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Question Tears and Fears

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6 years 7 months ago #1 by Dreamer

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The beginning of a new 2nd Gen story by E.E. Nalley and elrodw is here. So read, enjoy and please comment.

Thank You for story comments appreciated and help me know me they are being read and liked.

Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.

6 years 7 months ago #2 by Malady

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Oooh! Cool, a story in space!

And Space Hostage-taking and stuff!

Along with progression of the Cody Twins' plotline.

That Policeman... I don't trust him... Think it's Coyote, 'cause he's the main Astral-interrupter?

And that Elaine's having nightmares about this mission, of 2009... And so, it's not gonna end well... 'Cause why else would there be her scream, and dream, in this plotline? ... Unless some random PrimalScene thing... Betting it's not that though.

That scream could even be faked by Coyote or whoever...

----

Wonder what "Winyanigmuwatogla" means... Forgot what kind of spirit she is... Wiki is not helping there...

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6 years 7 months ago #3 by elrodw

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Malady wrote: Wonder what "Winyanigmuwatogla" means... Forgot what kind of spirit she is... Wiki is not helping there...

Winyan is Lakota for woman
Igmu is Lakota for cat
Watogla is Lakota for nervous or wild

So it could be "Wild Cat Woman" or "Nervous Cat Woman"

Never give up, Never surrender! Captain Peter Quincy Taggert

6 years 7 months ago #4 by mhalpern

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Hmm this means Brenda and Karma are about the same age...

Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.

6 years 7 months ago #5 by E. E. Nalley

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Malady wrote: That scream could even be faked by Coyote or whoever...

My apologies, it has been a while since the last story. The Haunting of Jennifer Kelly ended thusly:

Jennifer raised her hands and took a step back. “I...I don't want any trouble...”

“Trouble?” Wicked shouted. “You kept me from mah husband! From mah children! From mah god damned LIFE! Bitch, you don't know what trouble is! If you won't listen to her for reason, then Ah'll just fucking kill you!” Wicked leapt forward, claws first and Jennifer screamed...

I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791

6 years 7 months ago #6 by Dreamer

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SPOILER ALERT
Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.

Tears and Fears Part 1 comments

Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]

Thank You for story comments appreciated and help me know me they are being read and liked.

Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.

6 years 7 months ago - 6 years 7 months ago #7 by null0trooper

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elrodw wrote:
Malady wrote: Wonder what "Winyanigmuwatogla" means... Forgot what kind of spirit she is... Wiki is not helping there...

Winyan is Lakota for woman
Igmu is Lakota for cat
Watogla is Lakota for nervous or wild

So it could be "Wild Cat Woman" or "Nervous Cat Woman"

A page for Lakota Animal Words gives "igmuwatogla" as the name for "cougar". Our Languages agrees ("mountain lion") and adds "igmugleza" for wildcat.

IIRC, mountain lions might be more cautious around humans and other large predators than wildcats.

Edit:

Malady wrote: That Policeman... I don't trust him... Think it's Coyote, 'cause he's the main Astral-interrupter?

I think we've seen this spirit before, in "There's an Angel in Father John's Basement".

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Last Edit: 6 years 7 months ago by null0trooper. Reason: combine posts

6 years 7 months ago #8 by Katssun

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Lanie, Kayda, and Tansy are on board a fully armed and operational battle station, making Star Wars jokes.

Spacing children though?! It seems like quite a few people need to experience reentry first hand. Is it...final frontier justice?

It's kind of a shame that the twins are getting pulled from regular school, although it only makes sense. I just get the feeling that going through elementary in the junior high program at Whateley causes children to get a bit...strange. It's a weird environment to be surrounded by a large number of high school children. They end up not really having any true peers in terms of age, hobbies, and likes.

Love the weaponization of space politics introduced in this story.

null0trooper wrote: Edit:
Malady wrote: That Policeman... I don't trust him... Think it's Coyote, 'cause he's the main Astral-interrupter?

I think we've seen this spirit before, in "There's an Angel in Father John's Basement".

I thought that was the firefighter. Same spiritual intent though, I believe.

6 years 7 months ago #9 by joreymay

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Minor question: Why is the song attributed to Sinatra? It was written and first (and most famously) recorded by Joni Mitchell.

6 years 7 months ago #10 by E. E. Nalley

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joreymay wrote: Minor question: Why is the song attributed to Sinatra? It was written and first (and most famously) recorded by Joni Mitchell.

Well, actually, it was first recorded by Judy Collins , although, you're correct, Joni did write it and did record her version on her album Clouds . I first heard the version by Roger Whittaker , who most people have probably never heard of, but the Sinatra version was what I listened to when I decided to use it as the Epigraph. So it is my intention of that particular performance be what is thought of, but no slight of Ms Mitchell was intended.

I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791

6 years 7 months ago #11 by null0trooper

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E. E. Nalley wrote: I first heard the version by Roger Whittaker , who most people have probably never heard of

I'm sure I've heard "New World In The Morning" on AM radio.

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6 years 7 months ago #12 by E. E. Nalley

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Ah, the last of the Crooners. My grandmother, may she rest in peace, was a big fan. The very first concert I went to was his in Atlanta in the late 70s or early 80s.

As touching the questioned fireman spirit:

There's An Angel In Father John's Basement wrote: Lodgeman started. The Firefighter spoke in the voice of every man he had ever known who’d bravely given his life for a cause that he believed in. And Lodgeman had known many in the course of his life, and seen them charge into the face of sure death. Charlie knew that this was no mere city spirit before him. This was the fabled spirit that lies within New Yorkers, so completely hidden until something touches them. When this spirit rose up, taxi drivers became warriors. Salesgirls became raging she-wolves protecting their cubs. Common street punks became Holy Paladins. Everyday people shed their fears and preconceptions and fought as heroes. The form he wore was that of every firefighter who’d gone into the flames at the World Trade Center and died.

I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791

6 years 7 months ago #13 by Ametros

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Well then, many things about this exemplify why I find space to be a terrifying and deadly place to be, even within the imaginary safety of a vessel.

Now, at mention of a powerful psychic by the name of 'General Pearson', my first thoughts were of the command overseeing The Dragonslayers, and the name certainly matches. First mention of her having powers? The whole psychic thing makes particular sense though, given their dislike of her.

Tears and Fears (Part 1) wrote: "No buts, son. You both know why Whateley exists and why your mother and I are here. You have powers and you are too young to really know how to control them. So I will be enrolling you both in the Junior High program and your new teacher, Ms. Grimes, will be taking care of your studies. Not another word. Actions have consequences. Now, you two go change for dinner and I have to call your mother and let her know what's happened."

Ms. Grimes? I find this curious, given the year being 2016 and the following passage a while back...

The Evil That Men Do (Part 4) wrote: As she had every time she had come here, the stone she stopped before had her own name carved in it, and while the month and day were still blank, the year, 2008 was still boldly carved in it. Above the stone, glossy as midnight itself, sat the monstrous form of Raven. He appeared as he always did as a physically perfect form of the carrion eating animal he exemplified, save for his size, that of a large cat or a small dog, double or triple the size of any natural bird. He stared at her one eyed and cackled ominously. “Student,” he greeted in his throaty, off tenor.

Elyzia bowed. “Teacher, I come seeking wisdom.”

Seriously, thank you for your time and effort. It is appreciated.

6 years 7 months ago #14 by E. E. Nalley

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Ametros wrote: Ms. Grimes? I find this curious, given the year being 2016 and the following passage a while back...

Sounds like a mystery, doesn't it?

I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791

6 years 7 months ago #15 by ebony841

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Ms Grimes survived the battles of the endgame in Gen 1. The Raven is just using the gravestones as a warning of the severity of the crisis and the possible endings. Even spirits such as the Tao or the Olympians or the Bastard cannot accurately predict what will happen next, so the warning by the Raven is most likely just a prediction by the Raven,

6 years 7 months ago #16 by OtherEric

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E. E. Nalley wrote: I first heard the version by Roger Whittaker , who most people have probably never heard of,

I guess I'm not most people, I've even seen him perform live. He has a real talent for making any song I hear his version of become my mind's go-to version.

Back to the original point, I like the idea of the attribution of the song at the start of the story reflecting the intended version, even if it's not the original composer.

6 years 7 months ago #17 by null0trooper

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E. E. Nalley wrote:
Ametros wrote: Ms. Grimes? I find this curious, given the year being 2016 and the following passage a while back...

Sounds like a mystery, doesn't it?

The cat is both alive and dead until direct observation collapses the waveforms.

In both known cases, that's a lot of penance even though what's been alluded to have been big-ticket items.

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6 years 7 months ago #18 by joreymay

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E. E. Nalley wrote:
joreymay wrote: Minor question: Why is the song attributed to Sinatra? It was written and first (and most famously) recorded by Joni Mitchell.

Well, actually, it was first recorded by Judy Collins , although, you're correct, Joni did write it and did record her version on her album Clouds .

FWIW, Joni Mitchell released it as a single in 1966, a year before Judy Collins' recording and three years before the Clouds album. I will admit that it can be argued that the Collins recording was more famous than that single.

6 years 7 months ago #19 by E. E. Nalley

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joreymay wrote:
E. E. Nalley wrote:
joreymay wrote: Minor question: Why is the song attributed to Sinatra? It was written and first (and most famously) recorded by Joni Mitchell.

Well, actually, it was first recorded by Judy Collins , although, you're correct, Joni did write it and did record her version on her album Clouds .

FWIW, Joni Mitchell released it as a single in 1966, a year before Judy Collins' recording and three years before the Clouds album. I will admit that it can be argued that the Collins recording was more famous than that single.

Well, this is what I get for relying on Wikipedia...

I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791

6 years 7 months ago #20 by mhalpern

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ebony841 wrote: Ms Grimes survived the battles of the endgame in Gen 1. The Raven is just using the gravestones as a warning of the severity of the crisis and the possible endings. Even spirits such as the Tao or the Olympians or the Bastard cannot accurately predict what will happen next, so the warning by the Raven is most likely just a prediction by the Raven,

Well the act of seeing the future to determine prophecy itself changes the chain of events that result in the prophecized outcome. Sometimes it's a ripple, sometimes it's a wave.

Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.

6 years 7 months ago #21 by Valentine

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Ametros wrote: Well then, many things about this exemplify why I find space to be a terrifying and deadly place to be, even within the imaginary safety of a vessel.

Now, at mention of a powerful psychic by the name of 'General Pearson', my first thoughts were of the command overseeing The Dragonslayers, and the name certainly matches. First mention of her having powers? The whole psychic thing makes particular sense though, given their dislike of her.

Siblings and Savages 1 wrote: Very quietly, the two women spoke.

“Carson, that’s…”

“Shut it. If she catches you in her head, she will kill you, or at least she will try. Caitlin doesn’t forgive, or forget easily and I don’t want to have to cross that bridge.”

“I did them wrong. I treated them like they were shattering glass figurines when I should have been treating them like what they were.”

“What’s that?”

“Marines. When you’re in M-SOC it’s too easy to see normal, baseline Marines as children who need protecting rather than grown men and women who are trained to fight, kill and die. Every single time I sent Equalizer out on mission, they came back with body bags and haunted faces. Every single time.”

“Why did you keep sending them out rather than disbanding the squad, and re-integrating them into normal regiments?”

“Because they got the job done.” Pearson snorted. “Those seven men, past and present, excelled in taking out targets that ran my Mutants, Batsons, Mages and Dynamorphs around in circles. Their only outright failures were Killbot and Mach-5. And Mach-5 turned out to be better scared than dead.”

I think that is the first confirmation of her having powers.

Don't Drick and Drive.

6 years 7 months ago #22 by Sir Lee

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OtherEric wrote: Back to the original point, I like the idea of the attribution of the song at the start of the story reflecting the intended version, even if it's not the original composer.

It might be nice, but it's unfair to the original writer. A more appropriate attribution might be "-- Joni Mitchell (as sung by Frank Sinatra)"

Don't call me "Shirley." You will surely make me surly.

6 years 7 months ago #23 by annachie

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Sir Lee wrote:
OtherEric wrote: Back to the original point, I like the idea of the attribution of the song at the start of the story reflecting the intended version, even if it's not the original composer.
It might be nice, but it's unfair to the original writer. A more appropriate attribution might be "-- Joni Mitchell (as sung by Frank Sinatra)"

Ironically, I first heard it in the movie Switch, which for those that don't know the movie involves transgender themes. By Clannad and Paul Young.

6 years 7 months ago #24 by Anne

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E. E. Nalley wrote:
joreymay wrote: Minor question: Why is the song attributed to Sinatra? It was written and first (and most famously) recorded by Joni Mitchell.

Well, actually, it was first recorded by Judy Collins , although, you're correct, Joni did write it and did record her version on her album Clouds . I first heard the version by Roger Whittaker , who most people have probably never heard of, but the Sinatra version was what I listened to when I decided to use it as the Epigraph. So it is my intention of that particular performance be what is thought of, but no slight of Ms Mitchell was intended.

I looked at youtube for this, and can't see a version by Sinatra... Roger Whitaker OTOH? The first hundred or so entries...
So if someone just happens to have a link to it handy, I wouldn't mind hearing what E. E. has in mind when including the lyrics...TIA

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6 years 7 months ago #25 by null0trooper

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Anne wrote: So if someone just happens to have a link to it handy, I wouldn't mind hearing what E. E. has in mind when including the lyrics...TIA

Bonus track:

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6 years 7 months ago #26 by Ahimsa

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‘I’ve got it!’ cried the President. ‘It’s Mr Hilton!’

‘Well done, sir!’ said the Chief Spy.

‘Are you sure it’s him?’

‘Not sure, but it’s certainly a warm possibility, Mr President. After all, Mr Hilton’s got hotels in just about every country in the world but he hasn’t got one in space. And we have. He must be madder than a maggot!’

I'm sorry but the moment I saw "Hilton Orbital Hotel" the only thing I could think of was "Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator"

I kept on waiting for a Vermicious Knid reference.

SCRAM!

sri-bhagavan uvaca | kalo 'smi loka-ksaya-krt pravrddho | lokan samahartum iha pravrttah | - "Lord Krishna said: I am terrible Time, the destroyer of all beings in all worlds, engaged to destroy all beings in this world." - Bhagavad Gita 11:32

6 years 7 months ago - 6 years 7 months ago #27 by Echo

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Some comments after a fairly hasty reading:

Space station shape and location: The station is described both as a drum and as a torus. The 2001 station was a torus (for rotational gravity) with docking ports at the hub. I'm not sure if nation states are willing to tolerate stations big enough for significant (higher than mars) rotational gravity in low orbit (probably under 500 km) because of fears of uncontrolled reentry. The level of gravity depends on the torus or cylinder's primary radius and how fast it spins (too fast and people get motion sickness). Big stations, especially toruses and cylinders with 1G@1rpm rotational gravity are IMO improbable below high orbit (a few thousand km) and only really likely at L4/L5.

On stealthing spacecraft: I'm wondering why infrared isn't mentioned because manned spacecraft definitely have to reject waste heat. A computer system using a FLIR and regular camera and comparing the two images shouldn't be too difficult to put together.

On spacesuits: wouldn't the space marines be wearing some sort of intravehicular suit, like NASA's ACES, the russian Sokol suits or what Boeing and SpaceX are putting together, meant mostly for work inside a ship. They should be capable of some EVA time but not meant for it.

On weaponry: To me banging about with single projectile weaponry on a space station would be one of an astronaut's worst nightmares after fire and rapid decompression. The specific problems would be missed shots hitting something important and overpenetration. Some kind of shotgun or multiple flechette ammunition seems probable. Except for in large open cylinder stations ranges will be short anyway.

Keep up the good work!

Last Edit: 6 years 7 months ago by Echo.

6 years 7 months ago #28 by Katssun

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Echo wrote: On spacesuits: wouldn't the space marines be wearing some sort of intravehicular suit, like NASA's ACES, the russian Sokol suits or what Boeing and SpaceX are putting together, meant mostly for work inside a ship. They should be capable of some EVA time but not meant for it.

On weaponry: To me banging about with single projectile weaponry on a space station would be one of an astronaut's worst nightmares after fire and rapid decompression. The specific problems would be missed shots hitting something important and overpenetration. Some kind of shotgun or multiple flechette ammunition seems probable. Except for in large open cylinder stations ranges will be short anyway.

Rapid, uncontrolled decompression of 1 atmosphere, like in space, is surprisingly not that big of a deal. The hypoxia will get to you first, and the station seems to be pretty well equipped to isolate specific sections, like Viridian's team did to the hostages. If you don't hold your breath, you might damage portions of your lungs though. The type of horrific decompression we see in movies is in reality reserved to undersea applications, where the pressure differences are much more extreme.

As for the spacesuits, I don't think it would have mattered. Their ship got hit by a high powered laser. If the lack of oxygen and the ship splitting in half didn't get them, they were probably cooked inside before the hole even punched through the hull. I thought Starship Operators handled space combat like that very well and realistically.

6 years 7 months ago #29 by mhalpern

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Katssun wrote:
Echo wrote: On spacesuits: wouldn't the space marines be wearing some sort of intravehicular suit, like NASA's ACES, the russian Sokol suits or what Boeing and SpaceX are putting together, meant mostly for work inside a ship. They should be capable of some EVA time but not meant for it.

On weaponry: To me banging about with single projectile weaponry on a space station would be one of an astronaut's worst nightmares after fire and rapid decompression. The specific problems would be missed shots hitting something important and overpenetration. Some kind of shotgun or multiple flechette ammunition seems probable. Except for in large open cylinder stations ranges will be short anyway.
Rapid, uncontrolled decompression of 1 atmosphere, like in space, is surprisingly not that big of a deal. The hypoxia will get to you first, and the station seems to be pretty well equipped to isolate specific sections, like Viridian's team did to the hostages. If you don't hold your breath, you might damage portions of your lungs though. The type of horrific decompression we see in movies is in reality reserved to undersea applications, where the pressure differences are much more extreme.

As for the spacesuits, I don't think it would have mattered. Their ship got hit by a high powered laser. If the lack of oxygen and the ship splitting in half didn't get them, they were probably cooked inside before the hole even punched through the hull. I thought Starship Operators handled space combat like that very well and realistically.

I like how the Halo lore handles space combat, few things are better than large high velocity slugs or nukes at very close proximity lack of a medium for the shock-wave means what does get hit receives a lot of energy on a focused point, obviously if you have focused energy weapons they can be extremely deadly too, and some ships can still fight with 90% of their hull destroyed

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6 years 7 months ago #30 by elrodw

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Echo wrote: Some comments after a fairly hasty reading:

Space station shape and location: The station is described both as a drum and as a torus. The 2001 station was a torus (for rotational gravity) with docking ports at the hub. I'm not sure if nation states are willing to tolerate stations big enough for significant (higher than mars) rotational gravity in low orbit (probably under 500 km) because of fears of uncontrolled reentry. The level of gravity depends on the torus or cylinder's primary radius and how fast it spins (too fast and people get motion sickness). Big stations, especially toruses and cylinders with 1G@1rpm rotational gravity are IMO improbable below high orbit (a few thousand km) and only really likely at L4/L5.

I did the calculations for estimates of size, mass, and angular velocity. Having a station in low-earth-orbit isn't that huge a deal for reboost as long as perigee is above 300 to 350 km. It's good. The one thing is that launch and reboost technologies in the Whateley universe are ahead of ours. I don't consider this a show-stopper.

Echo wrote: On stealthing spacecraft: I'm wondering why infrared isn't mentioned because manned spacecraft definitely have to reject waste heat. A computer system using a FLIR and regular camera and comparing the two images shouldn't be too difficult to put together.

Yes, IR sensors would have picked up the spacecraft - but I simply chose not to include that. I did note that there were sensors of every type, highlighting the mag anomaly sensors and the grav anomaly sensors.

Echo wrote: On spacesuits: wouldn't the space marines be wearing some sort of intravehicular suit, like NASA's ACES, the russian Sokol suits or what Boeing and SpaceX are putting together, meant mostly for work inside a ship. They should be capable of some EVA time but not meant for it.

The mercenaries would have had something less than NASA's Launch Escape Suits (used on the shuttle) - not as bulky and protective as the Orlan suits or the ISS suits. Short-term protection from vacuum exposure ONLY, emphasis on dexterity and low encumbrance. Elements of experimental skin-tight technologies to help accomplish this.

Echo wrote: On weaponry: To me banging about with single projectile weaponry on a space station would be one of an astronaut's worst nightmares after fire and rapid decompression. The specific problems would be missed shots hitting something important and overpenetration. Some kind of shotgun or multiple flechette ammunition seems probable. Except for in large open cylinder stations ranges will be short anyway.

Actually, it's been proven that a small penetration will not result in balloon-like failure; a small hole (as we see in the currently-orbiting Soyuz) has a finite leak-rate and such a penetrated hull retains structural integrity. On top of this, frangible rounds reduce the possibility of hull penetration. Don't see an issue.

Echo wrote: Keep up the good work!

Never give up, Never surrender! Captain Peter Quincy Taggert

6 years 7 months ago #31 by Kettlekorn

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Echo wrote: On stealthing spacecraft: I'm wondering why infrared isn't mentioned because manned spacecraft definitely have to reject waste heat. A computer system using a FLIR and regular camera and comparing the two images shouldn't be too difficult to put together.

So you're fine with the teenager who regularly gives out invisibility charms to her friends and family, but you take issue with the idea that a top of the line special ops stealth vehicle might have a way to temporarily mask its IR emissions?

It's not exactly a complicated problem to solve with real-world tech. Impractical, perhaps, but not complex. All you do is run coolant lines through your hull, feed them into one end of a heat pump, and hook the other end into a huge glorified thermos -- the whole system is exactly the reverse of a refrigerator. Of course, it's only a temporary solution; as the bottled-up heat builds, the system's efficiency will drop and your hull temperature will begin rising. But that's okay! We rely on temporary solutions all the time -- fuel tanks, batteries, ammunition, harddrives, you name it. You just figure out how much of it you'll need and then build it big enough to provide that. It's just that in this case, you might have to build it very big if you don't have some gadgeteers to lean on.

Fortunately, this story is set in the WU, not real-life, so there are plenty of gadgeteers to go around. And since this was a small, well funded special ops team, they could also have gotten away with a less mass-production friendly solution, like a devise or magic. Hell, we know there was a hero team on board; maybe one of them was Elle Ruud on AC duty.

But most likely? They just weren't worried about it. Space is a big place, and it sounds like even as of 2009 there are very few people up there. They rightly assumed that Viridian didn't have his own sensor network watching the entire sky for unidentified IR sources, so they thought their stealthy-enough ship would go unnoticed until it was pretty close. What they didn't plan on was Viridian hacking into everybody else's satellite data and using that to find them.

I am the kernel that pops in the night. I am the pain that keeps your dentist employed.

6 years 7 months ago #32 by Sir Lee

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Re the altitude of space stations:

One could make the argument that it's *safer* in the long run to have space stations in the LEO where they have to periodically receive orbital boosts due to the small atmospheric drag present. Why? Well, because space stations are the sort of place where the probability of stuff getting loose is not small enough to ignore. If you are in LEO, that wrench you mishandled in the EVA will eventually get dragged down and burn on reentry; in HEO, it will become one more piece of space debris for several centuries. You don't want to increase the chances of Kessler Syndrome any more than you need.

OTOH, the risks involved in the entire station crashing on somebody's backyard are manageable. Most of it will fall apart and burn on reentry anyway, as long as you don't go out of your way to make it unnecessarily (and uneconomically) sturdy. Yes, there will always be a few parts with a better than even chance of making it to the surface... radiation-proof sample safes and such (if memory serves well, that was the main concern when Skylab deorbited), but you can design to minimize those risks.

Don't call me "Shirley." You will surely make me surly.

6 years 7 months ago #33 by Yolandria

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Part 2 of this stories Installment is now up and ready for consumption. Post in the sections below.

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6 years 7 months ago #34 by CrazyMinh

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Honestly, I feel like the battle to take the hotel back could have been extrapolated on slightly. It felt kinda...very sorry for using this word...lazy. I know, I know...I do the same thing when I write. But it just felt kinda abrupt, and I was hoping to see some detail on how Lord Paramount's men fought, and how the CQ fighting aboard a orbiting station went.

Other than that, the subplot where we find out more about what has happened to Lanie in-between 2009 and 2016 is nice. Finding out that you're a triple pHd with a husband and kids must be challenging after having amnesia for several years...still, I'm not seeing any of Lanie's personality in Jennifer. It's strange...I know amnesia does shit with people who have it, but the characters seem very differentiated from each other. Even if Lanie had amnesia, it would be weird for her to have total amnesia, which would mean she'd be completely without memory. Also...what happened to her powers??? That's my question...

Otherwise, bang up job (to use British vernacular). The story came to a more-or-less satisfying end...although I'm still a little disappointed that we didn't get to see the space battle in more detail.

Throughout the story, I noticed that you've certainly done your research on up-and-coming spaceflight technology:
- The suits that the girls are wearing are actual technology being developed by NASA. Like in the story, they are simular in thickness to a wetsuit, a far cry from the bulky cloth spacesuits of today. The thing that many people misperceive about being in a vacuum is that your eyes will bulge out of your head and you will just die instantly. In fact, the eye bulging is a myth, and you can survive in space...so long as you vent your lungs. Your main issue is hypothermia from the cold, and damage to your cells from the water boiling. There's also the fact that due to the lack of a protective ozone layer, you'd get severe sunburn if you were sun-side, and most probably suffer brain damage from the lack of oxygen. The thing that would kill you is explosive decompression, which is a real threat. Anyway, these suits are really only pressurised in the helmets, as to make sure that if a tear occurs, the damage is limited to the area around the tear. Cool use of a experimental tech!!

- The idea of a orbital station like the wheel one from 2001 ASO is a common theme in sci fi, and a concept proposed for many space hotels. The actual engineering of building such a station is interesting as hell, as to rotate it the energy cost would be massive. You'd have to figure out a way of both keeping the lights on, keeping the air fresh, running all the computer systems and CMG's, catering for the needs of hundreds of guests, keeping the orbital attitude and alignment stable, maintaining a prograde, retrograde, radial, anti-radial, normal or normal alignment to facilitate both a optimal cooling/heating condition for both the exterior hull and the interior of the station (i.e. keeping the most reflective surface sunwards) as well as rotating a significant mass 24/7 to provide a comfortable level of gravity (if anything, it should be more than 0.5G, and less than a full 1G to make sure you're not stressing the structure with too much centrifugal force). But it's still a neat concept, albiet one in need of new developments to become viable.

- I'm not sure what Diabolik's ship is meant to look like, or how it's meant to generate gravity. Is it a conventional ship like the Hermes from the Martian (movie, as you never see the one in the book), or is it equipped with some gravity flooring? The problem is that building a ship like the ones that will most likely tread the path between Earth and other planets to be a warship is a pointless exercise. Even building a space battleship is a ordeal not worth undertaking.

- This is a nitpick, but why did the crew of that stealth ship need to paint the hull black (apart from the need to absorb radar returns)? Eyeballing a object in space is pointless, which is why I get really angry when some asshole in the business of designing sci-fi spaceships puts a massive f**king window on the bridge of the ship (Looking at the asshole who decided that Trek don't need no viewscreens (a actually sensible design choice of the great Matt Jefferies that carried over throughout generations until some asshole decided it'd be way cooler to put a window instead of a viewscreen) and put a bloody window on every ship instead) which is both a liability to your own safety, and a f**king pointless feature. Have you ever seen how Subs don't have big windows?? Even civilian ones don't, as that's a structural weakness when in a environment which has a high external pressure like the deep ocean. Case in point, space may be a vacuum, but your spacecraft interior isn't. That glass would be shattering outwards, alongside your atmosphere. Case in point: even if there were cameras, there's literally no point to painting the hull that black. You don't need to blend in, as finding you would be almost impossible even IF the hull wasn't already pitch black. In fact, you could have just painted it with a grey radar absorbing paint, like most fighter craft use today. Fun fact, it's not actually as radar absorbent as a full black carbon paint, but it disrupts the radar returns enough to help confuse missile locks. At least, that's what I've been told by my military-otaku friend. Yeah...he's obessesed with military tech. Though admittedly he didn't know the difference between a Patton and a Sherman. Difference: the Patton isn't as shit as the Sherman. Off track now.

- Clever move, using space junk as cover. While it could be used, you would need a computer like Carmen to tell you when to leap off. Orbital debris whip round the earth as high speeds, and they are unpredictable in their orbital paths. Good reasoning there.

That's all I could think of.

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6 years 7 months ago #35 by CrazyMinh

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Sir Lee wrote: OTOH, the risks involved in the entire station crashing on somebody's backyard are manageable. Most of it will fall apart and burn on reentry anyway, as long as you don't go out of your way to make it unnecessarily (and uneconomically) sturdy. Yes, there will always be a few parts with a better than even chance of making it to the surface... radiation-proof sample safes and such (if memory serves well, that was the main concern when Skylab deorbited), but you can design to minimize those risks.

You crazy yanks crashed that thing into my back yard!!! Plus, you only payed us like, what, a few dollars for the cleanup cost.

At least we gave you the wreckage back. It's currently in Alabama. How do I know???

I visited there with my cousin (not the graphic design one, the other one) who was going to space camp as part of a school trip. I had to help cater for the needs of around 40 odd high school students, three teachers and a few people from the company who provided the trip. What did I get?? A few hundred dollars. Better than nothing I suppose. But the experience was great. I wish I'd gotten to go when I was in high school!!!

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6 years 7 months ago #36 by null0trooper

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CrazyMinh wrote: This is a nitpick, but why did the crew of that stealth ship need to paint the hull black (apart from the need to absorb radar returns)?

Because that's the same color as things that naturally fly past the planet on any given day without being on a known trajectory.

It's also useful for reducing the likelihood of the stealth ship showing up in any of the visible-light images being collected not only by major optical telescopes but also the hundreds of amateur telescopes pointed in the same direction. Plausible deniability goes right out the window when even the plebs have pictures of the thing.

Subs have no windows because there's nothing to see out there without light. If you do get close enough to see something it's already too late.

Military aircraft and ships are painted flat grey because it's the most difficult color to see over the widest variety of conditions.

Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.

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Discussion Thread

6 years 7 months ago #37 by MM2ss

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You didn't get a T-shirt? You got ripped off... Even I have a shirt (and a set of dog tags) left over from space camp many moons ago.

Did you at least get a chance to run down the road to see Vulcan and his buns of steel in Birmingham?...

6 years 7 months ago #38 by Kristin Darken

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Ok, before the space tech criticisms get too far out of whack, I want to say that we (as an author / staff team) DID pick apart an early revision of this for technical reasons and I think E.E. and Elrod did an exceptionally credible job at meeting our various details in revisions. And while we didn't hire a team from NASA or SpaceX to go over things; you DID have both a Navy Nuclear Engineer and a literal rocket scientist / engineer who has worked for NASA as part of the feedback / revisions team. So it's probably fair to say that our 'science' is closer to the real thing than maybe 95% of television or film of the past decade.

That said, we're not writing technical documents. We're not even writing sci-fi. So wave your hands around a bit and give us a break on technical details you 'think' we've missed. Either YOU are wrong and we DID do it right and you just don't realize it... or WE did it wrong and decided that the amount of research and work to fix it was grossly out of proportion to the gain in story quality. After all, we can always pull the "they used a gadgeteer / devisor / mage" card and ... how can you argue with that?

Fate guard you and grant you a Light to brighten your Way.

6 years 7 months ago - 6 years 7 months ago #39 by Sir Lee

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CrazyMinh wrote:
Sir Lee wrote: OTOH, the risks involved in the entire station crashing on somebody's backyard are manageable. Most of it will fall apart and burn on reentry anyway, as long as you don't go out of your way to make it unnecessarily (and uneconomically) sturdy. Yes, there will always be a few parts with a better than even chance of making it to the surface... radiation-proof sample safes and such (if memory serves well, that was the main concern when Skylab deorbited), but you can design to minimize those risks.

You crazy yanks crashed that thing into my back yard!!! Plus, you only payed us like, what, a few dollars for the cleanup cost.

Who are you calling a Yanqui, you English-native-speaker, former-Brit-colony, descendant from Anglo-Saxons? My country had nothing to do with Skylab.

Don't call me "Shirley." You will surely make me surly.

Last Edit: 6 years 7 months ago by Sir Lee.

6 years 7 months ago #40 by MM2ss

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Sir Lee wrote:
CrazyMinh wrote:
Sir Lee wrote: OTOH, the risks involved in the entire station crashing on somebody's backyard are manageable. Most of it will fall apart and burn on reentry anyway, as long as you don't go out of your way to make it unnecessarily (and uneconomically) sturdy. Yes, there will always be a few parts with a better than even chance of making it to the surface... radiation-proof sample safes and such (if memory serves well, that was the main concern when Skylab deorbited), but you can design to minimize those risks.

You crazy yanks crashed that thing into my back yard!!! Plus, you only payed us like, what, a few dollars for the cleanup cost.
Who are you calling a Yanqui, you English-native-speaker, former-Brit-colony, descendant from Anglo-Saxons? My country had nothing to do with Skylab.

Looks like it is tea time for Sir Lee, might I suggest a nice herbal blend with some chamomile?

6 years 7 months ago - 6 years 7 months ago #41 by JG

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A good part of why you don't see the actual room to room fighting is because tactical combat in space is a level of nightmare fuel that is difficult to do justice (for one).

Two, it would have detracted and distracted from the main story, as that was not the focus.

Even I, who am often the go-to guy to check fight scenes would have a difficult time describing CQB on an orbital platform. there's just so much shit that can happen, and every weapon choice you make has its own ramifications.

It would be nigh unto impossible to realistically depict said combat AND describe it in such a way that would not bog down the story flow. A space hab is the technological equivalent of a thin wooden shack introduced to a firefight that is surrounded by a dark void of nothing.

Lets just say those of us with ground combat training took one look at the scenario and agreed no standard specops team would touch that shit. The only real invasion option available to the US would be a Marine Battalion. If you did not care about casualties.

Paramount brings other interesting options to the table but ultimately its a question of "will this slow the story down too much?"

Ultimately combat scenes were sacrificed to focus on the protagonists, Kayda, Lanie and Tansy, who were the chosen focus of the tale.

Last Edit: 6 years 7 months ago by JG.

6 years 7 months ago #42 by Sir Lee

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MM2ss wrote:
Sir Lee wrote: Who are you calling a Yanqui, you English-native-speaker, former-Brit-colony, descendant from Anglo-Saxons? My country had nothing to do with Skylab.

Looks like it is tea time for Sir Lee, might I suggest a nice herbal blend with some chamomile?

Sorry. I grew up back in the "Yanqis Go Home" era, I tried to make a joke of it but it obviously didn't work.

Don't call me "Shirley." You will surely make me surly.

6 years 7 months ago #43 by MM2ss

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What do you mean "back in the yankees go home era"? In my neck of the woods we are still saying that to all the yankees!

6 years 7 months ago #44 by JG

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the bible belt doesnt count

for anything.

ever.

Love ya EE!

*runs!*

6 years 7 months ago #45 by MM2ss

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Let me just get my rifle down from over the fireplace and I'll give you some proper Southern hospitality! LOL

But seriously, we still say that here... Yankees always asking silly questions and then I have to explain about grits in bloom and marshmallow farms...

Night all.

6 years 7 months ago #46 by Dreamer

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Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]

Some interesting lyrics to start this part with, wonder what they entail. August 4th, 2009 aboard the Hilton Orbital Casino and Hotel. Lanie loving the benefit of having Kayda as a friend and teammate, thanks to the ghost-walking charm letting her sneak around unseen and unheard. On B-level, so close to the central core.

Carmen had informed Lanie that Viridian's men were using a separate network from both the Hilton operations network and the guest network.

Dang, he really did think of nearly everything.

Date, date! They are talking about raping one of their captives, these scum need to die with their boss.

The man who'd been studying his tablet glanced up. "Once we burn and get past geostationary orbit, Boss said we're going to thin out the captives. All but the women go."

Okay, slow torture before death for the lot of them. Yes, get the tablet and turn this horror show around.

"Never tell me the odds," Lanie shot back, in an insistent whisper. "So that's how Viridian detected the stealth shuttle," she mused. "He must have the data feed from Goddard's gravity anomaly mapping satellite."

At least now they know how he detected the stealth shuttle, it might help.

Yikes, eleven satellites that could detect the Tesla. And now getting that tablet is a matter of life and death for everyone aboard the Tesla. A small men's restroom, Lanie has her work cut out for her not getting caught. Well, that was quick, trying to explain what he saw later will cause confusion. Knows her way to core, just supposed to observe and collect data, what are the odds of that happening. Darn it, the lasers on the hotel exterior protected.

"If you tell me that Ah have to interrupt the power from the main reactor at one of seven locations, because a power loss at one of the terminals will disable the lasers, Ah'll make scrap out of your processor and memory!" Lanie snapped.

"Your display should include a rough schematic of the systems feeding power from the reactor to the lasers. And may I remind you that you are the one who usually uses trite movie quotes."

Viridian just has to make it cliche.

October 9th, 2016
The Apartment of Amelia Hartford, Berlin, NH

Sarah concerned because Jennifer fell out of the bed, spent the night at Hartford's place. Jennifer telling Sarah about her nightmare, still not realizing it is a memory. Nice to see Sarah standing up to Jennifer about not judging someone by their house.

"She said she was going to kill me! I...I fell off the building," Kelly whispered. "And I was falling and then I heard a voice, a little boy's voice shout 'Mom!' Then a giant bird caught me in midair and I heard the voice again say 'caught you!' or 'gotcha!' or something like that. Then I fell out of the bed and woke up."

Please let Junior be able to have connected to her.

Talk of children and a husband, yet she doesn't wish to lose Sarah, ouch. Okay, Sarah teasing about having a kid with Jennifer's husband she doesn't remember, things are complicated enough already. I hope Jennifer gets her memories of being Lanie back soon.

Still 2016, on the road back to Whateley if I recall correctly. Tansy waking up in the front seat of Kayda and Debra's 1957 Chevy Nomad, nice car. An hour out of Berlin and 2:12 in the morning, anyone else driving like that would save me out of my mind, Kayda having the training, experience, plus all that time learning from Lanie helps. *head meets desk* Tansy didn't tell Kayda she was pregnant when she renewed the magic ritual, good grief. Well, we know Tansy is having a girl now and she is okay according to Kayda.

Back in 2009 in the Hilton Orbital Casino and Hotel. All that intense focus and channeling of magic to disarm one of the bombs, how many bombs are there? They've disarmed all but 2 of the bombs but there is no time left, darn it! Crude, they have to choose which bomb to disarm, only enough essence for one more, this is very bad. One guard down by Lanie, a pistol shot by Lanie to take out the second guard, that is some pistol to make almost no sound.

October 9th, 2016
Playground, Whateley Special Needs Elementary Facility, Whateley Academy

"Lanie" back with Kayda and Debra, the children happy for the surprise.

Wyatt set about getting the charcoal grill, a massive former fifty-five gallon drum affair that was his pride and joy, going while the girls prepared the picnic table and the kids were shooed off to the playground and its castle-themed swing set.

Now that is a charcoal grill to take pride in. The Bartons there with Susan, a tea party with Connie, Susan, Valerie Barton and Aunt Debbie, and we get to meet Junior best friend. Nigel Kent is an interesting young man, plus how they became friends, glad to see a kid who knows when to stand up for others.

So Nigel manifested as a werewolf years early, interesting. Oh boy, talk with mom, I don't care if it is Tansy under a spell, she is still as much a mother to them as Lanie.

Wyatt forced a lopsided grin. "Well, what do you know about?" he asked, but the attempt at humor fell flat and his mother's face didn't soften.

Ooo, worse thing you can say to a parent when you are in trouble already.

Wyatt sighed and stared at his shoes. "We were looking for Grandma Carson." For the first time, her face softened and on it he could see that she was just as sad as he was about the loss of the great lady. She gathered her son into her arms and lap and hugged him tightly.

Dang, drain all the righteous anger right out of her.

Afraid whatever happened to Mrs. Carson and everyone else down there will happen to her kids, I would have set up force fields near all the entrances to that section of the tunnels so only those authorized can enter. A pinkie swear, the most serious of promises for a kid.

No punishments, just warnings, and promises. Kids their age need to learn without being too harsh on them. So they had been thinking about trying to figure out what happened to Mrs. Carson and the others themselves, they need more people with broad skillsets working on it. Something as bad as the Bastard coming, I would hope not. Cute how they flirt with each other.

2016 still, Sinibaldi's Restaurant in Berlin. Sarah and Jennifer going out to eat, talking over Hartford's offers. Researching Elaine Cody to know about who she is "supposed" to be, heh. Paid for an entry in Who's Who, hehe.

Kelly ate another french fry. "Please don't. Anyway, she has degrees in Aerospace, chemical and electrical engineering. According to Who's Who, she holds a record from Georgia Tech for defending three separate doctoral thesis in the same day."

And her middle name is Ethel, no wonder Lanie never brings up her middle name, at least that I can recall.

And details about Wyatt, plus a memory of a time with Tansy.

"The Jennifer Kelly I love," Williams replied, "She doesn't abandon her own."

That is one trait ingrained in her even amnesia couldn't remove. Food is good up here, wait until she gets to sample the stuff at the Crystal Hall.

Back to 2009 in the Hilton Orbital Casino and Hotel once more. Lord Paramount's troops on the hotel and spreading out, LP stopping Lanie from following them even though Lanie wishes to help Kayda. Telling her she has done enough, to fill him in on what she, Kayda, and Tansy have discovered.

"Ah confirmed it's a rail gun," she finally said. "Ah'd estimate it to be about eighty percent complete."

"Projectile size?"

"The projectiles Ah saw - at least two hundred of them - Ah'd estimate at two hundred kilograms each, give or take. Based on the size, Ah suspect they're tungsten cores, with an ablative, streamlined shield."

Good lord, that is scary. Hit with the equivalent energy of four thousand tons of TNT, a small tactical nuke, that is even scarier than I thought.

"Not if you're trying to get a solution on more than a dozen repeaters to spoof the radars, all of which are launched on different orbits, including one left on what the orbit was supposed to be." The redhead shook her head slowly. "Give him credit - he's not dumb."

This nightmare situation is getting worse and worse. A space colony from which to rule the world, this psychopath needs to be ended already. Whoa, with the adrenaline rush having worn off for a while all that fatigue hits Lanie at one.

Kayda's ghost-walking charms almost used up, running out right then has to be the worst timing possible, in front of guards. Tomahawk through the throat and down goes one guard, even with all that fatigue Kayda is a force. A lightning bolt from an activated charm, yet the 2nd guard still got a brief burst of RF out on his radio, rats.

Tansy having to reason with the exhausted, demoralized hostage, she might have the hardest task right now. Finally gets one of them helping her to have the hostages move from that compartment. Bullet through the face of one guard, only to have the hostages panic and make things more complicated. At least Tansy is able to adjust to it, takes out the second guard, only for an alarm siren to go off, the guard taking aim into the crowd instead of at Tansy, and two more guards showing up. When it rains, it pours.

Kayda trying to get the hostages away from the doors due to the bomb. Tansy takes another guard down, but still has two more and the panicked hostages to deal with. An explosion rushing into the compartment, a dozen hostages sucked out the hull breach, *sigh* Having to make a hard choice and close the section door to save as many as possible. Can't believe Tansy did that move to get to the control panel, yet nothing for her effort except she now has to struggle to save herself and a 5-year-old boy. Finally, the control panel works and the door starts to close, but 2 more are lost. I won't say it, I won't tempt fate at this point.

Oh crud, Kayda in that corridor with the hull rupture. Nice to see her original shield spell once again and it proved very useful. No response from Lanie, at least Tansy is able to respond or Kayda might have begun to panic. Good, Lord Paramount sending men and the Tesla's launch to get Kayda, worried there for a minute. Yet to lose more hostages, that probably hurts Kayda the most about all this right now.

Kayda with her parents and little sister, crying her eyes out, this ordeal has been a nightmare.

Kayda slowly shook her head. "Tell that to the families that lost someone. Tell that to the ones who died in space." She shook her head. "It wasn't good enough," she said, her voice dripping with self-recrimination. "I should have been faster disarming the bombs. I should have ...."

"You did far more than was expected," Lanie chided her gently. "Think about how many didn't die in the cold, dark vacuum of space. Think of how many families are spared a lot of pain."

Kayda looked up, gawking in disbelief at Lanie's words. "I didn't sign up to play God, to decide who lives and who dies!"

Lanie put her hands on Kayda's damp cheeks and turned her head slightly, so the two were face-to-face. "Cuwe, Viridan was going to kill all the men, the older women, and the children as soon as he boosted past geosynchronous orbit."

And this has Kayda leaving the team, focusing on helping out the People, knew the shock of this would force something to happen.

Lanie shook her head. "You're not mah friend," she said a bit sternly, enough that Kayda and her dad gasped. A smile dawned on her face and her eyes beamed. "You're mah cuwe, mah soul sister. You'll always be that, even if our lives go in different directions. No matter where Ah go, or where you go, there'll always be a place for you whenever you want to spend time."

Brought a tear to my eye with this.

Ouch, Tansy getting hit hard now that they have control of the station. And now we see the big drawback of having perfect recall, it includes everything and every detail, to recall all that of everyone she had to kill to survive and save lives, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Ouch, thinking it was her being like Old Tansy, no wonder it hit her so hard. Thinking she is a cold, cruel bitch still and just switched sides, I'm glad Mustang smacks some sense into her for thinking that.

The bathroom melted away into a Medieval Castle and by the fireplace the human form of Mustang hugged his host. "How many times must we go through this, child! When will you forgive yourself?"

"I can't!" she wailed as she buried her face into his chest. "Don't you see? I felt her! I know what I was doing and how! It's how I've always dealt with stress! Every time this happens, I'll slip a little bit more! I'll get a little weaker until I've backslid so far that..."

"Nonsense!" roared the spirit. "Do you think me impotent? That I would ever let you...?"

"I can't, Mustang!" she cried. "I can't risk it! I can't do this anymore! I thought I could, that I could make a difference, but I'm not! It's just the same but a different side!"

The spirit sighed and comforted his host. "Alright," he conceded. "We'll take a break. We'll spend time with Lanie and Grizzly and Kodiak, and just be for a while." Tansy raised her head off her knees, once more on the floor of a toilet in a space station. Come, Mustang whispered. Let's tell Lord Paramount.

This mission has taken its toll on all of them, poor Tansy.

Watching Viridian having a full Diedricks attack as he rants while hogtied and in an armlock. Glad that LP's Catamounts took down his loyal troops who didn't surrender.

Blue eyes met green ones. "He'll just keep doing this, won't he?" Lanie asked. "Bigger and more horrific than the last and even if we just gave him what he wants he would still..." She turned and looked out into the larger room for EVA prep where Kayda was comforting one of the surviving men whose wife and grandchild had been murdered and both of them were crying.

End this monster already.

"There is a reason the United Nations declared the killing of anyone on the A-List Threat to Humanity preemptively justified," Lord Paramount declared softly as he joined the girls by the airlock. "Not that it really matters, here, because we are the very definition of extra-territorial in Low Earth Orbit." His gauntlet clad hand reached out and stopped, hovering above the airlock control. "Shall I?"

Good to know about A-List Threat to Humanity supervillains.

"If you look to me for sympathy or mercy on behalf of this animal, your highness, you do so in vain," the spirit declared coldly. "Were he my prisoner, I would cure him of every illness of his body and mind to be certain he understood the evil he had done, then I would return that evil to him thrice folded with my knife! It would be a long time before I gave him over to death from my justice!" The man she had been consoling jumped up, obviously at the end of his mental rope.

When Wakan Tanka says this about someone, they have to be a real monster. *eyes bug out* Now there is a speech Tansy gave to Viridian, yet the psycho tries to twist it to his own favor to make Tansy his heir to his hatred, sick until the end.

Destroying all traces of the railgun along with Viridian's ships, good. And some of Viridian's men who knew his plans, etc. are dead, after what they went along with, what they did to the hostages they all deserve no mercy. Tansy wanting to quit all this, thinking they haven't done any good because there is always more evil out there, talk about drained. At least LP understands the need for Tansy to have a break from all this, instead of pushing her.

Kayda raised an eyebrow. "Well, I have been meaning to try and fund a Native American Cultural site and permanent lodge where the First Nations can come and have a real Congress..."

The Prince of Wallachia's smile widened. "Let me get my check book."

After this mission and who she almost lost, this is the least LP can do for Kayda and the People, imo.

The Honeymoon Suite for Lanie and Tansy, and it is impressive.

Every surface was soft padded, save the outer wall, which was the room's real selling point, it was a three meter by six meter wall of transparent aluminum. The remarkably strong, absolutely clear material could be struck perpendicular at orbital speeds by space junk and not even be scratched.

Transparent aluminum, now there is something I wish was real already.

"It will be alright," Lanie assured her as they held each other and looked out the huge window at the planet of their birth. "Come and stay with Wyatt and me in Georgia for a spell. Maybe even take some classes, Ah'm sure you could get into Tech or Emory if you wanted. We'll just learn for a bit and forget we can do these things."

If I recall Tansy took those Tech courses which is why she is can fake being Lanie so well. A great ending to a story that seemed like a nightmare for many involved for most of it.

It is hard for me to do a wrap-up style comment on this one. I loved seeing and learning how outer space has already begun to be opened to the public for over a decade now by the start of Gen 1. I loved learning about all the science and technology we got to see in the story, seeing the girls in action and putting what they learned into place. It was hard to watch all those innocents get spaced, you really gave us a true monster in Viridian, someone you could hate from the start and wished to see dead for his crimes before even halfway through the 1st part.

It was also nice to see Wyatt and "Lanie" dealing with the reveals about Junior and Connie. Especially treating them like the kids they are but expecting them to learn. Plus seeing the Bartons and Susan even just for a little while was great. Jennifer and Susan having to deal with the fallout of all the news of Jennifer's "past life", I hope everything works out for everyone involved, though I suspect there is going to be some pain involved even if for a time.

The trauma of this mission resulting in Kayda retiring from their team, plus Tansy taking a break, is to be expected. No one can go through dealing with such trauma, such high stakes and feeling any lives lost are their fault, without going through a change. I'm glad Viridian got his just end. I hope we see more of Lanie, Kayda, and Tansy's time between Gen 1 and 2016 in future stories.

Thank You for story comments appreciated and help me know me they are being read and liked.

Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.

6 years 7 months ago #47 by E. E. Nalley

E. E. Nalley

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Birthdate: 10 Mar 1970

Dreamer wrote: Transparent aluminum, now there is something I wish was real already.

Your wish is granted!

I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791

6 years 7 months ago - 6 years 7 months ago #48 by Schol-R-LEA

Schol-R-LEA

Posts: 1766

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Sir Lee wrote:
MM2ss wrote:
Sir Lee wrote: Who are you calling a Yanqui, you English-native-speaker, former-Brit-colony, descendant from Anglo-Saxons? My country had nothing to do with Skylab.

Looks like it is tea time for Sir Lee, might I suggest a nice herbal blend with some chamomile?
Sorry. I grew up back in the "Yanqis Go Home" era, I tried to make a joke of it but it obviously didn't work.

I'm not sure if CrazyMinh remembers (or ever knew) from whence you hail, Sir Lee (and to be fair, your written English is better than that of many native English speakers). Perhaps next time write your reply in Portuguese, and he might understand your point better. Or not; he might think you're from Europe if you do that, and then all hell would break loose.

CrazyMinh, I recommend you read Sir Lee's story "Mezzo" , it might prove Illuminating fnord.

Out, damnéd Spot! Bad Doggy!

Last Edit: 6 years 7 months ago by Schol-R-LEA.

6 years 7 months ago - 6 years 7 months ago #49 by CrazyMinh

CrazyMinh

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Schol-R-LEA wrote:
Sir Lee wrote:
MM2ss wrote:
Sir Lee wrote: Who are you calling a Yanqui, you English-native-speaker, former-Brit-colony, descendant from Anglo-Saxons? My country had nothing to do with Skylab.

Looks like it is tea time for Sir Lee, might I suggest a nice herbal blend with some chamomile?
Sorry. I grew up back in the "Yanqis Go Home" era, I tried to make a joke of it but it obviously didn't work.

I'm not sure if CrazyMinh remembers (or ever knew) from whence you hail, Sir Lee (and to be fair, your written English is better than that of many native English speakers). Perhaps next time write your reply in Portuguese, and he might understand your point better. Or not; he might think you're from Europe if you do that, and then all hell would break loose.

CrazyMinh, I recommend you read Sir Lee's story "Mezzo" , it might prove Illuminating fnord.

...

...

Really sorry about that. I hit the post button just as I remembered that he wasn't from the right country, Shit, so sorry Sir Lee. I made a joke, and then my brain caught up far too late.

I've been out for a while buying some cutlery because I've been using plastic knives and sporks to eat takeout food for the last two weeks. It's been interesting to see how much Chinese food one can eat before they get sick of it and order a Pizza instead.

Thankfully, Australia has a lot of Chinese immigrants, and there's a lot of Italian people here too. So we have some decent Chinese food, and our other array of foreign food isn't too bad either. We've got some killer seafood as well. In some cases, quite literally. Same goes for Kangaroos. though I've only ever seen like five of them and from inside a car as well. Don't believe every rumour about us. We're not JUST former convicts...

You can find my stories at Fanfiction.net here .

You can also check out my fanfiction guest riffs at Library of the Dammed

Last Edit: 6 years 7 months ago by CrazyMinh.

6 years 7 months ago #50 by Katssun

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For some reason, my two favorite bits in this part were Kayda plugging the hole with her shield bubble spell, and getting angry at Tansy for not telling her she was pregnant, until Deb had to intervene.

Is it weird that even though I wanted to see Viridian spaced, and slowly burn up on re-entry, or apparently starve to death first, that it brought me no pleasure? I ended up empathizing a lot more with Kayda and Tansy's perspectives. 'At what cost?' Lanie and Paramount both tried to comfort the both of them with the knowledge of how many they saved, both on the station and on Earth, but it didn't really help.

Kayda finally recognized she can't keep playing hero, and has to grow into her responsibilities. Tansy finally just wanted a break, because repenting just by switching sides doesn't give her the internal satisfaction that we see in her being a parent, made all the more evident by the contrasting personality shown in the matched 2016 segments within the story. I really would like to see even a little vignette or microscene of Tansy's set in the first few weeks at college.

JG mentioned that the focus on this story was supposed to be character development for the three girls, and you two (and the cabal editing team) have done so brilliantly.

6 years 7 months ago #51 by mhalpern

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I assume the Tesla was tracking the bodies for recovery, the families deserve that dignity

Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.

6 years 7 months ago #52 by MM2ss

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Going by the name and avatar I figured Sir Lee was a Brit, my bad.

6 years 7 months ago - 6 years 7 months ago #53 by Malady

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Story was great, if a bit confusing, with how 2009 and 2016 are mixed together, but it makes sense, showing how things changed from 2008 to 2016.

Tansy's thoughts, post-mission... Wow... Being that person really did a number on her... And she's still thinking that there are binary sides to the Hero-Villain thing...

On Kayda... How much good would she do as a hero, compared to being an "emissary to the People"? More lives saved, but less long-term impact? Or what?

... Are the Amigos the best at this space rescue thing, and leading to a larger loss of life by leaving the job?? Or were they just lucky to be there? ... Nothing to say they can't be called back together... Especially given how they might all be at Whateley...

And space protection is gonna get better as a result of this anyway...

The ending was sweet, compared to the higher drama and stuff of everything else!

----

"Were he my prisoner, I would cure him of every illness of his body and mind to be certain he understood the evil he had done, then I would return that evil to him thrice folded with my knife!"

Whoo... Like, how responsible are Diedricks cases for their actions??

Then again, ancient spirit talking and stuff.

...

"Nobody is really sure about your biology, but I hope this doesn't kill you. I hope you get to roast on one side and freeze on the other for weeks until you starve to death up here where even you can't hear you screaming!

Worse if he has the ability to absorb solar radiation and stuff, so he doesn't need to eat and gets stronger because of this.

Shooting him in the head and stuff is a lot more guaranteed.

Lol if he's smart enough to have planned for getting spaced, and I'm right. ... There's bio-modding available, anyway.

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Last Edit: 6 years 7 months ago by Malady.

6 years 7 months ago #54 by Anne

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Brr! Malady! You have a rotten imagination, or a very devious one anyway! Not dying!? Able to absorb radiation?! I quite agree if your speculation is correct they ought to have dismembered him while he was alive then removed his head and then burned and salted the ashes, then burned them again for good measure!!

Adopt my story: here
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6 years 7 months ago #55 by Malady

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Anne wrote: Brr! Malady! You have a rotten imagination, or a very devious one anyway! Not dying!? Able to absorb radiation?! I quite agree if your speculation is correct they ought to have dismembered him while he was alive then removed his head and then burned and salted the ashes, then burned them again for good measure!!

Well, expecting a villain to come back, when you've Never Found The Body is a good practice, in superhero worlds like this.

And, mutant biology allows for scenarios like my hypothesis.

Lol if next week's story involves him undergoing re-entry.

Archives: Rubberjohn's Fanfic + CrystalHall + Mittfh's Wordcount Spreadsheet

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6 years 7 months ago #56 by E. E. Nalley

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Yes, all of the victim bodies were recovered and Dr Diabolik even got some grudging appreciation both for his part in the rescue and his assistance in that recovery. No one trusts him, of course, but there is now that "Well, he did help with.." sort of an asterisk.

And yes, Malady, that is EVIL. I do love it! :evil:

I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791

6 years 7 months ago - 6 years 7 months ago #57 by Malady

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E. E. Nalley wrote: And yes, Malady, that is EVIL. I do love it!

Aww, thanks! But Tansy was just tempting fate, with a sentence like that. in both forms of "sentence"!

Archives: Rubberjohn's Fanfic + CrystalHall + Mittfh's Wordcount Spreadsheet

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Last Edit: 6 years 7 months ago by Malady.

6 years 7 months ago #58 by Anne

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Why I said they ought to have dismembered him, then burned the result to ashes, then salted the ashes and repeated.... I'm firmly of the belief that watching the body be destroyed is the only way that Viridian does not become Schrodinger's cat for some values of cat!

Adopt my story: here
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6 years 7 months ago #59 by null0trooper

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@Malady

Completely immersive virtual reality based on neural recordings + temporal dilation.

Ever wonder what it's like to be one of the unlucky ones just far enough from a kinetic strike to "survive" it?
Or, how about being spaced? (Let's run that again in slow motion! We missed that support beam last time.)
Or, what it's like to be a "comfort woman"?
... who's forced to bear triplets?
... 24 hours apart?

You won't any longer!

Not that we care.

Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.

WhatIF Stories: Buy the Book

Discussion Thread

6 years 7 months ago #60 by Malady

Malady

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null0trooper wrote: @Malady

Completely immersive virtual reality based on neural recordings + temporal dilation.

Ever wonder what it's like to be one of the unlucky ones just far enough from a kinetic strike to "survive" it?
Or, how about being spaced? (Let's run that again in slow motion! We missed that support beam last time.)
Or, what it's like to be a "comfort woman"?
... who's forced to bear triplets?
... 24 hours apart?

You won't any longer!

Not that we care.

Wut? ... Are we doing Evil-One-upmanship now?

Archives: Rubberjohn's Fanfic + CrystalHall + Mittfh's Wordcount Spreadsheet

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6 years 7 months ago #61 by null0trooper

null0trooper

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Malady wrote: Wut? ... Are we doing Evil-One-upmanship now?

Think of it as collusion.

Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.

WhatIF Stories: Buy the Book

Discussion Thread

6 years 7 months ago #62 by E. E. Nalley

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Collude in a different thread, please. This one is for Tears and Fears. Feel free to discuss that, however!

I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791

6 years 7 months ago #63 by Sir Lee

Sir Lee

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MM2ss wrote: Going by the name and avatar I figured Sir Lee was a Brit, my bad.

Common mistake, my fault really. The story goes like this: first came the (really bad, stolen from the movie Airplane) pun you can see at the bottom of all my messages. From that came the handle. And from that came the avatar. And I do like my Earl Grey...

Don't call me "Shirley." You will surely make me surly.

6 years 7 months ago #64 by Kettlekorn

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Malady wrote: On Kayda... How much good would she do as a hero, compared to being an "emissary to the People"? More lives saved, but less long-term impact? Or what?

The math doesn't really matter, because the fact is that Kayda isn't a free agent. She belongs to Wakan Tanka, who has invested a lot in her. She can choose to disregard that and focus on the big picture of humanity rather than Wakan Tanka's racially oriented goals, but there would be consequences. She's been leaning on a lot of spirits to help her heroics, but how many of them are going to continue to support her if she neglects the job that she accepted?

Malady wrote: Whoo... Like, how responsible are Diedricks cases for their actions??

Diedrick's Syndrome is not a continuous state of mind. It's episodic. During the rational state between episodes, there are many choices that a person can make. One such choice is to, upon recognizing the danger they pose to society, check themselves into some kind of institution that can contain them. A second choice would be to remove the threat via suicide. Another choice would be hire somebody to watch them and restrain them if they get out of control.

If you recognize that you are a danger to society yet neglect to take reasonable precautions, then yes, you are responsible for anything you do while dricking out.

I am the kernel that pops in the night. I am the pain that keeps your dentist employed.

6 years 6 months ago #65 by joreymay

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CrazyMinh wrote: - This is a nitpick, but why did the crew of that stealth ship need to paint the hull black (apart from the need to absorb radar returns)? Eyeballing a object in space is pointless, .... Case in point: even if there were cameras, there's literally no point to painting the hull that black. You don't need to blend in, as finding you would be almost impossible even IF the hull wasn't already pitch black. In fact, you could have just painted it with a grey radar absorbing paint, like most fighter craft use today.

The few advantages of black come in relatively close proximity against a black background. Both the MK 1 eyeball and most video systems have a hard time finding edges black on black. Among other things, that is why magicians like it so much. Maybe only a few seconds to a few minutes of relative advantage, but advantage nontheless.

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