hat. Perfect for a English Gentlemen with a affinity for puzzles and archeology.

- The front half of a cat. The cat seems perfectly happy, and seems to be unhindered by the lack of it's hindquarters. It does everything a cat with both halves of it's body would do, including grooming itself, and does not seem to have any medical complications. Otherwise, it is missing it's entire rear half.

- A bathrobe that looks like it's been to the end of the universe.

Cryptic wrote: a long brown coat
Malcom’s coat from Firefly


a pretty floral bonnet
Why wasn’t Zoe in the dress???

a leaf on the wind
Dam that was sad. Poor Zoe

a small diamond vial with a liquid inside
Lucy’s potion from the lion the witch and the wardrobe

A set of four crowns designed for two kings and two queens
Possibly also from tltwatw I.e the crowns that the children get at the end of the book/movie

an iron lamp post with the lamp arm ripped off
The original lamppost from The Magicians apprentice

a multicolored knit scarf that seems longer then the wearer is tall
Tom baker as Doctor who’s scarf

a dress shirt with question marks on the collar
Also from doctor who, the fifth doctor if I’m not wrong

a stone left hand fused with a stone snake and a paving stone, severed above the elbow
a mask that is blank on the outside and mirrored on the inside


masks of unknown metal that control earth, fire, wind, water, stone, earth, ice, and time
Bionicles from LEGO. Some of my favourite things from my late childhood/early teen years

a pot containing Oak's 'baby' cousin. The one with the speech impediment
I am Groot


a pen that when you remove the cap becomes a sword
Rick Riordan made way too much money off Percy Jackson

a watch that becomes a round shield
Ugh the Percy Jackson movie sucked.

a battered brown fedora
Snakes??? I hate Snakes!!!
.

CrazyMinh wrote: - A red plastic stapler with the logo Swingline on the side

From Office Space

CrazyMinh wrote: - A business card with Paul Allen written on it

Er, from anybody who ever had business deals with Microsoft's co-founder? There must be a few thousand of those around...

CrazyMinh wrote: - A silver cylinder the size of a wrench with a set of rotating rings on the top. When a button is triggered, a electronic buzzing sound emanates from the top, and the rings glow. Seems to unlock doors when certain dials are turned, and in other cases causes useful things to happen. Seems to be a tool of some kind, but not one of earthly origin.

The Doctor: "Ah, so THAT is where I left my sonic screwdriver..."

CrazyMinh wrote: - An oragami unicorn

Left by Gaff in the hallway of Deckard's apartment.

CrazyMinh wrote: -A small flying saucer. Really handy around the house.

Batteries not included?

CrazyMinh wrote: - A copy of Morris Dancing Monthly

Maybe it belongs to Jason Ogg, leader of the Lancre Morris Men?

CrazyMinh wrote: - A bathrobe that looks like it's been to the end of the universe.

The laundry marked it as belonging to an "Arthur Dent."

A badly burned and irradiated human penis. Och, I told ye not to stick it in there, but ye dinnae listen ta me...

I Swear, if none of you dickngbats get this one, I'll, I'll... why, Ah'll drink all the rubbing alcohol again! Because this coffee tastes like a Gorn's ballsack!

CrazyMinh wrote: - A black spinning top which seems to spin forever. Made from a black, dull material with a appearance simular to ebony.

Cobb's totem from Inception

CrazyMinh wrote: - A silver cylinder which expands with a *shick* when triggered. A series of dials on the back seem to control a length of time. You cannot remember where you found it, only that there seems to have been a bright flash of light sometime ago, and that you cannot remember the previous day.

A Neuralyzer from the MIB

CrazyMinh wrote: - A top hat. Perfect for a English Gentlemen with a affinity for puzzles and archeology.

Professor Layton's hat.

A steam powered automobile nearly out of water. Oddly the water is salty.

A telegram from Havana, requesting a parent to dispatch legal counsel, arms, and financial assistance.

A young woman's skeleton, arranged into a cage.

A license to dance.

A Thompson submachine gun, with a receipt dated 1976 under the name Tania.

A bowl of crayfish gumbo with miraculous life-sustaining properties.

A stand-up piano the top is covered in bottle marks and cigarette burns.

A large collection of naugahyde furniture, with several opals hidden under them.

A stirring spoon made from a monkey's paw.

A large set of early 19th century baggage.

A crack pipe and a Little Black Dress.

A half-eaten plate of Chinese food with several animal hairs on it.

A broken tooth and a hockey puck.

A train ticket to Yuma, AZ.

Some bondage rope and a spanking paddle, from a night their owner would rather forget.

Schol-R-LEA wrote:
A train ticket to Yuma, AZ.

The 3:10 train, I'm guessing?

E. E. Nalley wrote:

Schol-R-LEA wrote:
A train ticket to Yuma, AZ.

The 3:10 train, I'm guessing?

Could be. However, in keeping with the rest of those things (which all go together, you see), you might want to be sure it is the train and not something more esoteric, just as the one singing about it did.

I was tempted to mention a discarded sheriff's badge, but that wasn't his; he borrowed that from a far more celebrated songsmith. The same applies to the red chapeau..

Schol-R-LEA wrote: A telegram from Havana, requesting a parent to dispatch legal counsel, arms, and financial assistance.

"Send lawyers, guns, and money Dad, get me out of this"

Schol-R-LEA wrote: A young woman's skeleton, arranged into a box.

"He was an excitable boy," they all said

Schol-R-LEA wrote: A Thompson submachine gun, with a receipt dated 1976 under the name Tania.

Originally belonging to Roland. He was a warrior from the Land of the Midnight Sun with a Thompson gun for hire, fighting to be done.

Schol-R-LEA wrote: A large collection of naugahyde furniture, with several opals hidden under them.

The furniture was auctioned off in Spokane by a former altar boy, Mr. B. Example.

Schol-R-LEA wrote: A crack pipe and a Little Black Dress.

Once belonging to my little angel. She's the Queen of Downtown, she gets around town, my angel dressed in black

Schol-R-LEA wrote: A half-eaten plate of Chinese food with several animal hairs on it.

Was it a plate of beef chow mein from Lee Ho Fook's?

Schol-R-LEA wrote: A broken tooth and a hockey puck.

I hear that Buddy's real talent was beating people up.

Schol-R-LEA wrote: A train ticket to Yuma, AZ.

That would have been John Wayne's ticket for the 3:10 train, but my ride's already here.

Schol-R-LEA wrote: Some bondage rope and a spanking paddle, from a night their owner would rather forget.

Did he meet her at the Rainbow Bar?


n.b. "Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner" is more of an awesome drinking/party song than "Werewolves of London". I'm surprised I have any memories of it at all.

Schol-R-LEA wrote: A license to dance.

Life'll kill ya, y'know.

Wow, I can't say yes enough. Thank you.

There are three more, but I am guessing you missed them because I was still editing it while you were writing your reply.

Sir Lee wrote:

CrazyMinh wrote: - A red plastic stapler with the logo Swingline on the side

From Office Space

CrazyMinh wrote: - A business card with Paul Allen written on it

Er, from anybody who ever had business deals with Microsoft's co-founder? There must be a few thousand of those around...

CrazyMinh wrote: - A silver cylinder the size of a wrench with a set of rotating rings on the top. When a button is triggered, a electronic buzzing sound emanates from the top, and the rings glow. Seems to unlock doors when certain dials are turned, and in other cases causes useful things to happen. Seems to be a tool of some kind, but not one of earthly origin.

The Doctor: "Ah, so THAT is where I left my sonic screwdriver..."

CrazyMinh wrote: - An oragami unicorn

Left by Gaff in the hallway of Deckard's apartment.

CrazyMinh wrote: -A small flying saucer. Really handy around the house.

Batteries not included?

CrazyMinh wrote: - A copy of Morris Dancing Monthly

Maybe it belongs to Jason Ogg, leader of the Lancre Morris Men?

CrazyMinh wrote: - A bathrobe that looks like it's been to the end of the universe.

The laundry marked it as belonging to an "Arthur Dent."

everything but the magazine and the business card were correct. The business card is the tricky one...I can tell you it has nothing to do with Microsoft.

Angledude approximately said: Professor Layton's Hat from Professor Layton

Correct!!! I didn't expect many people to get that one, seeing as the games aren't as well known as say, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (though there was a crossover game with Professor Layton between those two franchises incidentally)

- A Smith and Wesson M1917 'Hand Ejector Second Model' with a modified sight blade and a chunk missing from the grip

- A crowbar, covered in blood and gore, some of it nonhuman

- A Kunai with a chain attached to the back

- A sword with a hilt made from bone, and a bunch of strange runes along the blade.

- A pair of metal die, built to hang from the ceiling of a vehicle. They do not have standard die symbols on their sides.

- A small glass dolphin

CrazyMinh wrote: A small glass dolphin

You might want to rethink that one.

null0trooper wrote:

CrazyMinh wrote: A small glass dolphin

You might want to rethink that one.

Why???

CrazyMinh wrote:

null0trooper wrote:

CrazyMinh wrote: A small glass dolphin

You might want to rethink that one.

Why???

While I'm sure the vibrating dolphins sold online are silicone, I have seen pyrex dolphins for sale for certain types of intimate massage.

Oh. I meant the glass dolphin from Bones. Sorry to spoil that one.

CrazyMinh wrote: - A crowbar, covered in blood and gore, some of it nonhuman

Gordon Freeman didn't bother much with it after getting the Gravity Gun, he might have misplaced it.

CrazyMinh wrote:

Angledude approximately said: Professor Layton's Hat from Professor Layton

Correct!!! I didn't expect many people to get that one, seeing as the games aren't as well known as say, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (though there was a crossover game with Professor Layton between those two franchises incidentally)

I've never actually owned a Professor Layton game, but I have played through a friends copy of the Diabolical Box and really liked it. There's also a movie, The Eternal Diva , that was really good as well. I watched it with my friend who wasn't familiar with the series at all and we both liked it.

I'm curious of anyone here has even heard the series mine was from. It is a video game. And I should clarify that only the arms of the crosses are chamfered, not the whole cross.

CrazyMinh wrote: Oh. I meant the glass dolphin from Bones. Sorry to spoil that one.

That's OK. After all, Temperance is all about experimentation, and as a certain rapid-fire video game reviewer once said, experimentation is a good thing.

Which brings us back to sex, and dolphins. But I digress.

BTW, based on my experience selling such items for my late father (I ran his website), I can unequivocally state that there is at least one model of glass dolphin adult toy that vibrates. Kind of changes the meaning of 'flogging the dolphin', I guess. You can thank me for that mental image later.

A thin metal plate, about 12x6 inches in size, painted bright orange with a row of several reflective, silvered rectangles with the same height but various widths.

Sir Lee wrote: A thin metal plate, about 12x6 inches in size, painted bright orange with a row of several reflective, silvered rectangles with the same height but various widths.

My first thought was the Delorean's future license plate, but I would expect it to be less than 6 inches tall.

Got it in one. From the movie, it sure looked like a regular U.S.-sized license plate.

A wearable AR unit with a red plastic optical piece. The unit has been crushed, but recovering the recorded data shows that the last indicated reading was surprisingly high.

Ah, a relic from those quaint days when nine-thousand was a high bar to pass.

Kettlekorn wrote: Ah, a relic from those quaint days when nine-thousand was a high bar to pass.

Nine thousand? I could have sworn it was only one thousand and... oh.

Sir Lee wrote: Got it in one. From the movie, it sure looked like a regular U.S.-sized license plate.

I didn't know that license plates were a 2:1 ratio. Probably has to due with the optical illusion that horizontal distances are often overestimated when compared to vertical ones.

I got those dimensions from Wikipedia: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vehicle_registration_plate#Sizes

I guess the series mine is from is too obscure. The general shape is common throughout the series, but my exact submission is from the latest installment. Another thing is that emerald and obsidian primarily refer to the colour of the crystals.

Hint:

Found in Whateley's lost and found, sometime in Dec of 2016

A Pile of white and red puppy plushies. Note attached. "SOMEONE TELL THAT MAGICAL GIRL TO TRAIN HER MASCOT!"

- A large handgun with the word 'replica' written on the side.

- A small blue crystal in the shape of a sphere. May have properties allowing teleportation between worlds and the animation of plastic models.

- A pair of suppressed silver pistols. The tools of a experienced assassin.

- A kermit the frog doll. It makes a great leader.

CrazyMinh wrote: - A pair of suppressed silver pistols. The tools of a experienced assassin.

the Silverballers from the HITMAN franchise

I probably should start explaining some of my outstanding ones, at least those which no one seems to be getting.

Admittedly, the book one of them from is pretty much only known to computer scientists and eccentric philosophers, isn't as well known as it was when I was in high school, and is such a doorstopper that even those who read it (or more likely, parts of it) probably don't recall or even simply missed the story/dialogue it was from. I'll bet Kettlekorn's .sig would get the part about losing track of things, but maybe that's just me stacking up the puns again.

I will give the first set of folding chairs to Kettlekorn, as it probably isn't reasonable to expect a more detailed answer. The specific ones are the chairs Johnson mentions when discussing removing the test subjects' tumors (the exact lines from the two voice logs were: "For this next test, we put nanoparticles in the gel. In layman's terms, that's a billion little gizmos that are gonna travel into your bloodstream and pump experimental genes and RNA molecules and so forth into your tumors." and "Now, maybe you don't have any tumors. Well, don't worry. If you sat on a folding chair in the lobby and weren't wearing lead underpants, we took care of that too.").

<3 Cave Johnson

I'll take a wild guess that the dirigible one is something from Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid. Haven't read that book yet, but it's near the top of my list now that I'm through Sanderson's Wax and Wayne books.

Kettlekorn wrote: <3 Cave Johnson

I'll take a wild guess that the dirigible one is something from Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid. Haven't read that book yet, but it's near the top of my list now that I'm through Sanderson's Wax and Wayne books.

As a matter of fact, it is. Specifically, it relates to the first part of the Carollean Dialogue entitled Little Harmonic Labyrinth (after the Bach piece of the same name, which is indeed referenced in the story). I won't spoil the story for you, other than to say it involves a metaphor about nesting, stack discipline, and error handling, with some logical contradiction as a palate cleanser in the middle.

No, seriously. It's a conversational allegory. One featuring Achilles, the Tortoise, a tortoise-eating Sweeney Todd, the difference between soda pop vs. tonic, lizards that turn people into pickles, magical Genies, GOD, the Escher lithographs Convex and Concave and Reptiles , and the dreaded Majotaur. I am not making this up.

A worn out zamboni machine with a Saskatchewan license plate mounted on the back. Held in an aftermarket cupholder is a thermos of maple syrup. A sack hangs from the back of the seat, filled to bursting with donuts, moose jerky, and Celine Dion albums.

Deadpool???

Kettlekorn wrote: A worn out zamboni machine with a Saskatchewan license plate mounted on the back. Held in an aftermarket cupholder is a thermos of maple syrup. A sack hangs from the back of the seat, filled to bursting with donuts, moose jerky, and Celine Dion albums.

If my previous post was not clear, I meant is that the Zamboni from Deadpool???

Nope.

Kettlekorn wrote: Nope.

Damm, when I saw Celene Dilion, I was sure it was deadpool

The license plate makes one wonder, too... I mean, who besides an utter whacko as Deadpool would want to drive a zamboni on *public roads*? What's the idea here, make winter roads *more* slippery?

I take it back, even Deadpool doesn't seem wacko enough. That reaches Joker levels of wanton disregard to public safety. But the Joker is a Gothamite, not from Saskatchewan.

Kettlekorn wrote: A worn out zamboni machine with a Saskatchewan license plate mounted on the back. Held in an aftermarket cupholder is a thermos of maple syrup. A sack hangs from the back of the seat, filled to bursting with donuts, moose jerky, and Celine Dion albums.

Wow, I wouldn't want to be that kind of Canadian Idiot. Not for all the accordions in the world.

There's no official video for the song, but this one should do:

I'm going post my outstanding items one more time. before I give explanations.

• A large silver key, decorated with roses and ivy vines. Some of the vines are chased in gold, copper and bronze, and are tangled in a way that gives the impression that they grew rather than being carved.
• A small pile of much older Russian-made folding chairs, scorched and partially melted, marked with chemical hazard symbols. This one is a real-world reference, though the tragic circumstances of it were covered up for decades.
• 6 copper coins and a small crystal vial containing a bright red liquid.
• A deceased dolphin that was suffocated using peanut butter. It's even creepier than it sounds. But, you know, experimentation is a good thing, we don't figure these things out without it. And for those who don't experiment, or forget what happend when they did, they'll never learn anything, tee hee hee.
• A badly burned and irradiated human penis. Och, I told ye not to stick it in there, but ye dinnae listen ta me...

I Swear, if none of you dickbatsdingbats get that last one, I'll, I'll... why, Ah'll drink all the rubbing alcohol again! Because this coffee tastes like a Gorn's ballsack!

Schol-R-LEA wrote:

Kettlekorn wrote: A worn out zamboni machine with a Saskatchewan license plate mounted on the back. Held in an aftermarket cupholder is a thermos of maple syrup. A sack hangs from the back of the seat, filled to bursting with donuts, moose jerky, and Celine Dion albums.

Wow, I wouldn't want to be that kind of Canadian Idiot. Not for all the accordions in the world.

Yep!

A spaceship with an excessively expensive paint job, sized for a species much larger than humans. It has survived many battles and seen many upgrades. Amenities include a fully equipped wet bar, stabilized coasters, a recording studio, an OEM eject button in pristine condition, new speakers, elevated cockpit, a snakeskin ceiling, autopilot, and a mech in the trunk.

The Culture series by Ian M. Banks???

- A cricket-playing robot. Very dangerous
- A sentient robot that was created for a very stupid purpose relating to breakfast
- A cone-shaped machine that spews glowing particles. Has a pleasant humming sound.
- A energy weapon shaped like a snake. Three hits will kill anything
- A very small pocket pistol. Needlelike, but will surprise you a lot...
- A small gold locket. All measurements within a certain distance of the locket will give weird results

CrazyMinh wrote: - A cricket-playing robot. Very dangerous

I think this has to do with the dreaded Krikkit race from the later "Hitchhiker" books. But I don't remember the details.

CrazyMinh wrote: - A energy weapon shaped like a snake. Three hits will kill anything

It's called a "zat'nik'tel", not a "zat".

CrazyMinh wrote: - A very small pocket pistol. Needlelike, but will surprise you a lot...

A Noisy Cricket from MIB?

A small spaceship. The paint job is... black. I mean, really, really black, like seeing it makes your eyes water it is so black.

Another spaceship. It is a transparent needle-shaped craft with a huge fusion-based reaction engine on one end and a honking big laser cannon on the other, with a weird-looking FTL drive near the rear and a crew compartment outfitted for a single human. a lot of the items in the cabin have mysteriously shifted to one end of the ship or the other. It seems to bear a surprising amount of gravitas to it, hence the government's interest in it.

CrazyMinh wrote: The Culture series by Ian M. Banks???

Nope

Schol-R-LEA wrote: A small spaceship. The paint job is... black. I mean, really, really black, like seeing it makes your eyes water it is so black.

The spy spaceships from E.E."Doc" Smith Lensman series?

Schol-R-LEA wrote: Another spaceship. It is a transparent needle-shaped craft with a huge fusion-based reaction engine on one end and a honking big laser cannon on the other, with a weird-looking FTL drive near the rear and a crew compartment outfitted for a single human. a lot of the items in the cabin have mysteriously shifted to one end of the ship or the other. It seems to bear a surprising amount of gravitas to it, hence the government's interest in it.

Oh, this one is easy, even without the "gravitas" pun. That's the General Products #2 ship that got too close to a strong gravity well, in Larry Niven's story Neutron Star.

Schol-R-LEA wrote: Another spaceship. It is a transparent needle-shaped craft with a huge fusion-based reaction engine on one end and a honking big laser cannon on the other, with a weird-looking FTL drive near the rear and a crew compartment outfitted for a single human. a lot of the items in the cabin have mysteriously shifted to one end of the ship or the other. It seems to bear a surprising amount of gravitas to it, hence the government's interest in it.

The Skydiver?

Yes. Skydiver was Beowulf Schaeffer's ship on the follow up mission to BVS-1, the expedition was meant to show that the fatal consequences of the first expedition wasn't due to a fault in the GP hulls. Because the cause of the failure was unknown (actually, the Puppeteers knew exactly what happened, but wanted a human expedition to prove it so there wouldn't be any alternate theories) Schaeffer insisted on the big engine and the weapons in case it was due to hostiles. This got the ARM worried, thinking (correctly) that he might run off with this nigh-indestructible warship and sell it to the rebels on Wunderland rather than go on a possible suicide mission.

Partial credit for Sir Lee, but I had the impression he was thinking of the first expedition's ship.

Sir Lee wrote:

Schol-R-LEA wrote: A small spaceship. The paint job is... black. I mean, really, really black, like seeing it makes your eyes water it is so black.

The spy spaceships from E.E."Doc" Smith Lensman series?

Nope. This was even more expendable than that.

An expensive jewelry box, containing only a broken pearl necklace. Some of the pearls have brownish stains.

Sir Lee wrote: An expensive jewelry box, containing only a broken pearl necklace. Some of the pearls have brownish stains.

I assume a Batman reference, with the brown stains being blood. But not sure if there's a specific story you're looking for.

Hotblack desiaos ship from HHGTTG

Sir Lee wrote:

CrazyMinh wrote: - A cricket-playing robot. Very dangerous

I think this has to do with the dreaded Krikkit race from the later "Hitchhiker" books. But I don't remember the details.

CrazyMinh wrote: - A energy weapon shaped like a snake. Three hits will kill anything

It's called a "zat'nik'tel", not a "zat".

CrazyMinh wrote: - A very small pocket pistol. Needlelike, but will surprise you a lot...

A Noisy Cricket from MIB?

all correct

OtherEric wrote:

Sir Lee wrote: An expensive jewelry box, containing only a broken pearl necklace. Some of the pearls have brownish stains.

I assume a Batman reference, with the brown stains being blood. But not sure if there's a specific story you're looking for.

Not "a" Batman reference. THE Batman reference. Martha Wayne's pearl necklace, the one she was wearing the night Bruce's parents were murdered. The one that's *always* portrayed broken, with the pearls scattering. I would think Bruce would keep it, but he would never actually have it repaired.

What I thought, I just didn't recall a specific story showing them in a jewelry box. But I haven't read or seen every Batman story ever.

Legion of Super-Heroes, on the other hand...

A black velvet-lined box holding a string of once peculiarly dirty pearls. They've since been cleaned, the better to send a message at a wedding. But take care: for anything done twice in that place is tradition.

@CrazyMinh: Well, technically it was in Restaurant at the End of the Universe, but yes. It's the 'solar surfer' which was to plunge into the star Kakrafoon at the height of his latest concert. Too bad Arthur, Ford, Zaphod, Trillian, and Marvin had snuck into it just before the automated takeoff sequence started, though they did get out before the big dive.

Funny trivia fact: Hotblack Desiato was named after a real estate brokerage in Islington , where Adams was living at the time (which is why Arthur also resided there). No, really. Adams was planning a joke about Pink Floyd's leaving the UK for a year 'for tax reasons', but was having trouble with the details; when he saw the sign for the business and knew he simply had to use it:

Adams said he was struggling to find a name for the character and, spotting a Hotblack Desiato sign while driving, liked the name so much he "nearly crashed the car" and eventually telephoned to ask permission to use the firm's name for a character. Apparently, the firm's staff later received phone calls telling them they had a nerve naming their company after Adams's character.

Schol-R-lea, the sundiver actually first appeared in the original radio series of THHGTTG, which was later detailed in the novel called The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. In addition, Hotblack doesn't own the sundiver in the radio show, it's the battlecruiser of a shapeshifting alien race, one which the crew are unpleasantly faced with when


[note that the previous sentance contained spoilers, so I hid it for those who haven't listened to the radio show].

Continuing from where I cut off, while the books are very good in their own right (excluding that abysmal 'new' one by that pirate-obsessed idiot Eoin Colfer (responsible for the terrible Artemis Fowl novels, and a bunch of badly-written children's books) (which has now been turned into a new radio series)), the real genius was in the original radio series. Opening theme: The Journey of the sorcerer. One of the best Opening themes I have ever heard. Starring Simon Jones as Arthur Dent, Susan Sheridan as Trillian, Geoffery McGivern as Ford Prefect, Peter Jones as the voice of the Guide, Mark Wing-Davey as Zaphod, and Stephen Moore as Marvin the Paranoid Android (though he really isn't paranoid- try depressed). The series is divided into phases, the second of which was the one with the Resturant at the end of the universe, called the Secondary Phase.

Tl;dr, the Sundiver isn't canonically (by the original source material) given a name, and it isn't really Hotblacks, and it isn't from The Resturant at the end of the universe; but rather a unamed, impossibly black alien warship from the Secondary Phase of the HG2G Radio Series, belonging to a shapeshifting alien warlord. Just BTW.

A tattered black and white photograph of a couple arm in arm at a carnival, holding a bag of popcorn. There is some rust-colored dust on the back.

A small apothecary's vial containing traces of cyanide, and an antique stiletto covered in long-dried blood which, if tested, is found to have come from a woman.

Schol-R-LEA wrote: A tattered black and white photograph of a couple arm in arm at a carnival, holding a bag of popcorn. There is some rust-colored dust on the back.

Shouldn't someone get that back to Tim?

Schol-R-LEA wrote: A small apothecary's vial containing traces of cyanide, and an antique stiletto covered in long-dried blood which, if tested, is found to have come from a woman.

"Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things;
Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished:
For never was a story of more woe
Than this . . ."

null0trooper wrote:

Schol-R-LEA wrote: A tattered black and white photograph of a couple arm in arm at a carnival, holding a bag of popcorn. There is some rust-colored dust on the back.

Shouldn't someone get that back to Tim?

I don't know what you're referring to, but no one named Tim was involved in what I have in mind to the best of my knowledge. A Jonathan, certainly, and a Josef, and a Jane; a Milton, a Wally, and much later a Dan, a Sally, a Walter, an Adrian, and an Eddie, yes; an Alan, a Dave, and a John, after a fashion, as well as a Neal later still; hell, one could argue that an Allen (or Nate, depending on the publisher) would be related to it indirectly, but no Tim AFAIK.

Unless you mean the director, but he turned the job down.

Schol-R-LEA wrote: A small apothecary's vial containing traces of cyanide, and an antique stiletto covered in long-dried blood which, if tested, is found to have come from a woman.

"Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things;
Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished:
For never was a story of more woe
Than this . . ."

Indeed. And no dancing street gangs in sight.

So you're thinking of the photo of Janey and Jon Osterman, whereas I was thinking more of the photo taken of Tim Drake with the Graysons (shortly before their murder).

Ah. I didn't make the Tim Drake connection, but yes, I was thinking of the photo Dr Manhattan left on Mars.

OK, I'll answer another one: 6 copper coins and a small crystal vial containing a bright red liquid.

Yeah, I was really stretching here... this was the "2d4 copper pieces and a potion of fire resistance" Haley Starshine earned by killing the mildew in the Thieves Guild's showers (which she mentioned after Roy reminded her that "we're adventurers - everything we meet has a listed treasure type").

(Hmmn, that kind of puts his earlier quip towards the overly uptight Paladin Miko Miyazaki that she needed more 'treasure type O' in a very... odd... light. Pardon me while I try to bash the mental images this gives me out of my skull.)

Well, I only get half of them:

The backpack and the coconuts are Patsy's props from 'Monty Python's Holy Grail'

The red stapler is from 'Office Space'

The hourglass belongs to the Wicked Witch of the West- the original, from the 'Wizard of Oz', none of that corkscrew logic, bring in tons of suspect evidence, turn the bad guys good and vice-versa 'Wicked' crud

the inflatable pilot is 'Otto' from 'Airplane!', the BEST airplane disaster movie ever MADE!

and the origami unicorn is from the highly suspect ending of 'Blade Runner'

JG wrote: A robotic, articulated Arm with a glowing ball in the center that talks like Pee-Wee Herman

A golden idol of a tiny man with a huge head set in a grimace next to a bag filled with sand.

a map to a Bolo. Security checked, there's only a couple hills covered in old growth forest there.

A bowling ball with a rose in the center

A Painting of a boy holding an apple

A ridiculously overloaded backpack and two half-shells from a coconut.

One red stapler

An overly large hourglass filled with red sand

An inflatable airline pilot

An origami unicorn

OK, at least three of those are pretty easy:
- The red stapler was misplaced; its correct location is on Milton's desk at Initech
- What's the autopilot from Airplane is doing outside the cabin, and alone? I mean, I could understand if he was accompanied by the inflatable stewardess in their inflatable honeymoon...
- The origami unicorn was found in the corridor outside Deckard's apartment. It was almost certainly left there by Gaff.

The "overly large hourglass filled with red sand" might be the magical hourglass belonging to Scrooge McDuck (in a story mostly ignored later, including by Carl Barks himself) -- the sand was red, but I don't think the hourglass was large enough to be considered "overly large". So, probably something else...

JG wrote: A golden idol of a tiny man with a huge head set in a grimace next to a bag filled with sand.

I thought Indy needed the bag of sand to keep the trap from being sprung in that cave in Peru. (Opening scene, Indiana Jones and the Lost Ark)

JG wrote: A Painting of a boy holding an apple

Literally "BOY WITH APPLE", formerly belonging to Madame Céline Villeneuve Desgoffe und Taxis, and at one time stored in the safe of The Grand Budapest Hotel.

Though I'd repost some outstanding ones:

- Karambit knife with the name 'S. Fisher' etched into the handle
- A character sheet with 'Sir Osric the Chased' written on it. It is for a 4th edition D&D paladin
- A Winchester rifle, covered in zombie blood
- A long, squarish rifle coloured ochre with a rotating bolt on the sides closest to to the tip, and two seperate magazines (one power pack, one circular ammo magazine)
- A blue bangle that occasionally glows
- A gold computer chip with a eye motif
- A red plastic toaster with flashing lights which wants you to eat toast
- Three keys, one copper, one silver and one crystal
- A gold amulet with a Egyptian hieroglyph on it. Seems to predate the birth of humanity, and the gold comes from another part of the galaxy.
- A robotic head that looks like half chewed pencil eraser
A moose head, slightly ratty, and constantly falling off the wall onto unsuspecting individuals.
- A small, green clay dragon with a pen and notepad
- A silver Rolex Submariner. It appears to be magnetic. You catch a whiff of vodka from the metal.
- A blue box with a triangular key-hole in it. The cube appears seamless, and is made from a shiny metal simular to aluminium in appearance
- A business card with Paul Allen written on it
- A silver lighter with a skull on it. Stinks of cheap beer, cigarettes, spilled lighter fluid and blood.
- A copy of Morris Dancing Monthly
- The front half of a cat. The cat seems perfectly happy, and seems to be unhindered by the lack of it's hindquarters. It does everything a cat with both halves of it's body would do, including grooming itself, and does not seem to have any medical complications. Otherwise, it is missing it's entire rear half.

Hmm, that amulet... extraterrestrial gold, Egyptian, predates generally accepted history dating... smells like Goa'uld to me.

Sir Lee wrote: Hmm, that amulet... extraterrestrial gold, Egyptian, predates generally accepted history dating... smells like Goa'uld to me.

Yep!!! Stargate, the amulet that the old lady gives to Jackson.