Question Gale Discussion

Forgot to create a discussion thread.

Story thread so far

I'll likely be uploading in small chunks simply because it's my first time writing and I'd like some time to get comfortable. Along with that, please leave feedback to help me grow as a writer.

Fun fact, the main character's BIT design predates my discovery of Whateley and has a complicated history all its own.

Sets my teeth on edge trying to read it, not sure why. Throws me off though. Maybe it's how short the installments are, or maybe it's the way it's formatted.

I can't get a good sense of the person being written about. They've got some interesting bits, but mostly it comes off feeling off putting.

Iwasforger03 wrote: Sets my teeth on edge trying to read it, not sure why. Throws me off though. Maybe it's how short the installments are, or maybe it's the way it's formatted.

I can't get a good sense of the person being written about. They've got some interesting bits, but mostly it comes off feeling off putting.

Thank you. I apologize. I'm new to this and am not familiar with how to write: a convincing character or in general. I will say that it's not the most encouraging comment, but it is the first comment on pretty much anything I've ever written, so I thank you regardless. The short installments are largely due to me haven't a hard time coming up with ideas as well as general discomfort. I have some ideas on event that will happen later, but not much on how to get there.

I've said it twice already, but, encouraging or not, thank you.

An area where I'm far more comfortable is programming, which is why I'm talking computer science instead of literature. On top of that, I've disliked (I want to say hated) English class throughout most of my education. Whateley Academy was the very first recreational reading that I can remember reading at all aside from technical articles and documentation. I would have never dared writing an original story before discovering Whateley Academy about a year ago. I can tell that I have a lot to learn if I want to continue doing this.

The character is largely based on myself, not because I'm trying to write a self insert, but just because my own personality and traits are the ones I'm most familiar with. I suppose it would make sense that they would seem off because I myself have never really learned what a "normal" person should act like. I just try to imagine how I would act in those situations and apply that to the character, which, knowing myself, probably isn't how a normal person would react. If anything, I was trying to make them more normal to avoid writing a complex and bizarre character for my first try and not do anything too ambitious.

Writing about yourself is often a decent place to start for practice, but if you want to take it farther, diverge from yourself. You are the most likely to forget stuff about your own character while writing because it's so intrinsic to you it doesn't even occur to you to make note of it. I started writing with myself as a main character, but I've found far more success writing about other characters fully distinct from myself.

Iwasforger03 wrote: Sets my teeth on edge trying to read it, not sure why. Throws me off though. Maybe it's how short the installments are, or maybe it's the way it's formatted.

I can't get a good sense of the person being written about. They've got some interesting bits, but mostly it comes off feeling off putting.

I wonder if that's because it's fairly unusual for a person to consciously reality-test unless they have been dealing with dissociation or psychosis. From the start, the character has mentally stepped back inside their head and become an observer of their own actions.

Or, maybe the POV character doesn't really have a good sense of who they are?

I think that is part of it. We kind of get tossed into something without enough setting. He's questioning reality before we even know who HE is, but that's not the whole of it. I've been there. Many people have to write a LOT before they can write something easily. You just need to keep writing.

null0trooper wrote:

Iwasforger03 wrote: Sets my teeth on edge trying to read it, not sure why. Throws me off though. Maybe it's how short the installments are, or maybe it's the way it's formatted.

I can't get a good sense of the person being written about. They've got some interesting bits, but mostly it comes off feeling off putting.

I wonder if that's because it's fairly unusual for a person to consciously reality-test unless they have been dealing with dissociation or psychosis. From the start, the character has mentally stepped back inside their head and become an observer of their own actions.

Or, maybe the POV character doesn't really have a good sense of who they are?

What I trying to portray is a regular reality check for Lucid Dreaming. When starting, it's often recommended to check for impossible phenomena every so often such that it becomes automatic when dreaming. I don't do it nearly as frequently as I should and I probably have more checks than necessary. As someone who has experienced telekinesis in a lucid dream, I thought it might be interesting if someone first discovered a hint of powers through doing such a reality check.

Yes, as a real-life, non-mutant, I have seen 11 fingers on one hand, flown, and telekenetically manipulated objects (I think it was a margarine container) (and dropped it right in front of me.) I tend to find myself interested in various forms of weirdness, including lucid dreaming, gender bending, and the adventure that led to what I was planning on using for the character's final design.

Also make sure you have a plan for the story formed for the most part in your head before you start writing. More explanation is good, as well. That's the kind of thing it would help to explain in the story itself, to clarify for the reader.

He's got breasts, apparently... Never explicitly said, but the context of the Whateley-verse makes that the sensible conclusion.

Okay... Wind user + fem... Makes me think of Sylphs. *shrugs*

Obviously she's gonna be called Gale.