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Question Eire, my FIRST Whateley story.

6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #1 by Rose Bunny
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  • be gentle, I know I'm not the best writer, but I would certainly love to get your opinions on the story :)

    Part 1 is up. Eire.

    Feedback is MORE than welcome.

    High-Priestess of the Order of Spirit-Chan


    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 11 months ago #2 by Malady
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  • Congratulations! ... You didn't do any Microscenes, did you?

    Tip: Put links to the story and the discussion in your sig.

    Can't read tonight, too tired, but Congrats!!
    6 years 11 months ago #3 by Rose Bunny
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  • by micro-scene, I assume you mean cutaway to canon characters in a side-part? Not yet, but I do have one that will occur eventually.

    High-Priestess of the Order of Spirit-Chan


    6 years 11 months ago #4 by null0trooper
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  • Rose Bunny wrote: by micro-scene, I assume you mean cutaway to canon characters in a side-part? Not yet, but I do have one that will occur eventually.


    I'd say they're more like quick stand-alone snapshots of something that could happen in the WU. Or, maybe hopefully not (In a world over-run by duplicates of Tink ...). The micro-scenes don't have to be written around canon characters, although Danny Franks eventually was converted to canon. Schol-R-LEA has written some scenes that provide a Whateley U look at various events in history.

    Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.

    WhatIF Stories: Buy the Book

    Discussion Thread
    6 years 11 months ago #5 by Rose Bunny
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  • mmmmno, no real micro-scenes in it.

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    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #7 by Malady
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  • Interesting opening! Given where I know this is going, I'm waiting for the main stuff to happen.

    Add more paragraph spaces. There seem to be some natural stopping points, and some bits that have suddenly form new paragraphs.

    Make a new paragraph whenever someone speaks?

    Why is she so out of it? Mysterious!

    Typos... [ Click to expand ]
    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #8 by Rose Bunny
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  • Thank you, I will fix those.

    Malady wrote: Why is she so out of it? Mysterious!


    The lights are on, but literally no one is home.

    High-Priestess of the Order of Spirit-Chan


    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #9 by Malady
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  • More players are in place! Interesting!

    Your sig link to the discussion is pointing to an edit.

    ... Maybe look at the other FabLab stuff to see how they format things, and then ask if you have questions? The paragraph spacing is still off to me.

    "The Acquirer" or just "Acquirer", or both? If both, swap between them more frequently, and sooner, so readers get used to seeing both?

    Or some characters use one, and others use the other??

    Typos and stuff [ Click to expand ]
    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 11 months ago #10 by Rose Bunny
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  • Corrections made.

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    6 years 11 months ago #11 by Malady
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  • ... Just change the discussion link in your sig to: whateleyacademy.net/index.php/forum/proj...ateley-story-pt-2-up

    The paragraph spacing is a tiny bit weird, but the story is readable, so no worries there. You could delay these until you post part 3, and then do them all at once...

    To do good paragraph separation after someone speaks, maybe just search for quotation marks to find where speech happens, and then add paragraph spaces as appropriate.

    Eire hasn't eaten for a while... And remaking a body takes a lot of energy, and she was hungry when she appeared... Is she starving??? And then she has to full-body heal...

    If she's not eating, she might die from total cellular starvation... And you want her to get pregnant, which increases energy requirements... Is she getting energy even though she's not eating???

    "Acquire", not "Aquire"... Just search for "Aquir" and fix up as appropriate...

    Typos I didn't notice / forgot to mention. Not all of them. [ Click to expand ]
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #12 by Rose Bunny
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  • She did burn off a foot or more of height, a paunch, plus the additional weight she had as a male. She will be taken care of next chapter, Mob doctor and all.

    As for spacing, I'm working on Text edit, which is pretty bare bones. So formatting is done on the fly by using returns. >_<
    I am far from a proficient writer, as my forgetting capitals and so forth shows, but I do thank you for the help. None of us are perfect, and I do see mistakes in long since published stories from time to time. I'll look for the Acquires, but it will be by eyeballing it. XD

    High-Priestess of the Order of Spirit-Chan


    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 11 months ago #13 by Malady
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  • ^ Oh right! He did lose a lot of weight!

    Usually, your browser has a find function (usually Ctrl+F) that you can use, and then copy it back into TextEdit, perhaps.
    6 years 11 months ago #14 by Iwasforger03
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  • Interesting so far. I'm guessing she's going to wind up in prostitution for a while as a fetish fix type deal? That's how she gets pregnant?

    As a total blank slate, even if she woke up, it's gonna take some interesting turns to explain her winding up at Whateley and equipped for high school, unless she starts to remember bits of her past? Of course, that's just gonna make it worse for the poor thing. You have a streak of being mean to your characters eh? Nothing wrong with it, putting characters through hell makes them more grounded and interesting to me.

    I am a Sexy Shoeless God of War - So suck it CP!
    Dice/Hollow#1
    Dice/HollowDiscuss
    6 years 11 months ago #15 by Rose Bunny
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  • or something else entirely. Part 2 contained a hint, if you can see it. A way for her to become.

    High-Priestess of the Order of Spirit-Chan


    6 years 11 months ago #16 by Malady
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  • The spark? Possible gene read and transfer or something, to generate a baby with?
    6 years 11 months ago #17 by Rose Bunny
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  • Malady wrote: The spark? Possible gene read and transfer or something, to generate a baby with?

    nope. hint: has to do with her power.

    High-Priestess of the Order of Spirit-Chan


    6 years 11 months ago #18 by Malady
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  • To simplify the sig code, just use " whateleyacademy.net/index.php/forum/project-discussion/1924 ". The stuff after the number doesn't matter. It just makes it more understandable.

    Typo and minor notes [ Click to expand ]
    6 years 11 months ago #19 by Rose Bunny
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  • info dump because he's getting an agreed 20% of the profits, so he's going to want his investment taken care of correctly.

    High-Priestess of the Order of Spirit-Chan


    6 years 11 months ago #20 by Rose Bunny
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  • Rose Bunny wrote: info dump because he's getting an agreed 20% of the profits, so he's going to want his investment taken care of correctly.

    changed to be less dumpish

    High-Priestess of the Order of Spirit-Chan


    6 years 11 months ago #21 by Malady
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  • Rose Bunny wrote:

    Rose Bunny wrote: info dump because he's getting an agreed 20% of the profits, so he's going to want his investment taken care of correctly.

    changed to be less dumpish


    Nice! He's just so rambly that it gets sorta irrelevant! Interesting theories there, though!

    On the latest part, which is mainly setup for later, I think:

    Where are they going, I wonder?

    Heroes are coming to help, hopefully! ... Pinball... I wonder if she'll help too?

    ... OH! She's got "language" now! :woohoo:
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #22 by Rose Bunny
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  • It's a little over 90 miles from Minneapolis to Eau Claire, so it's not -as- close as it was made to seem in Sphere's story, buuut I would imagine that the Twin Cities make for a much better stomping ground for Pinball, as far as criminal activity. If there were a Goodkind Bank in Eau Claire, she might have hit it too many times, causing it to close or she might not want to hit it too much, so that it can be narrowed down that that's where she lives.

    So Pinball may have just been in the area, or maybe not...

    High-Priestess of the Order of Spirit-Chan


    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 11 months ago #23 by Malady
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  • It could have been Sphere? She looks like Pinball, after all, and it could be a few years, so she looks even more similar? We haven't gotten a precise date on this story...
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #24 by Rose Bunny
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  • No, it was Pinball. Just a cameo... maybe. Jade, Fey, and Carson will make a brief appearance eventually, as well...

    I have plans for the "Pepper incident"...

    High-Priestess of the Order of Spirit-Chan


    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #25 by Iwasforger03
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  • Poor dear, raped before she's even got enough of a mind to know it is happening. I'd guess the Acquirer is the father.

    I recommend giving a bit more of a clue regarding where the Acquirer got his inspired hiding place idea from. Context is important to appreciate genius and to appreciate fake genius/stupidity

    I am a Sexy Shoeless God of War - So suck it CP!
    Dice/Hollow#1
    Dice/HollowDiscuss
    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Iwasforger03.
    6 years 11 months ago #26 by Rose Bunny
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  • Iwasforger03 wrote: Poor dear, raped before she's even got enough of a mind to know it is happening. I'd guess the Acquirer is the father.

    I recommend giving a bit more of a clue regarding where the Acquirer got his inspired hiding place idea from. Context is important to appreciate genius and to appreciate fake genius/stupidity


    no, no he isn't... O'Sullivan said he knows "quite a few Sidhe"... that will be expanded on. And the location will be revealed... next time... Cliffhangers are to make you want to know more, and to wait eagerly for the resulting reveal.

    High-Priestess of the Order of Spirit-Chan


    6 years 11 months ago #27 by Iwasforger03
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  • Not talking about revealing locations, talking about dropping teasing hints that make sense once we see what the location IS. It helps establish things better, and it's more interesting to read when done well than just "Oh, suddenly had an idea." That can work, but why settle for mediocre?

    I am a Sexy Shoeless God of War - So suck it CP!
    Dice/Hollow#1
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    6 years 11 months ago #28 by Rose Bunny
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  • Chapter 5 is up

    High-Priestess of the Order of Spirit-Chan


    6 years 11 months ago #29 by Malady
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  • Chapter 5 Response [ Click to expand ]
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #30 by Rose Bunny
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  • In that time between the 24th and the 4th they started up using her, presumably as much as possible... and if you saw... some "like her" were in that mix....
    The clothier was wearing silk gloves, so no skin contact there. corrections made and a little more added to emphasize that much was being done in the time gap...

    High-Priestess of the Order of Spirit-Chan


    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #31 by Malady
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  • OMG. She's pregnant... When did it quicken? She's not showing yet, I think? How long is a Sidhe pregnancy?

    Also that murder makes more evidence, presumably. ... Given that there's ~1000 Sidhe, Sullivan knowing a dozen is amazing.

    Typos [ Click to expand ]
    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #32 by Rose Bunny
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  • It's been very brief. I dropped hints about sidhe customers going back the past few parts. So just a week or week and a half at most, if you assume she was moved into the new room on the 24th of March, which was the day of her fitting. Then give a couple days or so before the egg was fertilized, if one of the Sidhe were the first men she was with, and it was fairly soon after. But she's a touch telepath, so very obviously touching the embryo- she can feel a rudimentary presence.

    I'm going to assume 9 months, unless I hear canonically otherwise.

    High-Priestess of the Order of Spirit-Chan


    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 11 months ago #33 by Anne
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  • First, keep going. Don't let smoothing out the rough patches keep you from finishing.
    Second, thank you for sharing!
    6 years 11 months ago #34 by Anne
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  • I wait with bated breath for the next installment. Oh OH she knows he murdered someone. Never a good thing to realize you are held by someone capable of such a thing!
    6 years 11 months ago #35 by Rose Bunny
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  • want a mint for that bated breath?

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    6 years 11 months ago #36 by Malady
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  • Ditto everything Anne said. I wonder how she'll get out of this. Perhaps she has some mind control powers, instead of just touch mindreading?

    Typo: “ The Acuirer? > “The Acquirer?
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #37 by Rose Bunny
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  • as we all know, Jesse Ventura is a real life Mutant...

    *rolls eyes*

    He's a brick... head.

    High-Priestess of the Order of Spirit-Chan


    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 11 months ago #38 by Rose Bunny
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  • incidentally, real place.

    Lake Phalen

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    6 years 11 months ago #39 by Anne
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  • Well we know that being thick is often a trait of a brick, so that stands to reason!
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #40 by Malady
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  • conformation > confirmation

    “Gran, could ye give Mum a call? I know She’d like t’ hear from ye.”


    I thought that was Grandma, which have been weird, but it's GrandPA... WOAH. ... Where's his dad? And, MGC comes from the mother... So who is his mother?

    He was falling apart, contrary to her coming together.


    Not sure if Contrary's the right word, but awesome phrasing!
    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 11 months ago #41 by Rose Bunny
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  • Brogue was talking to his Maternal grandpa.

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    6 years 11 months ago #42 by Malady
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  • Yes, I got that. And then I started Wild Guessing and rambling.

    Well, nothing to indicate that Brogue's dad is dead. ... I wonder if he has siblings that are on the other side of the law... Basically a guarantee that he's got cousins that are...
    6 years 11 months ago #43 by Rose Bunny
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  • Changed it a little to make it clearer.

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    6 years 11 months ago #44 by Malady
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  • Grand-da sounds a bit too long for my ears, and I'd think Gramps would be best if you're gonna spell it out... But maybe wait to see if Anne or someone else weighs in first? *shrug*
    6 years 11 months ago #45 by Rose Bunny
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  • Malady wrote: Grand-da sounds a bit too long for my ears, and I'd think Gramps would be best if you're gonna spell it out... But maybe wait to see if Anne or someone else weighs in first? *shrug*

    I almost used seanathair... run to your translators!

    High-Priestess of the Order of Spirit-Chan


    6 years 11 months ago #46 by Malady
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  • 6 years 11 months ago #47 by Iwasforger03
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  • interesting work! She's piecing herself together from bits and fragments. That kind of worries me, she could come out really messed up. Probably will be really messed up.

    And pregnant.

    I am a Sexy Shoeless God of War - So suck it CP!
    Dice/Hollow#1
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    6 years 11 months ago #48 by null0trooper
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  • Iwasforger03 wrote: interesting work! She's piecing herself together from bits and fragments. That kind of worries me, she could come out really messed up. Probably will be really messed up.


    Just like Ireland!

    Iwasforger03 wrote: And pregnant.


    Not so much like Ireland as the years wear on.

    Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.

    WhatIF Stories: Buy the Book

    Discussion Thread
    6 years 11 months ago #49 by Rose Bunny
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  • funny enough, I just stopped writing on chapter 9, because e-mail told me a reply had come up.

    Messed up and Pregnant? That sounds pretty much like Ireland. I know a lot of Irish Catholics from St. Paul. My best friend's Dad is 2nd oldest of 10.

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    6 years 11 months ago #50 by Malady
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  • BOLO


    I interpreted that as the tank for lols.

    Well, after that… a cardiologist


    I know, right?


    Prostitution of what's basically a kid is very different from drug dealing. It's like Marcone of Dresden Files.

    Typos [ Click to expand ]
    6 years 11 months ago #51 by Rose Bunny
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  • BOLO is police lingo for Be On (the) Look Out

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    6 years 11 months ago #52 by Malady
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  • Yes, I know, it just made me think of the tank first.

    And we still don't know when this is?

    Wait, just to confirm, Rossi is suspecting Eire??
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #53 by Rose Bunny
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  • Rossi's sanity has gone bye bye... so rationalizing that his trouble began when he found her is the next jump. He thought it was Wessel, he killed him. He thought he could get away with that, he learns he didn't... who next gets the blame...? She does.
    Aaaand it's deliberately vague as to when this happens, so that she could potentially be placed in Whateley towards the middle of her pregnancy, or for entry after delivery.... assuming I let her carry to term. So the days and months are clear, yes.... but other than that, the year is intentionally vague beyond some time in Gen 1.

    High-Priestess of the Order of Spirit-Chan


    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 11 months ago #54 by Anne
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  • So Rossi's entirely around the bend. Brogue has angry words to his gran-da probably going to be a rousing 'ruction there eventually or something of the sort. Oh, I hope she figures out how to escape, or the need to escape. I think she suspects it but doesn't quite have enough information to pull it together. Still calling him Master in her mind. Oh, that is bad, bad, bad! Almost as bad as For Master. Interest here is that you let her finish her pregnancy. Who will care for the child though, she's really not even a teen as far as her mental capacity goes. OOOOhhh Rossi really is an evil piece of work. I hope I didn't spoil anything for anyone, but if you're this deep in the threads and just starting, may I say, that's your tough luck!
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #55 by Rose Bunny
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  • Glad you are getting into it. I am planning the next chapter, things are afoot.

    High-Priestess of the Order of Spirit-Chan


    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 11 months ago #56 by Malady
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  • Congrats on the 10th part! ... Is that a Banshee Wail?? ... Yay! She got rescued!

    How's she gonna get her codename?? I guess Brogue might name her??

    Typo: be(e)n in
    6 years 11 months ago #57 by Anne
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  • Awesome, Malady saw the only real error I noted. Excellent work. Baen Sidhe? Or just an instinctive reaction that is something that all Sidhe can do? Rescued, now what happens? I can hardly wait to see the next part!
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #58 by Rose Bunny
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  • If you mean her scream, no she just was screaming, plus magic. I believe only royal lineage Sidhe (Like Nikki) can do the banshee wail. I'm not going to say if she is or isn't a royal, I don't know. If you mean Gavia's song, no. as Avatar of the Loon, she can use loon song, which is very beautiful. relaaaax with me.

    High-Priestess of the Order of Spirit-Chan


    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 11 months ago #59 by Iwasforger03
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  • Interesting, not bad atall. I eagerly await where this goes next.

    I am a Sexy Shoeless God of War - So suck it CP!
    Dice/Hollow#1
    Dice/HollowDiscuss
    6 years 11 months ago #60 by Rose Bunny
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  • I may work on it tonight. So there -might- be two updates today. No promises though.

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    6 years 11 months ago #61 by Malady
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  • Yay! Congrats on getting another update out!

    When they strapped her down, I was like "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!" 'Cause she's allergic. Wait... She wasn't strapped to the exam table, was she?? ... What are the chances that the bed isn't made of synthetics??

    'Cause we don't know what happens with prolonged exposure to synthetics on Sidhe... Might she just start bleeding into the sheets???

    I thought he might call in Sullivan for the fastest info, but no.

    There's history there... What is it, I wonder?

    Typo: bee
    6 years 11 months ago #62 by Rose Bunny
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  • I didn't have him call o'Sullivan because after the glare Sean gave him, and the whole angry tirade, it didn't seem logical. In addition they needed to talk to a medical doctor with insight on the Sidhe, and being headmistress at Whateley, I think Brogue knew Carson would know people that had said experience.

    Plus it allowed for "Hey, they know Carson!" moment, in case they want to send a certain young lass there eventually.

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    6 years 11 months ago #63 by Anne
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  • She really is going to have a hard time, having basically been tabula rasa when she was found.
    6 years 11 months ago #64 by Malady
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  • Anne wrote: She really is going to have a hard time, having basically been tabula rasa when she was found.


    But using Knowledge Copy on people can bring her up to speed on things rapidly...
    6 years 11 months ago #65 by Rose Bunny
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  • Malady wrote:

    Anne wrote: She really is going to have a hard time, having basically been tabula rasa when she was found.


    But using Knowledge Copy on people can bring her up to speed on things rapidly...


    and I also snuck in a hint earlier in the story that you guys may have missed.

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    6 years 11 months ago #66 by Anne
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  • We probably did miss it. Some things the author thinks are obvious are very obscure to the audience. But you know that. The objective is to let the audience learn such things without telling them explicitly. The issue is trusting the audience to see what you do without being utterly obscure. :P
    6 years 11 months ago #67 by Anne
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  • I was excited to see two more parts of this story up when I logged on just now. I'm going to say this, I love this story. Please do let me proofread it when you are finished with it. So far I've only noted a couple of minor punctuation errors in these two parts.
    6 years 11 months ago #68 by Rose Bunny
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  • have at it, what did I miss?

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    6 years 11 months ago #69 by Malady
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  • was out of the tiny room. they continued to wheel her out, through doors, and she was outside!


    Aww! So happy!!!


    I bet that telepath already got some indications from Brogue, if his mental shields aren't tight?

    Typos [ Click to expand ]
    6 years 11 months ago #70 by Rose Bunny
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  • Fixed. aaand, I'll give you a sneak peek at something different I am working on...

    The Call of the Waters
    A Whateley Universe story.
    Part 1


    May 8th, 1994
    The Baker-Smith Household
    Hastings, Minnesota


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    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #71 by Malady
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  • ^ Hmm... If that's when our story actually starts, instead of just seeing our protagonist as a baby or something, that'll be extremely interesting!

    What's your sig say? ... I could just Google Translate, but a bit lazy.
    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #72 by Rose Bunny
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  • The story I'm working on is vaguely related to Eire, in a way.

    that last name should be a hint, you HAVE seen it before.

    and it roughly says "be afraid, for her anger is real " or it did until I changed it.

    Now it says "Fear the girl, for she is aware."

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    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #73 by Malady
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  • I guess they aren't using Eire's telepathy to add info 'cause they don't need her to learn anything new atm...

    Yay! She's got a name now! :)


    Typo [ Click to expand ]
    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 11 months ago #74 by Rose Bunny
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  • Mindweaver is there to do just that... help her do just that, weave her fragments of random consciousness into a more unified 'self'.

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    6 years 11 months ago #75 by Malady
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  • She seems alright already, other than the trauma and impacts of previous events, but I guess we'll see any side-effects of her piecemeal consciousness later?
    6 years 11 months ago #76 by Iwasforger03
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  • I imagine it's gonna take a while for her to really understand that it was even wrong, to do all the mating she did. She may never quite figure that out, and it may fail to traumatize her because she has nothing to compare it against. To her, that WAS normal, and she was hardly unwilling.

    It would actually still be rape, but in this case, because she lacked the ability to provide informed consent, rather than because she was unwilling. More like Statutory rape, basically.

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    6 years 11 months ago #77 by Rose Bunny
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  • Well said!

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    6 years 11 months ago #78 by Anne
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  • Essylt? Awe what an awesome name! I still see you have a couple of awkward points in this. I'm working on a single screen and am not sure how not to put in spoilers, so... I'll leave it alone for now.
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #79 by Malady
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  • Spoiler boxes:
    [spoiler][/spoiler]

    I guess Essylt sorta does look like Aunghadhail?? Red hair, a girl...

    What are the sidhe hair colors? Do they 'have' blondes??
    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 11 months ago #80 by Rose Bunny
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  • Malady wrote: Spoiler boxes:

    [spoiler][/spoiler]

    I guess Essylt sorta does look like Aunghadhail?? Red hair, a girl...

    What are the sidhe hair colors? Do they 'have' blondes??

    you tell me.

    As for her appearance and the red hair, her "original self" was of Irish descent, as a lot of Sidhe appear to be...
    Think about some of their names.

    Reilly, Gwendolyn, Wylann, Rhiannon...

    Blonde moments?:
    Zephyr
    Sanctuary

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    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #81 by Malady
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  • Rose Bunny wrote: As for her appearance and the red hair, her "original self" was of Irish descent, as a lot of Sidhe appear to be...
    Think about some of their names.

    Reilly, Gwendolyn, Wylann, Rhiannon...


    :ohmy: :lol:

    I bet that's 'not' a coincidence...

    Placing a bet on the younger Reilly as Bratty Sister!

    ... Could all Sidhe Mutants be descended from Human-Sidhe matings??

    ... But, back to Eire... So she's not going to Whateley, where's her story gonna go from here? Try to find her previous self's identity?
    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 11 months ago #82 by Rose Bunny
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  • Malady wrote:

    Rose Bunny wrote: As for her appearance and the red hair, her "original self" was of Irish descent, as a lot of Sidhe appear to be...

    that might be worthy of a topic?


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    6 years 11 months ago #84 by Rose Bunny
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  • Part 14 (!!) is up.

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    6 years 11 months ago #85 by Iwasforger03
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  • That explanation was correct... but less than ideal, especially since she's pregnant. Based on that explanation, all she has to do is find somebody who wants to mate, and it's ok, even if they're a total stranger she knows nothing about. now, granted that might be slightly hard if she doesn't really leave hq, so that will help.

    Why I say "Especially since she's pregnant" is because of some research I did. Now, if you are or have been a pregnant mother with a different experience, please feel free to correct me. I did research for a pregnant character once, wanting to know what to expect and look out for in my writing and portrayal (this was a pathfinder campaign, the pregnancy was not planned). One of the big things that popped up a lot was that women who are pregnant are apparently MORE inclined to sexual activity during their second trimester (and sometimes their first) than women who are not pregnant. This is because of the pregnancy hormones.

    The end result is basically she's going to really feel like she wants to mate and have idea or context for why, unless it was covered by the documentary? Even then, without enough context, she might just feel she should go find someone who wants to mate with her, since she has no context for things like "not sleeping with strangers" or "sex being something special shared between people who care deeply for each other," etc.

    Still, I'm enjoying your writing and story and look forward to seeing you improve even more.

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    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #86 by Rose Bunny
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  • A lot of it depends on the situation. Granted, in my case I was 17 and living on my own as an emancipated minor. I knew what I was in for, and had I been able to carry to term, I would certainly have faced a lot of hardships. It's something that's going to have to be drilled into her. But you kinda have to take it easy on her. She is at the moment a (physically) 14-15 year old, with the mental faculties of a small child. You have to be reassuring and gentle. At the same time, I have a brief "oops" moment planned for later involving her and Brogue. Remember, this is a highly unusual situation, and there isn't exactly a guidebook for these circumstances.

    P.S. you did hit on something correctly. When I was in that situation, I was a "horny as hell" pregnant girl. but there are... ways... of dealing with that.

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    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 11 months ago #87 by Malady
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  • Due to problems that had been caused by her spirit, LeAnna could not have children, but perhaps this young girl was there to make up for that.

    LeAnna hugged the girl. More and more she was beginning to think of this girl like a daughter.

    Worry and concern and at times fear, but when LeAnna squeezed her hand gently, love and acceptance and peace replaced those fears.


    Aww... My heart is so warm!
    6 years 11 months ago #88 by Rose Bunny
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  • Yes, I foreshadowed something from a story that takes place years earlier, in a story that takes place years later.

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    6 years 11 months ago #89 by Malady
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  • Oh, maybe put the art in the Art Gallery ! ... You might have to ask Kristin or someone else to do it?

    Gavia's got a necklace... I wonder if it's important... ... And those eyes. Woah. I was expecting red on white, not red on black...
    6 years 11 months ago #90 by Rose Bunny
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  • Malady wrote: Gavia's got a necklace... I wonder if it's important...


    or she just has a necklace.

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    6 years 11 months ago #91 by Malady
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  • the doughnut falling on the floor


    Nooo! The doughnut! :( :lol:

    Nice scene to introduce us to Lake!

    So Essylt is going to Whateley, presumably after the baby's born or something...

    romantic love is different from family love


    Mmm. Yes, she needed to learn that soon. I wonder what else she has to learn...

    Was there skin contact during the explanation, so Essylt could learn faster?

    Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]


    Typos [ Click to expand ]
    6 years 11 months ago #92 by Rose Bunny
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  • no, she tried to kiss him, I didn't say it was successful. No doughnuts were harmed in the making of this story ( yet)

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    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #93 by Malady
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  • Rose Bunny wrote: no, she tried to kiss him, I didn't say it was successful. No doughnuts were harmed in the making of this story ( yet)


    Sean barely pulled away in time to avoid the kiss.


    ...Um. ... Yes, I caught that. ... I was speculating on if it wasn't avoided.

    Where did the plushie come from? Also the doughnut, but that's less unusual than the presence of a plushie. Also where'd the Ranger Rick and Highlights come from?

    But, more importantly, how far along in the day of April 22nd are we? How close did Lake live, that she could arrive in the same day? So many questions... Also, who's Bill! Those questions and more, will presumably will be answered in later installments! :)

    Don't worry about getting out a chapter every day! We can wait!
    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #94 by Rose Bunny
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  • Bill would, presumably, be the fiancee that Lake left the team to be with.
    The doughnut? Essie probably swiped from the break room.
    The magazines were swiped from the reception area, as stated previously.
    The Plushie? Who knows? It's of the state mammal of Minnesota. It might have come from the gift shop or Leanna's room, or any number of places.
    Lake? probably just drove in from wherever in the metro area that she lives.

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    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #95 by Malady
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  • ^ Well, that shows how much I forgot! Thanks! :)

    Lake is a certified teacher now, presumably! That would be useful for helping Essie!

    ... Oh hey! A new picture!

    ... Hmm... Tamarak's been mentioned a lot... And he's still alive... Oh... He's working for someone else who, perhaps, who wants to capture Essie... Did I guess that already? Too lazy to check... Gonna say I'm more confident 'cause he's been mentioned again.

    Maybe that retrained security guard lets Tamarak in 'cause he recognizes the old member, but doesn't know that he's not in good standing?

    Defcon... I wonder when he'll make an appearance... And we don't know Tamarak, Defcon, or Lake's powers...
    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #96 by Rose Bunny
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  • I'll be getting to Tamarack, you needn't worry about her.
    Lake's powers aren't that important right now. but since you asked. Manifestor/Energizer with water abilities.
    I have plans to drop Defcon's situation in passing at some point.
    and the picture? had to show off just how flat-chested poor LeAnna is now XD.
    and no, you can't have a Doughnut, those are Essy's.

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    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 11 months ago #97 by Malady
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  • Rose Bunny wrote: I'll be getting to Tamarack, you needn't worry about her.
    Lake's powers aren't that important right now. but since you asked. Manifestor/Energizer with water abilities.
    [...]
    and the picture? had to show off just how flat-chested poor LeAnna is now XD.
    and no, you can't have a Doughnut, those are Essy's.


    Oh! Tamarak's a Girl! Huh.
    How do you have an Energizer with Water Abilities? Or is she an Internal, not an external?
    I guess LeAnna was comparable to Essy?

    ... Well, I have Ice Cream! No Ice Cream and Heartbreak for Essy. :P
    6 years 11 months ago #98 by Rose Bunny
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  • Energizer, in that she can control the molecules of the water she summons, unlike Riptide, us uses specialized TK... So yeah, I have a water-bender.

    comparable how?
    Essy is actually a few inches taller than LeAnna, and Essy is a D cup. LeAnna's breasts regressed to the point that hey are similar to those of a pre-pubescent girl.

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    6 years 11 months ago #99 by Malady
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  • Rose Bunny wrote: Energizer, in that she can control the molecules of the water she summons, unlike Riptide, us uses specialized TK... So yeah, I have a water-bender.

    comparable how?
    Essy is actually a few inches taller than LeAnna, and Essy is a D cup. LeAnna's breasts regressed to the point that hey are similar to those of a pre-pubescent girl.


    Cool!

    So, pre-manifestation LeAnna was taller than Essy and ... No, LeAnna only had a C cup...

    That picture of LeAnna... Is like... at least pubescent? At least it gets the eyes and hair right?
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #100 by Rose Bunny
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  • LeAnna went from actually
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    to having her spirit kinda botch some things up... " what are these fatty bag things on the chest... birds don't have these, they can't be important... out they go"

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    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 11 months ago #101 by Malady
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  • Rose Bunny wrote: LeAnna went from actually to having her spirit kinda botch some things up... " what are these batty bag things on the chest... birds don't have these, they can't be important... out they go"


    :blink: ... Well, that is massive incompatibility or whatever, unlike Aquerna, who has her spirit work with her enough to get into heat at a good time for her, instead of... Well, not.

    What's LeAnna's AV level??
    6 years 11 months ago #102 by Rose Bunny
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  • Funny you should mention Anna's issue... *Plots things for Call* which is where I will answer her avatar question.

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    6 years 11 months ago #103 by Malady
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  • Woah. A week has passed! ... And morning sickness... Ugh.

    Ah. The Puzzle Piece metaphor for minds... Interesting... I guess a bit of an exaggeration, 'cause some pieces should be dyed in the info that has already been gathered? But they're disconnected, and not fully complete, and it'd be better if they could piece it together faster, instead of waiting for it to knit itself together?

    "Essylt bounced around happy"

    Aww! It's rare for characters to express their joy so openly! It's nice!

    Typos and spoilers [ Click to expand ]
    6 years 11 months ago #104 by Rose Bunny
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  • power of incontinence comes later on in the pregnancy. and she's still joyful because she's still a little kid mentally.

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    6 years 11 months ago #105 by Rose Bunny
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  • 17 ( already?) is up!

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    6 years 11 months ago #106 by Iwasforger03
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  • Awwwwwww, that's adorable. Bad judge, trying to hand the poor girl off to the MCO so flippantly.

    I am a Sexy Shoeless God of War - So suck it CP!
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    6 years 11 months ago #107 by Malady
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  • Response to Part 17 [ Click to expand ]
    6 years 11 months ago - 6 years 11 months ago #108 by Rose Bunny
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  • Corrections have been made. Also, I have already decided the gender.
    Part of the message is hidden for the guests. Please log in or register to see it.

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    Last Edit: 6 years 11 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 11 months ago #109 by Anne
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  • I noticed this: ...known family has ben discovered...
    Ben is my son, been is a verb that you need here!
    6 years 11 months ago #110 by Rose Bunny
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  • Yeah, I know. the e on my keyboard is kinda sensitive sometimes. It needs a little more force at times to register that it has been hit. I've noticed that a few times, as has Malady.

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    6 years 11 months ago #111 by Anne
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  • Meh, it happens to all of us!
    6 years 10 months ago #112 by Rose Bunny
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  • 18 already?

    I expect the next few chapters might be a little weak, I don't think I can do convincing court drama, but I'll try.

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    6 years 10 months ago - 6 years 10 months ago #113 by Malady
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  • Anticipating such an order [Huh. They're prepared...]

    I am going to formally declare a gag order [Yay! A good judge!]

    [Oh. It's a recent assessment... May 4th and now's May 5th. That's good.]

    Well, you're implying the connection between her current guardians and her current state, instead of being direct about it, but the implication is pretty clear.

    Typos [ Click to expand ]
    Last Edit: 6 years 10 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 10 months ago #114 by Rose Bunny
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  • Corrections made... and I waited to see if you would pick up on Judith Carlson on your own, Malady...

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    6 years 10 months ago - 6 years 10 months ago #115 by Malady
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  • What about Judith Carlson? ... *Searches both of your stories...* ... OMG. Like. Woah.

    Maybe if they were mentioned in both stories at a time close to each other, I might have picked up on it?
    Last Edit: 6 years 10 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 10 months ago #116 by Rose Bunny
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  • MWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH

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    6 years 10 months ago #117 by Anne
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  • Short and 'sweet' scene setting for court room drama. Drat, the judge couldn't throw the MCO out. You just know they are up to something bad! :twisted:
    6 years 10 months ago #118 by Rose Bunny
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  • Episode 19, getting things off with a bang.

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    6 years 10 months ago #119 by Malady
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  • Rose Bunny wrote: Episode 19, getting things off with a bang.


    Hahaha! ... And then it's just brushed aside as a moment of mindlessness! Lol. Or not... What is his plan??

    ... I was so distracted, that I forgot to finish this comment! *sigh*

    Typos and notes [ Click to expand ]
    6 years 10 months ago #120 by Rose Bunny
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  • My question is "What was Carson doing in Wyoming?"

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    6 years 10 months ago #121 by mhalpern
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  • black armor be it body armor or power suits, is generic.

    Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.
    6 years 10 months ago #122 by Iwasforger03
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  • He's not wrong, but not a bad attempt at court drama.

    I am a Sexy Shoeless God of War - So suck it CP!
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    Dice/HollowDiscuss
    6 years 10 months ago #123 by Rose Bunny
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  • I essentially decided to blow up the courtroom, because I realized that it would get tedious and boring to examine and cross examine everyone on the team, and Essy, and so-called 'experts'

    It's an interesting issue with staging a fight in the Hennepin County Government Center, because the courtrooms are on the upper floors of one side, with narrow walkways, and a fall down to the floor of the atrium....


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    6 years 10 months ago #124 by Anne
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  • Ya know, that's a long way down!
    6 years 10 months ago - 6 years 10 months ago #125 by Malady
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  • Anne wrote: Ya know, that's a long way down!


    Essylt has wind powers to blow her enemies away... And in this case, "away" may mean "over the railing"... ... She hasn't killed yet, I think? If she does now... How will that affect her?

    Rose Bunny wrote: I essentially decided to blow up the courtroom,


    Unintentional pun! 'Cause wind powers!
    Last Edit: 6 years 10 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 10 months ago - 6 years 10 months ago #126 by Rose Bunny
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  • Those aren't the only ones she necessarily has, she's not Zephyr, just the only ones she's demonstrated, and Starfield did teach her a few other simple spells.

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    6 years 10 months ago #127 by Rose Bunny
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  • part 20! is! up!

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    6 years 10 months ago - 6 years 10 months ago #128 by Malady
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  • Part 20 Response! Soo much procrastination and delays! [ Click to expand ]
    Last Edit: 6 years 10 months ago by Malady. Reason: Neatening up...
    6 years 10 months ago - 6 years 10 months ago #129 by Rose Bunny
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  • Bailiff guy was there for tugging at the heartstrings :(

    Essy froze the water Renata provided.

    The Eye flash is an effect of Renata's energizer abilities. I'll look over the rest of the comment in a bit, as I have stuff to work on.

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    Last Edit: 6 years 10 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 10 months ago #130 by Malady
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  • 6 years 10 months ago - 6 years 10 months ago #131 by Rose Bunny
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  • Malady wrote: It works! I'm saddened that he's likely not gonna live.

    not much you can do for a guy when the bullet goes in one temple, and out the other.

    Fixes made.

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    Last Edit: 6 years 10 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 10 months ago #132 by Malady
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  • Umm... These still aren't fixed... [ Click to expand ]
    6 years 10 months ago #133 by Rose Bunny
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  • Um, yes it is... :dry:

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    6 years 10 months ago #134 by Anne
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  • Rose Bunny wrote:

    Malady wrote: It works! I'm saddened that he's likely not gonna live.

    not much you can do for a guy when the bullet goes in one temple, and out the other.


    Unfortunately, occasionally even in stories that aren't porn characters exist only to be fvcked....
    6 years 10 months ago #135 by Rose Bunny
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  • Part 21 is up.

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    6 years 10 months ago #136 by Malady
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  • Part 21 Response! [ Click to expand ]
    6 years 10 months ago #137 by Rose Bunny
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  • Yes, we did know her eye color.

    Part 2:

    The diminutive girl shook herself, casting off the loose snow before she staggered uneasily forward. There was still snow falling and she squinted as the wind whipped it in her face. She blinked her large grey eyes. Eyes that were a smokey shade of grey, mysterious and enigmatic. Eyes that seemed slightly too large, but gave her a wide-eyed look of beauty and intrigue.


    as for the Judge knowing Gavia, the petition would have had to have been made in her civilian name... and even if she slipped out and put on regular clothes, the black and white hair and dark eyes with red irises are still a dead giveaway.

    (and Trish Van Pilsum is an ACTUAL Twin Cities reporter, working for KMSP 9, the local Fox Affiliate)

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    6 years 10 months ago #138 by Rose Bunny
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  • Eire 22 is up!

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    6 years 10 months ago #139 by Malady
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  • Part 22 Response! So heartwarming! [ Click to expand ]
    6 years 10 months ago - 6 years 10 months ago #140 by Rose Bunny
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  • Well, with a house, There will be room for the baby. -IF- Essylt goes to Whateley, and they can't house the baby there, she can stay with Grandma. ( I know all indications are looking like Loophole is pregnant, but she's an RA, and will have her own room -which she might have to soundproof-, or move in with Kodiak after he graduates and lingers nearby,... maybe in town?) Plus a place for the baby to stay on holidays. The downside of living at the HQ being that there are all sorts of employees coming in and out, no privacy.

    As for the mithril, let's just chalk it up to saving up salary. I mean you don't have to pay rent if you live at the HQ, they might have snagged reward money for brining in dangerous fugitives. As I mentioned in an earlier post, the heroes of the Recognized Minnesota teams are state law enforcement officers, meaning they get salaries, health care, benefits. presumably a nice 401K, dental, etc. ...And I'm sure as a gadgeteer/devisor, Defcon has made a penny or two off inventions... Heck, he might have done the design and manufacture of the weapons and the collar. (which if you look at my icon, you can see)

    oh, and as far as the anti-allergy spell. It's not so powerful that she can start wearing spandex for long periods, but if she were to sit in a vinyl chair with a skirt on for a little bit, it wouldn't bother her, or on an iron bench (why does Whateley still have those, anyhow?) for a couple minutes, she'd be okay.

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    Last Edit: 6 years 10 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 10 months ago #141 by Malady
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  • Rose Bunny wrote: -IF- Essylt goes to Whateley,


    Oooh! ... Is she going, or not? That's gonna be interesting to speculate about... She could be homeschooled. No reason why not?

    Minnesota treats its heroes really well! In Canon, the ones in New York and stuff might be treated as well, but we dunno?

    Nice note with the Icon!
    6 years 10 months ago - 6 years 10 months ago #142 by Rose Bunny
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  • I have to keep some suspense, and while she has matured almost as rapidly as her education level, she still hasn't been around people her own age. Something that being out in the new neighborhood might test.

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    Last Edit: 6 years 10 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 10 months ago #143 by Rose Bunny
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  • 23 is up!

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    6 years 10 months ago - 6 years 10 months ago #144 by Malady
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  • Part 23 Response [ Click to expand ]
    Last Edit: 6 years 10 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 10 months ago - 6 years 10 months ago #145 by Rose Bunny
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  • corrections made.

    The Team did her MID, so being protective, they left it vague by classifying what they could. They don't want to see their little one hurt because of something on her MID. Soooo no mentioning the Iron thing.

    They are guessing at her being a warper. She seems to have some degree of luck, but what testing they can conduct on her is limited due to her condition.

    Yeah, LeAnna was a nervous new mom, kinda rambley.

    Essy is probably creeping up on the mentality of a 12 year old now, so she's getting closer to her physical age. Her studies though have pretty much brought her up to par, maybe even slightly above, someone due to enter 9th grade.

    She's getting all the books because she wants to be a good momma. <3 Since she "grew up" with a pimp as her 'caregiver'.

    Yes, she mentioned the Sundering, she is kinda prone to excitement and babbling, I think.

    The Celtic music? Blame Brogue. He probably played a lot around her. So long as it's good Celtic music like Loreena McKennitt, and not the artificial manufactured groups/events like Celtic Woman or Lord of the Dance.

    She said "law enforcement" because in the sense that an FBI Agent isn't a cop, her mother sort of is, but isn't.

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    Last Edit: 6 years 10 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 10 months ago #146 by Rose Bunny
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  • Part 24 - WooT!

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    6 years 10 months ago - 6 years 10 months ago #147 by Malady
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  • Part 24 Response. Woah, those developments! [ Click to expand ]
    Last Edit: 6 years 10 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 10 months ago #148 by Rose Bunny
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  • No, it's Gen 1, presumably this takes place between year one and two... augh, exact date confirmed. So right now Nikki is going through the whole ordeal described in her appearances in Hank's stories.


    Meaning that she's still for now in Queen Bitch mode.

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    6 years 10 months ago #149 by Rose Bunny
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  • Next, on a special episode of Blossom... A very Call of the Waters episode 25 of Eire is up.

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    6 years 10 months ago #150 by Malady
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  • Part 25! WOAH! We're at Whateley! Cliffhanger! [ Click to expand ]
    6 years 10 months ago #151 by Rose Bunny
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  • Ok, most of the corrections made.

    As far as Sam not being surprised, She may have been. But the best security officers don't let it show.

    I thought Mal, that you would make a comment about the 'ample cleavage', but I guess you figured she had on bigger breast inserts, being older.

    As far as not using a title for Carson, I figure it was casual conversation, so she was being casual. like someone would say, "Deliver this letter to Jackson in accounting"

    Yes, I wanted to Squeeze in the Reference to Anna. Since the two are in a similar boat.

    I can see her running around yelling at the people that teased her. "Loons are not Ducks!!!"

    Aaand, no Kayda can't do that. That'd be like asking Kayda if she can get the spirit to change Anna's toenails back, or put Razorback back to how jack is supposed to be.

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    6 years 10 months ago - 6 years 10 months ago #152 by Malady
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  • Rose Bunny wrote: I thought Mal, that you would make a comment about the 'ample cleavage', but I guess you figured she had on bigger breast inserts, being older.


    Yeah, that was my thought. And if the description was from Delarose's POV, I'd also say DirtyOldMan or something...

    But then again, is there any way to describe that area without provoking such thoughts?

    I suppose, the semi-clinical or whatever, "her chest was of exorbitant breadth" might work... Hmm...
    Last Edit: 6 years 10 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 10 months ago #153 by Rose Bunny
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  • She had huge... tracts of land?

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    6 years 10 months ago #154 by Rose Bunny
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  • Yeah, I don't know how to make it not sound lecherous.

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    6 years 10 months ago #155 by Malady
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  • *shrugs* ... Well, you got the appearance across, and that's what matters the most?
    6 years 9 months ago #156 by Rose Bunny
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  • 2
    6

    i
    s

    u
    p
    !

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    6 years 9 months ago - 6 years 9 months ago #157 by Malady
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  • And now we meet Mrs. Carson! [ Click to expand ]
    Last Edit: 6 years 9 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 9 months ago - 6 years 9 months ago #158 by Rose Bunny
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  • As far as the Sundering, I would imagine that a hero team would have access to a bit more information than most people with Google. Essy would have used her phone, and the access to the team database to look up sidhe history, one would presume.

    As far as the "Us" she is referring to Mal, you forgot about the little one.

    Why Sanctuary? As a healer, she knows Doyle, and can get Essy there quickly. She is a sidhe, Carson maybe thought that'd be a comforting thing. Why she's still there? Maybe she hadn't left yet? Maybe she was going to take summer magic courses with Caduceus? Either is a possibility. As per Hank 3, Most of Kimba hadn't left yet. Notably Nikki, obviously.
    And knowing sanctuary's name? A good teacher/principal/headmaster or mistress would make an effort to familiarize themselves with the student body, even the ones that aren't troublemakers. Then again, She might have indirectly been involved in the " no shrines" incident. A lot of that was "no shrines of Nikki and Kayda", so maybe there was some shrine to the Queen to Come issue involving Rhiannon. Or maybe Carson remembers her name because she likes Fleetwood Mac, and that song triggers her remembering?


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    Last Edit: 6 years 9 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 9 months ago #159 by Rose Bunny
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  • 27 is up!

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    6 years 9 months ago - 6 years 9 months ago #160 by Malady
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  • Part 27! [ Click to expand ]


    Tennant > Tenent.
    Last Edit: 6 years 9 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 9 months ago - 6 years 9 months ago #161 by Rose Bunny
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  • Well, Mal... she's demonstrated elemental magics, wind, cold ( ice/water), now electricity. And Illusion magic... she's a Mage 5, possibly borderline 6? So, a fight with Nikki might not be the foregone conclusion it might seem, though Nikki has more experience and a bit more power...

    Yes, LeAnna is a peach, remember... she's "Detention Duck"

    LeAnna: "Loons aren't ducks!"


    As for the Dick... since he was expelled before school even started, canon isn't something you need to worry about.

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    Last Edit: 6 years 9 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 9 months ago #162 by Malady
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  • Oh. ... I'm just noting her magics. And expecting Fey to appear in some manner, 'cause she's so relevant. Never thought that they'd fight...

    But, if this stays away from Canon, that'd mean that Fey would have to remain unaware of Essy... Hmm... I wonder how long this visit's gonna be then...

    Just searched Brigand. The name's used by a hero in Silver Linings, actually. The name just sounded familiar, and so I thought he was a canon frosh. ... If he's getting rejected / expelled... He might join up in any conspiracy trying to capture Essy... Like with that guy / girl who was kicked off the super team or something...

    ... Wind, Water, and Electricity... I'm thinking, if I haven't already said, Storm Specialization, which makes sense, sorta, given Ireland, maybe? ... And they all complement the illusion aspect, as they easily provide ways to get people to blink and distract and stuff, so illusions aren't as easily noticed...

    Just noting that it's Ophelia Tenent , but Tenant makes sense, as it's a word, and has been used as her last name in Canon. It's just that the first use was as "Tenent"...

    Hmm... Every Junior does Team Tactics, IIRC? So, who did LeAnna do it with, and did they stay in touch, I wonder?
    6 years 9 months ago #163 by Wrayth
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  • Rose, thanks for this tale. I don't comment very often, but you had me laughing with Mr. Dickey's loss of control.

    My only complaint is that I wish you could write larger chunks faster. So no a real complaint.

    May your muse continue to grace you with stories to share with us.

    wrayth
    6 years 9 months ago #164 by Rose Bunny
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  • Thanks Wrayth, if you like Eire, give Call of the Waters a try. It's the story of Essylt's adoptive mother, LeAnna.

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    6 years 9 months ago #165 by Rose Bunny
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  • 28 is up!

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    6 years 9 months ago #166 by Malady
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  • Part 28! [ Click to expand ]
    6 years 9 months ago #167 by Rose Bunny
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  • Overdue, I know... but it is hard writing 2... ( sort of 3, if you count Host and Tapeworm) stories... maybe this weekend, or Monday, perhaps.

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    6 years 9 months ago #168 by Malady
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  • Cool!

    BTW, I'll be Mobile-only from Friday to Monday.

    ... Also, since I forgot, "So, Essy's going to Whateley!"

    It's gonna be a long road to get there, possibly, what with Tamarack, and then anything that pops up after that... Or it might be quiet for a while?

    Interesting that Essy at Whateley means that we'll have to wait for Canon to get to that point! Lol.
    6 years 9 months ago #169 by Rose Bunny
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  • Well, since she'll be living in the Teacher's village, she won't be around the dorms for various hi-jinx. And I think I can tip-toe around Fey. I mean she really doesn't interact much with the other Sidhe. Not even Selkie, who is in Poe.

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    6 years 8 months ago #170 by Rose Bunny
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  • Finally, 29.

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    6 years 8 months ago #171 by Malady
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  • Part 29! [ Click to expand ]
    6 years 8 months ago #172 by Rose Bunny
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  • Not the Woodwife, just another nature-based mage.

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    6 years 8 months ago #173 by Rose Bunny
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  • 30! is up.

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    6 years 8 months ago #174 by null0trooper
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  • Stealing some of Malady's thunder:

    Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]


    Lesson for the Day: "There is always someone out there whose signature power or skill punks whatever you've got."

    Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.

    WhatIF Stories: Buy the Book

    Discussion Thread
    6 years 8 months ago #175 by Rose Bunny
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  • That's all you have to say? XD

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    6 years 8 months ago #176 by null0trooper
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  • Rose Bunny wrote: That's all you have to say? XD


    Puppy!!!

    What else is needed? :)

    The opening line comes off a bit weird if one doesn't notice the period at the end of the first sentence, but most readers will be using a larger font, as should I.

    Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]

    Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.

    WhatIF Stories: Buy the Book

    Discussion Thread
    6 years 8 months ago #177 by Malady
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  • Part 30!! [ Click to expand ]
    6 years 8 months ago #178 by Rose Bunny
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  • NOBODY HURTS ROGER AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!!!

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    6 years 8 months ago #179 by Rose Bunny
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  • going to be a pause in releasing Eire and Call of the Waters for a bit, having serious dental pain and need surgery, but that won't for a week. so I'm going to be a moaning potato for a while.

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    6 years 8 months ago #180 by Malady
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  • Oh... Sorry to hear that! ... Uh... Good to know you're getting it treated!
    6 years 7 months ago #181 by Rose Bunny
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  • 31 is up.

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    6 years 7 months ago #182 by Malady
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  • Gotta go! But yay! Another chapter! Thanks!

    Part 31! [ Click to expand ]
    6 years 7 months ago - 6 years 7 months ago #183 by Rose Bunny
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  • It is her first killing, but it was self-defense. and Roger-defense. Can't forget Roger the corgi.

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    Last Edit: 6 years 7 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 7 months ago #184 by Anne
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  • It might be Essy's first killing, but in it she proves that she is most definitely a force to be reckoned with!
    6 years 7 months ago #185 by Rose Bunny
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  • part 32 is up!

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    6 years 7 months ago #186 by Malady
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  • Part 32! [ Click to expand ]
    6 years 7 months ago #187 by Rose Bunny
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  • It's not Jeff, as he'd be around he same age as Gavia. I know who it is, but I am not saying yet.

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    6 years 7 months ago #188 by Anne
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  • No, definitely not Jeff. Something is up? Oh yeah something is up. Just FYI standard handcuffs are steel (so far as I know) so why would a rent-a-cop have anything else?
    6 years 7 months ago #189 by Rose Bunny
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  • Anne wrote: No, definitely not Jeff. Something is up? Oh yeah something is up. Just FYI standard handcuffs are steel (so far as I know) so why would a rent-a-cop have anything else?

    why indeed, except to restrain a magic user?

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    6 years 7 months ago #190 by Rose Bunny
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  • Essie's back... but sorry, no Roger.

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    6 years 7 months ago - 6 years 7 months ago #191 by Malady
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  • Part 33! ... I had to refresh on how the last part ended... Things make sense now, all the prep and stuff...

    Boxed for longness [ Click to expand ]


    Typos [ Click to expand ]
    Last Edit: 6 years 7 months ago by Malady.
    6 years 7 months ago - 6 years 7 months ago #192 by Rose Bunny
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  • Good memory, it is indeed Pinball. As far as Malone, I figure he's the sort that would have been like "eww, no... mutant cooties", so as an H1member, no, not gonna sleep with one.

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    Last Edit: 6 years 7 months ago by Rose Bunny.
    6 years 6 months ago #193 by Rose Bunny
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  • Eire 34, Happy Independence Day Essy!

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    6 years 6 months ago #194 by null0trooper
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  • ... the squirrel never saw the coyote come up on it from behind, tearing it apart. The bloody remains sat there, blood seeping into the ground.


    This has been a Public Service Announcement, reminding you, your friends, and your family, to always be aware of your places in the food chain.

    Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.

    WhatIF Stories: Buy the Book

    Discussion Thread
    6 years 6 months ago #195 by Malady
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  • Yay! A happy, happy day! ... With a bit of introspection sadness...

    Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]


    Onto Whateley!
    6 years 6 months ago #196 by Rose Bunny
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  • Hey Mal. Coyotes are not wolves, though they can breed with them.

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    6 years 6 months ago #197 by null0trooper
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  • If it were Coyote stopping for a snack, that spirit ain't coming back.

    Forum-posted ideas are freely adoptable.

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    Discussion Thread
    6 years 6 months ago #198 by Rose Bunny
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  • Yay! Part 35!

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    6 years 6 months ago #199 by Malady
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  • Awww! Feels! [ Click to expand ]
    6 years 6 months ago - 6 years 6 months ago #200 by Rose Bunny
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  • Replies for Mal.

    When Essy gets to Whateley, she's going to live in the Teacher's Village with Renata and her fiancee, and ROGER!, so while she will have a surrogate family, she will also be isolated from the general student body by not living in the dorms.

    She really wouldn't fit in the grouping with Ribbon, Eldritch, and Everheart.. because they REMEMBER being older males. She does not.

    what you said about Romance being limited because she is sidhe... Fey is dating two standard human-mutants.
    and as for Gavia, and your bio-tech ideas. I doubt she's thought about that all that deeply. She adopted Essy out of concern, that grew into love. She hadn't really pondered it, and since she is single, such thoughts would probably come about if she were in a relationship. She isn't seeing anyone. She seems to have reconciled to some degree with Judy over the years, but not to the point of a relationship, it seems.

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    Last Edit: 6 years 6 months ago by Rose Bunny.
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