Anything is fair game... just don't complain when someone with more Whateley-verse savvy shoots your theory out of the sky.
Posting rules: Any registered member can create threads or post to existing ones.
Question Dissonance!
- Yolandria
-
Topic Author
Mistress of the shelter for lost and redeemable Woobies!
- ebony841
-
- Branwen
-
I'll be keeping an eye out here and on Discord for feedback.

- Dreamer
-
Below is a stream of conscious commentary I type up as I read the story. There will be details from the story included in it. If you have not read the story yet and don't wish to have details of it spoiled, read no further.
Dissonance Part 1 comments
I've seen those things used before, what mystery is he trying to solve, does he work for Whateley? Mrs. Carson shows up and Otto looks like hell, sounds like an obsessive search for someone missing alright.Wandering back inside, he picked his way through the mess of his living room, converted months ago into a crisis room. Free-standing cork boards covered in photographs and maps, different coloured strings cross-crossing between linked pieces of information, clues and persons of interest.
That long since Sara disappeared, no wonder he is a wreck.“It’s been six months, Elizabeth,” he whispered hoarsely. “Six months and we have no idea where she is. And the only lead we have is some idiot child that seems to be able to elude the best investigators on the planet and whose friends are going down for murder!”
They found Speakeasy, finally, he can face justice.
Arrgggh, now Speakeasy won't speak. I understand why Otto is freaking out, there has to be a way to get Speakeasy to talk or learn something from him.Depending on what he’s done to Sara, he might be guilty of magical coercion which carries the death penalty.
Do I even want to know what N'Kai is? N'kai Okay, if it is even half as bad as what the site say I see why Carson wants someone there to deal without whatever crawls out of it.“We had the Lovecraft Room, remember? My school is right on top of N’Kai! I needed someone or something to protect my students from anything that might crawl out of that hole. What was I supposed to do when a golden opportunity like a tame Great Old One dropped right into my lap? And it was working! She was culling corrupted weres and wrangling the creatures in Hawthorne’s basement like a pro! Stan and Morrie’s workload was cut in half! Nobody wants her back more than me, as problematic as she could be at times, no matter how much Englund and the rest of the staff bitched. Underneath it all, she was a good kid. She was learning, all she ever wanted was to help!”
I understand Carson's reason for keeping Otto away, if Speakeasy made someone I care about disappear like this him being put into traction in the hospital would be the least I would do to him given the chance. Carson refuses to leave Otto alone like this, I would be scared with the way he was talking he might try to take his own life out of depression.
Thank you for this. Great to have friends who will support you in the worst of times.“I’m afraid I’m going to have to put you on suicide watch,” she answered tenderly.
Alley-Oop telling Rest to go over and talk to a girl, can see why Rest is reluctant, pink eyes and feminine face, poor kid must be a bully magnet. Crush on an Exemplar girl, ouch. Pythia pissed about the way they are talking about a fellow girl in front of her, not smart to anger the girls of Whateley. Pythia has a fascinating appearance.Book 1: Overdog
Chapter 1
Oh crap, Rest has a crush on Envy of the Bad Seeds, he certainly doesn't set himself up for easy task, does he.
Hehehe, I like Pythia. And Pythia isn't wrong about the potential reactions Rest would get from Envy, high school is brutal.“If you think she hasn’t noticed you staring at her like a piece of meat,” Pythia pointed out with a saccharine smile. “Forget it, she’s EX-3, her thighs would crush your pelvis like an empty beer can.”
Smart movie, Rest, admit when you are wrong. Named his instrument Mia, cute. Alley-Oop can nudge 700 grams with his mind, just over 1.5 pounds, no wonder he is an Underdog. Herpetology, now there is an interesting subject. Yikes, having to act like this just to avoid notice from potential bullies in the tunnels.
A custom-built violin, awesome.
Now there is an intriguing power. A bully targetting him in the workshop, who is this creep?His Siren ability to feel the resonance of objects combined with his abilities as a gadgeteer to make him the best crafter of instruments since Stradivarius. Theoretically. If he could get hold of the correct materials and refine his technique.
Rest, first chance you get please tell someone about this. Thuban wants this guy to deliver a message, why would Rest owe him a lot? At least the guy left without incident, Rest got lucky. Uh oh, Rest going to get the folder sheet plastic himself, this could be bad. Ouch, in debt to Thuban for the materials to build Mia and late on repayment, one thing a dragon doesn't like is not getting paid their due.Stuck to the underside of his desk drawer with yellowing sticky tape was what looked to be a piece of folded sheet plastic.
*eyes bug out* Please say that what just came out of the paper wasn't Sara, that is a horrible state for her to be in if it is. Noooo! Trapped again, this is horrible. Great, the scream drew Disassembler back and Rest is in trouble. Now trying to bride his way out of a further beating by offering the paper to Thuban, darn it, Rest.
And Disassembler might have just made the last mistake of his life. *tries to avoid hurling* Good lord, that is right out of a horror movie, not even Disassembler deserved to die like that. I know it has been 6 months, but Sara just consumed him and used his mass to rebuild her body.
Rest trying to get an answer out of her, but 6 months for us might have been longer for Sara inside the dimension she was trapped in. Oh god, it is like she doesn't remember who she is or once was anymore. And Rest does the worst thing possible, seals her back up and tries to cover up what happened to Disassembler. I hope he is bringing the draw to someone who will know what to do.
And he told Alley-Oop the whole tale, should have gone to the Mystic Arts department with this immediately. Rest, lying more is just going to make things worse. Alley-Oop and Rest must be freshmen, they don't get how bad things can get at Whateley yet it seems.Chapter 2
*eyes bug out worse than ever before* She is identifying herself as Kellith, this is bad. And she doesn't even know she ate someone, we need serious help right now. Oop is a royal idiot, thinks she is a demon and wants to have sex with her, teenage hormones. Thank for that, Rest, Oop needs to learn to treat females with respect. So that is why she ate the clothes, starved for 6 months, I hope there is a way for Sara's personality to come back.
Rest needs to realize the longer he keeps this secret the more guilty he looks. And Rest imprisons her back in the dimension connected to the paper, darn it!
It figures all the stuff on the Kellith is restricted, don't want freshmen getting their hands on such information. All that information on the Whateley servers about her though hope Ms. Hartford notices the search hit and has someone investigate.“May only be borrowed by seniors and teachers with written permission of the head of the magical faculty,” Rest read aloud in a whisper. “Sexual Magic Practices, Cults of the Beyond, Sara’s Little Purple Book, Incongruity…?”
Go to Security about this already!“Carmilla,” he read, “alias Sara Waite, Kellith. Classification exemplar four, shapeshifter four, regenerator six, psychic X. Ultraviolent green band. Apparent age sixteen, height between four-foot-six and five-nine. Consumes life force via physical contact. Voted one of top five beautiful girls in WARS polling for 2006. Currently missing, if you discover any information as to her whereabouts, please contact Security immediately.”
*hits head on desk* Darn it, Rest!“If you buy that bullcrap,” Rest mused. “She was probably using the alias to mess with people. And an X-rating is what they give when your power level is either too low for a whole number or it’s off the charts. Considering the rest of her stats, I’m betting off the charts.”
Now that is a great spell. Oh, is this Blue trying to get information out of Rest and Oop, I hope so. Rest, lying again like that. You are digging yourself a deep hole when Carson finds out, I wouldn't wish to be at the end of her lecture about all this for anything.Fey’s Automatic Nudity Censorship Spell
Pythia showing up with regular food and live mice, they better tell her about the Kellith.
Pythia is my favorite new character in this story, doesn't take bull from her friends. Yes! Pythia knows who Sara Waite is, now maybe we can get this mess sorted out. And the whole situation just got more complicated, rats.“Look,” he replied, “it may be better for you if you don’t know…”
She interrupted him by grabbing his left ear and twisting.
“Ow! Ow! Ow! Ok! Ok! I’ll show you! I’ll show you!”
Thank you for the voice of reason in all this.“I’d anonymously turn me over to Security,” she answered.
“And there’s the self-serving reply,” Rest grumbled.
Pythia gestured to Kellith. “She’s got a point. I think you’re overcomplicating the problem.”
Rest, what you are planning isn't right, you are using a poor, confused girl as a pawn for your plans just because think he will be charged as accessory to murder. Having her make charms for you, she is basically a slave! And using such a charm to cheat in a basketball game, Rest, you are going down a very slippery slope here.
The Couch doesn't get that practice can't improve someone that much that quickly, this is Whateley, he should have questioned such a thing. Rest knows you can get suspended for pulling such a thing, yet he had Oop do it anyways. A junior of First Nations descent sitting with them, guessing it is Bluejay and he knows something is up. Knew it had to be Bluejay, no one else fits that description and has that attitude.Chapter 3
Bluejay investigating Disassembler's disappearance, Rest should have just gone to Security immediately and explained what happened. Gadgeteer X, Siren X, Rest is low rated even for an Underdog. Rest, each lie is just piling on to your punishment when it all comes out. Wonder if Bluejay is going to be keeping a close eye on Rest now.
And now Pythia is stealing supplies from the magic department, good grief. Calling the Kellith their pet demon, Rest has gone off the deep end. Pythia wants something from the Kellith as well, girl stuff, this is out of hand.
Okay, Rest getting into the zone like that and finishing Mia, please say he didn't have the Kellith create a charm to help. Rachmaninov’s Vocalis played on a violin like Mia, I doubt anyone could have kept working while wanting to hear that as clearly as possible.
*facepalms* Can't believe Pythia asked for boob growth even if they are small. After Rest saying all that, you just know something is going to happen when he goes to lock Mia up in the safe.
And Thuban sent Porcupine this time to find out about the violin he commissioned. Thuban sounding like a mob boss, asking for a bigger cut due to the loss of personnel. Rest talking that way, then using a lightning charm to blast Porcupine before he runs, this power has gone straight to Rest's head.
Pythia in the dorm room with Twinkle, a friend from Whitman who is a manifestor, just produces puffs of sparkle. Ouch, thirteen with GSD stunting her growth, poor girl. He had a charm like that made! Good grief, as if Mischief and Trixie aren't bad enough with their prank goods.
And Rest is sliding down that slippery slope even faster than expected. Who beat up Oop that badly and why?“You can’t keep stealing supplies from the magic department,” Rest answered forcefully, “and you can’t keep getting double portions of mice every night. It’s going to take money if we want to supply all the Underdogs with this shit to keep them safe. Just think of it as taxation or something.”
At least Doyle is patching Oop up and keeping an eye on him for now. And beaten up over losing a basketball game, talk about cowards. And the creeps who beat up his friend laughing about it, this is going to push Rest into doing something he will regret.Chapter 4
And Rest has gone fully off the deep end using that spell on the bullies, there is fighting back and then there is torture.“People like you, you genetically superior types. You just think you can step on anyone you think is beneath you,” Rest explained. “You don’t think we won’t find ways to fight back. Put ourselves on a level playing field.”
Rest demanding the Kellith give him a lot more charms, power-mad seems too light right now.
More empathy than some humans right there. She remembers Ecto-Tek, does this mean she could regain all her memories and be the Sara we know and love again?“I am sentient, as are humans, and they don’t want to be eaten. I am sentient and empathetic; therefore I understand their feelings. So I don’t eat them because tormenting people needlessly is evil.”
All that sound reasoning and Rest doesn't want to hear it, hope it isn't too late to save him from himself. Rest's emotions are erratic, he is acting irrationally, and lashing out verbally. He needs serious help and soon.“It’s true,” Kellith continued. “Not all pains are justified but the pain is always there. The pain of a starving man is the same as the pain of a rich man that needs another yacht. Need is the gnawing void that eats at everyone the same.”
Waiting in Doyle for Oop to be released, Rest needs to relax already. Pain inducement spell, knew it was bad, and Rest is just glad they didn't I.D. him.
Rest, being happy with what you have in life isn't lacking ambition, thinking that way will get yourself and others hurt.“Not when you think about it,” she said. “Poor or rich, blessed or cursed, everyone has needs they want to fulfil. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have needs. Sure, I’d love to be an exemplar but on the other hand I’m glad I don’t have guys pawing me wherever I go. I’m glad I don’t have demanding parents breathing down the back of my neck.”
“Really? You don’t wish you could be something more? Someone better?”
“Well,” she answered, looking down at her chest, “I guess even I’ve got little niggling worries, obviously. Sure, it’d be nice but that’s not who I am, is it? I think I’m happier just trying to be who I am.”
“You lack ambition,” he accused.
Oop restless while stuck in Doyle, know that feeling.
And now we see the consequences of Rest's actions, talking back to Porcupine like that and the creep went after his friend. And Oop wants revenge instead of letting Security handle it, this just keeps getting worse with each decision they make. Asking the Kellith to heal him, oh crap, top of worst ideas right now.“I was walking home when the ugliest motherfucker came out of the bushes near the dorm and king hit me out of the blue,” Oop said, pointing to the stitches on his brow.
Rest felt his blood run cold. “Wait, it wasn’t the guys who did basketball with you?”
“What? No,” Oop replied. “Some motherfucker with boney spikes stickin’ out everywhere.”
Shocked, Rest almost tripped, his mind racing. Did I fuck up? Am I responsible for this? his mind asked over and over again, unable to answer.
Rest thinks what Pythia said was weird, he definitely needs his head examined.
Powerless and bullied suddenly gaining power, never good for their mental and emotional health.“I wasn’t fucking asking. Open the sheet so I can talk to Kellith or I’m fucking calling Security. I’m sick of being pushed around, I’m sick of looking over my shoulder. This place was supposed to be safe for us! Bull. Fucking. Shit. You want to walk around with a pocket full of scrolls, fine, I’m doing this my way.”
Rest, she used all that energy making your scrolls, now look at her. This has to end.
Yikes, she's had time to think about this. Oop wants to be made an Exemplar, Kellith cries when she tells him she can, this is going to end in suffering and more tears.“What is hell?” Kellith asked absently. “Is hell a feast of never-ending flesh? The cycle of predation writ large? Or is it our lives gone wrong, the extinction of everything but raw, animal, need? Or is it merely infinite, eternal, absence when your body itself becomes the prison of your mind?”
He is going to end up a monster, in appearance and mind.“No! No more of that shit!” Oop shouted. “I’m tired! I don’t care anymore! I’m not going to sit on the sidelines while some assholes who won the goddamn genetic lottery get all the girls and all the glory! I’m going to be on top for once! I’m going to special! I’m going to be powerful! I’m going to be the best! I’m sick of struggling! So you damn well just sit there and shut up for fucking once and let ME have this! I’ll be the one to remember you this time! I’ll be the one to look after the Underdogs! I’m not going to forget where I came from!”
“Please,” Kellith gasped, begging on her hands and knees as purple tears flowed freely, staining the paper underneath her for a moment before disappearing, “please take your words back.”
Oop is an Exemplar 6 now, looking good and powerful. He doesn't realize there is a price to all this yet. Oop talking like that and so hungry, I wonder what the Kellith did exactly to make him like this. Oop going after Envy, not even listening to Rest anymore.
Her reaction when he tries another line on her, what he says next, and then what she says, Oop might just attack Envy.“Touch me again and you won’t get that hand back,” she threatened without looking at him. Her friends were glaring daggers at Oop.
Completely off the deep end and power-mad. And this is why the Kellith didn't wish to do this, burnout. Envy having to do all that to contain the explosion when Opp blows up, his body and mind couldn't handle the changes and he was a ticking timebomb from the moment he was changed.“Do you have any fucking idea, you dumb slut?” Oop shouted into her face. “I’m exemplar six, a cunt like you should be on your knees begging for this!”
All noise stopped. Envy stood her ground without moving a muscle, her expression never wavering from unimpressed boredom. Oop was sweating bullets, huffing air like a bull winding up for a charge, just waiting for the tiniest thing to set him off. Everyone was staring at them, shocked.
“Is there, like, Deidrick’s for asshole jocks?” A girl near Rest whispered into her friend’s ear.
“NO!” Oop shouted, his face as red as a beetroot. “I’M THE HERO! I’M THE BEST THERE IS AT WHATELEY! I! AM! THE OVERDOG!”
Chapter 5
His best friend is dead and Rest still can't admit he has no idea what he is doing and digs in deeper, I hope Pythia calls Security already.Kellith cocked her head to one side and blinked. “I told you to give me to Security anonymously. You still have a chance to do the right thing, admit your mistakes…”
“My mistake,” he hissed, tears blurring his vision, “was telling anyone about you. Everything would have been fine if I’d kept you all to myself. I’m not going to make that mistake again. You’re going to pay me back for killing my friend…”
And Rest doesn't listen to Pythia, just caring about having the Kellith's power to fight Thuban, he has gone mad.“Not deliberately,” Sara answered, “he asked me to make him the most powerful exemplar in Whateley. I warned him not to make me do that, he insisted. His body couldn’t handle the power and was going to burn out but I was forced to comply. Nobody asked me why I didn’t want to do it or I could have told them.”
Please listen to reason already, Rest. He tried to feed Pythia to Sara but Sara avoided eating her, Rest is too far gone. Pythia decking Rest, yes! And finally, Bluejay shows up and cradles Sara, telling someone to get Security. All this because a kid was bullied and got a taste of power, going mad.“Maybe you didn’t know it’d kill him but you still let him take the risk. It’s time to stop, Rest. If you’re not really the monster I think you are, it’s time to let Kellith go free. Now. One way or another, I’m taking her to Security. Look at her!” She gestured back at Sara, a nearly skeletal, pale, figure. “She’s just skin and bones! There’s no power left for you to take anyway!”
Team Kimba, students from Hawthorne and members of Sara's Pack outside the medical bay awaiting word on their friend.
Finding out she was under their noses this whole time, glad Carson stopped Hippy from damaging the building and sent her to someone who can help her work off the frustration and anger. Hippy and Chaka hitting the combat trainer, eep.“She’s going to be fine,” Carson announced, which was received by a collective sigh of relief. “But she’s in quarantine. No visitors until the Board and ARC experts deem her safe. Dr. Otto will be flying in on a private chopper and is taking up her case exclusively. Before you see her, though, I have to warn you that she’s been through a lot. She might not be the same person you remember.”
Rest locked up by security and Carson going to have a chat with him.
Sara fought back against her instincts to not eat Pythia, proving she is the good girl Carson always thought she was, brings tears of joy to my eyes reading that. Can't wait for the next part of this story, so glad you are back Branwen.[/quote]“Your codename is Rest, correct?” Carson asked after the door closed behind her. When he didn’t answer, she continued. “Maybe you think that people like me couldn’t ever understand what it’s like to be powerless…”
He rolled over to sit on the edge of the bed suddenly, hurling his blanket away. “You don’t! Don’t pretend for a moment you do!”
She glared down at him. “You’re wrong. I’ve lost more than you can know. I’ve watched people I love, who I’d do anything for, die when I was unable to do anything.” Reaching down, she grabbed the front of his shirt and lifted him bodily off the bench, setting him on his feet before letting him go. “You and the girl you imprisoned and abused faced the same choice in nearly the same moment and you both made exactly the opposite choices. Your best friend burned out; the rest of your friends hate you now. Was it worth it?”
Frowning, he looked away from her. “No. No, it wasn’t worth it. I’d take it all back if I could.”
She stepped back from him. “Well, you’ll get a chance to pay your debt.”
“Why are you here?” he asked, grumbling. “Just come to rub it in?”
“No, I’m here to thank you,” Carson answered, turning away from him and opening the cell door.
“Thank me for what?”
She looked over her shoulder and smiled. “Because thanks to you, I know that Sara’s the girl I always thought she was.” Stepping out, she closed the door behind her and walked away with a spring in her step.
Thank You for story comments appreciated and help me know me they are being read and liked.

- cprime
-
As I think on the story, some of the famous cautionary tales (Icarus, Pandora's box, Sorcerer's Apprentice and so on) rattle through the mind. Unfortunately, Rest didn't learn from those tales. I don't think he's quite ARC Red material, but I think he will need some psych type help.
Is your muse looking for inspiration? Send them to Parkerville! Welcome to Parkerville is the latest edition in my series of writing prompts.
- Branwen
-
- Court
-
It's great to have Sara back.
- Malady
-
Also, this is only part 1... Hmm. Wonder what the next part will we about, and what the title means.
...
More story specific thoughts.
Interesting way for Sara to be discovered!
Pythia went for a small, restrained boon. Smart.
Was shipping Rest and Pythia for a bit there, until he started going off the deep end.
Even being the strongest Exemplar can't save you from burnout. Hmm.
And the new meaning of X-rated powers. Rest being the only one we've seen with such ratings. Interesting thoughts on the usual power distribution...
Lol and sad if he was actually the super version of X, but repressed it a lot or something.
What was that bony thing? A Voodoo Wolf or something? No Class X / Mythos Contamination...
I guess the next part is more about Rest's fate, and Sara / Kellith's new personality or whatever.
- null0trooper
-
Dreamer wrote: Now where could Otto be which has iron-grey ocean and currently cold enough for at least a little snow?
October's a stretch, but Nova Scotia sees those conditions by November.
Dreamer wrote: Do I even want to know what N'Kai is? N'kai Okay, if it is even half as bad as what the site say I see why Carson wants someone there to deal without whatever crawls out of it.
I think Sara's mentioned that the upper shafts coming up from the Gulf interesect Hawthorne's unknown number of subbasements.
“Carmilla,” he read, “alias Sara Waite, Kellith. Classification exemplar four, shapeshifter four, regenerator six, psychic X. Ultraviolent green band.
"...dangerous by virtue of the nature of mutation"
Dreamer wrote: Oop is an Exemplar 6 now, looking good and powerful. He doesn't realize there is a price to all this yet. Oop talking like that and so hungry, I wonder what the Kellith did exactly to make him like this.
She made him an Exemplar, as he asked, with all that entails . Hungry? Where do folks think all the energy for that supercharged metabolism comes from? The Kellith of course knows the rules, and knows the going prices, and that everybody - always - pays.
Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.
WhatIF Stories: Buy the Book
Discussion Thread
- FlynnDanger
-
Instead, he now has no friends, pissed off some of the most powerful people on campus, let his best friend die, has done nothing substantial to help the Underdogs (probably hurt their reputation more in the long run), and is more than likely going to be charged for attempted murder for trying to feed Pythia to Sara (which avoiding the whole murder rap was the entire point of this selfish little weasels 'plan').
I hope Pythia doesn't get too bad a punishment. While she was apart of the scheme, she realized that it wasn't right. Maybe some work in Hawthrone so she can try to make amends to Sara?
- Schol-R-LEA
-
Court wrote: What is the point of putting Incongruity on a restricted list? The book was an international bestseller. There are zillions of copies floating around. Putting it on a restricted list simply says "There is something interesting here." It won't stop anyone from reading the book.
I agree, it just connects Sara to Michael Waite in way which would be a little too clear, though most would probably assume that the were relatives rather than the same person. However, I think the idea was that, whereas most casual readers would find it to be a disturbing but well-written novel, those who know Carmilla personally would be likely to make the connection between the book and The Kellith, so putting it on the restricted list was at least better than simply removing it from the library outright (as it was probably already in the fiction stacks at the time of Michael Waite's reported death).
It makes a bit more sense for Sara's Little Purple Book to be on the restricted list, though why they would have it in the library at all is a question. I suppose the assumption was that their were teachers who'd need to know about the sex manual which as circulating samizdat among the student body, but they had to at least make it look like they weren't just letting kids get their hands on the mutant equivalent of the Kama Sutra. They are well aware that the students can get a copy on their own, but at least they can't just walk into the school library and read it in one of those privacy cubbies which Chou and Molly made such effective use of.
One nitpick I did have was that there already is a Pythia on campus, or at least there was last year (she was the Dickenson fixer and RA whom Aquerna spoke to when she needed help with the squirrels from her Combat Final in "Straight from the Squirrel's Mouth" , helped Seraphim settle in when she arrived on campus in "There's an Angel in Dickenson Cottage" , and helped Anna again by escorting her to Dr Bellows' office in "Spring, and a Young Squirrel's Fancy..." ). However, this is easily explained by the fact that they are freshmen, and may not have official codenames yet; she may not know that the name is already in use. Conversely, it is possible that the previous Pythia graduated (I'd had the impression that she was more like a sophomore or junior, but she may have been a senior), in which case if it is a Legacy name, it may have been available as a temporary codename.
Out, damnéd Spot! Bad Doggy!
- null0trooper
-
Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.
WhatIF Stories: Buy the Book
Discussion Thread
- Quadhouse
-

Definitely looking forward to the next part.
Oh, and congratulations. You got me to comment. It's been years since I commented or posted anything here.
- JulesMorrison
-
- Malady
-
...
Wonder what'll happen to Mia...
...
I forget who wanted to take out Sara... I wonder what they'll do once they learn she's been released...
...
On the Pythia situation. Could she be one of those rare Frosh RAs? Or a previously JH kid who got the job by dint of experience??
- Mister D
-

It was worth the waite.

Measure Twice
- Darkmuse
-
- Mister D
-
A background theme that was never explicitly stated, but was evident in the changes in Rest's demeanour, was that Rest definitely failed his Sanity Check roll, when seeing Sara devour Disassembler.
Nicely understated examples of how Class X entities can damage humans by just existing in the same place.
Sara's MID will need updating to reflect that.
Also, nice examples of "The Victim Takes The Tyrant's Place" theme.
As Sara said, we all have pain.
Most of us that choose to reincarnate here have some form of PTSD, just due to the way that life works.



Measure Twice
- Katssun
-
That's a great foundation to drama and tension!
She wants freedom, the three underdogs need her encircled to use her power. So simple, so well fleshed out.
I'm guessing that at best, Rest will be in detention for the remainder of the year, if he doesn't get expelled. Pythia probably should be punished accordingly as well, because she was going along with it.
Is Dissonance also a foundation story for renewed tensions for all the underdogs?
As a total side note, I do wonder if we'll get a little Ribbon-Hippie interlude in a future story, where Alyss gets to see a happy, beaming Hippie taking a break behind Poe.
- Malady
-
Didn't feel right just blaming it all on Sara...
Hmm... The circle designer making it emit villainy radiation and thoughts to exploit Sara, so it's easier for them to recruit to their cause, and use Class X residue to find them easily?
- Mister D
-
More magic pollution.
Also, it's interesting to hear Carson's explicit description of Whateley's location.
Yes, it's a magical toxic waste dump.

Measure Twice
- Bek D Corbin
-
- gpoetx
-
- Katssun
-
I don't blame any of this on whoever taught Speakeasy the circle. This was simply the power of inferiority, insecurity, fear, arrogance, and vanity vs. temptation.Malady wrote: Hmm... The circle designer making it emit villainy radiation and thoughts to exploit Sara, so it's easier for them to recruit to their cause, and use Class X residue to find them easily?
- Alley-oop's character was staged from the start to have a huge chip on his shoulder about being an underdog, having basketball be his thing (it's in his name after all) but getting outshined by the lowest exemplars. It's a perfect example of the jealousy and resentment that can be created from Exemplars just existing. What Tansy explained to Danny when she taught herself guitar in front of him.
- Rest's was fear. He made a deal with Thuban, and not a great one. Instead of doing the right thing, he slips into a need to protect himself at any cost. Not only was he taking too long for the investment and there's even a line about his creations taking time because only the best should be using them or buying them. That seed of arrogance transfers over to thinking that he can control the Sara situation even as he rapidly gets out of his depth. It's a nice foreshadowing that he makes a bad deal with Thuban, setting the character for making bad judgement.
- Pythia comes off a lot better, but she's definitely giving in to her vanity. She shouldn't have ever gone along with it, and almost pays the ultimate price for her poor judgement. The only thing saving her was Sara slowly regaining her consciousness, which is called out by Carson at the end.
It's fitting the other side of the equation in this story is Sara, because she is all about temptation to begin with.

This might be Part 1, but it stands alone perfectly on its own as a compact short story with zero waste, fluff, or excess.
Oh, and of course Envy is part of the scene where Alley-oop completely falls to that very trait. Cute.
- Hebblejebble
-
I think it gives the Whateley Universe a much greater sense of depth and weight, on top of being an excellent stand alone story. Thank you.
- justareader
-
- jmhyp
-
So toward the end I'm thinking Rest will throw someone into the circle at some point. That point game a dozen or so paragraphs later.
I'm wondering if The Kelleth's natural corrupting influence was at work here. I doubt the thing in the circle could called Sara for most of the story. So maybe in her natural though weakened state The Kelleth was exuding a corrupting influence on the boys. Was their downfall all their own fault or did the monster push them to make bad decisions?
I'm also curious how The Kelleth comes across to someone who hasn't read the older stories. How will this as an introduction to Sara color their view of the character going forward. Those of us who have read them can't help but be sympathetic to the human devouring entity.

- jmhyp
-
Bek D Corbin wrote: What I personally liked was the fact that there was no glossing over of the fact that Sara ATE Disassembler. It was hard, cold, and utterly remorseless. In other words, what we've come to expect from Dr. Branwen
The response "You saw what you saw." said it all so succinctly.
- JulesMorrison
-
jmhyp wrote:
Bek D Corbin wrote: What I personally liked was the fact that there was no glossing over of the fact that Sara ATE Disassembler. It was hard, cold, and utterly remorseless. In other words, what we've come to expect from Dr. Branwen
The response "You saw what you saw." said it all so succinctly.
Sara is probably cut up about it but not going to say that while still somebody's captive. You know her, she doesn't forget the people she accidentally chomped, even if they were being jerks at the time.
- Anne
-
Adopt my story: here
Nowhereville discussion
- mhalpern
-
Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.
- null0trooper
-
mhalpern wrote: considering the most powerful Ex is Tennyo, I am surprised Oops merely exploded.
He did say "exemplar", not "Class X entity"!
Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.
WhatIF Stories: Buy the Book
Discussion Thread
- mhalpern
-
null0trooper wrote:
mhalpern wrote: considering the most powerful Ex is Tennyo, I am surprised Oops merely exploded.
He did say "exemplar", not "Class X entity"!
by having a class X entity do it, if he survived chances are he'd be one himself
Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.
- CrazyMinh
-
10/10 Story of the Year. Needs a 'Story of the Year' edition.

You can find my stories at Fanfiction.net here .
You can also check out my fanfiction guest riffs at Library of the Dammed
- lighttech
-
Anne wrote: The only disappointment for me is that Dr Bender didn't use any of my ideas of having Speakeasy fall into the hands of an angry father....
IMO I don't see Gothmog as getting mad over it at all, Speakeasy did it and all in all its just on thing that Sara has to experience for herself as she grows!
Remember that Gothmog had to spend a few years stuck in a bottle in his life and I'd bet he sees this as a lesson that Sara has to do too!
It like a modern father like one that lives next door to me...Kids falls, then gets up and starts the whining bit.....Did you fall? Yes daddy!...then don't do it again!
Part of the WA Drow clan/ collective
Author of Vantier and Shadowsblade on Bigcloset
- lighttech
-
if you want the read?
bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/62699/sha...ayal-and-forgiveness
Part of the WA Drow clan/ collective
Author of Vantier and Shadowsblade on Bigcloset
- Dpragan
-
In the end reality is only consensual! It means that Al Gore is causing "Global Warming" by his rhetoric alone! Fortunately, there are enough Global Warming "Deniers" still about to keep him from boiling the planet.
=^+^=
- Uncreative
-
- Mister D
-
Uncreative wrote: So do we know what date - or even year - this story takes place in?
From what Otto says, it's roughly 6-7 months after Sara vanished.
Measure Twice
- Uncreative
-
That first part certainly is, but there is no indication of how much time passed between then and the main story.Mister D wrote:
Uncreative wrote: So do we know what date - or even year - this story takes place in?
From what Otto says, it's roughly 6-7 months after Sara vanished.
From what I can tell, the only limit of how far into the future this story takes place is the fact all the Kimbas are still present.
- jmhyp
-
I'd be surprised if the entity that absorbed Disassembler had enough wherewithal to keep a hold of what makes Dis Dis.
- Katssun
-
Also, Envy is featured, and her initial discomfort and shyness from the Poe mixer is gone. It's Gen1Y2, but almost certainly before combat finals.
Do we need an exact date for anything aside from the Wiki?
- Anne
-
I still suspect that if Gothmog had gotten his tentacles on Speakeasy he would have thoroughly questioned him... I thought my ideas about what 'he' might do were a good compromise between eating him alive and ignoring him....
Adopt my story: here
Nowhereville discussion
- Dpragan
-
Uncreative wrote:
That first part certainly is, but there is no indication of how much time passed between then and the main story.Mister D wrote:
Uncreative wrote: So do we know what date - or even year - this story takes place in?
From what Otto says, it's roughly 6-7 months after Sara vanished.
From what I can tell, the only limit of how far into the future this story takes place is the fact all the Kimbas are still present.
The Underdogs were mentioning last year so somewhere in the 2007/8 school year
In the end reality is only consensual! It means that Al Gore is causing "Global Warming" by his rhetoric alone! Fortunately, there are enough Global Warming "Deniers" still about to keep him from boiling the planet.
=^+^=
- null0trooper
-
Anne wrote: I imagine that the author purposefully left the date of this one vague. That it is before the Kimbas graduate is given.
It also has to be before Thunderbird graduates in June 2008.
Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.
WhatIF Stories: Buy the Book
Discussion Thread
- ShadowedSin
-
"I can only conclude that I'm paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate."
-Commander Susan Ivanova, Earth Force, Babylon 5
- mhalpern
-
Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.
- marie7342231
-
I understand you were going through a great deal and needed to pace yourself to get it done right. And you did.
I just can't wait for chapter 2!
AAAAAAANNNND now to read the comments. Thanks all!
- jmhyp
-
Dpragan wrote: The Underdogs were mentioning last year so somewhere in the 2007/8 school year
I had zero doubt it was "this year". The question is when this year.
- Kettlekorn
-
- Branwen
-
Scald arrives maybe a few weeks before Chapter 2.
- lighttech
-
Branwen wrote: On the subject of dates, Envy's a freshman, so it has to be in the latter half of 2007 but before combat finals. There's probably 4-6 months between Chapter 1 and Chapter 2, Otto's been working at Whateley a while. The reason there's no specific dates is that I think the audience probably has more idea of where we're up to than any specific author at this point and I haven't been keeping up with new stories. Please help me nail down dates, fan input is greatly appreciated.
Scald arrives maybe a few weeks before Chapter 2.
well the first part with Otto and Carson has to be in mid November 2007 plus for it to be 6 months past when Sara vanished because she was caught in early May of that year. Darren captures her on May 1 and Hipp reports her missing to moron in security on May 5th...search given up on may 13th
So your next part can fall after that in November 2007 on
Part of the WA Drow clan/ collective
Author of Vantier and Shadowsblade on Bigcloset
- ShadowedSin
-
"I can only conclude that I'm paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate."
-Commander Susan Ivanova, Earth Force, Babylon 5