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Question The Quantum Suicides pt 1

6 years 3 months ago #1 by Yolandria
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  • More Gen 2 goodness. Post your comments in the sections below.

    Mistress of the shelter for lost and redeemable Woobies!
    6 years 3 months ago - 6 years 3 months ago #2 by Malady
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  • Whooo! It's here! Sooo good!

    ----

    Speers falling in love! So sweet!

    ----

    Wait, where was it said that all three of them are mutants? Or are they Origins, or at least not confirmed to have the full MGC?

    We never really mentioned it, but your situation may be as volatile as Ches's or Marcus's. If the box did trigger their mutations, then the same might happen to you, and manifestation later in life is both rare and very dangerous.


    ----

    Small Spoilers for Part 2 [ Click to expand ]


    ----

    So, a month until the presentation...
    Last Edit: 6 years 3 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 3 months ago #3 by Wasamon
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  • It's more-or-less assumed at first to be mutations for Chessa and Marcus, largely because they're in the right age range and it's uncertain whether or not they would have mutated anyway. Testing occurred mostly off-camera, but is referred to in several parts of the second half.

    In Myra's case, it's definitely an Origin event that made her a mutant.

    Also, in before anyone asks, but Pat's origin tale is separate from the rest. They end up together at the end of his story, "Keeping Cool" (coming soonish!), and the family dynamic gels in the as-yet-unwritten third episode of their collective story, pre-Whateley.
    6 years 3 months ago - 6 years 3 months ago #4 by Malady
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  • Wait, so we've got 3 Dragon-people at Whateley? Maidenclaw, Dragonsfyre, and Dragonblade...

    *shrugs*

    ----

    Wasamon wrote: Also, in before anyone asks, but Pat's origin tale is separate from the rest. They end up together at the end of his story, "Keeping Cool" (coming soonish!), and the family dynamic gels in the as-yet-unwritten third episode of their collective story, pre-Whateley.


    Thanks for the answer!

    Hmm... "Barnes Family 3" has the month of August to happen, given the time between the presentation, and the start of Whateley Classes...

    What will happen in a month? So many possibilities!

    Also, yay! "Keeping Cool" is arriving, and gonna be finished!

    ----

    Punny title WMGs for Barnes Family 3 [ Click to expand ]
    Last Edit: 6 years 3 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 3 months ago #5 by null0trooper
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  • I think a couple of the date/time headers may be a bit off:

    The Quantum Suicides wrote: --- Senate Committee Meeting, Wednesday, August 13th, 2014

    --- Monday, June 23rd, 2014


    ...unless there's more time travel scheduled.

    The Quantum Suicides wrote: "That was quick," said Speers. "He passed out so suddenly that his monitor sent me an alert. Was everything alright?"
    "He was just worn out, I think. Lots of excitement today. I sat with him a bit and sang an old lullaby of mine. Worked like a charm. 'La-la-li-la-li-la-ho-ma...'" she hummed. "Heh, hadn't thought of it in years. I used to sing it to my host family's daughter, back in Chiba. Worked then, too." She had another bite of ice cream, suddenly pensive. "Wow, Rimi-chan's got to be like twenty-eight now. How time flies."
    "What tune was that?" asked Ella.
    "The opening theme to the Dragon Quest game series. Her brother and I made it up by taking the syllables in the game's sleep spell and jumbling them around. Tak-kun's thirty-six by now... wow, do I feel old..."


    Worked like a charm, hm?:lol:

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    6 years 3 months ago #6 by Angeldude
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  • NO CLONING THEOREM!

    Insanity: for when normal just isn't interesting enough.
    All ideas free to use. You can probably make better use of them than me.
    6 years 3 months ago #7 by Wasamon
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  • null0trooper wrote: I think a couple of the date/time headers may be a bit off:

    The Quantum Suicides wrote: --- Senate Committee Meeting, Wednesday, August 13th, 2014

    --- Monday, June 23rd, 2014


    ...unless there's more time travel scheduled.


    Goshdarnit, you'd think after sitting on these stories for four and a half years, I'd have caught all the dating errors...
    6 years 3 months ago #8 by Wasamon
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  • Angeldude wrote: NO CLONING THEOREM!


    In all fairness:

    1) Schrodinger Maxwell was pretty far off his meds, and

    2) this is certainly not the sort of cloning that the physicists who developed that theorem had in mind
    6 years 3 months ago #9 by Dreamer
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  • SPOILER ALERT
    Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.

    The Quantum Suicides, first half comments
    Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]

    Thank You for story comments appreciated and help me know me they are being read and liked. :-) Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
    6 years 3 months ago #10 by null0trooper
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  • I suppose it doesn't hurt to keep the spoiler.
    Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]

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    6 years 3 months ago #11 by mhalpern
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  • so is Ella one of THE Wilkins?

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    6 years 3 months ago #12 by joreymay
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  • Waitaminnit... wasn't this (or some version thereof) published some time ago?
    6 years 3 months ago - 6 years 3 months ago #13 by Malady
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  • joreymay wrote: Waitaminnit... wasn't this (or some version thereof) published some time ago?


    Yes, this is a fanfic import.

    ----

    In other news, Marcus takes Dr. Speer's codename.

    So what's Dr. Speer's new codename, and does Marcus have similar powers to Doc Speers, as they shared a codemame??

    ----

    Also, Ice Cream Machine appears!

    ----

    Dr. Speers' mother seems like a big looming mystery, Ella knows her, and seems like she was a teacher...

    WMG: Myra meeting his parents in the future?

    Then there's her parents... Wait, are they dead?

    Yes, ""They got caught in a bio-terror attack back in the mid-90s. It was quick, at least.""
    Last Edit: 6 years 3 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 3 months ago #14 by Katssun
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  • So I started reading this before it dawned on my who it was about.

    OMG. Thank you for indulging my unintentionally selfish and rude request to have more background on the Barnes'

    I was only about halfway through this segment when it all clicked.

    The appearances of the Barnes'. Their family unit. Their closeness and support of each other. Why they so readily help others who struggle. Why they don't tolerate bullying. Why they are nurturing, patient, and kind. It all fit for me.

    My best guess for why it all fell together at once? The consistency of each character in the stories. They're written as complete people, and once you get to know them better, it all strings together.

    The bonus was the explanation of the Schimmelhorn effect in comparison to devisors. Now Kessel the rest of the Groenwalds, and Erica's lineage makes more sense too.
    6 years 3 months ago #15 by Ametros
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  • I was a bit slow to the draw in that it only clicked when Barnes & Noble was brought up.

    Regarding the committee meeting framing this story, unless I misinterpreted it, Dr Speer wants the project to be terminated? I can only assume that there are concerns about the three for three record of origins/mutants resulting from this, which combined with the unavoidable trauma inherent in the subjects of the devise... Is dangerous in the best of circumstances.

    Further on Dr Speers, he seems to have missed Myra already showing symptoms - those being the headaches and the gold flecks in her blue eyes - but he's rather infatuated, so it's understandable.

    As to the codename, IIRC Whateley allows for temporary/legacy codenames which are valid no later than graduation wherein an unused name must be selected. Of course, it's generally a good idea to avoid doing so at all as the original owner likely wouldn't take kindly to such, unless they know each other.

    Seriously, thank you for your time and effort. It is appreciated.
    6 years 3 months ago #16 by Wasamon
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  • Katssun wrote: So I started reading this before it dawned on my who it was about.

    OMG. Thank you for indulging my unintentionally selfish and rude request to have more background on the Barnes'

    I was only about halfway through this segment when it all clicked.

    The appearances of the Barnes'. Their family unit. Their closeness and support of each other. Why they so readily help others who struggle. Why they don't tolerate bullying. Why they are nurturing, patient, and kind. It all fit for me.

    My best guess for why it all fell together at once? The consistency of each character in the stories. They're written as complete people, and once you get to know them better, it all strings together.

    The bonus was the explanation of the Schimmelhorn effect in comparison to devisors. Now Kessel the rest of the Groenwalds, and Erica's lineage makes more sense too.


    In reference to something Kristin said on the Dorms thread...

    This. This is what vindication feels like :side:

    Like I said, this is something I've been sitting on a long time, because I wanted to get the main plot to the point where people actually started to ask about the side characters. So, thanks for the prompt that led to me putting this in for consideration.
    6 years 3 months ago #17 by Wasamon
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  • mhalpern wrote: so is Ella one of THE Wilkins?


    She wasn't intended to be, though that would possibly explain a few things.
    6 years 3 months ago - 6 years 3 months ago #18 by konzill
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  • "He was just worn out, I think. Lots of excitement today. I sat with him a bit and sang an old lullaby of mine. Worked like a charm.


    Did Myra accidently cast a sleep spell?

    More generally I liked this story. My only gripe was Senate Committee scenes. the first one smelled like an info dump, so I skipped them. I have to note that the story remained quite inteligable without them.
    Last Edit: 6 years 3 months ago by konzill.
    6 years 3 months ago #19 by Anne
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  • Wasamon wrote:

    mhalpern wrote: so is Ella one of THE Wilkins?


    She wasn't intended to be, though that would possibly explain a few things.

    My take on this was no she is not a member of the Wilkins clan. All of the ones we have met outside of (possibly) Jobe's uncle who is the ambassador come of as self-centered gits to the max, I do not read any of that vibe in Ella whatsoever.
    Just my $0.02
    6 years 3 months ago #20 by mhalpern
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  • Anne wrote:

    Wasamon wrote:

    mhalpern wrote: so is Ella one of THE Wilkins?


    She wasn't intended to be, though that would possibly explain a few things.

    My take on this was no she is not a member of the Wilkins clan. All of the ones we have met outside of (possibly) Jobe's uncle who is the ambassador come of as self-centered gits to the max, I do not read any of that vibe in Ella whatsoever.
    Just my $0.02


    Could be a separate branch... Still, it was my first thought...

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    6 years 3 months ago #21 by null0trooper
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  • mhalpern wrote: Could be a separate branch... Still, it was my first thought...

    http://howmanyofme.com/search/ wrote:
    There are 68,309 people in the U.S. with the last name Wilkins.
    Statistically the 532nd most popular last name.


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    6 years 3 months ago #22 by XaltatunOfAcheron
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  • I note that Dr. Speers gives a description of the Gadgeteer and Devisor (and Schimelhorn Engineer as well) that's a bit at variance with the descriptions we've seen in the past.

    Is this now canon, or should we assume that it's from the fan-fic version that wasn't rewritten? Frankly, it makes more sense than the current articles on Devisors and Gadgeteers.
    6 years 3 months ago #23 by Kettlekorn
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  • Oh, good. This story's waveform has finally collapsed again. Just in time, too, because that other webserial I follow has been grim lately and I needed a pick me up. Dork and Mucus playing ball were just what the doctor ordered.

    The Quantum Suicides, first half wrote: Myra caught the Game Boy as it fell from his fingers, hit the pause button, and set it down on the table.

    I love that she thinks to hit the pause button. These kids are in good hands.

    The Quantum Suicides, first half wrote: Senator Ashkettle raised a hand. In front of him, his notepad was filled with scribbled equations.

    Now I am become canon, infiltrator of works.

    I am the kernel that pops in the night. I am the pain that keeps your dentist employed.
    6 years 3 months ago #24 by Anne
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  • null0trooper wrote:

    mhalpern wrote: Could be a separate branch... Still, it was my first thought...

    http://howmanyofme.com/search/ wrote:
    There are 68,309 people in the U.S. with the last name Wilkins.
    Statistically the 532nd most popular last name.

    I'm not saying that my first thought on hearing her last name wasn't, 'When is Gizmatic, or Jobe going to be butting into this?' but I began to dismiss that as I saw her taking if not an interest, at least a solid supportive stance for the people pulled out of the quantum defibrillator....
    6 years 3 months ago #25 by Wasamon
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  • Kettlekorn wrote:

    The Quantum Suicides, first half wrote: Senator Ashkettle raised a hand. In front of him, his notepad was filled with scribbled equations.

    Now I am become canon, infiltrator of works.


    Haha, and thanks for the original critique of concept, back in... 2013? 2014?

    XaltatunOfAcheron wrote: I note that Dr. Speers gives a description of the Gadgeteer and Devisor (and Schimelhorn Engineer as well) that's a bit at variance with the descriptions we've seen in the past.

    Is this now canon, or should we assume that it's from the fan-fic version that wasn't rewritten? Frankly, it makes more sense than the current articles on Devisors and Gadgeteers.


    More like it's his personal view on the matter, remembering that he isn't a powers wonk but rather the one with the power, and a lot of his base information would've been gleaned between 1994 and 1998, when he was in Whateley. As with everything else, it's to be taken with a grain of salt, but it fits with the way he views the world.
    6 years 3 months ago #26 by null0trooper
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  • Anne wrote:

    null0trooper wrote:

    mhalpern wrote: Could be a separate branch... Still, it was my first thought...

    http://howmanyofme.com/search/ wrote:
    There are 68,309 people in the U.S. with the last name Wilkins.
    Statistically the 532nd most popular last name.

    I'm not saying that my first thought on hearing her last name wasn't, 'When is Gizmatic, or Jobe going to be butting into this?' but I began to dismiss that as I saw her taking if not an interest, at least a solid supportive stance for the people pulled out of the quantum defibrillator....


    Having the ability to demonstrate baseline empathy around normal humans does radically reduce the likelihood :)

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    6 years 3 months ago #27 by Anne
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  • Oh dear there is a problem with the story. You start out on Saturday, Aug 13, 2016 (wonders how the heck they got Senators to work on a SATURDAY!?!?) about midway down the page after we meet Ches for the first time we are back at the Senate hearing and it is still Aug 13, but you have the day of the week as Wednesday... The correct day of the week for 13 Aug, 2016 does happen to be Saturday... :-p
    6 years 3 months ago #28 by Wasamon
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  • >_<;

    I suppose it's to be expected, since the original draft had the dates set at summer 2007, then got switched over to 2014 after the initial Gen2 announcement, and then switched to 2016 after the revised announcement...

    Just should've paid better attention on my last check through. *sigh*

    At least "Keeping Cool" only got switched from 2014 to 2016 halfway through the first draft, so I'm definitely sure the dates are all correct with that one.
    6 years 3 months ago #29 by Anne
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  • Sheesh! with all that going on, it is a wonder that you didn't have more temporal distortion!
    6 years 2 months ago #30 by CrazyMinh
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  • It’s Geordi, not Miles

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    6 years 2 months ago #31 by CrazyMinh
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  • You misreferenced the TNG episode “Relics”. It’s Geordi who pulls Scotty out of the jury-rigged stasis tube, not O’Brian. Miles isn’t part of the away mission in that episode. In fact, a better analogy would be the first season episode “the neutral zone” which involves people cryogenically frozen after they died being brought back to life.

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    6 years 2 months ago #32 by CrazyMinh
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  • CrazyMinh wrote: You misreferenced the TNG episode “Relics”. It’s Geordi who pulls Scotty out of the jury-rigged stasis tube, not O’Brian. Miles isn’t part of the away mission in that episode. In fact, a better analogy would be the first season episode “the neutral zone” which involves people cryogenically frozen after they died being brought back to life.

    Or the episode where Riker meets a transporter clone of himself.

    You could have also referenced GantZ, but I guess manga may be too obscure. Oh, or this great Aussie TV show called Glitch. Or another TV show called Parallelax that was on ABC when I was in High School. Or Minority report. Or even that episode of Doctor Who where they bring back Clara...oh shit that was in late 2016, and I’m not sure we’ve got to that point in WU history yet.

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    6 years 2 months ago - 6 years 2 months ago #33 by Sir Lee
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  • They do reference the "Two Rikers" episode.

    I don't remember what Myra's powers are from the other stories (in fact, I read this real late at night and didn't twig at all it was about the Barnes siblings), but I built my own epileptic tree regarding those:
    I assumed that Myra is a projective empath, and has manifested quite early after being brought back, but nobody noticed it. Due to her personality, she tends to project comforting feelings for the people around her, which explains why everybody likes her. And... it also influences Speers into having more normal feelings at all.

    Re Ella Wilkins... she might or might not be related to Jobe. But, if you decide she is, well, I would suggest having her being the estranged daughter of Gladys. That would give her a background in healthcare and experience with the gadg/dev obsessive mindset. As for her lacking the typically egocentric mindset of the Wilkins, well, she could have taken after her father. Who never married Gladys (maybe Gizmatic killed the guy for "despoiling" his "kid sister?"), so that explains her having her mother's maiden surname.

    Don't call me "Shirley." You will surely make me surly.
    Last Edit: 6 years 2 months ago by Sir Lee.
    6 years 2 months ago - 6 years 2 months ago #34 by Malady
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  • Is the name of Myra's whatever, "Johnathan Green", with two "a"-s, or is the story correct with its uncommon "Johnathon Green", with two "o"-s?
    Last Edit: 6 years 2 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 2 months ago #35 by Wasamon
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  • CrazyMinh wrote:

    CrazyMinh wrote: You misreferenced the TNG episode “Relics”. It’s Geordi who pulls Scotty out of the jury-rigged stasis tube, not O’Brian. Miles isn’t part of the away mission in that episode. In fact, a better analogy would be the first season episode “the neutral zone” which involves people cryogenically frozen after they died being brought back to life.

    Or the episode where Riker meets a transporter clone of himself.

    You could have also referenced GantZ, but I guess manga may be too obscure. Oh, or this great Aussie TV show called Glitch. Or another TV show called Parallelax that was on ABC when I was in High School. Or Minority report. Or even that episode of Doctor Who where they bring back Clara...oh shit that was in late 2016, and I’m not sure we’ve got to that point in WU history yet.


    Well, first keep in mind that at this point, Myra's been a citizen of the 21st century for all of a week, which is nowhere near enough time to catch up on every sci-fi show she's missed. Dr. Who was still in the middle of its great hiatus when she checked out. Also, she'd want to keep it within the area of stuff that Marcus could probably identify from the early 90s.

    So, thank you for finding the single most mistaken word used in the story. Care to comment on the 30,000 other words?
    6 years 2 months ago #36 by Wasamon
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  • Sir Lee wrote: They do reference the "Two Rikers" episode.

    I don't remember what Myra's powers are from the other stories (in fact, I read this real late at night and didn't twig at all it was about the Barnes siblings), but I built my own epileptic tree regarding those:
    I assumed that Myra is a projective empath, and has manifested quite early after being brought back, but nobody noticed it. Due to her personality, she tends to project comforting feelings for the people around her, which explains why everybody likes her. And... it also influences Speers into having more normal feelings at all.

    Re Ella Wilkins... she might or might not be related to Jobe. But, if you decide she is, well, I would suggest having her being the estranged daughter of Gladys. That would give her a background in healthcare and experience with the gadg/dev obsessive mindset. As for her lacking the typically egocentric mindset of the Wilkins, well, she could have taken after her father. Who never married Gladys (maybe Gizmatic killed the guy for "despoiling" his "kid sister?"), so that explains her having her mother's maiden surname.


    Readers-surprised-by-Barneses Count: 4

    Myra's powers:
    Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]
    6 years 2 months ago #37 by Wasamon
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  • Malady wrote: Is the name of Myra's whatever, "Johnathan Green", with two "a"-s, or is the story correct with its uncommon "Johnathon Green", with two "o"-s?


    Correct as written.
    6 years 2 months ago - 6 years 2 months ago #38 by Malady
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  • Wasamon wrote: Myra's powers:

    Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]



    Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]


    Thanks for the response on my Name question!

    Gonna hold out on giving him a Wiki Article until Monday night, since I think the second half should have more to add, unless the "He pushed her off the boat", implication, stays unanalysed and stuff.

    Also, he seems high society, and stuff... And is also still alive... He's like the only person connected to anyone who came back, who'd likely be so??

    I guess he was the one who reported her death, as well... SUSPICIOUS...

    Lololol if he's got a 16 yr old daughter at Whateley, or something.

    There's also the "Mothers are changed by their child's DNA", bit of new science, so she might've mutated if she hadn't died... WMG. Not like we'd know.

    ----

    On the mystery ice cream devise [ Click to expand ]
    Last Edit: 6 years 2 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 2 months ago #39 by Wasamon
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  • I wouldn't worry about adding Johnathon just yet. He gets pretty much no extra mention for the foreseeable future.

    Also, next QS update is the 28th, from what I can see on the queue. Expect something from someone else tomorrow :)

    As for the ice cream machine, the one Speers has is the prototype, while the one at the Crystal Hall (Dorms 3) is a refined model with about a few magnitudes fewer possibilities. In the case of a total bungle, the ice cream can be recycled back into the machine, because hey, it doesn't need to follow normal concepts of input/output. Also, I'd imagine that a lot of the codebook was filled in through games of Russian ice cream roulette.
    6 years 2 months ago - 6 years 2 months ago #40 by Malady
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  • Wasamon wrote: I wouldn't worry about adding Johnathon just yet. He gets pretty much no extra mention for the foreseeable future.

    Also, next QS update is the 28th, from what I can see on the queue. Expect something from someone else tomorrow :)

    As for the ice cream machine, the one Speers has is the prototype, while the one at the Crystal Hall (Dorms 3) is a refined model with about a few magnitudes fewer possibilities. In the case of a total bungle, the ice cream can be recycled back into the machine, because hey, it doesn't need to follow normal concepts of input/output. Also, I'd imagine that a lot of the codebook was filled in through games of Russian ice cream roulette.


    Okay, making the page, so we have one less Wanted Page on the Wiki.

    Thanks for the info!

    Wait, so Speers made that Ice Cream Machine? It's a Gadget? Not a Devise? Or he just knows how to improve it?

    I thought that the Ice Cream Machine was something LONGSHOT installed, or something installed by a previous owner of the location, or Speers repaired, not made. ... But Speers has no Focus, so he could make anything?
    Last Edit: 6 years 2 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 2 months ago #41 by Katssun
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  • Malady wrote: Wait, so Speers made that Ice Cream Machine? It's a Gadget? Not a Devise? Or he just knows how to improve it?

    I thought that the Ice Cream Machine was something LONGSHOT installed, or something installed by a previous owner of the location, or Speers repaired, not made. ... But Speers has no Focus, so he could make anything?

    Isn't he mentioned somewhere in Dorms Whichever? I'm not sure where, but QS is not the first time we've heard his name.

    I believe he works there, somewhere. Was it part of the rapid staff refills?
    6 years 2 months ago - 6 years 2 months ago #42 by Malady
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  • Katssun wrote:

    Malady wrote: Wait, so Speers made that Ice Cream Machine? It's a Gadget? Not a Devise? Or he just knows how to improve it?

    I thought that the Ice Cream Machine was something LONGSHOT installed, or something installed by a previous owner of the location, or Speers repaired, not made. ... But Speers has no Focus, so he could make anything?

    Isn't he mentioned somewhere in Dorms Whichever? I'm not sure where, but QS is not the first time we've heard his name.

    I believe he works there, somewhere. Was it part of the rapid staff refills?


    Yes, Dorms 4.4, as "Ms. Barnes's boyfriend, Dr. Speers". I'm presuming that he is living with her, and the rest of her / their family, in a house in The Village, but nothing's been confirmed on that front.

    We also don't know if he's working for Whateley? I'd assume so, though.

    ----

    Oh, and 4.3 as well:

    Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]


    And is confirmed as a teacher in Dorms 3... Sigh... I feel inattentive... More for the former, than the latter.

    Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]
    Last Edit: 6 years 2 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 2 months ago - 6 years 2 months ago #43 by Kettlekorn
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  • Malady wrote: Yes, Dorms 4.4, as "Ms. Barnes's boyfriend, Dr. Speers". I'm presuming that he is living with her, and the rest of her / their family, in a house in The Village, but nothing's been confirmed on that front.

    Myra has a room in Poe, just like Pat, Marcus, and Chessa. I believe Derek's residence is still unstated.

    Dorms of Our Lives, Season 4 (Part 3) wrote: "And like, four Poesies too," Chessa added. "Big sis keeps a room in Poe," she explained. "For Marcus's sake, since he's still a bit messed up."


    I am the kernel that pops in the night. I am the pain that keeps your dentist employed.
    Last Edit: 6 years 2 months ago by Kettlekorn.
    6 years 2 months ago #44 by CrazyMinh
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  • Wasamon wrote:

    Sir Lee wrote: They do reference the "Two Rikers" episode.

    I don't remember what Myra's powers are from the other stories (in fact, I read this real late at night and didn't twig at all it was about the Barnes siblings), but I built my own epileptic tree regarding those:
    I assumed that Myra is a projective empath, and has manifested quite early after being brought back, but nobody noticed it. Due to her personality, she tends to project comforting feelings for the people around her, which explains why everybody likes her. And... it also influences Speers into having more normal feelings at all.

    Re Ella Wilkins... she might or might not be related to Jobe. But, if you decide she is, well, I would suggest having her being the estranged daughter of Gladys. That would give her a background in healthcare and experience with the gadg/dev obsessive mindset. As for her lacking the typically egocentric mindset of the Wilkins, well, she could have taken after her father. Who never married Gladys (maybe Gizmatic killed the guy for "despoiling" his "kid sister?"), so that explains her having her mother's maiden surname.


    Readers-surprised-by-Barneses Count: 4

    Myra's powers:
    Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]


    Make that 5

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    6 years 2 months ago #45 by Wasamon
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  • CrazyMinh wrote:
    Make that 5



    Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha.
    6 years 2 months ago #46 by null0trooper
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  • With part the second half up, a couple of oopses:

    Another time-slip:

    "Agent Sevcik, interview with Ms. Myra Barnes, July eighth, two thousand fourteen. Five forty pee-em," she enunciated clearly. "Okay, this is the standard interview required for an emergent mutant, as per various acts of congress. Would you like me to state the particulars, or shall we get down to it?"



    Under --Derek--, ~3/5 of the way in, this paragraph:

    He wasn't sure when he'd begun to think of Marcus less as a test subject and more as a student. As strange as it sounded, he was a role model for the boy, as close a thing to a big brother as Marcus now had. Derek was an only child, and he'd never quite gotten how a larger family dynamic might feel, but on the drive in he'd had a twinge, an inkling of what it was like. Somehow, some way, Derek Speers had gotten himself a little brother to watch over. Well, in a manner of speaking. Similarly, it was hard not to view Chessa as a little sister. Myra... was complicated, for many reasons. He hadn't yet sorted out all his feelings there.[/query]

    appears twice.




    So instead of swinging high like it expected, she swung low, a golfer's drive, down and then up again, right into the crotch of the beast. She could feel a crunch, and heard the high-pitched howl of pain


    The rising J shot. Accept no substitutes! ;)


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    6 years 2 months ago #47 by Wasamon
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  • Fixed, with all due embarrassment.
    6 years 2 months ago #48 by CrazyMinh
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  • Erm...

    ...

    ...

    That half had a massive change of tone. OK. Right. GS mate.

    ...

    ...I'm actually floored right now, and that doesn't happen often.

    Ok, actual review time <cracks knuckles>

    The bad
    The pacing was slightly off, Chessa was kinda OOC for the second half, and was maybe too hyperactive to be believable; the characters mastered their powers a bit too quickly; I really didn't expect Boggart to be evil; no foreshadowing for that. Chessa also a bit too enthusiastic, not really any trauma which really is the human response, also her lines are a bit cringey and OOT. Other than that, not really anything else.

    The good
    Characters got a bit more fleshed out, mainly Myra; interesting to see that Speers is a classic gadgeteer when it comes to making a car (Q would be very proud); Nice to see Ella as more than a caretaker, although she's not quite a Ripley; seems like all the Barnes are game inspired (Marcus = Megaman; Myra = Dragon Quest; Chessa = DnD) which was a amusing nod; Honest to god did not know there was such a thing as light-based sneezing, going to have to look that one up;

    The Interesting:
    - Dragon-blooded Sorcerers (the only thing I could find after searching fruitlessly through the tattered 2e through 4e manuals that I had thankfully stored in my old apartment's basement prior to the fire) are a 3.5e homebrew class, and are not official. The closest there is is to 'Dragonblooded' is the Bahamut Cult Dragonborn from 3.5e, featured in Races of the Dragon, a official splatbook. They were also known as 'Dragonborn' then, prior to the official debut of the race in the 4th edition of the game. 5e also has dragonborn, although they're more reptilian, as with the 4e dragonborn.

    In any case, Chessa probably played a 3.5e RotD Dragonborn, although that's stretching things a bit. Interestingly, they are humans turned into Dragonborn via crawling inside a giant egg and staying in there for quite a while. That's the thing that lead me to believe that Wassamon is referring to this type of dragon humanoid, with a mistake relating to name.

    - I also did a quick search for D&D edition dates, and it initially boggled me (pardon the pun) that Chessa and her original gaming group were playing 3.5 in the era of 4e. Then, I remembered the rampant discontent for 4th Edition, what with the incessant need for Hasbro to make WotC sell fucking minis to play the game right, the ridiculous amount of cheese that the edition introduced, and my god this is dredging up bad memories. It took AGES just to set up a bloody encounter, and you needed to trawl through thirty odd fucking splatbooks to find one damm rule, and my god I'm glad I decided that I'd try 5th Edition. SOOOOO much simpler than messing around with bloody 4e. 3.5e wasn't THAT much better though, and 3e itself was rife with issues. Admittedly, 3.5 was kinda before my time, and I've only played a few games out of interest.

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    6 years 2 months ago #49 by null0trooper
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  • CrazyMinh wrote: The pacing was slightly off, Chessa was kinda OOC for the second half, and was maybe too hyperactive to be believable; the characters mastered their powers a bit too quickly; I really didn't expect Boggart to be evil; no foreshadowing for that. Chessa also a bit too enthusiastic, not really any trauma which really is the human response, also her lines are a bit cringey and OOT. Other than that, not really anything else.


    Chessa is OOC in her own origin story? As to her hyperactivity being unbelievable, I'd recommend getting to know more people with ADHD. Her powers are largely point-and-blast. No sign of improbable aiming skills or fine control in this story. Pro-tip: Not every human has the same personality, nor will they adopt the same coping mechanisms as you. Also, teenage RPG geeks can say some "cringey" things at times.

    Marcus is a devisor and just did what devisors do, with more adult supervision than most devisors get.

    Myra had years of taking in frameworks for using magic (In a universe with magic, those spells could have had a basis in reality), this is just the first time she gets to use it. The first spell goes off with no control.

    CrazyMinh wrote: Dragon-blooded Sorcerers (the only thing I could find after searching fruitlessly through the tattered 2e through 4e manuals that I had thankfully stored in my old apartment's basement prior to the fire) are a 3.5e homebrew class, and are not official. The closest there is is to 'Dragonblooded' is the Bahamut Cult Dragonborn from 3.5e, featured in Races of the Dragon, a official splatbook. They were also known as 'Dragonborn' then, prior to the official debut of the race in the 4th edition of the game. 5e also has dragonborn, although they're more reptilian, as with the 4e dragonborn.


    Unlike "The Book of Nine Swords" and "The Book of Vile Darkness", the d20 System Reference Documents are usually acceptable to GMs familiar with DnD 3.5 and Pathfinder. There's draconic and half-dragon templates in canon 3.5, along with dragonfire adepts who get dragon-touched at Level 1.

    Or you could open page 75 of the Pathfinder Core Rulebook for draconic bloodline sorcerors.

    Or you could build your own dragon-thing using the Advanced Races Guide.

    CrazyMinh wrote: Admittedly, 3.5 was kinda before my time, and I've only played a few games out of interest.


    Many people who liked 3.5 and didn't want to wait until 4 died the death it deserved moved over to Pathfinder, which was intended to be largely compatible with 3.5 rules.

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    6 years 2 months ago - 6 years 2 months ago #50 by CrazyMinh
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  • null0trooper wrote: As to her hyperactivity being unbelievable, I'd recommend getting to know more people with ADHD.


    ...

    ...

    ...I've never mentioned that I'm ADHD, have I?

    You can find my stories at Fanfiction.net here .

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    Last Edit: 6 years 2 months ago by CrazyMinh.
    6 years 2 months ago #51 by null0trooper
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  • CrazyMinh wrote:

    null0trooper wrote: As to her hyperactivity being unbelievable, I'd recommend getting to know more people with ADHD.


    ...

    ...

    ...I've never mentioned that I'm ADHD, have I?


    My point still stands, as you are not the only person with ADHD. Not everyone will have the same symptoms affecting their life exactly as yours do you. I have even known people who make Chessa look sedate, without either ADD or Bipolar Disorder.

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    6 years 2 months ago #52 by CrazyMinh
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  • null0trooper wrote: Many people who liked 3.5 and didn't want to wait until 4 died the death it deserved moved over to Pathfinder, which was intended to be largely compatible with 3.5 rules.


    Eugh. Pathfinder. I tried playing a few games...

    ...No offence or disrespect to anyone who likes it- you are allowed to like it if you want, it's your preference- but I always found it to be a poor imitation of D&D. I mean, sure. It has its own tone and flavour among literally thousands of RPG games. Sure, it's technically a "fix-fic" of the messy 3.5e. And sure, it is pretty fun to play once you get into it.

    My main gripe with it is that the game uses core mechanics that I'm not used to. I really only got into tabletop gaming seriously around 2009, when I was just out of high school. Before then, I'd been playing Warhammer 40k for some time, I'd tried out Warhammer Fantasy as well, and I'd also begun playing a few collectible card games. RPG's were a late thing for me, and I've spend nearly nine years now playing them. Actually, technically it's closer to ten years, if you count the D&D game I played halfway through year twelve off-and-on, with our small group only managing four sessions in the space of five months.

    I started with 4th edition, hated it, and my group almost unilaterally agreed. So, we switched to playing Shadowrun for a while; before moving over to playing Vampire: The Masquerade, some of the W40k RPG's, and eventually moving to D&D 5e, where we've had a long streak of campaigns ever since it came out back around 2012.

    the Tl;dr? I never really experienced that era of game design trends, and I really only caught the tail end of it with 4e. Game design moves on, even with long-runners like D&D. I've noticed that there's been a recent trend towards simplicity and more accessible rules, especially with long-timers like D&D and W40k. 5th Edition D&D has a lot of stripped-down features compared to the leviathan of murdered rainforests that was your average 4e game; and 8th edition W40k removed a whole bunch of fun features, which I really, really despise have mixed feelings about. We'll never forget you, templates-and-facing-mechanics!!

    In any case, I agree that pathfinder is a good game. It's just not my cup of tea.

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    6 years 2 months ago #53 by CrazyMinh
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  • null0trooper wrote:

    CrazyMinh wrote:

    null0trooper wrote: As to her hyperactivity being unbelievable, I'd recommend getting to know more people with ADHD.


    ...

    ...

    ...I've never mentioned that I'm ADHD, have I?


    My point still stands, as you are not the only person with ADHD. Not everyone will have the same symptoms affecting their life exactly as yours do you. I have even known people who make Chessa look sedate, without either ADD or Bipolar Disorder.


    ...wow, you're the second person to say that to me in a matter of months. Christ, I need to pull myself together....

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    6 years 2 months ago #54 by Dreamer
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  • SPOILER ALERT
    Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.

    The Quantum Suicides, second half comments
    Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]

    Thank You for story comments appreciated and help me know me they are being read and liked. :-) Note: My story comments can't nor are trying to replace reading the stories, simply my way of enjoying them and letting the authors know I enjoy them.
    6 years 2 months ago #55 by Wasamon
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  • OK, in before the mental health discussion goes any further in pushing people's feet in their orifices...

    Here's what went into Chessa's character:

    1- several articles on changes in personality and perspective with (the few fortunate) survivors of Golden Gate bridge suicide attempts.

    2- a very strong dissatisfaction with his former body, with strong negative associations with his father

    3- the liberating self-realization that everything that was making the old him miserable is now completely gone from his life, including the body

    4- the urge to do a complete reinvention of her new self, fueled by a sudden happiness with her physical state and assisted by the clarity gained from literally throwing her life away in suicide and then sort-of not dying.

    5- she overdoes things a lot at first, before settling down by the time the Whateley school year actually begins.
    6 years 2 months ago #56 by Kettlekorn
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  • Regarding RPG editions, beside personal preference there's also the matter of money. Some people don't have a lot of that, particularly as kids, and some RPGs have a lot of books you might want to invest in. Old used things tend to be cheaper. And in some cases, it's a matter of hand-me-downs or shared stuff -- Chessa's DM might have been using books originally collected by an older sibling who predated 4e.

    Incidentally, my first RPG ever was in 2014 and it was straight-up 1970s AD&D, though that had nothing to do with money. On the other hand, money was the reason my family's only console was a used NES until we finally got a PlayStation in 2000. Though we did get a reasonable computer in '96, so we weren't totally behind the times.

    The Quantum Suicides, second half wrote: she had definitely made the right decision, declaring the three of them siblings out of the box.

    Nice.

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    6 years 2 months ago #57 by Sir Lee
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  • Couple more typos:

    The other militiamen were rushing back, alerted by the sounds of gunfire. the tracking program plotted out their most likely course on both his phone and Marcus's tablet,

    Missing a capital on the beginning of a sentence.

    a machine-gun-looking thing that fired fired a few rounds

    Repeated "fired"

    Don't call me "Shirley." You will surely make me surly.
    6 years 2 months ago - 6 years 2 months ago #58 by null0trooper
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  • "Ah, yes," said Derek. "This is Ms. Janceena Sevcik, a friend of mine who happened to be in Chicago this weekend. She's with the Department of Paranormal Affairs."


    She was also in Pat's story too? ISTR it was unusual to see the DPA in action at the time the story came out.

    ASTOLON.

    The word had a presence, a mass without substance that drew those blinding spots and wavering lines to it, knotting them together to form the most wondrous patterns. She could feel the tears lifting from her cheeks, see them pooling upon the granite square, shining bright silver as they coated the flowers and plaque alike in liquid light.


    Even though the source is anime, this style of magic reminded me of Jack Frost of the Invisibles.
    Link

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    6 years 2 months ago #59 by DanZilla
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  • Sir Lee wrote: Couple more typos:

    The other militiamen were rushing back, alerted by the sounds of gunfire. the tracking program plotted out their most likely course on both his phone and Marcus's tablet,

    Missing a capital on the beginning of a sentence.

    a machine-gun-looking thing that fired fired a few rounds

    Repeated "fired"


    Thanks, fixed.
    6 years 2 months ago #60 by mhalpern
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  • Sorry for being so late to the party, (i blame Gen:LOCK) but is it just me or does anyone else want to see someone like Alyss just make DoH look like a bunch of fools by just talking?

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    6 years 2 months ago #61 by Katssun
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  • Did I get misty-eyed when Myra thought about "sixteen birthdays to celebrate"? Did I smirk when Myra measures her essence in fireballs? Did I get filled with a warm feeling when Speers put his hand on Marcus' shoulder to keep him from freaking out about the shark-decoration on the deactivated missile, and it worked?

    Why yes, yes I did.

    Chessa has the cleanest break of all of them, including Speers. Speers has the guilt of his own success, knowing he's responsible for them, torn and confused by his interest in Myra while also not wanting to step in, until Marcus drags him in. Marcus needs him, Myra needs him. Marcus and Myra both have obvious trauma. Marcus may eventually get over it, maybe, but Myra is always going to have Melanie.

    The impression I get was that Myra is suppressing her grief and moving forward with the others as her purpose, while Marcus is slowly, slowly actually overcoming his trauma.

    I'm honestly the most worried about Myra. Her strength seems unlimited, but there's this undertone that it won't always be.

    Chessa's reaction and behavior is perfectly normal, given her circumstances. She gets to start over because she wanted to. She has the shortest gap in time, nobody is looking for her, she wants to break all ties, and got into fights over it, and she has a new family that she loves and loves her back. What's a little GSD to get in the way of newfound happiness? Her old body was a source of a number of her frustrations.
    6 years 2 months ago #62 by Sir Lee
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  • Also, Chessa just might have been an undiagnosed transwoman in her previous life as Ches. Consider how the trigger to Ches' suicide was his father tearing the Na'Chessa character sheet. Ches for the first time was role-playing a female, and that was suddenly "taken" from him. It was not just a character for him. He went to the trouble of taping together the sheet again, and after the transformation mentioned being relieved that he had Na'Chessa "back." He had played other characters before, some probably for longer periods of time, but Na'Chessa was special to him.
    So, assuming the unproven hypothesis that Ches was an undiagnosed transwoman, added to other body issues she had, finding herself in a copy of Na'Chessa's body would be just the opposite of traumatic.

    Don't call me "Shirley." You will surely make me surly.
    6 years 2 months ago #63 by Wasamon
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  • Yay! Good to know I wrote her right, then.
    6 years 2 weeks ago - 6 years 2 weeks ago #64 by Malady
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  • Hmm... if Dr. Speers is "Thirty-six next month", as of July 2016...

    I wonder what happened on his birthday, if anything, since he's got a whole sorta-family to celebrate with.

    ----

    And he's called "Dr. Speers the younger", so his father was a Doctor too? Huh.

    ----

    WMG: The Box works like a Ressurection Spell, but doesn't need to capture the soul at the moment of death, and rebuilds the body... somehow.
    Last Edit: 6 years 2 weeks ago by Malady.
    6 years 2 weeks ago #65 by Wasamon
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  • Ooh... thanks for reminding me of that factoid.
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